Sticking a knife in my eye, what are your thoughts?

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  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Stab heavy.
  • PSGPolly
    PSGPolly Posts: 868 Member
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    I think this is the BEST thread on MFP! I have been feeling so low and reading this was just what the doctor ordered....going off to find a plastic and stainless steel knife to experiment. :noway:
  • myak623
    myak623 Posts: 616 Member
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    You should do it at the gym. Make a loud war cry during the stabbing and then slam the knife down. Then, look around to make sure everyone noticed.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    You do realise that the Lord God His Majesty Jeezuz H Christ gave you those eyes, what you do to yourself you do to him?

    If you want to spend a lifetime in Hades with Bankers, Realtors, and back to back episodes of Little House on the Prairie, you go right ahead.

    When I get to Hades should I wear sunscreen? I have been thinking about taking up tanning and I was wondering what everyone thinks about that.
  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
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    Do not use a knife! Dr. Oz is selling a supplement guaranteed to dissolve your eyes and melt away all that weight. There's much less blood to clean up this way.
  • rebecca_florida
    rebecca_florida Posts: 184 Member
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    14m8lro.jpg

    I did it and look how skinny my arms are now!!

    :drinker: Salud! To my first LOL of the day!
  • PinkEarthMama
    PinkEarthMama Posts: 987 Member
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    Did you get results? If so, i'd like to refer people to you about your awesome weight loss journey and what worked for you. Do you plan on selling the miracle knife? I'd like to buy one.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    Knives are so last week, I bought a special attachment for my vacuum cleaner from Planet Fitness.

    Guaranteed to clear all residue (maximum 3 uses), which means I can eat all the free pizza I want.
  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
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    No you should absolutely NOT stick a knife in your eye. I once stuck a knife in my eye and I can tell you now not just based on my own personal experience, but that there are thousands of studies out there - none of which I will link to - that show that sticking a knife in your eye is FAR less effective than sticking a knife in your thigh. I've also worked as a knifer for 6 months and have a Certification of Stabbiness, so you can take what I am saying to the bank.

    ^^ HA - You have the best posts! :drinker:
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    Wait wait wait.... why are we jumping to conclusions here? Why do we have to push our own agendas into the conversation without considering context? What *kind* of knife is it?
  • Myslissa
    Myslissa Posts: 760 Member
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    Disinfect it first.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    Disinfect it first.

    I was going to use amonia b/c I figure if it's good enough for the beef in our fast food burgers it's good enough for my eye!
  • original_cake_face
    original_cake_face Posts: 131 Member
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    I didn't read anything anyone else said, but I think sticking a knife in your eye is a horrible idea. I'm pretty sure it's full of carbs. There's reports on this, but I'm too lazy to find them.
  • Myslissa
    Myslissa Posts: 760 Member
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    Disinfect it first.

    I was going to use amonia b/c I figure if it's good enough for the beef in our fast food burgers it's good enough for my eye!

    Awesome...just be safe about it and dont mix it with bleach.
  • sarahkatara
    sarahkatara Posts: 826 Member
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    No you should absolutely NOT stick a knife in your eye. I once stuck a knife in my eye and I can tell you now not just based on my own personal experience, but that there are thousands of studies out there - none of which I will link to - that show that sticking a knife in your eye is FAR less effective than sticking a knife in your thigh. I've also worked as a knifer for 6 months and have a Certification of Stabbiness, so you can take what I am saying to the bank.

    I :heart: you! :laugh:

    This is by far the best thread i've seen in a LONG time!
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    I didn't read anything anyone else said, but I think sticking a knife in your eye is a horrible idea. I'm pretty sure it's full of carbs. There's reports on this, but I'm too lazy to find them.

    But aren't they whole grain carbs?
  • karibrit
    karibrit Posts: 29
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    Use an ice cream scooper to do the deed. Preferably one with the little side handle that loosens the ball (aka eyeball) from the metal scoop. That way, it will make that satisfying ‘thwacking’ sound when loosened to fall into the bowl. I presume you will be placing the eye into an bowl after the aforementioned sticking/ scooping scenario? It would be a shame to let just fall onto the floor. And for the record--no, they do not bounce!
  • mom2five69
    mom2five69 Posts: 18 Member
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    This is hilarious!
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
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    This is hilarious!

    Yay!
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    Use an ice cream scooper to do the deed. Preferably one with the little side handle that loosens the ball (aka eyeball) from the metal scoop. That way, it will make that satisfying ‘thwacking’ sound when loosened to fall into the bowl. I presume you will be placing the eye into an bowl after the aforementioned sticking/ scooping scenario? It would be a shame to let just fall onto the floor. And for the record--no, they do not bounce!

    I'm oddly intrigued by the attention to detail your post.

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