What's ur Best Marriage Advice
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So in 3 months I will be married. You always hear the horrible stuff but that's not what I am here for. With that being said I am looking for the besy marriage advice from some happily married people. It would be nice to have it before a rocky road or bad time occurs. So I am all ears........
Cheat. Both of you. But remember where you sleep at night. We're all human, we all want something different once in awhile, no matter how great something is you'll always want something different every so often.
Never lie about money.
Isn't that called swingers?
Or polygamy :P LOL0 -
Don't be afraid to sacrifice for one another. Sometimes, one person will be doing more of the sacrificing than the other, but in the end, it all balances out.
Take the word divorce out of your vocabulary.
Don't expect everything to be wonderful all the time. It won't be. There will be days when you are annoyed, days when you don't feel well, days when nothing seems to be going right. There will be times when you don't like each other very much. But as long as you are committed and you are friends.....none of that will matter.
Marriage is hard work, but it's worth it!
(Married for 6 years, together for 12)0 -
OK, I haven't read them all, but my advice is to be nice to each other. It can get easy as you get comfortable to take the other for granted and say things that you wouldn't normally say to other people, or give an attitude when you're in a mood. If you wouldn't speak that way to a friend, don't speak that way to your spouse!
^^ AGREE! Be honest and open, but be kind, too.0 -
hi
married 8 years together 14
one word.....compromise........both learn how to
martyxx0 -
Do not talk about divorce or separation. It's not an option and should not be a part of your vocabulary.0
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The reason I don't beleive in going to bed angry is scripture based. Eph 4:26 Do not let the sun go down on your anger.
I figure if it's good for God, it's good for me.
And from a different stand point....who wants to go to bed all worked up, crying and mad? Not me, I need peace when I sleep. Animosity leads to sleeplessness, nightmares, high blood pressure, etc.
Our family motto is "We love each other, no matter what." You should let go of your pride and work things out. We haven't had a knock down drag out fight in YEARS.0 -
Married 25 years here and the best advice I ever recieved was. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree You are not the same person so you will not agree on everything. Another piece of good advice I recieved very early in my relationship was fight the big fights and let the little ones go.
For example my husband had strong feelings that the children should eat vegatables everyday. I hated vegatables so I decided to let that fight go because it didn't really matter to me but it was very important to him. I am a slob so when he was alway trying to get me to pick up he relized early that was a fight he was not going to win. So he cleans the house of course after 25 years he has rubbed off on me so I do sometimes clean.
But just remember to always say I love you. Good Luck and have a great wedding.0 -
Married 28 years, and two kids. and my husband is not a communicator, but i have had to let that go, you don't always have to talk things to death. Remember when you fight when you make up it's over quit bringing it up. Don't throw past mistakes in someone's face. I like the post where someone said pray together. LOVE LOVE LOVE.0
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Just in case you are NOT religious you can have a very very succsesfull marrige without god.:happy:0
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Next week will make 3 years for me and my husband. I can not say the road has been easy but we are very happily married. Yes communication is key but compromise is too. It is give and take I lost sight of that in the beginning of my marriage I wanted him to do all the compromising and none for myself.0
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Married almost 2 years here (together for 5).
My best advice for you is to remember to enjoy each other as often as you can. Do things together. Talk to your partner about everything. Be open and honest at all times. I love being married to my husband.0 -
Been married since 1978 (34yrs.). For the last 10 years, Separate houses. We get along great, now. :laugh:
lol
this!! My boyfriend (also is my ex husband haha) have been together for almost 9 years, but said if we could build seperate homes close to each other we'd never break up again. We both agree on this :laugh: 0 -
Commit to forever. Adopt the principles of experts like Dr. Harley (marriagebuilders.com) who say to keep romantic love alive you must continue doing the things that make your partner fall in love with you (filling the love bank). This requires first that you understand what's truly important to your partner and that you communicate with total honesty about your needs/desires.
Unfortantely, too often one (or both) partner changes to "catch" the other, or they hide what they really want for fear of losing the other partner. Then, after the wedding revert to who they really are because "now we're married and you have to love me the way I am." Well... that person fell in love with you the way you were when dating.
My standard wedding gift is "His Needs Her Needs" by Dr. Harley.0 -
Been married for 6 happy years.. My hubby and I hardly knew eachother when we got married, we just kinda got married because we thought it would be funny... That being said, 6 years down the line Im even more in love now then I was 6 years ago...
Our "secret" is that we do our best to make eachother laugh. Usually at something completely innapropriate...0 -
Congrats!
I celebrate my 5th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks!
Here's my advice: BOTH of you read "Love & Respect" - The Love She Most Desires. The Respect He Desperately Needs. by Dr. Emerson Eggriches. From cover to cover. And you both need to pray for each other and for yourselves. No marriage is complete and healthy without having God as the leader of it.0 -
I heard this at a wedding:
Marriage is like clothing, every day you need to think about it and put it on...
It is so true....every day you need to think, I want to be married to this person...some days it is easy to think this, some days, not so much Just always remember why you love this person even when you think you are hating them....
Happily and (some times un-happy) almost 18 years....:flowerforyou:0 -
So in 3 months I will be married. You always hear the horrible stuff but that's not what I am here for. With that being said I am looking for the besy marriage advice from some happily married people. It would be nice to have it before a rocky road or bad time occurs. So I am all ears........
Cheat. Both of you. But remember where you sleep at night. We're all human, we all want something different once in awhile, no matter how great something is you'll always want something different every so often.
Never lie about money.
Isn't that called swingers?
it could, but swingers usually hang out together with other couples, this is usually flying solo
this is more about respect, respect enough to not treat my other like a child saying "Oh no, you can't do this, you can't do that, etc". If she finds something she likes she can have it. Same with me. We don't talk about what we do with others (or if we're doing others) but we'll mention stuff about someone at work is hot or someone at work said this to me, etc (we do not work together) and we'll often be like "hey he/she is attractive", "Hey look at him/her". Makes it easier. We also don't take time away from the other to spend time with someone else, we can only spend time with someone else if the other has plans or work or etc. But remember you're still married so you can't be leaving your other for some stranger, probably wouldn't be a good idea anyway, who else in the world would let you get away with spending time with someone else?
you asked for advice, that's my advice, not everyone will agree with my advice of course0 -
Another thing....
In the middle of the fight, get naked and demand sex. It will confuse the CRAP out of your husband and he will look like a deer in headlights, but will go along with it anyways....because he's a dude.
HAHAHA...Love this! beautiful advice and so true, I wish that could work the other way around0 -
Open communication. Talk about EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.
And flirt.0 -
I am VERY happily married. I married my BEST friend and we have been together for 10 years and married for over 9 years. The very best advice I can give you is....
Do NOT go to bed angry. So many couples make the mistake of pulling the silent treatment or storming off and not coming back to talk it out. You HAVE to talk it out. Even if that means staying up until 4 in the morning. Don't sleep on it, talk on it.
Most importantly, keep God at the center of your relationship. If you fight, say a prayer together and it will calm you both down and you can both know how the other feels they need help.
Another thing....
In the middle of the fight, get naked and demand sex. It will confuse the CRAP out of your husband and he will look like a deer in headlights, but will go along with it anyways....because he's a dude.
Congrats on your marriage, may you have endless years of love, bliss and adventure!
Pretty much this! I have been married 5, together for 8 (I know, not that long of a time, but it is when you are only 22:P). I truly am married to the GREATEST guy on the stinkin' planet. Seriously. He is my best friend, my confidant, my rock.
A few other things I will add-
Do NOT speak poorly of him around others. He needs to know that you love him, but more importantly, you respect him.
Marriage is NOT a 50/50. It is 100/100. You give your all to the marriage, regardless of whether your spouse is or not. We have found ourselves a time or two not giving 100%, but because the other was, they held us up.0 -
Simple.
Clear your internet browsing history religiously!0 -
Prenup!!0
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Best advice I can give..well I'm sure there's plenty we've been married 17 years and have 4 children. Make sure your marriage is the priority not just a wedding. Marriage=work and lots of it. Learn how your fiance/husband likes to show love and receive it. Is he the type that enjoys getting/giving gifts? Is it physical touching, hugging, kissing, snuggling? Words of affirmation, being told he's doing a good job, that you love him etc? Or doing things for him and him for you? Figuring this out early on helps prevent lots of arguments and disappointments later. If you like getting gifts as a reminder that he's thinking of you/loves you and he thinks you like words of affirmation being told he loves you, he thinks he's doing everything to make you happy when in reality you aren't. Communication even about things that you think are little, and you shouldn't have to say is important. He can't read your mind any more than you can read his. Don't think marriage is all fairy tales and happily ever afters. There are days when you'll take up and think 'why am I here, what am I doing?' Stick it out, bad times will come but a marriage strong in love and communication can weather any storm
When children come into the picture don't forget that you are a partner and wife as well as a mom. Kids can become all consuming but your husband will need time with you too.
Good Luck to you.0 -
There is a lot of good advise here.
As you can see, the majority of it revolves around communication.
I have been married for 13 years now and I will give you the same advise that I give everyone.
Eventually, you will be on each others last nerve.
Leaving the top off the toothpaste will be an unforgiveable sin and he will go off on you for leaving the seat of the car too far forward.
The smallest things will spark a battle every day.
Step back and look at your bank account.
It is my experience that the biggest fights over the dumbest things happens when you are financially stressed.
I am not saying that looking at all of those negetive numbers will fix all of your problems however, if you can both understand that you are under an extrodinary amount of stress, it might help both of you step back and take a breath.0 -
and start doing daily temperature readings
http://www.smartmarriages.com/tempreading.html0 -
Don't sweat the small things!
Communication! Don't shut down! Talk! Voice when you are not happy. Voice when you are happy! Don't expect him to read your mind! You, his...
Don't lose sight of the things that made you fall in love with one another. After some time those things could start fading.
Don't put your " intimate" time on the back burner.
Don't try to change one another!
Been with my husband for 18 years. Married coming up on 3. We grew up together. Our love grew up together. He is my best friend. I probably have the most fun with him still after all this time.0 -
Definitely communicate. And....pick your battles. I actually got mad at my husband one time for not folding and putting away 3 shirts and two pairs of shorts. W hat the heck was that about? I apologized and decided....he's a great husband and father, what difference does it make if he didn't know where that stuff went? And along with the communication...listen to each other. Don't ask....how was your day and then just half listen. Congrats to you and I wish you many years of happiness.0
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if you want a broken marriage, share the few problems between you with friends, family and Facebook. If you want a solid marriage, DON'T share your personal, marital problems with others, but DO share the MANY positive memories in your life with each other. :bigsmile:
This.......... You never know who may be waiting in the wings to scoop him up when things go south.0 -
Marriage is hard work. BUT a good marriage is even harder!0
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Open communication. BEFORE you get married. I think a lot of people go into a marriage with unrealistic expectations that are never discussed BEFORE the wedding. Money, family, children, work, friends...those are the big ones. The little things matter too.
My pre-marital counselling at our church had a great, eye-opening activity where we stood back to back and the group leader read a list of tasks ranging from, who will take out the trash?, who will get up in the night to feed the baby?, who will clean the bathrooms?, who will be in charge of the home finances?, etc. You raised your hand if you thought it would be you and then turned around to see what your partner thought. Very informative.
There are lots of books like the following that will give you a place to start your discussions. http://www.amazon.com/1001-Questions-Ask-Before-Married/dp/0071438033
Good luck!0
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