LIBIDO!!! how to get one??

breezad
breezad Posts: 237 Member
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
i love my boyfriend and i never used to be lacking in this area but seems i have been for about the last 12 months!

i think he is attractive, sure he could loose a little weight and get more toned but thats not the issue at all. he know wat he is doing and makes me feel amazing, so why dont i want it???

i like sex and everything leading into it so there is no reason as to why i shouldnt be wanting it. i think about it and i think about us doing stuff but i just cant literally make the move. fine once it starts but my bf isnt going to start it all the time and he wants me to take control for awhile and i jsut cant get motivated.
i exercise daily and i eat right most of the time so i thoguht those things would help!
i know moving in with eachother it slows down abit cause you see eachother everyday and stuf like that, but i dont want us 2 years in to be like those cliche married couples who only do it on anniversaires and birthdays!

aghhhh doctor says women just go through that and dont have hormones like males. but how do i get some!!
i mean i want this fixed asap! i want a quick fix of drugs or something that will spur my sex drive out of the roof!!!!

anyone know of anything that has worked, remedies, meds, herbs, watever it may be????
(im in australia so meds might be hard to get but im open to finding out)

thanks, weird topic i know just dont know who else to ask.
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Replies

  • Sl1ghtly
    Sl1ghtly Posts: 855 Member
    Add alcohol, subtract self repect.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    If you find anything that works let me know. I am in the same boat. We had a baby within the last year though, I guess it's common for women to lose interest after having a baby.
  • breezad
    breezad Posts: 237 Member
    i fall asleep if im drunk.

    i serious though.. surely someone has been through this and conqured it???
    or has a massive sex drive and how they keep it?
  • angelasmith230
    angelasmith230 Posts: 70 Member
    I am going through this same thing!

    But I have been with my husband since i was 19 (11 years) and i heard it naturally happens when you are with someone for a long time.

    That and just not feeling good about myself in general due to the weight gain over the years.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

    Take it before it drives me crazy.
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
    Ditto here too! I am thinking it is because I am focusing on myself so much that this isn't an issue for me as much right now. Not to mention I am just past 40....EVERYTHING changes!!!!!....YIKES!...LOL
  • Guitarjon
    Guitarjon Posts: 204 Member
    I think my other half has a low Libido. The problem is... Mine seems to raise when I'm exercising and loosing weight. Bit frustrating but I love her so just going to have to put up with it.
  • Fat4Fuel2
    Fat4Fuel2 Posts: 280 Member
    He wants you to make a move? Take your clothes off. You just made it that much more easy for him. and remember, you're sexy and you know it
  • paeli
    paeli Posts: 295 Member
    Sorry, I can't help but I just wanted to say I have been suffering from the same thing. And it honestly started around the same time as when I started losing weight. I did start a new birth control 3-4 months before this, but I really didn't notice my low libido until I started losing weight :(
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    When I was 27lb heavier and not doing anything about it I was depressed, had a low self-esteem and even when my other half was telling me how beautiful and sexy I was, I couldn't see it. Our sex life died, and then the relationship.

    Now that I'm working on myself, getting healthier and (as a by product) thinner, I feel amazing. I feel strong and in control and ready to flaunt my new confidence.

    Unfortunately the only man I want is halfway accross the world, but that just gives me more time to get EVEN MORE confidence!

    Do you often meet your goal calories? Do you take progress pictures? Do you work out so hard you get that huge island of sweat on your shirt and beam with pride? Have you tried some cheeky texting while your other half is at work? "I just finished my workout, I'm DRIPPING.... Going to go get nice and scrubbed down in the shower.... Maybe tonight you can scrub my back for me?" It's cheesy but it's FUN, and I think FUN is what is missing from our sex lives when it all gets too serious!

    Try to feel more proud of yourself for the changes you're making! It WILL make you happier and sexier.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    I think about the fact I may die tomorrow... LOL. That makes me wanna "get some" now. Haha. Seriously, when you think about how short life is... well, maybe I'm just a weirdo. But that gets me going.
  • jimsuzy
    jimsuzy Posts: 20 Member
    Lol, incredibly true!
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    Add alcohol, subtract self repect.

    ^
  • Dtho5159
    Dtho5159 Posts: 1,054 Member
    Id love to share some of mine!! I drive my husband nuts!! We have been together since I was 18, nearly 10 years and he said Im just as big a horndog as I was back then and ive had 2 kids also, which most of my friends lost theirs during and after pregnancy.. He wants mine to find a new home lol
  • lilojoke
    lilojoke Posts: 427 Member
    Add in some macs... www.macasure.com have tried it and its awesome
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    I actually wish for this problem. The last guy told me I was "going to wear him out". :blushing:

    We could trade?
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
    Get a hot boyfriend with a big...heart.
  • bellevie23
    bellevie23 Posts: 208 Member
    Add alcohol, subtract self repect.


    This. LOL. I dont know many married couples who only do it on special occasions..even with children...you get it in when you can LOL. I do think that maybe you need to spice it up, may help, go buy some lingerie to show off your new bod and surprise him. Or just do subtle kisses/grabs here and there through the day. I agree he shouldnt have to start it all the time, but you just need to make yourself feel sexy and maybe that will help, if a shot or two will help by all means, do it. Dont have to get drunk.
  • rjo921
    rjo921 Posts: 130
    I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband was put on testosterone and his levels are through the roof. Mine are non-existent....I mean, less than nothing. I am seeing my PCP on Friday to discuss this issue....because things need to change. I thought for a woman that her 40's were supposed to be her peak.....I'm still waiting....
  • FORKDOWN
    FORKDOWN Posts: 1,754
    Your an awesome Girlfreind for caring this much. Wish I had an answer for ya.
  • tbkelly6
    tbkelly6 Posts: 15
    Could there be an underlying unaddressed issue? I'm normally the biggest horn dog ever but if my husband has really pissed me off, it's hard for me fire it up. It has to be really bad for me not to want to do him and I just had my fourth child a year ago. My libido is tied to my emotions and to what turns me on. Try something new. Get some sex toys or some new lingerie. Go on a trip without him and see if that shakes things up. Everyone needs space sometimes.

    One very important note is to have your thyroid checked. Most times whenever you are losing weight, your thyroid is working overtime. Your body has adjust to the changes that your weight loss has caused. Hormones, this is also a reason as to why some women lose their libido after childbirth and why weight may seem harder to lose. Most women suffer from hypothyroidism after giving birth and it affects their sex drive greatly. Your age, sleeping habits and lifestyle could be variables that greatly affect your hormones, have your thyroid checked, if you already have not done so.
  • tamheath
    tamheath Posts: 702 Member
    Add alcohol, subtract self repect.


    This. LOL. I dont know many married couples who only do it on special occasions..even with children...you get it in when you can LOL. I do think that maybe you need to spice it up, may help, go buy some lingerie to show off your new bod and surprise him. Or just do subtle kisses/grabs here and there through the day. I agree he shouldnt have to start it all the time, but you just need to make yourself feel sexy and maybe that will help, if a shot or two will help by all means, do it. Dont have to get drunk.

    True, this! Don't get drunk - all the way. Have 2 shots of Tequila, turn on some rock n roll and get to dancing. Watch it work. Call me in the morning. :love:
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    This is really sad. I am not judging you or your relationship, but if you are not switched on when your SO walks in the room, there's an underlying problem. Love is complicated and some people make trades between different things to have something close to what they want. When looking for a partner in life, you might say to yourself, "he's not super attractive but he's so freaking funny that it makes up for it". Years later, he's still funny, but the sex drives escapes you and you can't figure out why because you forgot about the little deal you made with yourself.

    Again, this is a generalized comment; nothing about you personally. Just saying, maybe dig deeper and see if it's something else. Do not go for the drugs. That's BS. No one needs drugs to switch on their sex drive. Alcohol, on the other hands, can make it fun.
  • ChristineW82
    ChristineW82 Posts: 116 Member
    Are you currently on any meds? Some medications can cause this.

    Depression can also cause your sex drive to go in either direction.

    Really any major life change can cause your sex drive to go down.
  • floridahoosier58
    floridahoosier58 Posts: 7
    I have more that I know what to do with, but it takes effort to make things interesting. Have you tried kidnapping him for a night and not telling him where you are taking him just surprise him. Make it fun and different from the norm Who knows you may start some fun and games and add a little spice.
  • nutandbutter
    nutandbutter Posts: 447
    Are you on birth control? Mine plummeted with depo. I didn't notice at first but it came back as soon as it was out of my system. I've never had a problem with any other type of birth control but they all affect everyone differently.
  • mkayb1
    mkayb1 Posts: 21
    Yes, I had this problem too... Nuvaring killed it for me. About a month after I switched methods, things started to improve.
  • Emporor_Augustus
    Emporor_Augustus Posts: 32
    I was suffering from this too, when I first moved in with my (now ex-)boyfriend (breakup unrelated to the sex thing). What I found really worked for me was taking a lot of time apart. Yeah, things can get dull when you see each other a lot so I started just PACKING my days with plans, seeing friends after work, keeping super busy and letting us have our own lives. By the time there was a few quiet moments to spend together I was dying to be in his arms!

    Otherwise, the phase probably should pass. I don't know if there is actually a miracle drug (at least none that I've tried), there are probably a few illicit drugs that would at least make you affectionate... LOL

    Maybe watch some porn together? I know that sounds really blunt but seriously, it always worked for me. Or watch porn by yourself and then go find him :P
  • Lee510
    Lee510 Posts: 46
    i dont want us 2 years in to be like those cliche married couples who only do it on anniversaires and birthdays!
    You mean there are couples who do it on birthdays and anniversaries?!?! I've been missing out on those days. What the heck, I've been missing out on all the rest of the days of the year, what's 3 more.
  • toniRAD
    toniRAD Posts: 196 Member
    Question, are you taking any birth control?
    That can definitely cause that feeling!
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