Girls. . we need guidance. .

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  • new2locs
    new2locs Posts: 271 Member
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    We want you . . constantly.. . .but you don't.. (not constantly).. .we try candles (lame) we try dinner (oh. . . he's just hoping to get lucky). . we try flowers (he knows he screwed up). . we try cleaning the house! . . . ok. . .we don't do that very often. . but the point is. . we try! and mostly. it's to make you love us. . not just to make you scr*w us. . . we like you ..and we want you to like us too. . why do you find it so hard to hook us up with some appreciation. ... an acknowledgement and a hug will do. We work hard for you...
    If I wasn't married I'd date you! My husband does none of that!
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    it's so nice to live alone and not have to worry about these things. Really it is.

    I clean my own house.
    I do my own dishes.
    If I need something, I take care of it.

    I agree with the below that sex should not be currency. I think most people don't need to be in relationships because they don't even know how to treat themselves right, let alone another person.
  • beccci91
    beccci91 Posts: 214
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    Exactly what are flowers??

    Although my boyfriend sometimes runs a bath for me as a surprise after a hard day at uni or work, lights some candles and puts rose petals all over the floor and our bed <3 ahhh I love him so much x
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    Um what are flowers, candle light, a house I didn't clean, or a phone call made for one's self. My husband has it pretty damned easy I do it all and don't get the kind words back. I notice any little thing he does and say thanks because I don't know when he will put up a roll of TP again. I would love to appreciate the little, feel wanted and all that jazz.....who would like to train mine?

    1. men are not dogs. You don't "train" them.
    2. have you tried talking to him about it? There have been times where my fiance has been unappreciative or vice versa. A lot of the time they (or we) don't even realize it's happening.
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 767 Member
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    stop trying so hard.......be a good dad, a great man, a good provider........and most importantly JUST BE YOU!

    Be independent and have your own thoughts...dont be needey...or whiney EVER!
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    My other half does all those things for me... but she's a woman.

    Well sounds like you've found the right one <3 lucky you!
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    Good grief, people. He wasn't stereotyping. He was generalizing. If all the women he's ever been with were unappreciative, he has no reason no to generalize. Stop acting all holier-than-thou and give the guy a friggin' break. He was just trying to make a point.

    Well put. I swear sometimes on this site people look for a reason to be offended.
  • mamato3babies
    mamato3babies Posts: 73 Member
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    I would be happy if my husband would not come home with a attitude everyday! He also blames everything on my daughter (9 yrs old) even if it is one of OUR other 2 children's fault! Being plain hateful and saying rude / hurtful comments all the time just makes our relationship that much more rocky! He has no patients and horrible anger issues... Also he's never wrong in his eyes! "OKAY, I'M DONE VENTING!!" He does NOTHING when he gets home from work. (no kids baths, no feeding the kids, no helping out with anything around the house, doesn't bring me little gifts / presents unless it is my b-day or Valentine's day!) He doesn't even know how to bath the kids, feed babyfood, or put in a child car seat!
  • ElleOQuent
    ElleOQuent Posts: 431 Member
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    Who is this "we" that you speak of? :wink:
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    Good grief, people. He wasn't stereotyping. He was generalizing. If all the women he's ever been with were unappreciative, he has no reason no to generalize. Stop acting all holier-than-thou and give the guy a friggin' break. He was just trying to make a point.

    Well put. I swear sometimes on this site people look for a reason to be offended.

    Don't I know it. It's like they come in a bad mood and look for things they could someone distort to make them seem rude.
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    I would be happy if my husband would not come home with a attitude everyday! He also blames everything on my daughter (9 yrs old) even if it is one of OUR other 2 children's fault! Being plain hateful and saying rude / hurtful comments all the time just makes our relationship that much more rocky! He has no patients and horrible anger issues... Also he's never wrong in his eyes! "OKAY, I'M DONE VENTING!!" He does NOTHING when he gets home from work. (no kids baths, no feeding the kids, no helping out with anything around the house, doesn't bring me little gifts / presents unless it is my b-day or Valentine's day!) He doesn't even know how to bath the kids, feed babyfood, or put in a child car seat!

    Um. If he is really like that, perhaps you should find another guy.
  • Kailel
    Kailel Posts: 61 Member
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    Why are you talking to girls on the internet? They should be in the kitchen! >.>

    Generalizing is no way to get a specific problem dealt with, if you have an issue with being unappreciated, bring it up to the girl in question, not all of womankind. I know (and have known, if you get my drift) men that have done none of those things, but I appreciated different things that they do, because they did try. Even if they didn't succeed, I appreciate the effort. Effort is what it's all about. My boyfriend constantly forgets birthdays and anniversaries, but the other day he said, "I know it's gotta be at the end of March, not the beginning, because you haven't gotten mad at me yet!". xD I appreciate his ability to make me laugh, even if it means he doesn't remember to do things that it would be nice if he did actually do. (and FYI I don't get *angry* when he forgets, I tease him in a way that's mutually amusing to us. The "mad" he was mentioning was the mad that society assumes a girl immediately goes to when she's been disappointed)

    And to the people who think he's in his rights to generalize women because he's had bad experiences, that means I get to generalize all men as rapists and physically and emotionally abusive alcoholics. Hey, it's what I know about men from my ex-boyfriends. /rant
  • anberlingasm
    anberlingasm Posts: 177
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    men are not dogs. You don't "train" them.

    All humans can be trained. Teaching a child is very much like training a puppy. Men might not be dogs, but they're just as trainable (although I disagree with the derogatory way it was said in the first place).
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
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    To answer your question OP, with me the first month (which is usually pushing it) is all rainbows and sunshine. Then after that I tend to warm up to you, escape my shy girl position, and realized that you just annoy the **** out of me. The jokes were never funny, I just laughed because I know I say some dumb stuff to.

    Trying to fix my problems when I'm upset don't help either. I mean it's great and all but you can't fix them. If I'm upset and I say I'm fine. Leave it at that. Because that means I need time to pout in my own mind and get over it. It only takes a few minutes, maybe a hour or two. But I WILL get over it. I always do.

    Flowers are great but most of them scare me or smell horrible (don't ask). I LOVE to eat, so feed me damnit!

    I like to think I'm not take hard to please. Just all the men I've dated annoyed me in some form or another within a month. It's me, not you I promise.
  • mamato3babies
    mamato3babies Posts: 73 Member
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    Oh yeah, it's that bad! Even now he is out playing softball and I am at home with 3 children (not saying that he can't have "him" time, but it would be nice to be able to have "me" time too!) I do love him, otherwise I wouldn't be with him... But a person can only handle so much.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Many of you seem to make bad choices in partners if you are being neglected and discarded and treated as callously as you claim to be.
  • Iamkim73
    Iamkim73 Posts: 924 Member
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    We want you . . constantly.. . .but you don't.. (not constantly).. .we try candles (lame) we try dinner (oh. . . he's just hoping to get lucky). . we try flowers (he knows he screwed up). . we try cleaning the house! . . . ok. . .we don't do that very often. . but the point is. . we try! and mostly. it's to make you love us. . not just to make you scr*w us. . . we like you ..and we want you to like us too. . why do you find it so hard to hook us up with some appreciation. ... an acknowledgement and a hug will do. We work hard for you...

    I'm speaking for myself here not all women....

    I dont need a man to do stuff to make me love them... It's the person not the actions that will make me fall for them. Now, flowers, candles, cleaning the house are all lovely and do deserve some acknowledgement. Sometimes we forget men have needs other than sex... Just remind us.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    My husband likes me. I like him more...don't let him tell you different.

    I made a good choice.
  • mamato3babies
    mamato3babies Posts: 73 Member
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    Yeah, I've chosen some guys that aren't all that great... But I can say that my husband does have a good heart (he just doesn't show it. I just dont really understand why!)
    Anyways, back to the poster's problem... I believe that I can agree with most of the other people and say "you just haven't found the right woman for you!" You sound like a good guy... Just keep your head up and love / happiness will find you. :-)
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    Many of you seem to make bad choices in partners if you are being neglected and discarded and treated as callously as you claim to be.

    I agree.

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