Kids Are Weird

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  • jenna_scott
    jenna_scott Posts: 56 Member
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    My son is 6 and currently going through a gross phase... where it is funny to burp and fart and the worst is... he won't wipe his butt when he goes #2. I have to constantly remind him or check on him when he is in the bathroom. Boys can be so gross.

    Oh my 6 year old too! He has been wiping his own bum for about 2 years now. For the last few months he calls me to the bathroom MOM...MOM.....MA' AH MMMMMM" COME WIPE MY BUTT" I always tell him you know how to wipe your own bum and he tells me "I know but Mom I like how you wipe my butt, you do it the best"

    Oh and the farting thing both my boys and their father think it is the funniest thing in the world. I don't think they ever grow out of that or playing with their willies...
  • IdRatherBeReading
    IdRatherBeReading Posts: 96 Member
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    I wish there was a "like" button on these boards, lol, I would be using them like crazy!

    When I was 6 1/2, my mom was pregnant with my little brother. She says she told my dad her water had broken, and I ran in the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and hollered back in there "The water's not broken in here!" hahahaha
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    my son was with me on a dr's appointment. The dr. asked me if I was sexually active. Thinking my son wasn't paying attention (he was playing video games or something) I said "yes."

    Then my son started shouting "MOM!!! YOU'RE HAVING SEX AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!??!"

    ...yeah. That really happened.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    My kids are 8 and 12 now so they have gotten in the habit of setting me up to say stupid things just for a laugh. I play along.

    Generally though, I am constantly telling the 12 yo to pull her drawers up. She's a twig and even a belt doesn't seem to help.
  • darkknightfan
    darkknightfan Posts: 396 Member
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    my "older" girl LOUDLY farted in public and giggled histerically for several minutes about it .. I asked her "thats not very lady like.. what do you say when you pass gass?" her response was "ahhhhhhhh that feels MUCH better?" .. how do you respond to that LOL
  • Mely1268
    Mely1268 Posts: 21
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    I'm always at my friends house and her children make me laugh hysterically. These are some everyday experiences that occur:

    - "Are you wearing underwear?"
    - "Stop playing with your penis!"
    - "Dont punch your uncle in the nards (testicles)!"
    - "Stop playing with your nipples!"
    - "Don't rub your butt on him!"
    - Her youngest says 'C-o-c-k it out" instead of "CUT"
    - "Stop farting on his leg!"

    The list can go on. LOVE THEM ALL DEARLY and these will be funny stories on their wedding days!
  • Mely1268
    Mely1268 Posts: 21
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    Bump
  • MissO﹠A
    MissO﹠A Posts: 906 Member
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    my "older" girl LOUDLY farted in public and giggled histerically for several minutes about it .. I asked her "thats not very lady like.. what do you say when you pass gass?" her response was "ahhhhhhhh that feels MUCH better?" .. how do you respond to that LOL

    I'd go with, "Well done, you."
  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
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    There is this song by Sophie B. Hawkins called "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover." When my nephew was 2 he used to sing it as "Bam I worship your Mother." I still sing it like that to this day.
  • misslolachobble
    misslolachobble Posts: 23
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    When my daughter was about 3 (now 20) she used to say cockporn for popcorn ,the looks we used to get when out shopping and she would ask for cockpop very loudly .

    My oldest son when he was about 6 (now 32) used to play with his rocket (as he called it) always on a Friday night ,I told his wife about it a couple of months ago I have never heard anyone laugh so hysterically for so long :laugh:
  • emalay
    emalay Posts: 159 Member
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    "Seriously....stop calling your brother a pimp!" After I said it I thought... hmmm things I thought I'd never say as a parent!!
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    Not my kid, but there was a huge talk to my little cousin who, around the age of 2, stuck bath crayons (I think they allowed you to write on the bathtub or wall, something like that) up her butt and her poop the next day looked like a Unicorn massacre. She eventually wasn't allowed any crayons until like the age of 5 because she never learned her lesson.

    I think the weirdest thing my mom had to ever tell me was to not eat cat food.
  • Meatsies
    Meatsies Posts: 351 Member
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    as for my own son, when he was 6, we were in the drive thru at Burger King.

    He says to me, Mama, I've been thinking and thinking and I think I figured out where babies come from.

    "Welcome to Burger KIng! May I take your order?"

    uhh..hang on just a minute ma'am.

    No problem.

    To son : where?

    "You know those ball thingies under the doodle (penis) ? "

    Yes, I said leery....

    "When you get married, you give one to your wife, she eats it and that's the egg that grows in the tummy right??"

    Burger King Lady: "Ready when you are."

    This cracked me up!! I had to share it with my husband. We got a good giggle out of this one!
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
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    Bumping for later.
  • ayamagali
    ayamagali Posts: 167 Member
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    Cute!! Kids are great! Don't have any myself, but have many nieces and nephews.
    One time while babysitting my nephew who was 4 at the time, I made chili which gave us both gas. When his parents came home, he told them about his bath, the land before time, and our "fart party" (his words). That was a bit embarrassing.
    Another time, he was about 3 then, I hear the toilet flush and the new evil kitty we got dashes out all wet. I ask him what he did and why, and he very sadly and morosely, voice quivering, admitted, "she scwatch me, so I put it in the toilet." Guess he'd had enough of that hellcats antics!
  • mbw2586
    mbw2586 Posts: 88
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    My daughter has accused me of farting in a store on more than one ocassion. "MOM. I know you tooted.. now.. STOP IT"
    She is 4 going on 15.

    Ohhh, this is so my 4 year old! She blames me all the time and tries to talk me into believing that it was me.

    This weekend while at the grocery, she asked when we could leave because she was going to "pull Carsen's pants down and make her fart forever. FAAAARRRRT FORRRRREEEVVERRRR!!!" (Carsen being her little sister.) This was NOT a big store and that little voice goes a long way. :/
  • plzlbsbegone
    plzlbsbegone Posts: 233
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    bump! This is awesome, I am going to check back later when I need a good laugh!
  • MandyMarie01
    MandyMarie01 Posts: 448 Member
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    these are so funny to read :) brightens up a dull night lol
  • raevynn
    raevynn Posts: 666 Member
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    We have twins.

    I think the weirdest thing to come out of my mouth is "Adam, stop licking Andy's aura!!"

    I have reams of stories. I really do (they are 24 years old now)
  • mbw2586
    mbw2586 Posts: 88
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    as for my own son, when he was 6, we were in the drive thru at Burger King.

    He says to me, Mama, I've been thinking and thinking and I think I figured out where babies come from.

    "Welcome to Burger KIng! May I take your order?"

    uhh..hang on just a minute ma'am.

    No problem.

    To son : where?

    "You know those ball thingies under the doodle (penis) ? "

    Yes, I said leery....

    "When you get married, you give one to your wife, she eats it and that's the egg that grows in the tummy right??"

    Burger King Lady: "Ready when you are."

    Hahahahaha!!!! Thank you for posting this :)

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