LIBIDO!!! how to get one??

124

Replies

  • Laura_Ivy
    Laura_Ivy Posts: 555 Member
    I know it's from the POV of the opposite sex, but with an ex I got to the point I just wasn't interested.

    Same sort of thing - it was awesome when we did, but basically it sort of just boiled down to laziness in a way.

    I got past it though, by basically just making the decision I wasn't going to be passive about it any more.

    For me, it sort of dwindled off a bit, as it does naturally - most people aren't going to be at it 4 times a night and again in the morning every time they see each other forever...lol

    But as it dwindled, it slowly became longer and longer between times until it became almost awkward? to start anything.

    I then decided I wasn't going to let it go down like that - as I say once we did, it was good, it was just getting started - so I forced myself to make the effort, pretty much nightly, until I forced myself to realise how it wasn't actually an effort. It became a regular part of our relationship again and honestly it was back like being in the honeymoon phase again.

    Moral of the story - just do it.

    ^^This!

    The more you do it. the more you realize you want/need it to be connected with your partner. In the beginning the effort might be forced but it will become effortless a couple weeks into it. Hugs....after having 2 kids and many ups and downs I can completely undertstand. :)
  • janeshopster
    janeshopster Posts: 8
    I think libido decreases as you age... just my POV
  • CHRISTCENTERED
    CHRISTCENTERED Posts: 33 Member
    LOL!
  • canroadrunner
    canroadrunner Posts: 203 Member
    These work - I think you can get them off Amazon.

    http://www.vitamart.ca/lorna-vanderhaeghe-sexsmart.html

    if not, ask your doc for a testosterone patch.
  • amysj303
    amysj303 Posts: 5,086 Member
    Going off the pill and getting the IUD did wonders for me!
  • TheYankeeBelle
    TheYankeeBelle Posts: 37
    I know it's from the POV of the opposite sex, but with an ex I got to the point I just wasn't interested.

    Same sort of thing - it was awesome when we did, but basically it sort of just boiled down to laziness in a way.

    I got past it though, by basically just making the decision I wasn't going to be passive about it any more.

    For me, it sort of dwindled off a bit, as it does naturally - most people aren't going to be at it 4 times a night and again in the morning every time they see each other forever...lol

    But as it dwindled, it slowly became longer and longer between times until it became almost awkward? to start anything.

    I then decided I wasn't going to let it go down like that - as I say once we did, it was good, it was just getting started - so I forced myself to make the effort, pretty much nightly, until I forced myself to realise how it wasn't actually an effort. It became a regular part of our relationship again and honestly it was back like being in the honeymoon phase again.

    Moral of the story - just do it.

    ^^This!

    The more you do it. the more you realize you want/need it to be connected with your partner. In the beginning the effort might be forced but it will become effortless a couple weeks into it. Hugs....after having 2 kids and many ups and downs I can completely undertstand. :)

    ^^^Yup. this. just do it. kind of like working out...at first you loathe it, then you look forward to it and now I get cranky if I miss a day! oh...and porn. seriously.
  • lilojoke
    lilojoke Posts: 427 Member
    Build muscle!
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    Having the opposite problem. Darn long distance relationship! *dies*
  • HolleeERL
    HolleeERL Posts: 313 Member
    Just puttin in my two cents: Stess will kill sex drive and so can B/C. I've been Mirena and it completely killed my sex drive - I dreaded sex. I have switched B/C and I'm not so psycho and the sex drive is better, but not as good as it used to be. Kids can wear you out, too (I have two young children and I stay home with them). I have also noticed it has decreased with age (I'm 42) but again, I think it is a hormonal imbalace at work here. I still find my husband very attractive and we get along great. I don't even like pleasuring myself anymore so I know it's not him. :o)
  • mab33
    mab33 Posts: 242 Member
    Have the same problem. I think my main issue is self esteem. It's in the pits. And I used to have an uncontrollable sex drive. Don't know what's wrong. I'm supposed to want it now that I'm hitting the big 3-0 but nothing. Let me know if you figure it out!
  • HolleeERL
    HolleeERL Posts: 313 Member
    Going off the pill and getting the IUD did wonders for me!

    I was just the Opposite! But I had a friend who was the same as you.
  • sjackson1717
    sjackson1717 Posts: 94 Member
    I think Birth control has alot to do with it. Just speaking from my own experiences with several different kinds of Birth Control. I had side effects from every singel BC with sex drive being affected most of the time...not taking any BC now and I find that I am the aggressor most of the time lately.
  • running_mom
    running_mom Posts: 204 Member
    I was with my ex for 13 years. I felt the same way. By the time I came home from work, cooked, cleaned and took care of the kids I was exhausted. I wanted it like no ones business but I was too tired to initiate anything. I blamed hime for not helping out and he blamed me for not starting it.

    I liked the fact he wanted me and came after me. Looking back I know he wanted to feel the same way. I should have initiated it more. But, hind sight is 20/20!

    I would try anything and everything. Talk to him, switch B/C, workout more, plan better. What do you have to lose?
  • bellanoelle
    bellanoelle Posts: 105 Member
    Read the book "50 shades of Grey". Very interesting.
  • sjackson1717
    sjackson1717 Posts: 94 Member
    Try almond milk instead....so Yummy. My fav is Dark Chocolate!
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Simply put....Break out of your routine. It's become expected and boring to yourself.
  • MOS3
    MOS3 Posts: 134 Member
    This topic reminds me of a quote in a film I saw yesterday - The Exotic Marigold Hotel" - when the man was talking about sex and says "well nowadays it's more theory than practice". Made me chuckle.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    The more you do it, the more you want it.

    So, my advice is just talk yourself into it. start with once a week, or something that you're comfortable with. "Make" yourself do it. Get yourself looking all hot, tell him what you need to feel sexy (dinner out, dancing, massage, whatever!) and just do it!!!
  • y353
    y353 Posts: 50 Member
    Pfff. I wish I could pass to others.

    My girl/friend lives 1000km from my city. I'm always at edge.. since 16 hahah

    I know! Try some long distance! It drive you crazy!
  • whitneyann0
    whitneyann0 Posts: 327 Member
    I wish I had some advice for you!!

    I'm the complete opposite. I can't get enough of it!
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Having the opposite problem. Darn long distance relationship! *dies*

    This!
  • SkrillexFan
    SkrillexFan Posts: 42
    Honestly, I don't think this is a health issue at all. Many people just have naturally low libidos, and honestly I wish we can trade because I'd go all day if I could and most of my previous partners found that to be an issue.
  • adamb83
    adamb83 Posts: 719 Member
    Wish I could help... I want it all the time. Like twice a day.

    But I'm also a dude.

    Maybe you're tired/exhausted/stressed? Maybe you're "in a rut," as they say? Have you thought about taking some time out to go someplace new - go on an adventure, do something exciting that maybe you've both wanted to do and see if that exhiliration transfers to the bedroom?
  • whitneyann0
    whitneyann0 Posts: 327 Member
    Wish I could help... I want it all the time. Like twice a day.

    But I'm also a dude.

    Maybe you're tired/exhausted/stressed? Maybe you're "in a rut," as they say? Have you thought about taking some time out to go someplace new - go on an adventure, do something exciting that maybe you've both wanted to do and see if that exhiliration transfers to the bedroom?

    Lol.... well I am not a dude... and I want it like 5 times a day. :blushing:
  • WishfulShrinking331
    WishfulShrinking331 Posts: 244 Member
    I am in the same boat =[
  • janeshopster
    janeshopster Posts: 8
    This worked on me:

    http://www.thesoslab.com/scentuelle-products.asp

    I don't know if its placebo, but I get a wonderful feeling when I'm on the patch. It's safe and non-invasive too.
  • northfresh
    northfresh Posts: 111
    Add in some macs... www.macasure.com have tried it and its awesome

    Seriously though, try maca. I was using it for endurance, and I found the side effect to be a bit frisky... lol
  • Phoenix59
    Phoenix59 Posts: 364 Member
    I think libido decreases as you age... just my POV

    Not necessarily! I'm in my early 50's and my libido, while always on the high side, has increased! I think having more time alone with my hubby and not wearing myself out with household chores gave me even more energy. If it were up to me it would be a nightly activity, but hubby works long hours. :ohwell:
  • Crazy4Healthy
    Crazy4Healthy Posts: 626 Member
    Id love to share some of mine!! I drive my husband nuts!! We have been together since I was 18, nearly 10 years and he said Im just as big a horndog as I was back then and ive had 2 kids also, which most of my friends lost theirs during and after pregnancy.. He wants mine to find a new home lol

    ^ Ditto!! Starting to think maybe it's the opposites attract thing. :) There will always be one half that is not in synch.

    In response to the poster... there are lots of things for men, not sure what they have for women, but I know there is stuff out there. Just be careful, got my husband to take some things and I didn't like the way it changed his personality. Loved the libido, but decided I liked his old personality more. LOL
  • janeshopster
    janeshopster Posts: 8
    Good for you! I'm worn out with my kids so that's one of my problems. Also, having some issues with hormonal imbalance.
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