DO ALL MEN!! WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT

I say if he is overly obsessed with you weight.....Do you really need or want them in your life.

Egh. Very hard for me to say. I met and married my spouse when I was a 12 and 160 pounds. 2 kids, fertility treatments and a hell of a lot of exercise I am a size 12 and 184 pounds. I look better now then when we married. However my spouse is very turned off by weight gain and pregnancy. He was not when we met, because guess what people change.


I hate how people always say if your spouse or s/o treats you badly its your fault. Way to blame the victim. You can meet a guy and he can be a great person, for years even. Then throw marriage, children, a lot of living experience and stress into the mix and guess what. Not everyone is same.

You're only a victim if you let yourself be one. It's dating/relationships. They're voluntary at all times. If you're with someone who isn't being good to you, you should work to fix it or leave them.

Crazy advice I know. It's much healthier to maintain the relationship and ***** about it on the internet.

I am not a victim nor will I ever be. Nor did I say my spouse was an abusive **** either. Way to project.

What I am saying is that is not wonderful and easy to be in a tough or abusive relationship, nor is it easy at all to get out of one. Most abused women are victims and the abuser slowly but surely makes it extremely hard for them to leave. Family is cut off first, then finances and is some cases the family is moved long distances away from help. Then once the victim has left then they are in the most danger. Those women do not need more guilt and pressure put on them because they weren't strong enough to leave the instant things went bad.


People change. That is fact. You can date or marry a great person and they are not the same 10 years down the road. I honestly think a lot of guys that fuss and ***** that women date only ******* well guys there is a reason you are single. And that reason is you not them.

Only if its crushing my pelvic bone! sorry bad joke

My husband and I both gained weight while together (going on 8 years now) and I worry every day if what we look like is affecting us. I know I don't feel attractive which is my problem. He hasn't treated me any different except not really supporting me when I need it. But hes improving on it!!! I tend to nitpick so he gets frustrated.

From my point of view it's both ways but we have to help each other, not put one another down. Our partners are supposed to make us want to be the best we can be.

You're only a victim if you let yourself be one. It's dating/relationships. They're voluntary at all times. If you're with someone who isn't being good to you, you should work to fix it or leave them.

Crazy advice I know. It's much healthier to maintain the relationship and ***** about it on the internet.

I am not a victim nor will I ever be. Nor did I say my spouse was an abusive **** either. Way to project.

What I am saying is that is not wonderful and easy to be in a tough or abusive relationship, nor is it easy at all to get out of one. Most abused women are victims and the abuser slowly but surely makes it extremely hard for them to leave. Family is cut off first, then finances and is some cases the family is moved long distances away from help. Then once the victim has left then they are in the most danger. Those women do not need more guilt and pressure put on them because they weren't strong enough to leave the instant things went bad.


People change. That is fact. You can date or marry a great person and they are not the same 10 years down the road. I honestly think a lot of guys that fuss and ***** that women date only ******* well guys there is a reason you are single. And that reason is you not them.

I seriously think there is a huge difference between "My guy treats me like **** because my weight changed." and "My guy beats me nearly to death and I'm too scared to leave." You're jumping to extremes, and it is pointless. And though people do change, and maybe your guy wasn't like this before, but it is YOUR fault it hasn't changed. Complaining on the internet isn't going to change the fact you're with a jerk, only YOU can.

How you are treated is the direct result of the quality of man you choose.

No. How you are treated is the direct result of the [/b]WAY YOU TREAT YOURSELF.[/b] I was really surprised to see so many jump on the "dump the *kitten*" train as if increased weight doesn't bring any other changes along with it.

I'd go so far as to say most women who gain a significant amount of weight also experience some level of change in the way they interact with people. When I was in my early twenties I was party girl extraordinaire & I don't recall feeling self-conscious about anything, ever. At my highest weight (>300) I was introverted, antisocial, insecure, & I hated myself. What kind of guy would want a skinny person who was introverted, antisocial, insecure, & hated herself? So is weight REALLY the issue?

No one will treat us better than we treat ourselves. If we put on weight & don't feel good about ourselves, we can't expect men in particular & people in general to treat us as if we're happy, confident & secure.

*steps off soapbox*

Also, this, so much.

Yuck! Walk away forever if this happens to you. Anyone who would treat you poorly for gaining weight is not the person who has your back!!! What if something worse than gaining some weight happened?!! There are tons of great people out there men & women, just dig a little deeper for a connection. You need someone who loves YOU not your body!!

I'm one of the lucky ones whose hubby loves me no matter what my size or shape. I'm not doing this for him - I'm doing it for me.

He actually prefers me with "a bit of meat" on me and at my slimmest I was the smallest woman he'd ever dated by a long shot. Even now I'm not as big as his ex fiance was their entire relationship. Don't get me wrong - he's not a feeder or a chubby chaser either, he just doesn't judge a person by their size, which is rather a relief, to be honest. His way of approaching it is as long as I'M happy, then he's more than happy. He knows I'm not happy with my body and health the way it is so he's happy for me that I'm doing something about it and is being very supportive and encouraging.

Not all men treat their other halves badly if they get bigger. My hubby actually treats me even better than he ever did since I had our son - he was just so amazed by what my body is capable of doing it kind of put him into a state of awe and appreciation, so even though 3 weeks ago I was at my biggest ever, he's never stopped loving me or found me unnattrative or unsexy (at least that's what he tells me, and he certainly seems to have difficulty keeping his hands off me - LOL!).

I seriously think there is a huge difference between "My guy treats me like **** because my weight changed." and "My guy beats me nearly to death and I'm too scared to leave." You're jumping to extremes, and it is pointless. And though people do change, and maybe your guy wasn't like this before, but it is YOUR fault it hasn't changed. Complaining on the internet isn't going to change the fact you're with a jerk, only YOU can.

Seriously why is everyone assuming my spouse is a abusive jerk? All I have said is he does not like pregnancy and weight gain. Just because he does not like something does not make him a horrible person. Your spouse is suppose to love and support you. They do not have to support a crappy lifestyle and terrible eating habits.

I never said your husband was abusive. The only thing about abuse I mentioned was your out of place rant about women stuck in abusive relationships.

I seriously think there is a huge difference between "My guy treats me like **** because my weight changed." and "My guy beats me nearly to death and I'm too scared to leave." You're jumping to extremes, and it is pointless. And though people do change, and maybe your guy wasn't like this before, but it is YOUR fault it hasn't changed. Complaining on the internet isn't going to change the fact you're with a jerk, only YOU can.

Seriously why is everyone assuming my spouse is a abusive jerk? All I have said is he does not like pregnancy and weight gain. Just because he does not like something does not make him a horrible person. Your spouse is suppose to love and support you. They do not have to support a crappy lifestyle and terrible eating habits.

I never said your husband was abusive. The only thing about abuse I mentioned was your out of place rant about women stuck in abusive relationships.

I'm sorry then. I know several women in process of leaving really terrible relationships. The abuse in all cases does include physical and emotional abuse. The womens weight and appearance is often used against her emotionally. It is very hard for me to hear any blame the victim type talk, even concerning not violent abuse and not get really really pissed off and freakishly over protective.

I had a guy who knew me at 180 in highschool and was willing to date me. When I was 230 a couple years later, I "didn't fit his style" and he wouldn't date me. He was ashamed to let me meet his friends.

My husband knew me when I was 12 and 140lbs, 16 and 180lbs, and 19 at 254lbs. He's been with me this whole journey, I'm at 180 now, and he always comments saying "I know you're the sexiest woman in the world, but how do you just keep getting sexier and sexier?" Real men with real love REALLY LOVE you at any size.

My husband is either AWESOME or one HECK of an actor, because he's NEVER mentioned or cared about my weight. I was heavy when we met. Do to some bad behavior and health problems on my part I got heavier. I decided to change my weight. Not him.

Three things...

1. We teach people how to treat us. If someone doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated, it's no longer their call. You leave them where they are, or you deal with them. Understand however, when you choose to continue to deal with them, you revoke your right to complain about the way they treat you.

2. Men chase. Women choose. PEOPLE reveal themselves to us WAY before we get to the point of wanting them to change. Otherwise, we wouldn't want them to change would we? Again, the responsibility is on you. I'm certain if you take the "victim shades" off for a hot second, you'll see that SOMEWHERE along the beginning of your dealings with this or these types of guys, you had an inkling that if you gained weight, he'd be all funky and weird acting. This goes back to number one. WHEN you had that inkling, you CHOSE to continue giving up the goods... so NOW... you CAN'T complain.

3. It sucks that there are these types of men out there. But if women would stop begging for their approval and acceptance, they wouldn't think they're so entitled to our self esteem. He's a douche. No doubt about it. But HE'S not on an internet forum upset about the way he behaves. You are.

BTW... not an attack. Just my opinion.

Oh.. so to answer the question "DO ALL MEN..." --- no. no all men don't.

My husband is either AWESOME or one HECK of an actor, because he's NEVER mentioned or cared about my weight. I was heavy when we met. Do to some bad behavior and health problems on my part I got heavier. I decided to change my weight. Not him.

Three things...

1. We teach people how to treat us. If someone doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated, it's no longer their call. You leave them where they are, or you deal with them. Understand however, when you choose to continue to deal with them, you revoke your right to complain about the way they treat you.

2. Men chase. Women choose. PEOPLE reveal themselves to us WAY before we get to the point of wanting them to change. Otherwise, we wouldn't want them to change would we? Again, the responsibility is on you. I'm certain if you take the "victim shades" off for a hot second, you'll see that SOMEWHERE along the beginning of your dealings with this or these types of guys, you had an inkling that if you gained weight, he'd be all funky and weird acting. This goes back to number one. WHEN you had that inkling, you CHOSE to continue giving up the goods... so NOW... you CAN'T complain.

3. It sucks that there are these types of men out there. But if women would stop begging for their approval and acceptance, they wouldn't think they're so entitled to our self esteem. He's a douche. No doubt about it. But HE'S not on an internet forum upset about the way he behaves. You are.

BTW... not an attack. Just my opinion.

Completely agree with this. My mom has told me that you teach people how to treat you since I was a little girl, and I have always tried to live by that. And it doesn't just apply to being treated like garbage; if your man treats you like a queen, a little bit of appreciation and positive reinforcement will guarantee that he continues to do so.

I also agree that people reveal their true character early on. You can't tell me that it takes 10 years to figure out that your husband is a jerk who only married you because he thought you were hot at the time. He didn't start out loving you unconditionally and then wake up one day and go "Oh, she's ugly, and I don't love her anymore." There had to be something in his demeanor and behavior toward you that should have clued you in to the fact that he was an *kitten*. If you didn't see it, it's because you didn't want to see it.

Okay so I guess my husband is a jerk because he does not want me to be obese and has told me so. When I was at my heaviest 8 months after my youngest son was born he did tell me one evening that he loves me and wasnt going anywhere but to put it kindly I was no longer physically attractive to him and that he finds it extremely frustrating that he cannot tell me this without being a labled a jerk. My husband is kind of an *kitten*, but he is my *kitten* and I deal with him. However, I do understand that he could be frustrated with that.

Now when I met my husband he weighed 200 lbs and he is 6'2" he wasn't lean or buff but certainly not terribley out of shape either well two kids and nine years later we have both put on some weight. I have gained about 15 lbs. I find it kind of funny though that a few months ago we were having this argument and he insinuated that I weighed (for whatever reason) 240 lbs. I just looked at him and said "I don't weigh 240 lbs you are being rediculous but I do I know someone that does weigh 240 and it isn't me". Well about 2 months later he goes to the Dr. and guess what he weighs 237. He is now all about heathier easting and we now have a family memebership at the gym...