Sticking a knife in my eye, what are your thoughts?

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  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    i'm against it

    Clearly your some sort of moron who probably believes those quack theories about calories in vs. calories out. You will never be successful. I hate "junk" science.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    I heard that in Asia they do it with a chopstick. It's more efficient and not as painful. Plus you get to play with the eye on a stick after. Apparently girls like that a lot.

    I think girls only find it hot if the eye is tattooed. Well, if it's a male eye. Only *kitten* get tattoos on their eyes!
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    No knife or spoon. Use a spork. And twine.

    And for gosh sakes don't eat back your eyeball calories.

    Damn, now I want a Nachos Bell Grande.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    You're doing it wrong. Don't you read anything? There are 9 zillion topics on this. You should read them before coming to post anything.

    I can't read. I am going to report you for making fun of illiterate people. I hope you get banned from the forums.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    Besides fitting it into your calories.. make sure you log it as cardio.. at least make it worth it so you can have a bigger piece of pie next time.

    Do I also log the calories I burn when cleaning the blood off my face??????
  • iKristine
    iKristine Posts: 288 Member
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    Funny%2BEyes%2B%25283%2529.jpg

    Catch it if you can. :bigsmile:
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    So stupid....you'd just be losing water weight. Are you here to make a life change or for a quick fix?

    I don't understand the question.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    No you should absolutely NOT stick a knife in your eye. I once stuck a knife in my eye and I can tell you now not just based on my own personal experience, but that there are thousands of studies out there - none of which I will link to - that show that sticking a knife in your eye is FAR less effective than sticking a knife in your thigh. I've also worked as a knifer for 6 months and have a Certification of Stabbiness, so you can take what I am saying to the bank.

    I completely disagree with this based on obvious conclusions of this has NEVER happened in my 3 week experience, limited to this thread, and of course Google and sites followed by DOT biz.

    What I think you should really consider is the basics. Did you need your eye in the first place? Was it really THAT distracting? Your fat because you ate lots of little fat people. Just stop eating the little fat people!


    http://www.wikia.com/Wikia
    Sources: or it didn't happen.

    Damn. You are right. I will eat skinny people henceforth.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    Look people, all this advice on eye stabbing needs to be backed up with scientific formulas and charts and doo-dads. I am a certified Eye Stabbing Fitness Trainer at Poke-an-Eye-Out Fitness Center in Nova Scotia and here is the formula for caloric daily intake while one is in the process of stabbing out one's eyeball:

    Calculate 4.23235 x Diameter of the cornea + (1 1/2 - area of the retina) divided by the square root of the population of Texas

    This will provide you with the accurate caloric intake WHILE stabbing one's eye out, leaving you with an accurate deficit and thus a safe and healthy weightloss of approximately 12 pounds per week.

    Always eat back those exercise calories WHILE stabbing out an eyeball, and wear proper shoes.

    What if a large family moved to Texas while I am stabbing my eye? That is going to ruin everything.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    Yes, the shoes ... can't forget the shoes. That would be a huge mistake ... could you imagine if you had the wrong shoes! Oh, what an embarrassment! LOL LOL LOL LOL ... some people just don't understand fitness *sigh* ...
    Look people, all this advice on eye stabbing needs to be backed up with scientific formulas and charts and doo-dads. I am a certified Eye Stabbing Fitness Trainer at Poke-an-Eye-Out Fitness Center in Nova Scotia and here is the formula for caloric daily intake while one is in the process of stabbing out one's eyeball:

    Calculate 4.23235 x Diameter of the cornea + (1 1/2 - area of the retina) divided by the square root of the population of Texas

    This will provide you with the accurate caloric intake WHILE stabbing one's eye out, leaving you with an accurate deficit and thus a safe and healthy weightloss of approximately 12 pounds per week.

    Always eat back those exercise calories WHILE stabbing out an eyeball, and wear proper shoes.

    I was going to wear stilettos so in case the knife doesn't work I have another stabbing option. Other than that I plan on being naked because I weigh less when I don't have clothes on.
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    Donut stab you"re eye you would not don't want too loose any more wait !
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    This has got to be the funniest spit I have read in a while. Laughing burns calories so...I thank you all!!!

    I think this post clearly indicates that I am responsible for everyone's weight loss that read this thread so I am going to post a NSV thread celebrating my achievement.
  • birdsmom1
    birdsmom1 Posts: 31
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    In that case, feel free to quote me!! I'll be checking back in tomorrow to see how the eye is healing (or how it tasted?)
    Thanks again for the 'work out'!
  • Labcoathipster
    Labcoathipster Posts: 171
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    Obligatory "ha ha ha" post.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    14m8lro.jpg

    I did it and look how skinny my arms are now!!
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    In that case, feel free to quote me!! I'll be checking back in tomorrow to see how the eye is healing (or how it tasted?)
    Thanks again for the 'work out'!

    I sprinkled some Sensa on the eye so I got too full to eat it all. Tasted like chicken though.
  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,263 Member
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    You do realise that the Lord God His Majesty Jeezuz H Christ gave you those eyes, what you do to yourself you do to him?

    If you want to spend a lifetime in Hades with Bankers, Realtors, and back to back episodes of Little House on the Prairie, you go right ahead.
  • TonyL68
    TonyL68 Posts: 133 Member
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    No you should absolutely NOT stick a knife in your eye. I once stuck a knife in my eye and I can tell you now not just based on my own personal experience, but that there are thousands of studies out there - none of which I will link to - that show that sticking a knife in your eye is FAR less effective than sticking a knife in your thigh. I've also worked as a knifer for 6 months and have a Certification of Stabbiness, so you can take what I am saying to the bank.

    I like this guy.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    It's your journey hon, and every body's different. I say absolutely go for it and don't let any of these haters tell you any different.

    This. You know your body better than any of us.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    Your fat because you ate lots of little fat people. Just stop eating the little fat people!

    Finally somoeone who will tell it like it is! You preach it sister!

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