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Always single!

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  • Posts: 529 Member
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    Yeah, I'm not own for open relationships. Maybe I need to set expectations earlier (I'm looking for a solid relationship), but even when I do that, it seems to make them think I'm moving too fast. IDK about others, but when I'm seeing someone multiple times a week, cooking for him, having sleep overs, talking every day....that seems to be turning into a relationship. If I like someone, I show it....but then they always turn around and say that's not what they want.

    Honestly, I would say, " I am not trying to get ahead of myself, but if you are looking for a hook up or just sex, then you are not getting it here or I am not ready until......" Honestly, you will know how many are TRULY interested in you. It seems as though you are attracting the wrong type of men.
  • Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Yeah, I'm not own for open relationships. Maybe I need to set expectations earlier (I'm looking for a solid relationship), but even when I do that, it seems to make them think I'm moving too fast. IDK about others, but when I'm seeing someone multiple times a week, cooking for him, having sleep overs, talking every day....that seems to be turning into a relationship. If I like someone, I show it....but then they always turn around and say that's not what they want.

    Then they aren't into you.

    And if you aren't ok with being the booty call then you should put a stop to that.
  • Posts: 132 Member

    Are women really that dependant on a man. What I mean is, if a guy likes you, then that's it for you? There's no filter on your side too? I find that pretty hard to believe, especially after what happened to me with my ex wife.

    No sometimes I'm the one not feeling it...but I don't just disappear...I say we should just be friends.
  • Posts: 1,434 Member
    The right one for you will always appear when you are ready to commit to him. Be patient. He's out there. Don't throw yourself at someone who's just nice. Wait for the one who is IT!
  • Posts: 77 Member
    Don't worry about people who aren't alert enough to see who is standing in front of them. Be patient and good things will come your way soon enough.

    Just don't push yourself into doing something you might regret. My son married a lady he thought he knew (he'd known her about 10 years and dated her for two). Three years later their marriage was annulled because the judge even recognized they didn't have a clue. They're both better off, but it was a very painful experience for my son - he was simply heart broken.

    My kids were raised to dedicate their lives to their wives when they married. My oldest waited until he was 34 - youngest is now 31 and is again looking, but both of them work like 100 hours a week, so it will take a miracle for him to meet someone.

    You can find someone who is trustworthy, loyal, honest and who will cherish you as a rare jewel. When you do, you'll know it. Then, assuming he deserves it, you do the same.

    Fairy book tales do exist. You can live one.
  • Posts: 631 Member
    I think you are beautiful! and if you were closer (Houston) I would be one of those moms who sets you up on a date with her son. (he's just a little bit younger than you) LOL
  • Posts: 3,845 Member
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    No sometimes I'm the one not feeling it...but I don't just disappear...I say we should just be friends.

    Some guys are spineless, I guess. You're better off.
  • Posts: 925 Member
    You're an attractive young woman, and there are plenty of really great guys out there.
    not to sound goofy or corny, you might mix it up a bit -- pursue a new activity, maybe something you thought about and haven't tried.
    I think when men and women are having a good time it brings out the best in them and everyone just really shines.
  • Posts: 132 Member
    I think you are beautiful! and if you were closer (Houston) I would be one of those moms who sets you up on a date with her son. LOL

    LOL....That's awesome
  • Posts: 48 Member
    awww , I am sorry . Me too I am single . I am also hopeful that I will find that special guy that will give me butterflies when I think of him . I AM TOO PICKY! Anyway , all you can do is maybe ask them what was wrong , maybe they are not ready themselves to be in anything comitted
  • Posts: 292 Member
    I know how you feel with the always single. I get tired of feeling like the only single in a world full of doubles. I've been through so many crappy dates the last few years it's ridiculous. I've just resigned myself to the fact that even though everyone always says "there's someone out there", "it just takes time", "you'll find him eventually" (it's always people in relationships who say that, lol) some people are just going to be single. Most the time I'm fine with it but there are times and days when it would be wonderful to have someone around. But after a while, I guess you just get used to being single and you go on with your life as it is. But you're young and beautiful so I'm positive you'll find someone, and it'll probably be when you least expect it :)
  • Posts: 1,298 Member
    Ugh....so I'm not sure what is wrong with me. But yet another guy just disappeared....Asked me out on a few dates....I thought they went well....all of a sudden the texts slow down and then nada. I just don't get it. Used to blame my weight....now I'm afraid its just me haha. Ugh...sorry just wanted to vent :(

    Thats no good! Wish I could have an explaination for you.. its probably something irrational anyways that you are probably better of without him, if he didnt have the balls to tell you face to face. My guess, and sorry to say, is that you were probably filling in time for him. So just move on and find someone who makes time for you! Theres nothing wrong with the way you, you look great! Its just him being a douche!
  • Posts: 1,058 Member
    I hear ya there girl.
  • Posts: 3,634 Member
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    What I meant is you can date someone and then they disappear and then a few days later their facebook status changes over to in a relationship with some other guy and that tells you why they disappeared.

    As to what you are talking about, yes ... that is something that happens a lot. People want what they can't have. Or at the very least want to **** you and then don't need to hang around because you're already with someone else so they can cut and run.

    Yes you're right & that's very ridiculous. Truth is telling someone that you're not interested in his/her face is very difficult thing to do. We human beings are built to socialize & therefore its not easy to be vocal about your negative feelings which is why people just rather show it than to talk about it.
  • Posts: 529 Member
    awww , I am sorry . Me too I am single . I am also hopeful that I will find that special guy that will give me butterflies when I think of him . I AM TOO PICKY! Anyway , all you can do is maybe ask them what was wrong , maybe they are not ready themselves to be in anything comitted

    You have to be somewhat picky and know you are worth. If you expecting something you can't give also, ok that is being unreasonable.
  • Posts: 1,051 Member
    Age is only a thing if you let it be ;)

    And guys are taught by the female species that nice guys are the ones you use as an emotional tampon. No guy wants to be labeled a nice guy. It's a death mark.
  • Posts: 77 Member
    You are not alone. I am in the same boat as you. I've met too many *kitten* and because of that I have not gone out on a date in awhile...and I am ok with it. I figure he will come along at some point :)

    Seems there are zero "good" guys left plus I get hit on by 21-24 yr olds or 70+ year olds. Never someone my own age :(

    LOL!!! Gotta watch out for those 70+ year olds...
  • Posts: 77 Member
    There are 'nice guys' and there are good men.

    The trick is to recognize the diffence. Pick a good man and you'll never go wrong.
  • Posts: 292 Member
    lol@nice being the death mark. At my age I would LOVE to meet a nice guy! It's been so long since I've actually met a nice guy I'm not even sure I'd recognize one now.
  • Posts: 3,634 Member
    You are not alone. I am in the same boat as you. I've met too many *kitten* and because of that I have not gone out on a date in awhile...and I am ok with it. I figure he will come along at some point :)

    Seems there are zero "good" guys left plus I get hit on by 21-24 yr olds or 70+ year olds. Never someone my own age :(

    For me I would rather go with the 21-24 year old dudes than being with someone who is even older than your own grandfather. At least the younger ones makes you feel young.
  • Posts: 1,051 Member
    Ah age. Life's great equalizer. No matter how much you hate it you have to go through it.
  • Posts: 787 Member
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    For me I would rather go with the 21-24 year old dudes than being with someone who is even older than your own grandfather. At least the younger ones makes you feel young.

    And yet my dating range is 35-45 because I don't want immaturity, but that's all I find. I couldn't get rid of one ex. He even went as far as having others tell me, because I blocked him on all communications, he was dead and I was his ICE. Seriously, you're 40 dude. GROW UP. Boys will be boys no matter what age. I'm thinking maybe I'll try 28-35 now. lol. Trial and error!
  • Posts: 21 Member
    Just remember, your the greatest thing they'll never have. If they bail then that is what you gotta tell yourself and one day someone will realize how great you are and that will be the day you know you found the right guy.
  • Posts: 381 Member
    I mean you can't realistically say to someone you just met
    "Well, you seem like a great person, I'm just not interested."...we'll I suppose you could...but it'd be awkward.
    [/quote]

    You totally can tell a person that you are not interested. You usuallyy know right away. That would be the mature adult non game playing thing to do.
  • Posts: 4,401 Member
    Just remember, your the greatest thing they'll never have. If they bail then that is what you gotta tell yourself and one day someone will realize how great you are and that will be the day you know you found the right guy.

    What a sweet thing to say.
  • Posts: 2,245 Member
    I have a friend who is always single. He's a great guy, but he dominates conversations and is just so relentlessly high-energy that I get exhausted just having lunch with him. So, maybe you are like that. I myself have a very "acquired taste" personality, but I did manage to tone it down enough to find my other half, so don't give up.

    That said, guys who don't reply to multiple texts are *kitten*.
  • Posts: 1,111 Member
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    That sucks. I hate that. It's time to move on. Anymore texts/calls to him and you are starting down the path of stalker.

    Yes. I think being desperate to have a relationship is easy to sniff out. It is dumb to say this, but try less! The less you care / have invested, the more likely you are to relax, have fun, and not stress. Those are all critical before you can get into something serious.
  • Posts: 150 Member
    Stop blaming yourself. There is NOTHING wrong with you. Don't change for a guy. They won't change for you, and you shouldn't change for them. Be yourself. If it isn't meant to be, it isn't meant to be. You will find someone...don't worry.

    However, maybe you should just ask. It might not hurt to find out why...especially if it will stop you from scrutinizing yourself.

    I think this is the worst dating advice in the world.

    Ladies.... we have to stop telling each other nonsense like this...

    1. There is NOTHING wrong with you- LIES. There's SOMETHING wrong with ALL of us. The BETTER advice is this: "EXAMINE YOURSELF." WHAT'S wrong with you? Is it something you're willing to rock with and let the pieces fall where they may when it comes to dating, or is it something you'd rather NOT be an "attribute"? Step outside of yourself. Would YOU date you if you weren't you? Men chase. Women choose. Are you chasing more than choosing? "You will find someone" suggests that you should be on the chase and not the choosing end.

    2. Don't change for a guy- This is half true. DON'T change for a guy. DO change for yourself. But if you want a relationship and one of your personality traits is that you're clingy, naggy, and unable to express yourself without cursing, crying, or hitting, and you are chasing men off.... you MIGHT want to ".... change yourself for a guy."


    Understand, this is NOT me saying there's ANYTHING wrong with you. I don't know you and you haven't given enough details to judge. But I am saying don't listen to THAT type of advice. It's pacifying and it's not fair.
  • Posts: 21 Member
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    What a sweet thing to say.

    thanks, but i think it's a true statement not everyone will like you for who you are or what you do. However there will always be someone that will be "wow you like that to?" Why be done over what someone can't see because they are to blinded by what they are "expected" to see.
  • Posts: 1,531 Member
    You and me both.. :sigh: At least you get dates. :/
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