Kids Are Weird
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My son is 6 and currently going through a gross phase... where it is funny to burp and fart and the worst is... he won't wipe his butt when he goes #2. I have to constantly remind him or check on him when he is in the bathroom. Boys can be so gross.
Oh my 6 year old too! He has been wiping his own bum for about 2 years now. For the last few months he calls me to the bathroom MOM...MOM.....MA' AH MMMMMM" COME WIPE MY BUTT" I always tell him you know how to wipe your own bum and he tells me "I know but Mom I like how you wipe my butt, you do it the best"
Oh and the farting thing both my boys and their father think it is the funniest thing in the world. I don't think they ever grow out of that or playing with their willies...0 -
I wish there was a "like" button on these boards, lol, I would be using them like crazy!
When I was 6 1/2, my mom was pregnant with my little brother. She says she told my dad her water had broken, and I ran in the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and hollered back in there "The water's not broken in here!" hahahaha0 -
my son was with me on a dr's appointment. The dr. asked me if I was sexually active. Thinking my son wasn't paying attention (he was playing video games or something) I said "yes."
Then my son started shouting "MOM!!! YOU'RE HAVING SEX AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!??!"
...yeah. That really happened.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
My kids are 8 and 12 now so they have gotten in the habit of setting me up to say stupid things just for a laugh. I play along.
Generally though, I am constantly telling the 12 yo to pull her drawers up. She's a twig and even a belt doesn't seem to help.0 -
my "older" girl LOUDLY farted in public and giggled histerically for several minutes about it .. I asked her "thats not very lady like.. what do you say when you pass gass?" her response was "ahhhhhhhh that feels MUCH better?" .. how do you respond to that LOL0
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I'm always at my friends house and her children make me laugh hysterically. These are some everyday experiences that occur:
- "Are you wearing underwear?"
- "Stop playing with your penis!"
- "Dont punch your uncle in the nards (testicles)!"
- "Stop playing with your nipples!"
- "Don't rub your butt on him!"
- Her youngest says 'C-o-c-k it out" instead of "CUT"
- "Stop farting on his leg!"
The list can go on. LOVE THEM ALL DEARLY and these will be funny stories on their wedding days!0 -
Bump0
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my "older" girl LOUDLY farted in public and giggled histerically for several minutes about it .. I asked her "thats not very lady like.. what do you say when you pass gass?" her response was "ahhhhhhhh that feels MUCH better?" .. how do you respond to that LOL
I'd go with, "Well done, you."0 -
There is this song by Sophie B. Hawkins called "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover." When my nephew was 2 he used to sing it as "Bam I worship your Mother." I still sing it like that to this day.0
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When my daughter was about 3 (now 20) she used to say cockporn for popcorn ,the looks we used to get when out shopping and she would ask for cockpop very loudly .
My oldest son when he was about 6 (now 32) used to play with his rocket (as he called it) always on a Friday night ,I told his wife about it a couple of months ago I have never heard anyone laugh so hysterically for so long :laugh:0 -
"Seriously....stop calling your brother a pimp!" After I said it I thought... hmmm things I thought I'd never say as a parent!!0
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Not my kid, but there was a huge talk to my little cousin who, around the age of 2, stuck bath crayons (I think they allowed you to write on the bathtub or wall, something like that) up her butt and her poop the next day looked like a Unicorn massacre. She eventually wasn't allowed any crayons until like the age of 5 because she never learned her lesson.
I think the weirdest thing my mom had to ever tell me was to not eat cat food.0 -
as for my own son, when he was 6, we were in the drive thru at Burger King.
He says to me, Mama, I've been thinking and thinking and I think I figured out where babies come from.
"Welcome to Burger KIng! May I take your order?"
uhh..hang on just a minute ma'am.
No problem.
To son : where?
"You know those ball thingies under the doodle (penis) ? "
Yes, I said leery....
"When you get married, you give one to your wife, she eats it and that's the egg that grows in the tummy right??"
Burger King Lady: "Ready when you are."
This cracked me up!! I had to share it with my husband. We got a good giggle out of this one!0 -
Bumping for later.0
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Cute!! Kids are great! Don't have any myself, but have many nieces and nephews.
One time while babysitting my nephew who was 4 at the time, I made chili which gave us both gas. When his parents came home, he told them about his bath, the land before time, and our "fart party" (his words). That was a bit embarrassing.
Another time, he was about 3 then, I hear the toilet flush and the new evil kitty we got dashes out all wet. I ask him what he did and why, and he very sadly and morosely, voice quivering, admitted, "she scwatch me, so I put it in the toilet." Guess he'd had enough of that hellcats antics!0 -
My daughter has accused me of farting in a store on more than one ocassion. "MOM. I know you tooted.. now.. STOP IT"
She is 4 going on 15.
Ohhh, this is so my 4 year old! She blames me all the time and tries to talk me into believing that it was me.
This weekend while at the grocery, she asked when we could leave because she was going to "pull Carsen's pants down and make her fart forever. FAAAARRRRT FORRRRREEEVVERRRR!!!" (Carsen being her little sister.) This was NOT a big store and that little voice goes a long way.
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bump! This is awesome, I am going to check back later when I need a good laugh!0
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these are so funny to read
brightens up a dull night lol 0 -
We have twins.
I think the weirdest thing to come out of my mouth is "Adam, stop licking Andy's aura!!"
I have reams of stories. I really do (they are 24 years old now)0 -
as for my own son, when he was 6, we were in the drive thru at Burger King.
He says to me, Mama, I've been thinking and thinking and I think I figured out where babies come from.
"Welcome to Burger KIng! May I take your order?"
uhh..hang on just a minute ma'am.
No problem.
To son : where?
"You know those ball thingies under the doodle (penis) ? "
Yes, I said leery....
"When you get married, you give one to your wife, she eats it and that's the egg that grows in the tummy right??"
Burger King Lady: "Ready when you are."
Hahahahaha!!!! Thank you for posting this 0 -
"A kangaroo is not licking your hand" (said a zillion times in response to the same nightmare my daughter used to have).0
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Dear Son,
"It's not 'peanuts.' It's penis."
"Your eyes do not make you look like a girl."
"A 45-minute long song about a superhero killing a gigantic robot will probably not make it on Broadway, even though the way you act it all out is quite entertaining."0 -
I can't breath! :laugh:0
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oh my goodness. I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying!0
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bumppp0
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Not lying, this is a true story of my English teacher
But her son did not talk till he was 5, and while they were taking a walk at the park he said to her
"In a past life, I used to walk on the sun."
O.O
He went on to be a happy, healthy kid after that. lolol0 -
"A kangaroo is not licking your hand" (said a zillion times in response to the same nightmare my daughter used to have).
Interesting children you have.0 -
My oldest is 5 years old... a few months ago I was telling him he needed to pick his toys up and put them away. His response "I can't mom... My hands are too small!" Not too sure how he put those two together,but it was mightly clever!
I think this is by far the best thread I have read...laughing sooo hard! :laugh: Thanks to everyone for sharing!0 -
this is a cute and funny tread...i dont know if it is the strangest but here it goes
My 5 year old daughter lifts up her shirt to show her ni**les and tummy..what comes out of my mouth is lots of things but i tend to say put your shirt down...also my daughter gives kisses like a dog (which she just licks you like a dog) and i just say kiss me like a human...0 -
I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old.
"Stop kissing each other with your mouth open"
"There are no elephants in your bed anymore"
"Never put hot dogs up your nose ever again"
"For the last time, stop putting your finger in your butt hole"
And my 2 year old has a dirty sense of humor. Her favorite joke is:
"Knock knock! Who's there? Bubba has POO on his BUTT!"
Bubba is her little brother's nickname.
She also calls my step mom Grandpa, no matter what we tell her.0
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