Worst pick up lines you've ever heard?

135

Replies

  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
    I did not know it was a pick up line as I am usually not the one to get them. My buddies got a good laugh at me AFTER we had left...thanks guys...

    Her: Wow you have big hands (she holds one in hers and I am a giant she is tiny)
    Me: yeah they are good sized compared to mere mortals.
    Her: You must be a big guy.
    Me: (oblivious) Well yeah I am 6' 4" and over 300#. I am a big as any NFL lineman.

    At this point she is smiling politely, I am distracted by my friends choking on their drinks. She was cool enough to hang out until we left, probably wondering if I ate paint chips as a kid.....
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    Wanna come out to my truck? I have lots of beer...been married to him for 24 years!!
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    "You've got great muscle tone for a fat girl"

    Um... WOW.
  • scatgash
    scatgash Posts: 101 Member
    'Did it hurt?'
    *Sighs* 'Did what hurt?'
    'When you fell from heaven, because it looks like you landed on your face.'
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
    Man I hope this thread doesnt get locked... lol...

    Classics right here...

    "If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"

    and

    Guy: Do you have any <insert ancestral heritage here> in you?
    Girl: No?
    Guy: Want some?
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    No I didn't ask you to dance, I said you look fat in those pants...
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
    I've used the "wanna make out" to great success. Has to be applied properly for it to work though.
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    I play the banjo.
  • grumpya
    grumpya Posts: 54 Member
    Before he met me my husband used to go up to girls in pubs/ bars and say "Do you f*** darling" it seemed to be remarkably succesful! He was my driving instructor & he used to tell me about his attempts to find the right woman. At the time I used to think how could anyone fancy a man like that? We have been married 25 years now!
  • grumpya
    grumpya Posts: 54 Member
    Worst one said to me "you smell ok for a fat bird"
  • Snow__White
    Snow__White Posts: 1,650 Member
    I had an Australian guy ask me if i wanted to see down under
  • duchess_natas
    duchess_natas Posts: 72 Member
    I used to go clubbing a few times a week. One night my friend came up to me to tell me his buddy wanted to meet me. I told him to tell his buddy to grow some balls and come talk to me himself. Next week the guy walks up to me and says, "I dated a girl your brother was dating at the same time". True story, he really did date a girl my brother was dating at the same time. Hell of a thing to say to someone you're interested in.
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    I have been turned down by every other girl in this bar...your my last hope! What ya say?
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    I had an Australian guy ask me if i wanted to see down under
    BWHAHAHAHA...being Spanish can I use, "I'd love to sneak across your boarder".
  • alix1105
    alix1105 Posts: 80
    "are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only Ten I see ;)" ..............shoot me...just shoot me.. hahaha
  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,262 Member

    BWHAHAHAHA...being Spanish can I use, "I'd love to sneak across your boarder".

    Only if she's a landlord
  • rayzer1
    rayzer1 Posts: 23 Member
    Have you met Ted?
  • frazzle29
    frazzle29 Posts: 122 Member
    bump
  • grumpya
    grumpya Posts: 54 Member
    I used to work on a building site (12 years of it) I think I heard every line but the one that still makes me shudder was froma guy 30 years older than, heavy smoker, not very fit
    "I've been impotent for 10 years but I think you could cure me"
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member

    BWHAHAHAHA...being Spanish can I use, "I'd love to sneak across your boarder".

    Only if she's a landlord
    LMAO...I can only say my extreme hunger allowed that grammar error to get by.
  • DAM_Fine
    DAM_Fine Posts: 1,227 Member
    Gawd...

    "I want to take you to my hotel room and **** you for 8 hours. No - make that 10 - I just thought of something else I want to try"

    I mean - srsly?
  • jfrog123
    jfrog123 Posts: 432 Member
    See that chic over there? That's my ex-girlfriend. Wanna help me make her jealous?

    That shirt looks good on you. It would look even better on my bedroom floor.

    That dress is very becoming. Of course, if I were on you I'd be coming too.

    Excuse me, I'm a member of the tattoo patrol and I need to see yours.

    Back in the days of pay phones: Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I found the woman of my dreams.

    And my favorite..... Nice shoes. Wanna f&$k? *And it worked!
  • sbeisel1
    sbeisel1 Posts: 181
    I kid you not, I actualy had this said to me at a bar, the guy had been following me around making me uncomfortable. he finally caught up to me and said, "You're really pretty, you remind me of my sister, d'ya wanna dance?" uh... no.:noway: :laugh:
  • Nucky719
    Nucky719 Posts: 143
    This was actually said to me in a club.

    "YOU NEED TO QUIT PLAYIN AND GIVE ME YOUR MOTHER F*CKIN PHONE NUMBER!"

    And yes he was yelling lol.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    This was actually said to me in a club.

    "YOU NEED TO QUIT PLAYIN AND GIVE ME YOUR MOTHER F*CKIN PHONE NUMBER!"

    And yes he was yelling lol.

    I know that dude. He's hilarious. And abusive.
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    bump for later.

    The very first time I talked to my husband (met him on a phone call when he answered my friend's phone) he said, "I can't talk. I am not comfortable talking to women."

    We've been married over 10 years. LOL
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
    Believe it or not, this works all the time...

    Does this smell like chloroform?

    you naughty!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sabrina32576
    sabrina32576 Posts: 253 Member
    Security guy in my building - "if your husband doesn't appreciate you i will" Yuck. I hide from him now.
  • MrsB123111
    MrsB123111 Posts: 535 Member
    "Do you have a band-aid? I skinned my knee when I fell in love with you"
    "Are those space pants? Because you *kitten* is outta this world"

    My favorite was the time when a guy told me his name was "Goose" and he was a contract killer for the government... Really?
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    "How do you like your eggs in the morning? Sunnyside up or fertilised??"

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