Girls. . we need guidance. .

Wow, this is sexist. If one girl isn't treating you right, how about you take it up with her instead of stamping all of us with it?

I hate feminists :grumble:

it's so nice to live alone and not have to worry about these things. Really it is.

I clean my own house.
I do my own dishes.
If I need something, I take care of it.

<snip>

I got tired of being run over so I went this route.^^^^ I must say that I'm very happy with this lifestyle. Most women have/cause too much drama for me to deal. I'll keep my money and my sanity. No one get offended, seriously, please. Sounds like a break from caring what other people think is in order for the OP. If they don't like who you are at your core, minus surface imperfections of course, move on.

I hate feminists :grumble:

. That comment seems to come from left field or maybe I'm missing the ironic tone or something?

Pretty much from right field :P I'm grumpy today!

My husband and I have been together for pretty much all our adult lives. I met him when I was 17, and we've been married for almost 35 years. He doesn't buy me flowers (I'm allergic), but he does help with the housework, enjoys my cooking and does the dishes after dinner. He works very hard at a physically demanding job and sometimes comes home tired and a bit grumpy. I have been know to stop cooking dinner to give him a massage if that's what he needs - and he's done the same for me. He supports me in the things I want to do and is always there for me. Not to say its all been perfect - he went through a bad patch for a couple of years in his early 40s and I made life not very pleasant during menopause and with my weight gain.

But we muddled through, and I can tell you this - appreciation works both ways. Show her you love her no matter what and she will likely do the same for you.

Good grief, people. He wasn't stereotyping. He was generalizing. If all the women he's ever been with were unappreciative, he has no reason no to generalize. Stop acting all holier-than-thou and give the guy a friggin' break. He was just trying to make a point.

Don't I know it. It's like they come in a bad mood and look for things they could someone distort to make them seem rude.

agreed :happy:

Okay, I have every right to feel offended at his very generalized topic.

Lets look at his generalisations against women.
"We want you constantly, but you don't"- I, and many other women I know, have very healthy sex drives that often surpass our partners. Even if this is not interpreted as sexual, it implies that we don't want to equal amounts of time with our partners.
If he does something nice (candles, dinner, flowers) women assume it's either A. because he wants to get laid. Or B. he did something wrong.- So in the first scenario, again, women don't want sex? I must have missed that memo. Second scenario, implies that women jump to negative explanations and often put blame on their men. (Based on the implication that if he didn't do something wrong, and brings us flowers, then we "invent" some sort of wrong that he must be making up for. If he DID do something then brings flowers... yeah, logical conclusion.)
We find it hard to "hook them up with some appreciation"- Not all women are like this, many of us are quite good at appreciating our men.

Lets look at his generalisations against men.
"We want you constantly"- really? So there's never a moment that you want alone time? Want to do something other than sex? Bull.
All men "try candles... dinner... flowers... cleaning the house", they "work hard for" us- Um, no. Not all men do that. Congrats that you're one of the few that does! That's awesome. But, no, many men do not do these things.
"We try cleaning the house! ... ok... we don't do that very often!" - Um, really? So men are untidy? Unclean? Wallow in their own filth if there isn't a woman around to clean for him? I call shenanegins. Many men I know are quite self-sufficient and would be offended that the idea that men only "try" to clean the house, and not very often.

It is understandable for you to feel frustration if your past experiences with women have been negative, but you are NOT going to get sympathy from me by making broad generalizations and promoting stereotypes that are offensive to women AND men. My oringinal point was that you have to take responsibility that you are allowing people to treat you this way. There are plenty of women, and men, out there who appreciate their partners. If you stay in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship, of course things aren't going to get better. And having an attitude that "all women are this way because these women were that way!" will not get you anywhere. Because the truth is, the women who you want to attract are going to be turned off by that attitude.

Is there a full moon tonight?

To the op, I highly recommend reading the book, the five love languages. It is sorta cheezy, but I think it would really help you.

I will check it out. thx!

Another vote! It was spot on for us. It's designed to help couples understand each other, but being aware of your own love languages and knowing how to recognize others' is very valuable I'm sorry you've had a tough time in the love department. Hopefully the best is yet to come!

Okay, I have every right to feel offended at his very generalized topic.

Lets look at his generalisations against women.
"We want you constantly, but you don't"- I, and many other women I know, have very healthy sex drives that often surpass our partners. Even if this is not interpreted as sexual, it implies that we don't want to equal amounts of time with our partners.
If he does something nice (candles, dinner, flowers) women assume it's either A. because he wants to get laid. Or B. he did something wrong.- So in the first scenario, again, women don't want sex? I must have missed that memo. Second scenario, implies that women jump to negative explanations and often put blame on their men. (Based on the implication that if he didn't do something wrong, and brings us flowers, then we "invent" some sort of wrong that he must be making up for. If he DID do something then brings flowers... yeah, logical conclusion.)
We find it hard to "hook them up with some appreciation"- Not all women are like this, many of us are quite good at appreciating our men.

Lets look at his generalisations against men.
"We want you constantly"- really? So there's never a moment that you want alone time? Want to do something other than sex? Bull.
All men "try candles... dinner... flowers... cleaning the house", they "work hard for" us- Um, no. Not all men do that. Congrats that you're one of the few that does! That's awesome. But, no, many men do not do these things.
"We try cleaning the house! ... ok... we don't do that very often!" - Um, really? So men are untidy? Unclean? Wallow in their own filth if there isn't a woman around to clean for him? I call shenanegins. Many men I know are quite self-sufficient and would be offended that the idea that men only "try" to clean the house, and not very often.

It is understandable for you to feel frustration if your past experiences with women have been negative, but you are NOT going to get sympathy from me by making broad generalizations and promoting stereotypes that are offensive to women AND men. My oringinal point was that you have to take responsibility that you are allowing people to treat you this way. There are plenty of women, and men, out there who appreciate their partners. If you stay in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship, of course things aren't going to get better. And having an attitude that "all women are this way because these women were that way!" will not get you anywhere. Because the truth is, the women who you want to attract are going to be turned off by that attitude.

Sir. Yes sir!

I personally have never been the lovey dovey person. If I care for you, if I let you sleep at my place, if I call you my woman, if I work hard to provide for you, if I take care of YOUR kids and try to become a good male figure in their lives, thats my way of saying I love you.

Also, while we at it, please, do not think I'm afraid of commitment or responsibility. I'm a responsible person and that is exactly why I dont jump into labeling the relationship or having kids. I have to think of the future as a man. How am I going to feed the kids? What kind of a parent would I be? How can I bring this child in this F'd up world? Can I handle the responsibility of having a daughter who might endup having big time daddy issues? Would my son make the same mistakes as I did when I was a kid? These questions drive me crazy and THATS my reason to not want kids.

Edit: yes I know my post didnt made alot of sense. Just try to understand that we are trying our best for the family and sometimes that might keep us from being the romantic person

Awesome. There are some good guys out there! :-)

Id like to help you out with an answer but my husband does none of those things. He doesn't even make his own dentist appointments.

Hahaha I just made an appointment for my husband!

As far as everything else, yeah... he would if I asked him too but he isn't creative enough to think of the rest on his own. But I definitely appreciate him, more than enough. He is a good man and does a lot for me!

By the way, OP... If you did clean the house, you would never have to worry about feeling under appreciated. Women love that.

We want you . . constantly.. . .but you don't.. (not constantly).. .we try candles (lame) we try dinner (oh. . . he's just hoping to get lucky). . we try flowers (he knows he screwed up). . we try cleaning the house! . . . ok. . .we don't do that very often. . but the point is. . we try! and mostly. it's to make you love us. . not just to make you scr*w us. . . we like you ..and we want you to like us too. . why do you find it so hard to hook us up with some appreciation. ... an acknowledgement and a hug will do. We work hard for you...

Whoever you are with is one lucky girl! I have only had one guy bring me flowers and that was for a dance, and whenever he took me to dinner he would insult me. And the candles would be very romantic. I would melt to have a man do all that for me especially since I spend everyday lighting candles and massaging people. No one ever does that for me. And if your girl doesn't appreciate that then she has never truly been treated like crap, you have to see the bottom to appreciate what is at the top. If a man did that for me, I'd do stuff for him, I already have some ideas of what to do for my man but in order for him to appreciate them, I feel like I need to drop a few pounds and gain some confidence. That, and actually find a man lol.