LIBIDO!!! how to get one??

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  • tbkelly6
    tbkelly6 Posts: 15
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    Could there be an underlying unaddressed issue? I'm normally the biggest horn dog ever but if my husband has really pissed me off, it's hard for me fire it up. It has to be really bad for me not to want to do him and I just had my fourth child a year ago. My libido is tied to my emotions and to what turns me on. Try something new. Get some sex toys or some new lingerie. Go on a trip without him and see if that shakes things up. Everyone needs space sometimes.

    One very important note is to have your thyroid checked. Most times whenever you are losing weight, your thyroid is working overtime. Your body has adjust to the changes that your weight loss has caused. Hormones, this is also a reason as to why some women lose their libido after childbirth and why weight may seem harder to lose. Most women suffer from hypothyroidism after giving birth and it affects their sex drive greatly. Your age, sleeping habits and lifestyle could be variables that greatly affect your hormones, have your thyroid checked, if you already have not done so.
  • tamheath
    tamheath Posts: 702 Member
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    Add alcohol, subtract self repect.


    This. LOL. I dont know many married couples who only do it on special occasions..even with children...you get it in when you can LOL. I do think that maybe you need to spice it up, may help, go buy some lingerie to show off your new bod and surprise him. Or just do subtle kisses/grabs here and there through the day. I agree he shouldnt have to start it all the time, but you just need to make yourself feel sexy and maybe that will help, if a shot or two will help by all means, do it. Dont have to get drunk.

    True, this! Don't get drunk - all the way. Have 2 shots of Tequila, turn on some rock n roll and get to dancing. Watch it work. Call me in the morning. :love:
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    This is really sad. I am not judging you or your relationship, but if you are not switched on when your SO walks in the room, there's an underlying problem. Love is complicated and some people make trades between different things to have something close to what they want. When looking for a partner in life, you might say to yourself, "he's not super attractive but he's so freaking funny that it makes up for it". Years later, he's still funny, but the sex drives escapes you and you can't figure out why because you forgot about the little deal you made with yourself.

    Again, this is a generalized comment; nothing about you personally. Just saying, maybe dig deeper and see if it's something else. Do not go for the drugs. That's BS. No one needs drugs to switch on their sex drive. Alcohol, on the other hands, can make it fun.
  • ChristineW82
    ChristineW82 Posts: 116 Member
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    Are you currently on any meds? Some medications can cause this.

    Depression can also cause your sex drive to go in either direction.

    Really any major life change can cause your sex drive to go down.
  • floridahoosier58
    floridahoosier58 Posts: 7
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    I have more that I know what to do with, but it takes effort to make things interesting. Have you tried kidnapping him for a night and not telling him where you are taking him just surprise him. Make it fun and different from the norm Who knows you may start some fun and games and add a little spice.
  • nutandbutter
    nutandbutter Posts: 447
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    Are you on birth control? Mine plummeted with depo. I didn't notice at first but it came back as soon as it was out of my system. I've never had a problem with any other type of birth control but they all affect everyone differently.
  • mkayb1
    mkayb1 Posts: 21
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    Yes, I had this problem too... Nuvaring killed it for me. About a month after I switched methods, things started to improve.
  • Emporor_Augustus
    Emporor_Augustus Posts: 32
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    I was suffering from this too, when I first moved in with my (now ex-)boyfriend (breakup unrelated to the sex thing). What I found really worked for me was taking a lot of time apart. Yeah, things can get dull when you see each other a lot so I started just PACKING my days with plans, seeing friends after work, keeping super busy and letting us have our own lives. By the time there was a few quiet moments to spend together I was dying to be in his arms!

    Otherwise, the phase probably should pass. I don't know if there is actually a miracle drug (at least none that I've tried), there are probably a few illicit drugs that would at least make you affectionate... LOL

    Maybe watch some porn together? I know that sounds really blunt but seriously, it always worked for me. Or watch porn by yourself and then go find him :P
  • Lee510
    Lee510 Posts: 46
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    i dont want us 2 years in to be like those cliche married couples who only do it on anniversaires and birthdays!
    You mean there are couples who do it on birthdays and anniversaries?!?! I've been missing out on those days. What the heck, I've been missing out on all the rest of the days of the year, what's 3 more.
  • toniRAD
    toniRAD Posts: 196 Member
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    Question, are you taking any birth control?
    That can definitely cause that feeling!
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

    Take it before it drives me crazy.

    Ah, same here.

    But, the 30 Day Shred did good things for me. I'm not sure what it was, but right after I got done with it, I wanted to get laid. Possibly TMI? Ah, oh well.
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
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    This is really sad. I am not judging you or your relationship, but if you are not switched on when your SO walks in the room, there's an underlying problem. Love is complicated and some people make trades between different things to have something close to what they want. When looking for a partner in life, you might say to yourself, "he's not super attractive but he's so freaking funny that it makes up for it". Years later, he's still funny, but the sex drives escapes you and you can't figure out why because you forgot about the little deal you made with yourself.

    Again, this is a generalized comment; nothing about you personally. Just saying, maybe dig deeper and see if it's something else. Do not go for the drugs. That's BS. No one needs drugs to switch on their sex drive. Alcohol, on the other hands, can make it fun.

    Not true, really. Low libido is something many women experience despite enjoying sex with their partner. It is hormonal... not physical.
  • sarahgilmore
    sarahgilmore Posts: 572 Member
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    Eat more!
  • truecaligirl
    truecaligirl Posts: 132 Member
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    You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

    Take it before it drives me crazy.



    Im on the same boat!
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

    Take it before it drives me crazy.



    Im on the same boat!

    Solution: The three of us need to fornicate with each other. XD
  • sarahgilmore
    sarahgilmore Posts: 572 Member
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    Oh, also, if you want to want it, but just can't quite get things ramped up enough for it to work, try some porn or erotic literature.
  • bcc112986
    bcc112986 Posts: 362 Member
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    Read a few articles online. It seems like Vitex (Chaste Tree Berry) may be a worthwhile try.

    "Vitex is one of the only natural substances which balances both estrogen and progesterone levels. Many herbalists have noticed that 20% to 30% of the women using Vitex report an increase in sexual desire."

    Good luck ladies.

    BC :)
  • bear_nakey
    bear_nakey Posts: 367 Member
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    You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

    Take it before it drives me crazy.

    *sigh* ditto sista. . . I'm feelin' your pain. . . :(
  • Jennyisbusy
    Jennyisbusy Posts: 1,294 Member
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    You are very brave to post this! Just because a dip in libido is normal (and it is) doesn't mean that you have to like it or just wait around hoping it comes back.

    There are many reasons that your libido may be on vacation, and you may need help beyond MFP :)

    Most things that are good for getting your body healthy will be good for your libido as well. You need lots of water and good solid nutrition for ALL parts of your body to work properly. I have recently found that increasing my calories has added a boost to my own.

    Sometimes you need to up the level of freakiness to keep things hot, break away from the routine, read naughty stories, get a new toy or a positions book...

    Last thought - you need to spend quality time together. Who wants to have sex with the person you have only seen for half an hour and discussed bills and cleaned the table with this week??? Not me!

    Good luck!!
  • widmar
    widmar Posts: 72
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    I take Maca supplement. It comes in powder or pill form. It is a natural herb from the health food store. Of course check with your doc to make sure it will not react wit any meds you may be taking. This is a common thing with women. I love my husband and he is 9 yrs younger. He is Very attractive to me. I had to do something to help me out because I didn't feel like initiating anything. Maca helps. Take it daily and it will build up in your system. It helps me. Hope it will help you. You are doing everything else right! Good luck.

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