Worst pick up lines you've ever heard?

silvabelle89
silvabelle89 Posts: 76 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
Some good ones:
' wanna make out? ' ...heard this more than once actually so it must work for some women

>>>>this one used on a friend of mine >>>> "I know I don't know anything about you, but you look like you have a beautiful vagina"

I also had a guy come up to me in a bar starting the conversation 'why are you drinking water in a bar, you should be getting drunk. Can I get you a drink?" ....... Ummm no, guy, no.
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Replies

  • MisFitMom219
    MisFitMom219 Posts: 50 Member
    "wow, you look great for having a kid" -FAIL.
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
    "I have a huge c*^k."

    Later, when recounting this to my sister, she told me the perfect response. "I have a tiny v@gina. This will never work."

    *I wasn't sure if MFP was going to block v@gina or not, so I played it safe. ;)
  • craigers13
    craigers13 Posts: 241 Member
    My new go-to pickup line:

    "Are you Irish? Because my penis is Dublin!"
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    Nothing mattered before I met you. *puke*
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Come here often? Seriously, that was weak.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Wanna go upstairs and fool around? I'm hung like a horse.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    Excuse me, is that sperm in your hair?
  • im_blessed
    im_blessed Posts: 74 Member
    I think i'm going to study some probability this morning. are u good at math? lol really dude!?
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,274 Member
    Your parents must have been groundhogs 'cause when I saw your shadow it was spring in my pants
  • NordenJenn
    NordenJenn Posts: 82 Member
    this was said to me by the MC of a talent competition I was singing in, literally 2 seconds before I went on stage

    "So....have you ever been asked out by a guy wearing make-up before?"

    umm, no. and i wish it would've stayed that way.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
    "Can I be your friend?" Sounds innocent here, but was completely creepy in real life.
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
    Him: "how much does a polar bear weigh?"
    Me: "Oh gee, I don't know. I suppose around 1000 lbs."
    Him: "Uhh....enough to break the ice. Can I get your number?"

    Perv: "You must be Irish, 'cause my penis is 'Dublin'"
    Me: "I'm Irish, but GTF away from me."
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    are you tired cause you been running through my dreams all night..

    Can I 'hose' you down cause you are HOT..
  • AZnewme
    AZnewme Posts: 228 Member
    I'm a professional baseball player, so you want to sleep with me now right? uhhhh NO!
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
    Your parents must have been groundhogs 'cause when I saw your shadow it was spring in my pants

    That's not a bad pick up line, that's the best joke ever!
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,573 Member
    Want to see where the monkey bit me?
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    What do you think about the societal implication of a transformational state of being and the dichotomy that emerges when entire cultures are dominated by heuristic principles of balance.?

    (or anything like that). . must be said with a smirk. .
  • silvabelle89
    silvabelle89 Posts: 76 Member
    Also.. "I'm room 314. Knock on it, I'll give you free beer and we'll party all night" ...... Oh college
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
    You are so lucky I showed up, now you don't have to go home alone.

    Wow you look better close up.
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
    Believe it or not, this works all the time...

    Does this smell like chloroform?

    Too funny!
  • lulu9663
    lulu9663 Posts: 57 Member
    Dude licks thumb, wipes it on my shirt. Licks his thumb again, wipes it on his shirt. Then says: "Let's get out of these wet clothes." Then he winks.... Creeeepyyyyy
  • Warmbloodwear
    Warmbloodwear Posts: 387 Member
    You are so lucky I showed up, now you don't have to go home alone.

    Wow you look better close up.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
    I had a chick ask me this Fri " why my wife let's me come out the house without my wedding ring "

    I had another one ask me a few weeks ago " did i think my girl would mind if she bought me a drink"

    thirsty females.........
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    I'm a professional baseball player, so you want to sleep with me now right? uhhhh NO!

    Sad thing is, I might. OH Lord I do like baseball players.
  • LilRedPitViper
    LilRedPitViper Posts: 104 Member
    "Smell my finger"

    ....I did. And ended up marrying him.
  • Warmbloodwear
    Warmbloodwear Posts: 387 Member
    "Do your pants have a mirror in them, cause I can see my self in them"
  • OLFATUG
    OLFATUG Posts: 393 Member
    "Let's skip the small talk, what do you want for breakfast?"
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    I don't really have lines, but just for the pure d-bag route, I have said, "I don't need to know your name, I just wanna know if you're down to *kitten*. While you're marinating on that, I'll be talking to your friend."

    Has a 20% success rate.
  • laughingnome
    laughingnome Posts: 259 Member
    2 A.M. "I've been looking for the prettiest girl here and I finally found you"
  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,262 Member
    "You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to a solicitor. Are you going to come quietly?"
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