Girls. . we need guidance. .

Cameron_1969
Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
We want you . . constantly.. . .but you don't.. (not constantly).. .we try candles (lame) we try dinner (oh. . . he's just hoping to get lucky). . we try flowers (he knows he screwed up). . we try cleaning the house! . . . ok. . .we don't do that very often. . but the point is. . we try! and mostly. it's to make you love us. . not just to make you scr*w us. . . we like you ..and we want you to like us too. . why do you find it so hard to hook us up with some appreciation. ... an acknowledgement and a hug will do. We work hard for you...
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Replies

  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
    Id like to help you out with an answer but my husband does none of those things. He doesn't even make his own dentist appointments.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    Id like to help you out with an answer but my husband does none of those things. He doesn't even make his own dentist appointments.

    Well.. .he loves you right? I have a 5 year old kid.. . sometimes you just have to train them. . lol
  • dawnkykong
    dawnkykong Posts: 64 Member
    My husband doesn't get me flowers (as much as I'd like) or light candles for me...but he's amazing and I tell him often. Maybe you just haven't found the right girl?
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    So keen to find the find the right girl, 29 this year, not freaking out but very keen.

    Seems like you can do all the right things sometimes but they won't always be the right things for that person. Or sometimes they are just an unappreciative b&tch lol.

    One day...... Sigh :)
  • blueeyedcristi
    blueeyedcristi Posts: 304 Member
    I didn't know flowers still existed.
  • kissy28wv
    kissy28wv Posts: 74
    My husband has never bought me a live flower but he did buy me new lug nuts for my tires.
  • cohophysh
    cohophysh Posts: 288
    OMG, we are pathetic...
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    I actually don't like getting cut flowers. lol. I've told my husband this - so he gets me chocolates or potted flowers instead. We go out to dinner a lot, he takes our son to spend time with so that I can have time to myself. He helps me cook dinner often and always does the dishes afterwards. He works his *kitten* off every day and sometimes even into the night doing what I would consider a very demanding job so that I don't have to. He gives me money every week, just to spend on myself. He tells me I'm beautiful every day, among other wonderful things that I never get tired of hearing. He's more than generous in all aspects of our relationship. He's just all around amazing and everything I could ever want in a partner. :happy: I definitely try my best to show my appreciation for him every day and to give what I get back to him. I'm a very lucky woman. :heart:

    If your partner can't recognize the things you do for him / her to show your love, there's a problem somewhere! I think it's important those affections and actions go both ways.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I personally have never been the lovey dovey person. If I care for you, if I let you sleep at my place, if I call you my woman, if I work hard to provide for you, if I take care of YOUR kids and try to become a good male figure in their lives, thats my way of saying I love you.

    Also, while we at it, please, do not think I'm afraid of commitment or responsibility. I'm a responsible person and that is exactly why I dont jump into labeling the relationship or having kids. I have to think of the future as a man. How am I going to feed the kids? What kind of a parent would I be? How can I bring this child in this F'd up world? Can I handle the responsibility of having a daughter who might endup having big time daddy issues? Would my son make the same mistakes as I did when I was a kid? These questions drive me crazy and THATS my reason to not want kids.

    Edit: yes I know my post didnt made alot of sense. Just try to understand that we are trying our best for the family and sometimes that might keep us from being the romantic person :)
  • grizzlymaze
    grizzlymaze Posts: 185 Member
    Try doing the love dare. If there is/was love, than eventually it will break through. My wife has an unending love and forgivness for me, and I am in the middle of recovery from a very hard addiction. This has been a rough road, but the light is at the end of the tunnel. I know it is because I know that in the end she will still be there and I will have conquered this thing we call sin. I hope that someday your lady will see the good that you have done. Just don't stop what you are doing.
  • dawnkykong
    dawnkykong Posts: 64 Member
    I actually don't like getting cut flowers. lol. I've told my husband this - so he gets me chocolates or potted flowers instead. We go out to dinner a lot, he takes our son to spend time with so that I can have time to myself. He helps me cook dinner often and always does the dishes afterwards. He works his *kitten* off every day and sometimes even into the night doing what I would consider a very demanding job so that I don't have to. He gives me money every week, just to spend on myself. He tells me I'm beautiful every day, among other wonderful things that I never get tired of hearing. He's more than generous in all aspects of our relationship. He's just all around amazing and everything I could ever want in a partner. :happy: I definitely try my best to show my appreciation for him every day and to give what I get back to him. I'm a very lucky woman. :heart:

    If your partner can't recognize the things you do for him / her to show your love, there's a problem somewhere! I think it's important those affections and actions go both ways.

    Pretty much how mine is and how I feel.:)

    You should def try and find someone who appreciates you... And if after 10 years of being with that person, they still give you butterflies, you've got a winner. I say 10 years because that's how long we've been together, hope that one day I can say 20/30/50..... Good luck to you.
  • kissy28wv
    kissy28wv Posts: 74
    That was my point.:smile: ...He never brings me flowers but shows he cares in a more subtle way. Its actually more romantic to see the boy in him. :flowerforyou:
  • AliciaBeth78
    AliciaBeth78 Posts: 437 Member
    We want you . . constantly.. . .but you don't.. (not constantly).. .we try candles (lame) we try dinner (oh. . . he's just hoping to get lucky). . we try flowers (he knows he screwed up). . we try cleaning the house! . . . ok. . .we don't do that very often. . but the point is. . we try! and mostly. it's to make you love us. . not just to make you scr*w us. . . we like you ..and we want you to like us too. . why do you find it so hard to hook us up with some appreciation. ... an acknowledgement and a hug will do. We work hard for you...

    I think you should work on cleaning the house more :)
  • You sound lonely and unappreciated in your past. You haven't met the right woman yet or you wouldn't be asking those questions. Its a sad fact that we are a throw away society and demand instant gratification. But, a true relationship lasts and only through perserverence, dedication, commitment and connection. There is someone out there for you that will offer all those wonderful things and accept the gifts you mentioned wholeheartedly. All things, I'm sure you are deserving of. Just look beyond the superficial to find her.
  • Carnivorekat
    Carnivorekat Posts: 370 Member
    not all women think you are just trying to sc**w them when you are romantic, maybe you are trying to impress the wrong girls. Most women that I know like their men to try and show some romance in whatever way they want - but it is also wise to listen to the woman to find out the right thing they would like
  • MsFitnFabulous
    MsFitnFabulous Posts: 432 Member
    So keen to find the find the right girl, 29 this year, not freaking out but very keen.

    Seems like you can do all the right things sometimes but they won't always be the right things for that person. Or sometimes they are just an unappreciative b&tch lol.

    One day...... Sigh :)


    Haha I just turned 32 with no prospects so I feel your pain. I personally like the "little" things like watching a movie we both like together. Those cute texts that say I'm thinking about you. Food is also great (maybe I shouldn't own up to that on mfp). Long walks where we can either talk or just enjoy the comfortable silence. If all else fails take a couple masseuse classes and melt her into submission lol!!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    i just spent $100+ on lingerie and bought chocolates for my bf ^_^ last time i went to his house, i hid cookies for him to find <3

    i also bought a bunch of foods i think he will like and spent the day practicing how to make various meals for him (since I only use a rice cooker to make food with, I have to practice to make sure things come out right ex today i practiced making a tuna melt, egg salad sandwich, bacon/eggs/toast and i have sauerkraut and sausage/thai green curry soup and peanut chicken satay to try out next time).

    anyway, we've only been dating around one month so far, but our first date he gave me a box of chocolates, and our last date he gave me a box of chocolates (although i forgot it...) and took me to hot springs and a lot of fun places such as the beach, sushi, petting zoo etc. he texts me really sweet msgs throughout the day, and i try and reciprocate.

    my bf is sweet, and i try and be sweet back. i think u just have to find the right person...or maybe practice pleasing a woman more during sex~that way she'll be happy if you want to have sex.

    Good luck!
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
    My hubs worked a third last night (12 am to 8 am) so I left him a little note in his cooler and a mini chocolate bar to let him know I love him and appreciate him. In return he brought me home 2 bouquets, one of daisies, one of lillys (my fave!) and also a box of Lucky Charms ('cause I like the marshmallows), a bottle of V8 peach mango juice, and bacon! ^.^ He's such a sweetheart. And I know he didn't do it to "get some" either.

    Sometimes, ladies, if you want all those nice things, perhaps YOU should be the one to surprise HIM with something. It can't always fall on him.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    We want you . . constantly.. . .but you don't.. (not constantly).. .we try candles (lame) we try dinner (oh. . . he's just hoping to get lucky). . we try flowers (he knows he screwed up). . we try cleaning the house! . . . ok. . .we don't do that very often. . but the point is. . we try! and mostly. it's to make you love us. . not just to make you scr*w us. . . we like you ..and we want you to like us too. . why do you find it so hard to hook us up with some appreciation. ... an acknowledgement and a hug will do. We work hard for you...
    First of all, speaking to women as a collective unit makes me bristle. If your partner is not appreciative of you, that is a relationship problem. Don't blame women for that!
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,385 Member
    But do you listen to her and laugh at her lame jokes?

    … or maybe that’s just me. ;)
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Lots of women like sex.
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
    We want you . . constantly.. . .but you don't.. (not constantly).. .we try candles (lame) we try dinner (oh. . . he's just hoping to get lucky). . we try flowers (he knows he screwed up). . we try cleaning the house! . . . ok. . .we don't do that very often. . but the point is. . we try! and mostly. it's to make you love us. . not just to make you scr*w us. . . we like you ..and we want you to like us too. . why do you find it so hard to hook us up with some appreciation. ... an acknowledgement and a hug will do. We work hard for you...

    I think you should work on cleaning the house more :)

    LOL
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
    Well your significant other is lucky, but I agree that all women are not unappreciative, just as all men don't work hard like you do. The most my husband ever does is unload the dishwasher maybe once a month. Trust me, I notice it, and he gets a half dozen thank yous with some kisses. If he -really- tried, that'd be a different story...
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    Um. What are flowers?
  • acs4162
    acs4162 Posts: 99 Member
    ha!
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    Aw that's a shame. Most women would kill for a fella like that. My partner does all those things and I really really appreciate it, he knows it too. Maybe you need a good chat to see if she's happy...
  • acs4162
    acs4162 Posts: 99 Member
    I have a great, wonderful husband. But, there have been times when i didn't show him or tell him I appreciated him enough (and vice versa.) I think that you have to be happy with yourself in order to tell someone else that they make you happy. Some people just aren't very considerate people. Sometimes it takes you asking, "Did you like the flowers/candles/massage?" "Is there something I could do for you to really show you how much I Love/Like/Care about/ Appreciate you?" That statement alone will let her know that you care about her and that you're trying. What also works is telling the other person what you like and opening a dialogue for them to tell you what matters to them in terms of showing you care. Sometimes it's an action (cleaning the house, washing her car, picking up the kids), sometimes it's a material object (flowers, a new kitchen gadget, etc.) But in the end, if nothing you're doing is getting her attention or making her happy, you may not be the issue. Maybe try NOT doing anything for her and then seeing if she notices? I have taken my wonderful husband for granted several times before and when he stops doing nice things for me, I notice and remember to stop being so self-centered and to participate in the relationship.
  • zinok
    zinok Posts: 185
    I'd just like to say I find this offensive.
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1.5 years now and have been happily living together since the 1 year mark. We both do things for one another and maintain our apartment evenly. I verbalize how much I love and appreciate him every day, and he does the same. More than that, we show it with our actions.
    Just because your current girlfriend does not appreciate you does not mean that you can project that on all women. Every relationship prior to my current I have been the under appreciated partner with boys who never acknowledged the great lengths I'd go for them. Boys who didn't do any of the things you described, despite me going above and beyond. And you know what? I realized it was my own god damn fault for letting them take me for granted. So I got out and found myself a partner who was willing to meet me half way.
    My point? A lot of people suck. Male and female. You have no right to stereotype women in this way, or men for that matter! Change your attitude and maybe you'll find a woman who will appreciate you.
  • reharvrun
    reharvrun Posts: 31
    I didn't know flowers still existed.


    lol!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I am not a very romantic person, so flowers and candles don't do much for me, but yes I think it would be great if women were a bit more appreciative of the effort some men put forth to make them feel special.
    It would also be nice if more men took the time out to learn what it is that makes the woman he's with (or wants to be with) feel special instead of just assuming that all women want flowers, chocolate, and candlelight.

    That being said, if you made me steak, broccoli, and a baked potato, that's all the romance I need. Seriously - you don't even have to provide a fork. :happy:
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