body image issues with boy children

Speaking from a different perspective, when I was growing up my mum always made the healthy choices for myself and my sister.

By no means was/is our family a beacon of perfection, but I can honestly say that we had the best start in life. We had treats of course - in our packed lunches we could choose a bag of chips OR a small chocolate biscuit - never both. We had one treat a day, a healthy breakfast, lots of fruit and veg and a balanced meal at night. Food was never an issue because my mum made sure that our diet was balanced.

So many parents use food as a bribe these days - or a reward but they don't realise they're ingraining that into their childrens perceptions of food and healthy eating.

I think you're doing absolutely the right thing. Whilst I can honestly say we never discussed calories or things at home (probably because my parents weren't aware of them haha) I think it's good your sons are showing an interest in their diet and health. It's good to hear this, as I worry so much about children these days being overweight not from a body image perspective, but a health and longevity perspective.

Good on ya!

Boys get eating disorders and have body image issues. Not saying that what you are doing will cause those tings, but yes it is possible.

Sure, if they're already predisposed to that (eating disorders are not just social issues) and if she's telling them on a regular basis on fat & disgusting they are. BUT she's made it a point to say she tells them how wonderful they are and how much she loves them DAILY. She's just worried about her obsession rubbing off badly.

OP- Are you're boys asking if you love them? If you think they're fat? If they disgust you? Or are they asking honest, health centered questions? Those should be your concern.
Sounds to me like you're raising fabulous little boys that will (someday) be amazing, FIT, HEALTHY men. Good for you!

Id like to add, my son told me yesterday he was choosing to eat lighter he does count his calories 2200...because he was allowed to eat fun food on his birthday...I go just make sure you are eating enough calories it is important to still grow. He goes dont worry mom, im not going to not eat i like food too much. lol I am just choosing to eat better for my body. I like all the "healthy" foods (he puts his fingers in quotations. lol He says hes not concerned about his body he likes himself. Goes I am a good person I try to be a good person all the time...lol My friends like me, and when I am older if I am still "paunchy" because of genetics then god will send me the right woman for me so it wont be a problem lol. My point is he has a healthy view of himself. Just have a sitdown and talk to your kids and find out how they view themselves.

This is not the first thread I've seen with parents worried because their kids are taking an interest in what they eat. I don't see that you're worried because your skinny kid looks in the mirror to examine himself for fatness or talks about being too fat/ugly/weak! I see that you're worried because your kid takes an active interest in nutrition! I would be proud instead of worried. Love the cottage cheese question!!! He's wanting to know why you made that choice to know if it's a choice he should make--that's a WAY GOOD thing! There is no way most people can live in this society without understanding something of calories vs nutrition! We're no longer out on the farm eating beans and onions for about every meal like my mother grew up doing. There are Ding Dongs on every corner and no societal norm that says not to get one (and a Coke) every time you get gas or a newspaper. The problems kids have with body image are partly just how people are--to a degree everyone (if they're normal) feels that they don't quite measure up, but mostly because of mean-spirited or just ignorant people trying to change behavior through shame and manipulation rather than by teaching and training. I have five kids, the youngest is 16. We live 'out' and have livestock and so my kids grew up knowing that what goes in is a big part of health. We talked a lot about getting out and doing things being good for people as well as aging horses. My kids know that health is what you do, and sometimes just what happens in spite of what you do, it's not part of what makes you worthwhile.
Also, I think it's important that we look for what is really true about our selves and our situations. I am overweight, to the high end of 'normal' now, but have been obese more than I'd like to admit. I don't have a problem saying I'm fat when I am--I'm also in debt and I talk too much (as if you hadn't figured THAT one out by now). Beating myself up over my weak areas is not productive--but neither is denying that I have weak areas. Another poster talks about 'balance' and I agree, and want to add 'tone' and 'value'. Speak the truth in love, to yourself and others. And YOU don't value body image over things of consequence, like character, integrity, work ethic and love--and your kids will be more likely to value the things of value also.

I think maybe my verbiage in my original post is what set off the "smh" comment(s) I tend to speak dramatically...I said I am "highly obsessed with my figure" when really I meant" I am very conscious of my figure". Who knows!?!?

you are correct!

I think you're doing right by them by keeping the family's lifestyle healthy. Growing up, my family ate junk food and fast food and all of us were overweight to some degree. I have 2 kids now, a boy and a girl, and I want them to be healthy and fit from the get-go and not have to worry about needing to lose weight. There's nothing wrong with helping your kids understand what a healthy diet and exercise regimen looks like!

Keep up the good work, mama!

I think it's great that your kids understand nutrition, calories, and portion size. As long as they aren't worried that about how they look, it shouldn't be a huge issue. That said, tone down the talk of calories and up the talk of nutrition. 11 years old is a bit young for them to be so obsessed that they carry on conversations with adults about it...

ditto this ^^^ ... well said