What's ur Best Marriage Advice

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  • Pir8Rav
    Pir8Rav Posts: 36 Member
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    Simple.

    Clear your internet browsing history religiously!
  • abrn93
    abrn93 Posts: 77 Member
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    Prenup!!
  • hollyb9871
    hollyb9871 Posts: 401 Member
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    Best advice I can give..well I'm sure there's plenty we've been married 17 years and have 4 children. Make sure your marriage is the priority not just a wedding. Marriage=work and lots of it. Learn how your fiance/husband likes to show love and receive it. Is he the type that enjoys getting/giving gifts? Is it physical touching, hugging, kissing, snuggling? Words of affirmation, being told he's doing a good job, that you love him etc? Or doing things for him and him for you? Figuring this out early on helps prevent lots of arguments and disappointments later. If you like getting gifts as a reminder that he's thinking of you/loves you and he thinks you like words of affirmation being told he loves you, he thinks he's doing everything to make you happy when in reality you aren't. Communication even about things that you think are little, and you shouldn't have to say is important. He can't read your mind any more than you can read his. Don't think marriage is all fairy tales and happily ever afters. There are days when you'll take up and think 'why am I here, what am I doing?' Stick it out, bad times will come but a marriage strong in love and communication can weather any storm

    When children come into the picture don't forget that you are a partner and wife as well as a mom. Kids can become all consuming but your husband will need time with you too.

    Good Luck to you.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
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    There is a lot of good advise here.
    As you can see, the majority of it revolves around communication.
    I have been married for 13 years now and I will give you the same advise that I give everyone.

    Eventually, you will be on each others last nerve.
    Leaving the top off the toothpaste will be an unforgiveable sin and he will go off on you for leaving the seat of the car too far forward.
    The smallest things will spark a battle every day.
    Step back and look at your bank account.
    It is my experience that the biggest fights over the dumbest things happens when you are financially stressed.
    I am not saying that looking at all of those negetive numbers will fix all of your problems however, if you can both understand that you are under an extrodinary amount of stress, it might help both of you step back and take a breath.
  • loseweightjames
    loseweightjames Posts: 365
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    and start doing daily temperature readings
    http://www.smartmarriages.com/tempreading.html
  • Nic620
    Nic620 Posts: 553 Member
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    Don't sweat the small things!

    Communication! Don't shut down! Talk! Voice when you are not happy. Voice when you are happy! Don't expect him to read your mind! You, his...

    Don't lose sight of the things that made you fall in love with one another. After some time those things could start fading.

    Don't put your " intimate" time on the back burner.

    Don't try to change one another!

    Been with my husband for 18 years. Married coming up on 3. We grew up together. Our love grew up together. He is my best friend. I probably have the most fun with him still after all this time.
  • lisag2007
    lisag2007 Posts: 130
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    Definitely communicate. And....pick your battles. I actually got mad at my husband one time for not folding and putting away 3 shirts and two pairs of shorts. W hat the heck was that about? I apologized and decided....he's a great husband and father, what difference does it make if he didn't know where that stuff went? And along with the communication...listen to each other. Don't ask....how was your day and then just half listen. Congrats to you and I wish you many years of happiness.
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    if you want a broken marriage, share the few problems between you with friends, family and Facebook. If you want a solid marriage, DON'T share your personal, marital problems with others, but DO share the MANY positive memories in your life with each other. :bigsmile:


    This.......... You never know who may be waiting in the wings to scoop him up when things go south.
  • TamaraGraceS
    TamaraGraceS Posts: 273 Member
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    Marriage is hard work. BUT a good marriage is even harder!
  • momma3sweetgirls
    momma3sweetgirls Posts: 743 Member
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    Open communication. BEFORE you get married. I think a lot of people go into a marriage with unrealistic expectations that are never discussed BEFORE the wedding. Money, family, children, work, friends...those are the big ones. The little things matter too.

    My pre-marital counselling at our church had a great, eye-opening activity where we stood back to back and the group leader read a list of tasks ranging from, who will take out the trash?, who will get up in the night to feed the baby?, who will clean the bathrooms?, who will be in charge of the home finances?, etc. You raised your hand if you thought it would be you and then turned around to see what your partner thought. Very informative.

    There are lots of books like the following that will give you a place to start your discussions. http://www.amazon.com/1001-Questions-Ask-Before-Married/dp/0071438033

    Good luck!
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,388 Member
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    Flirting and sexting... with your spouse of course. ;)


    *Married 18-years.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    I just got a divorce so been there done that.

    Marriage is a lot of work. The best advice I have ever heard about marriage is it's NOT 50/50. It's 100/100. Meaning, you both have to put 100% into it each and every single day.
    Sometimes the romance won't be so intense but that's when your committment comes into play.
    Always love selflessly, never do anything because you're expecting something in return.

    I learned from my mistakes and although in the end, the marriage was ended because of his unfaithfulness and lack of remorse, I know I didn't give my 100% all the time. I definately loved selfishly when I was younger. Learn from others mistakes and listen to wise words.
  • Grlnxtdr0721
    Grlnxtdr0721 Posts: 597 Member
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    -Keep your lines of communication open.
    -Make sure that he knows (and you know) that you are each other's support.
    -Read the 5 Languages of Love (and do the 30 question test at the end) to see which areas you both need to show the other you care.
    -Find an outlet...This is important so that you both have a stress reliever and a hobby you enjoy- outside from one another.
    -Stay close to your friends because you will need them.
    -Make time for each other- Whether it is once a week, a month....Make sure you're spending time alone together (even when you have kids- we do this on a weekend night- even if it is just watching a movie together after our son is in bed)
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
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    Congrats!

    I celebrate my 5th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks!

    Here's my advice: BOTH of you read "Love & Respect" - The Love She Most Desires. The Respect He Desperately Needs. by Dr. Emerson Eggriches. From cover to cover. And you both need to pray for each other and for yourselves. No marriage is complete and healthy without having God as the leader of it.

    Yeah thats been evidant by every single christian I know being divorced some multiple times,and my athiest marriage going strong. My marriage is very compleat and very healthy no god needed. :huh:
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 795 Member
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    Congrats!! :flowerforyou:


    Look up Mark Gungor on YouTube. Watch. Pay attention. He's right. :smile:


    Read "The Five Love Languages." It's an excellent book.



    In a nutshell, men want to be respected and women want to be cherished. And in general, men are more likely to do the cherishing part if they feel like they are respected.


    Always be willing to be the first one to apologize and the first one to forgive - not necessarily because you did something wrong, but because your marriage is more important than whatever it is you were disagreeing about.


    Never, ever, EVER complain about your husband on Facebook. It is disrespectful to him, dishonoring to your marriage, and will drive your friends crazy.


    TELL him what you want. He will not be able to figure it out. It's just something you need to realize and accept and learn to work with. LOL


    Support him in his career where you can. Be nice to his boss. Show up with brownies from time to time. Don't complain when he legitimately has a meeting or needs to work late. Greet him with a smile and warm up his supper if he's late. It sounds a little 50's, but it really does make a huge difference - would you rather come through the door to a cold supper and a colder shoulder, or a hug and a warm meal?


    Two final things....

    1 - Think about how you would or would not want to be treated, and turn that around
    2 - This one comes from being a military wife, but in this life there are guarantees. Always say, "I love you" and see him off with a kiss. If you're mad in the morning and freeze him out because you were wronged somehow, will being "right" still be worth it if he doesn't make it home?
  • leabea052502
    leabea052502 Posts: 2
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    Something my mom told me, and helps me when times are tough is this: if I had known how hard it would be to be on my own, I would have tried harder. This is saying a lot because my dad was an addict.
    My personal advice is marriage is not 50/50... ever. It is ALWAYS 100/100. you cant only put in 50% effort. You will fail. Its all in or all out. If you are all in, all the way, then you will be able to live with divorce never being an option because neither person will ever stop trying if you have the all in, 100/100 policy. I'm 29 and have been with my husband 13 years, married 10 in may.
  • Kristy0728
    Kristy0728 Posts: 63
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    My husbands Grandma told us "Never go to bed angry. Always make up before you fall asleep." VERY TRUE!

    Talk, a lot. About everything, all the stupid stuff, the really important things, and the little things you think don't matter, too.

    Compromise. Neither one of you will be right all the time, its finding a balance that you both can live with that matters.

    Congratulations! :)
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    For the last 10 years, Separate houses. We get along great, now. :laugh:

    hehe ... in all seriousness, separate bathrooms and separate closets!!
  • LMMAG
    LMMAG Posts: 1
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    Maintain a healthy sense of humour
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Learn what actions communicate love to your husband and do those. There's a book called the Five Love Languages. I'd say read it. IT's an easy read, and it helps make sense of a confusing idea. My love language, as it were, is Acts of Service. Actually, it is neck and neck with Gifts. It's easy for me to feel loved and appreciated when someone does something for me or gives me a gift. My husband doesn't care about gifts and he doesn't see any real sacrifice in my DOING something for him. His love language is Physical Touch (shocker) and he is also keen on Quality Time. So, if I keep buying him things to be loving, he's going to get frustrated. If he keeps pawing at me to express love, I'll get frustrated. BUT, when I initiate physical touch or carve out some special time for just us. . .it keeps him happy for days. And, give me a gift or fold the laundry, and I'm happy for days.

    It's an extension of the idea of communicating. Only, in this case, you are not using words, but actions to communicate. And, I agree that keeping Christ at the center of a marriage is key, too!!

    Best Wishes!

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