Attitudes of people with different levels of fitness and wei
Replies
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Someone on facebook the other day who happens to be morbidly obese posted "Guys are so shallow. I am beautiful on the inside."blahblahblah my own bs
I felt like saying, yes, you are, but you are also refusing to add the you on the outside to the equation. That's the problem.
we make our friends based on their inner beauty. We start dating them if their outsides make us all urge-y as well. Sometimes the outside attraction comes irst, sometimes the inner beauty friend part comes first. Sometimes you become friends with someone because of their inner beauty, then they lose 100 lbs and suddenly they are sexy and you want to bone them. simple. true story.0 -
I agree. I've been diagnosed with 2 metabolic disorders, Hypothyroidism and Insulin-resistance. The latter of course caused by my weight. There are reasons I got this fat...bad food choices and a sedentary lifestyle. Metabolic disorders make it twice as hard to lose weight, which makes it super easy to give up. The problem comes in when legitimate reasons become excuses for not changing. I've met people at my endocrinologists office who didn't lose a pound, not one, until they had been on a clean eating and fitness routine for 2 months. It truly can get that difficult for some people. So maybe it's a combination of things and a matter of perspective. For some people, eat less move more is the only answer they need. For others, it's not so simple. I truly believe that no matter which end of the spectrum you're on it boils down to one thing...how bad do you want it? Reason aren't excuses anymore when you want it more than anything and it seems that once you've reached it, there's no excuse for going back.0
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So it always gets me wondering is the denial and political correctness that prevent appropriate honesty a major cause of the increasing trend of obesity??
Yes.
We are all unique snowflakes, but we are all human.
Think of it as cars. We are all different makes, models and years. Some need more gas, some need less, some burn fast, some burn slow, some have engine problems, some go green and cut out certain kinds of fuel.... but they all need oil, fuel, maintenance and protection.
We dont come with a warranty, we have to be responsible enough to keep our own selves in check.
It doesnt matter if you are foreign, or specially built, or youve been in a car accident or had parts changed or the last owner treated it badly... you're still the same kind of machine as I am.
BUT... the truth always boils down to the same two things.
1. If you truly want something, you make it happen. If you don't want it enough, you make excuses. If you don't even want to try, you make yourself a victim.
2. NO ONE BUT YOU can be the person that wakes up one morning and it all clicks into place and you know you are ready... No one can inspire you to stand up on your REAL Day 1. That moment is all you.
So if you surround yourself with people who are careful not to mention to you the reality that you are morbidly obese or just plain fat and losing control of where your body is heading, without care to change, or you surround yourself with people that say, oh you're lovely just the way you are
... and you arent happy and you dont feel lovely and you want control..... then you are going to have to shed those enablers that coddle you or you wont see the truth. They block you. You block you.
People choose blindness.
So people can come here and get upset that fat is an insult, list all the reasons why diet, exercise, sleep and water wont help them because they are special, and everyone will go one listening to them ***** and moan without changing anything real... because we know they just havent committed yet.
But when they do, and they stop making excuses and embracing the victim mentality... they will see. They will truly actually see.
Definitely. You hit the nail on the head.
Someone on facebook the other day who happens to be morbidly obese posted "Guys are so shallow. I am beautiful on the inside."
I felt like saying, yes, you are, but you are also refusing to add the you on the outside to the equation. That's the problem.
People all have different stories, but what we all have in common is that our bodies respond to proper care and maintainence as well as the lack of it.
It has to click one day. Thats basically it. You have to have that moment where starting tomorrow is no longer an option. Fat insults wont help anymore than constructive criticism- at least it never worked in my case. I had to make the choice-and need to continue to make the choice every day.
I hate that comment - it's as if it suggests that as exterior beauty increases, interior beauty decreases.
Right?!? It is a defense mechanism.0 -
I find that when someone says, "I am not meaning to be offensive" usually means they realize what they're about to say or type is offensive. Your claim that "fitter" or "correct weight" people have a more no nonsense attitude vs. overweight people being in denial is offensive because it generalizes people. I know plenty of fit individuals who are in denial and I know plenty of overweight people who are real with themselves and don't blame their weight on other issues.I have a genuine observation and wonder if people agree with me and what their opinion is. I am not meaning to be in any way offensive.
You can use psychology 101 on me and fail, but I actually put that phrase because I am not being offensive - I felt I need to put it because any use on the 'fat' on this site just goes down so badly. I think when you read you should take the spirit of the over-all sentiment and not nit-pick at words
I was asking a question and opening up a debate - and I have read EVERYONE'S somewhat lengthy responses and I think it has gone well - VERY interesting
From reading responses I started to thing maybe there are two types of overweight people one in denial and one not - Now I think it's simply if you start on a road the first step is accepting the problem eg: "I'm Joe and I'm an alcoholic"0 -
Someone on facebook the other day who happens to be morbidly obese posted "Guys are so shallow. I am beautiful on the inside."blahblahblah my own bs
I felt like saying, yes, you are, but you are also refusing to add the you on the outside to the equation. That's the problem.
we make our friends based on their inner beauty. We start dating them if their outsides make us all urge-y as well. Sometimes the outside attraction comes irst, sometimes the inner beauty friend part comes first. Sometimes you become friends with someone because of their inner beauty, then they lose 100 lbs and suddenly they are sexy and you want to bone them. simple. true story.
Regarding that fb post, it is the exact same cop-out that guys use when they say, 'nice guys finish last'. In both cases, the girl with 'inner beauty' and the 'nice' guy both come across as insecure, which isn't really attractive to others. Not to say looks don't matter, but the person likely has a warped sense of how others actually perceive her personality.0 -
if they are on MFP apparently they are making some type of change.
things just may not be going well for them.
but Im sure people who are now skinny should get on here and say well you are fat do something about it is going to help more than the people who are on here genuinely walking some people through this stuff.
brainstorming with them on things they can do differently in order to make a change work. Im also sure that when you are sitting there not losing inches or weight someone being cynical is really really helpful.
damn it makes me feel like a million bucks just thinking about it.
I have been here since december and guess what I had to up my calories to start feeling any better and my scales shifted a bit after not moving for months.
and that came from a recommendation of a skinny person who had been there! but Im sure it would have worked out better if they had giving me a snide remark.
Im not sure what you think I just said to you that you are so offended by.
im not offended. I just dont understand how you think it is all about waking up. I dont believe it has anything to do with other people coddling anyone. its not anyone else's responsibility to make you admit you have a weight problem...and the reality of it is if you are on MFP you have admitted that. but people being negative to those of us working on getting to the point they are is not helpful. I agree we are all snowflakes, no doubt at all. but what works for one does not always work for the other. I was making the point that sitting around going oh that person is just not committed yet and saying they are just *****ing and complaining is not always the truth. sometimes the basics of MFP (calories and exercise) are just not all that it is about. I worked at it until I figured it out. I didnt give up, I didnt make any excuses I was simply confused as to why I wasnt losing a drop when others who were not exercising were. and if you scroll through the topics being posted every day there is someone else saying for some reason they see no results, no matter what they do. its not that they are all simply not committed especially since clearly they are. if we are all snowflakes how can you make a generalization like that?0 -
I find that when someone says, "I am not meaning to be offensive" usually means they realize what they're about to say or type is offensive. Your claim that "fitter" or "correct weight" people have a more no nonsense attitude vs. overweight people being in denial is offensive because it generalizes people. I know plenty of fit individuals who are in denial and I know plenty of overweight people who are real with themselves and don't blame their weight on other issues.I have a genuine observation and wonder if people agree with me and what their opinion is. I am not meaning to be in any way offensive.
You're aiding the prosecution here.0 -
So it always gets me wondering is the denial and political correctness that prevent appropriate honesty a major cause of the increasing trend of obesity??
Yes.
We are all unique snowflakes, but we are all human.
Think of it as cars. We are all different makes, models and years. Some need more gas, some need less, some burn fast, some burn slow, some have engine problems, some go green and cut out certain kinds of fuel.... but they all need oil, fuel, maintenance and protection.
We dont come with a warranty, we have to be responsible enough to keep our own selves in check.
It doesnt matter if you are foreign, or specially built, or youve been in a car accident or had parts changed or the last owner treated it badly... you're still the same kind of machine as I am.
BUT... the truth always boils down to the same two things.
1. If you truly want something, you make it happen. If you don't want it enough, you make excuses. If you don't even want to try, you make yourself a victim.
2. NO ONE BUT YOU can be the person that wakes up one morning and it all clicks into place and you know you are ready... No one can inspire you to stand up on your REAL Day 1. That moment is all you.
So if you surround yourself with people who are careful not to mention to you the reality that you are morbidly obese or just plain fat and losing control of where your body is heading, without care to change, or you surround yourself with people that say, oh you're lovely just the way you are ... and you arent happy and you dont feel lovely and you want control..... then you are going to have to shed those enablers that coddle you or you wont see the truth. They block you. You block you.
People choose blindness.
So people can come here and get upset that fat is an insult, list all the reasons why diet, exercise, sleep and water wont help them because they are special, and everyone will go one listening to them ***** and moan without changing anything real... because we know they just havent committed yet.
But when they do, and they stop making excuses and embracing the victim mentality... they will see. They will truly actually see.
good response and I totally agree.0 -
I got fat for two reasons. 1. I ate too many calories each day; 2. I stopped working out.
I was on fertility drugs, have thyroid issues, PCOS, etc., etc.....These are all excuses. There's no magic trick to losing weight. If there was, no one would be fat.
If Person A eats whatever they want in whatever quantity they want and stays thin, and you gained weight because you ate too many calories, does that mean you're a person of lesser character than Person A? Are you weak-willed compared to Person A? Do you deserve to be scrutinized for something that comes automatic to Person A but requires a ton of effort for you?
Not of lesser character because of metabolism or fact that they gain weight per se while Person A does not-- the personal responsibility comes into play with how we respond-- because we are all different and Person A may have to work harder to learn, or get good grades, or whatever- the key to taking responsibility for your life is that if you recognize that something you are doing needs addressing or adverse consequences will occur-it doesn't matter to you that Person A does not have this issue- what matters to you is what you do about your issue-- for Person A it might be they need to re-read a text 3 times in order to learn the information, while you get it in one sitting, while you need to watch what you eat and excercise while Person A does not....
The problem I have is what we are doing by blaming obese individuals likens to the following:
Let's say you have a classroom full of students who have a teacher that doesn't even understand the material they are lecturing. Then they take a standardized test and only 10% of the class passes. Those 10 percent who are naturally smart are praised and the other 90% are considered failures. Nobody recognizes that there is something wrong with the environment if 90% fails, but that it must be the 90% that is the problem. Each individual failed themselves. The reality is the teacher failed them. This is exactly how I see the obesity epidemic. We live in a culture where it is too easy to fall into temptation to eat bad foods and too much of them. There is no consensus over what the problem is or what the solution is. People are confused and try things that won't work for them because they don't know any better. If we could somehow change that environment, the success rate would be much higher.0 -
So it always gets me wondering is the denial and political correctness that prevent appropriate honesty a major cause of the increasing trend of obesity??
Yes.
We are all unique snowflakes, but we are all human.
Think of it as cars. We are all different makes, models and years. Some need more gas, some need less, some burn fast, some burn slow, some have engine problems, some go green and cut out certain kinds of fuel.... but they all need oil, fuel, maintenance and protection.
We dont come with a warranty, we have to be responsible enough to keep our own selves in check.
It doesnt matter if you are foreign, or specially built, or youve been in a car accident or had parts changed or the last owner treated it badly... you're still the same kind of machine as I am.
BUT... the truth always boils down to the same two things.
1. If you truly want something, you make it happen. If you don't want it enough, you make excuses. If you don't even want to try, you make yourself a victim.
2. NO ONE BUT YOU can be the person that wakes up one morning and it all clicks into place and you know you are ready... No one can inspire you to stand up on your REAL Day 1. That moment is all you.
So if you surround yourself with people who are careful not to mention to you the reality that you are morbidly obese or just plain fat and losing control of where your body is heading, without care to change, or you surround yourself with people that say, oh you're lovely just the way you are ... and you arent happy and you dont feel lovely and you want control..... then you are going to have to shed those enablers that coddle you or you wont see the truth. They block you. You block you.
People choose blindness.
So people can come here and get upset that fat is an insult, list all the reasons why diet, exercise, sleep and water wont help them because they are special, and everyone will go one listening to them ***** and moan without changing anything real... because we know they just havent committed yet.
But when they do, and they stop making excuses and embracing the victim mentality... they will see. They will truly actually see.
Definitely. You hit the nail on the head.
Someone on facebook the other day who happens to be morbidly obese posted "Guys are so shallow. I am beautiful on the inside."
I felt like saying, yes, you are, but you are also refusing to add the you on the outside to the equation. That's the problem.
People all have different stories, but what we all have in common is that our bodies respond to proper care and maintainence as well as the lack of it.
It has to click one day. Thats basically it. You have to have that moment where starting tomorrow is no longer an option. Fat insults wont help anymore than constructive criticism- at least it never worked in my case. I had to make the choice-and need to continue to make the choice every day.
I hate that comment - it's as if it suggests that as exterior beauty increases, interior beauty decreases.
Right?!? It is a defense mechanism.
I hate it too. So because I'm not exactly Quasimodo in a skirt, I must be a horrible person?0 -
So it always gets me wondering is the denial and political correctness that prevent appropriate honesty a major cause of the increasing trend of obesity??
Yes.
We are all unique snowflakes, but we are all human.
Think of it as cars. We are all different makes, models and years. Some need more gas, some need less, some burn fast, some burn slow, some have engine problems, some go green and cut out certain kinds of fuel.... but they all need oil, fuel, maintenance and protection.
We dont come with a warranty, we have to be responsible enough to keep our own selves in check.
It doesnt matter if you are foreign, or specially built, or youve been in a car accident or had parts changed or the last owner treated it badly... you're still the same kind of machine as I am.
BUT... the truth always boils down to the same two things.
1. If you truly want something, you make it happen. If you don't want it enough, you make excuses. If you don't even want to try, you make yourself a victim.
2. NO ONE BUT YOU can be the person that wakes up one morning and it all clicks into place and you know you are ready... No one can inspire you to stand up on your REAL Day 1. That moment is all you.
So if you surround yourself with people who are careful not to mention to you the reality that you are morbidly obese or just plain fat and losing control of where your body is heading, without care to change, or you surround yourself with people that say, oh you're lovely just the way you are ... and you arent happy and you dont feel lovely and you want control..... then you are going to have to shed those enablers that coddle you or you wont see the truth. They block you. You block you.
People choose blindness.
So people can come here and get upset that fat is an insult, list all the reasons why diet, exercise, sleep and water wont help them because they are special, and everyone will go one listening to them ***** and moan without changing anything real... because we know they just havent committed yet.
But when they do, and they stop making excuses and embracing the victim mentality... they will see. They will truly actually see.
Definitely. You hit the nail on the head.
Someone on facebook the other day who happens to be morbidly obese posted "Guys are so shallow. I am beautiful on the inside."
I felt like saying, yes, you are, but you are also refusing to add the you on the outside to the equation. That's the problem.
People all have different stories, but what we all have in common is that our bodies respond to proper care and maintainence as well as the lack of it.
It has to click one day. Thats basically it. You have to have that moment where starting tomorrow is no longer an option. Fat insults wont help anymore than constructive criticism- at least it never worked in my case. I had to make the choice-and need to continue to make the choice every day.
I hate that comment - it's as if it suggests that as exterior beauty increases, interior beauty decreases.
the main part of the question here does too. many are actually confirming it.0 -
im not offended. I just dont understand how you think it is all about waking up.
I dont believe it has anything to do with other people coddling anyone.
its not anyone else's responsibility to make you admit you have a weight problem...and the reality of it is if you are on MFP you have admitted that.
but people being negative to those of us working on getting to the point they are is not helpful.
I agree we are all snowflakes, no doubt at all. but what works for one does not always work for the other. I was making the point that sitting around going oh that person is just not committed yet and saying they are just *****ing and complaining is not always the truth.
sometimes the basics of MFP (calories and exercise) are just not all that it is about. I worked at it until I figured it out. I didnt give up, I didnt make any excuses I was simply confused as to why I wasnt losing a drop when others who were not exercising were. and if you scroll through the topics being posted every day there is someone else saying for some reason they see no results, no matter what they do. its not that they are all simply not committed especially since clearly they are.
if we are all snowflakes how can you make a generalization like that?
Its all about waking up because until you wake up, you dont start running after what you want... you dilly dally in the bornder between dreams and nothingness.
If someone constantly tells a 250 pound child that they are lovely and perfect just the way they are, headed for so many health problems and heartache- that kid will hear their voice in their head when they start wondering if they really are just like all the other kids. Unfortunately, they arent. Fortunately, it can be reversed quikly! Unless they always have their people whispering in their mind 'awww you're just a widdle fwuffy' - its not coddling, its lying. Its well intended, lovely sounding, misdirected sabotage
IT SUCKS - i wish it werent true! But I wish someone had told me when I hit 200- yo Yooves... time to curb that gut before it gets outta control!
I did just say that NO ONE BUT YOU can make you start. But signing up for MFP doesnt mean you are having your 'real' day one. It just means you now talk about health stuff on the internet and even just signing up doesnt mean that you track anything- or that you are trakcing anything GOOD. Unfortunately, being on a weightloss/fitness website does not fuel your body or burn calories- it simply is one more wy to keep the idea of doing all of this in the front of your mind.
" but people being negative to those of us working on getting to the point they are is not helpful." which is why Im not being negative.
"if we are all snowflakes how can you make a generalization like that?"
Because it is true. When someone makes excuses instead of workouts. When someone eats crap all the time and complains about not making progress. When someone moans about their metabolism being hereditary, its all victim mentality until you work against your obstacles.
If you get great joy in having valid reasons why you cant succeed.. then its NOT SUCCEEDING that you love.
If you get great joy in overcoming valid obstacles, then is is SUCCEEDING that you love.0 -
I'm not fat I'm big boned, who knew bones came that big!!! I'm big or overweight, lol but I'm not fat
. My hate words are morbidly obese, I'd rather be fat, and I am, but I'd really rather be slimmer, which I will be. And I'm fat because I used to over-eat, a lot. But denial is a great place to visit occasionally, although I never denied I ate a lot, and did no exercise, I just used to deny to myself that I was that big (quick glimpse in the mirror, yeah that'll do) got me through the day, until that really wouldn't do, and I started changes, and here I am, still changing, still losing weight and now exercising. People sometimes need the epiphany moment, mine was basically if I carry on I'll either die or be housebound and I didn't really fancy either option, some people never have that moment. 0 -
My entire family is obese, has heart problems, diabetes, and cancer.
It is in my genes to be this way. I can throw up my hands and say "crap, I'm screwed.... So, pass the donuts please" OR - I can look at my soon to be 5 year old son, and imagine him saying "No, health problems don't run in my family - my mom and dad are incredibly fit!"
I can change the future by what I do through my kid, his kid's kids.... etc.
For me- I philosophized. I explained, thought, discussed - but never DID.
Starvation mode, metabolism, high protein low carb, high carb low protein, need to eat more green, more fruit, less white , less this, more that.... BLAHHHH BLAHHH BlahhHHHHHhhhHHH....
Move more, eat less. TRUE story. DONE.
End the day not stuffed.
End the day - gasp - even a little "hungry"
...Not starving. But, if asked if I could eat a meal right now, I could say "probably.... But I WON'T"
Sorry - but being fit and healthy is not always "fun" or convenient. Or easy. It is mentally and physically hard. I could easily find every excuse in the book on why I can't do it.
There is only one answer though for doing it - and it is goddam hard.
MOVE more. Eat less. Say no to almost everything that looks delicious but will make you FAT.
Yes - I said FAT.
I eat a Crumbs cupcake. I will have chips. I will have some chocolate. Even a Frappuccino once in a while.
But - I do it rarely, and my diet is so clean, and I run so many miles, that I CAN make it an official treat for myself, that I can feel comfortable knowing I am not blowing anything if I do.
I am American, and a New Yorker, BTW...0 -
I agree!! I am just starting but I would have to say my biggest excuse is finding time. I watch Biggest Loser every week and think if I could forget work and family I could spend hours working out too. Trying to find a way to fit everything in is hard and it is easier to make excuses. Just for the record I am getting better at finding time!!0
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Someone on facebook the other day who happens to be morbidly obese posted "Guys are so shallow. I am beautiful on the inside."blahblahblah my own bs
I felt like saying, yes, you are, but you are also refusing to add the you on the outside to the equation. That's the problem.
we make our friends based on their inner beauty. We start dating them if their outsides make us all urge-y as well. Sometimes the outside attraction comes irst, sometimes the inner beauty friend part comes first. Sometimes you become friends with someone because of their inner beauty, then they lose 100 lbs and suddenly they are sexy and you want to bone them. simple. true story.
Regarding that fb post, it is the exact same cop-out that guys use when they say, 'nice guys finish last'. In both cases, the girl with 'inner beauty' and the 'nice' guy both come across as insecure, which isn't really attractive to others. Not to say looks don't matter, but the person likely has a warped sense of how others actually perceive her personality.
UGH nice guys. They always spout that nice guys vs bad boys bs. There are two categories, but its not 'nice' and 'bad'.
Its...
Guys that are getting laid
Guys that aren't getting laid0 -
I got fat for two reasons. 1. I ate too many calories each day; 2. I stopped working out.
I was on fertility drugs, have thyroid issues, PCOS, etc., etc.....These are all excuses. There's no magic trick to losing weight. If there was, no one would be fat.
If Person A eats whatever they want in whatever quantity they want and stays thin, and you gained weight because you ate too many calories, does that mean you're a person of lesser character than Person A? Are you weak-willed compared to Person A? Do you deserve to be scrutinized for something that comes automatic to Person A but requires a ton of effort for you?
Not of lesser character because of metabolism or fact that they gain weight per se while Person A does not-- the personal responsibility comes into play with how we respond-- because we are all different and Person A may have to work harder to learn, or get good grades, or whatever- the key to taking responsibility for your life is that if you recognize that something you are doing needs addressing or adverse consequences will occur-it doesn't matter to you that Person A does not have this issue- what matters to you is what you do about your issue-- for Person A it might be they need to re-read a text 3 times in order to learn the information, while you get it in one sitting, while you need to watch what you eat and excercise while Person A does not....
The problem I have is what we are doing by blaming obese individuals likens to the following:
Let's say you have a classroom full of students who have a teacher that doesn't even understand the material they are lecturing. Then they take a standardized test and only 10% of the class passes. Those 10 percent who are naturally smart are praised and the other 90% are considered failures. Nobody recognizes that there is something wrong with the environment if 90% fails, but that it must be the 90% that is the problem. Each individual failed themselves. The reality is the teacher failed them. This is exactly how I see the obesity epidemic. We live in a culture where it is too easy to fall into temptation to eat bad foods and too much of them. There is no consensus over what the problem is or what the solution is. People are confused and try things that won't work for them because they don't know any better. If we could somehow change that environment, the success rate would be much higher.
The difference is, it is the duty of the teacher to teach the class, it is not he duty of society to educate us on ourselves, it is our own responsibility, we can't expect to get everything handed to us. We are adults and should start acting like it.0 -
Someone on facebook the other day who happens to be morbidly obese posted "Guys are so shallow. I am beautiful on the inside."blahblahblah my own bs
I felt like saying, yes, you are, but you are also refusing to add the you on the outside to the equation. That's the problem.
we make our friends based on their inner beauty. We start dating them if their outsides make us all urge-y as well. Sometimes the outside attraction comes irst, sometimes the inner beauty friend part comes first. Sometimes you become friends with someone because of their inner beauty, then they lose 100 lbs and suddenly they are sexy and you want to bone them. simple. true story.
Regarding that fb post, it is the exact same cop-out that guys use when they say, 'nice guys finish last'. In both cases, the girl with 'inner beauty' and the 'nice' guy both come across as insecure, which isn't really attractive to others. Not to say looks don't matter, but the person likely has a warped sense of how others actually perceive her personality.
UGH nice guys. They always spout that nice guys vs bad boys bs. There are two categories, but its not 'nice' and 'bad'.
Its...
Guys that are getting laid
Guys that aren't getting laid
Or better:
guys who make things happen
guys who wait for things to happen (but they never do)0 -
So it always gets me wondering is the denial and political correctness that prevent appropriate honesty a major cause of the increasing trend of obesity??
Yes.
We are all unique snowflakes, but we are all human................
Definitely. You hit the nail on the head.
Someone on facebook the other day who happens to be morbidly obese posted "Guys are so shallow. I am beautiful on the inside."
I felt like saying, yes, you are, but you are also refusing to add the you on the outside to the equation. That's the problem.
People all have different stories, but what we all have in common is that our bodies respond to proper care and maintainence as well as the lack of it.
It has to click one day. Thats basically it. You have to have that moment where starting tomorrow is no longer an option. Fat insults wont help anymore than constructive criticism- at least it never worked in my case. I had to make the choice-and need to continue to make the choice every day.
I hate that comment - it's as if it suggests that as exterior beauty increases, interior beauty decreases.
Right?!? It is a defense mechanism.
I hate it too. So because I'm not exactly Quasimodo in a skirt, I must be a horrible person?
Yes!!!!!!!!!
We are beautiful kind lovely supportive resourceful dependable friendly motivating hilarious compassionate hardworking women until we aren't fat anymore.
GOOD LORD, DO NOT GET HOT. Whatever you do- when you reach your goal weight...... do NOT get hotter.
Then we are hateful insulting unsupportive skinny callous b!tches on the internet that are mean to fat people and have no soul.0 -
if we are all snowflakes how can you make a generalization like that?
Because whilst people are all individuals, there are commonalities that lie in us all.
Just like all snowflakes may be different, if you attack those bad boys with a hair dryer they are all going to suffer the same fate...0 -
I got fat for two reasons. 1. I ate too many calories each day; 2. I stopped working out.
I was on fertility drugs, have thyroid issues, PCOS, etc., etc.....These are all excuses. There's no magic trick to losing weight. If there was, no one would be fat.
If Person A eats whatever they want in whatever quantity they want and stays thin, and you gained weight because you ate too many calories, does that mean you're a person of lesser character than Person A? Are you weak-willed compared to Person A? Do you deserve to be scrutinized for something that comes automatic to Person A but requires a ton of effort for you?
Not of lesser character because of metabolism or fact that they gain weight per se while Person A does not-- the personal responsibility comes into play with how we respond-- because we are all different and Person A may have to work harder to learn, or get good grades, or whatever- the key to taking responsibility for your life is that if you recognize that something you are doing needs addressing or adverse consequences will occur-it doesn't matter to you that Person A does not have this issue- what matters to you is what you do about your issue-- for Person A it might be they need to re-read a text 3 times in order to learn the information, while you get it in one sitting, while you need to watch what you eat and excercise while Person A does not....
The problem I have is what we are doing by blaming obese individuals likens to the following:
Let's say you have a classroom full of students who have a teacher that doesn't even understand the material they are lecturing. Then they take a standardized test and only 10% of the class passes. Those 10 percent who are naturally smart are praised and the other 90% are considered failures. Nobody recognizes that there is something wrong with the environment if 90% fails, but that it must be the 90% that is the problem. Each individual failed themselves. The reality is the teacher failed them. This is exactly how I see the obesity epidemic. We live in a culture where it is too easy to fall into temptation to eat bad foods and too much of them. There is no consensus over what the problem is or what the solution is. People are confused and try things that won't work for them because they don't know any better. If we could somehow change that environment, the success rate would be much higher.
The difference is, it is the duty of the teacher to teach the class, it is not he duty of society to educate us on ourselves, it is our own responsibility, we can't expect to get everything handed to us. We are adults and should start acting like it.
Well as we all know, good useful information is hard to find. There is no consensus even as to what the best approach is to make someone healthy and lose weight. Is it calories, is it carbs, is it clean whole foods, how much exercise...It needs to be a top down approach. Scientists need to reach consensus, health organizations need to unite, the media needs to report the truth, etc.
Not only that, we can't live in an environment where you have to prepare your own food and take it wherever you go because you can't trust it is even possible to find healthy food outside of your home.0 -
Are you effing kidding me?!?!?!?! You, sir, are a giant bottle of massengil!!!!!! You actually believe that I fail at life because I am not some triathelete? Or "unf**kable"? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of!!!! I was fat.......... not because I was a "slob who just want to sit around and b!tch while mindlessly pushing a$$bread down my throat".
You know what is worse than fat people. Arrogant, narrow minded jerks! I would rather be around 30 "fat slobs" than one of you.
to be fair - the article was aimed at people who blame anything but themselves for how they are. Since you are clearly well out of anybody's version of fat, and well in the category of 'hot' you needn't take any offence from the article.
Also that wolf is frikkin funny as hell
Thank you. I dont think I see me as different from the old me. I used to be WELL over 300 lbs. Because of an insulin problem. Yes, it has taken a crap load of work too, but the medicine and carb overhaul are what made the work effective. I still get prickly about it ALWAYS being from lazy gluttony. However, having someone refer to me as "hot" is pretty damn cool!0 -
if we are all snowflakes how can you make a generalization like that?
Because whilst people are all individuals, there are commonalities that lie in us all.
Just like all snowflakes may be different, if you attack those bad boys with a hair dryer they are all going to suffer the same fate...
I NOW MUST ADD YOU AS A FRIEND0 -
So it always gets me wondering is the denial and political correctness that prevent appropriate honesty a major cause of the increasing trend of obesity??
GOOD LORD, DO NOT GET HOT. Whatever you do- when you reach your goal weight...... do NOT get hotter.
Then we are hateful insulting unsupportive skinny callous b!tches on the internet that are mean to fat people and have no soul.
[/quote]
This reminds me of when I showed a coworker asking about my fitness regime a picture of my old thin self to demonstrate what my goal was. The person said, "You looked like a b*&^!" Um...well, I guess I looked a little proud of myself....but a B? I was a fat kid. I WAS proud of my accomplishment in that picture. Jeez.0 -
Your post makes total sense to me. I used to be fat (240lb. on a 5'3" frame). I looked for anything to blame but myself. Until I took responsibility for it there was no change.
I have a couple of people I know who are quite large, one in particular who asked me all the time "How did you lose the weight?" When I told her I stopped eating so much she looked at me like I had three heads.
There is no miracle cure for obesity! Eat better and exercise! That's it!
If you don't want to put the work into it, it's not going to happen.0 -
im not offended. I just dont understand how you think it is all about waking up.
I dont believe it has anything to do with other people coddling anyone.
its not anyone else's responsibility to make you admit you have a weight problem...and the reality of it is if you are on MFP you have admitted that.
but people being negative to those of us working on getting to the point they are is not helpful.
I agree we are all snowflakes, no doubt at all. but what works for one does not always work for the other. I was making the point that sitting around going oh that person is just not committed yet and saying they are just *****ing and complaining is not always the truth.
sometimes the basics of MFP (calories and exercise) are just not all that it is about. I worked at it until I figured it out. I didnt give up, I didnt make any excuses I was simply confused as to why I wasnt losing a drop when others who were not exercising were. and if you scroll through the topics being posted every day there is someone else saying for some reason they see no results, no matter what they do. its not that they are all simply not committed especially since clearly they are.
if we are all snowflakes how can you make a generalization like that?
Its all about waking up because until you wake up, you dont start running after what you want... you dilly dally in the bornder between dreams and nothingness.
If someone constantly tells a 250 pound child that they are lovely and perfect just the way they are, headed for so many health problems and heartache- that kid will hear their voice in their head when they start wondering if they really are just like all the other kids. Unfortunately, they arent. Fortunately, it can be reversed quikly! Unless they always have their people whispering in their mind 'awww you're just a widdle fwuffy' - its not coddling, its lying. Its well intended, lovely sounding, misdirected sabotage IT SUCKS - i wish it werent true! But I wish someone had told me when I hit 200- yo Yooves... time to curb that gut before it gets outta control!
I did just say that NO ONE BUT YOU can make you start. But signing up for MFP doesnt mean you are having your 'real' day one. It just means you now talk about health stuff on the internet and even just signing up doesnt mean that you track anything- or that you are trakcing anything GOOD. Unfortunately, being on a weightloss/fitness website does not fuel your body or burn calories- it simply is one more wy to keep the idea of doing all of this in the front of your mind.
" but people being negative to those of us working on getting to the point they are is not helpful." which is why Im not being negative.
"if we are all snowflakes how can you make a generalization like that?"
Because it is true. When someone makes excuses instead of workouts. When someone eats crap all the time and complains about not making progress. When someone moans about their metabolism being hereditary, its all victim mentality until you work against your obstacles.
If you get great joy in having valid reasons why you cant succeed.. then its NOT SUCCEEDING that you love.
If you get great joy in overcoming valid obstacles, then is is SUCCEEDING that you love.
we are not talking about children who arent on here. we are talking about MFP members who have or have not lost their weight. so the children are irrelevant.
no not everyone on MFP gets it right from day one...its called progress.
and yes no one but you can make a start and my point is if someone here has made, that people generalizing and pointing fingers is not always the answer. and saying we are all just *****ing and moaning is being negative. if you see someone struggling you could be the support they need to stick with it when it is hard....you were talking about people need to say something right?? well say something when you see someone is having it rough. someone who has been there is a great example to have around when you think it will never get any better.
and wow you completely refuse to see that your generalization cant work because you just said we are all snowflakes. not everyone is making excuses. sometimes you have to take into account every thing about you to make sure you are doing the best you can for you. so acknowledging you have a thyroid disorder, lupus, diabetes or anything else for that matter can sometimes be the make or break in your success. and I did not say they were reasons to fail anywhere in that post. how is it you want people to acknowledge that they are fat and need to do something but dont want them to acknowledge all the factors that play a part in it? were you the one who made the car analogy? well not everything works the same for every car, nor can every mechanic. why? because different mechanics have different specialties and/or knowledge.
success doesnt always come easy.0 -
Are you effing kidding me?!?!?!?! You, sir, are a giant bottle of massengil!!!!!! You actually believe that I fail at life because I am not some triathelete? Or "unf**kable"? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of!!!! I was fat.......... not because I was a "slob who just want to sit around and b!tch while mindlessly pushing a$$bread down my throat".
You know what is worse than fat people. Arrogant, narrow minded jerks! I would rather be around 30 "fat slobs" than one of you.
Please quote me where I said fat people were a fail at life.
And now if someone posts something, it means they agree with it. interesting
It was in one of the pictures. It was a checklist about halfway down. With no statement saying that you dont, it is easy for one to conclude that you DO agree with it. My apologies if you don't, but that was a very hateful post in general and by not disagreeing, it seemed as though you supported it.0 -
bump0
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then when you find out this is the case, change your lifestyle to fit you genetic predisposition.
Once I found out, I did change it. I was 22 by this point. I had spent the previous 12 years being fat *partially* from the condition and ignorance.0 -
im not offended. I just dont understand how you think it is all about waking up.
I dont believe it has anything to do with other people coddling anyone.
its not anyone else's responsibility to make you admit you have a weight problem...and the reality of it is if you are on MFP you have admitted that.
but people being negative to those of us working on getting to the point they are is not helpful.
I agree we are all snowflakes, no doubt at all. but what works for one does not always work for the other. I was making the point that sitting around going oh that person is just not committed yet and saying they are just *****ing and complaining is not always the truth.
sometimes the basics of MFP (calories and exercise) are just not all that it is about. I worked at it until I figured it out. I didnt give up, I didnt make any excuses I was simply confused as to why I wasnt losing a drop when others who were not exercising were. and if you scroll through the topics being posted every day there is someone else saying for some reason they see no results, no matter what they do. its not that they are all simply not committed especially since clearly they are.
if we are all snowflakes how can you make a generalization like that?
Its all about waking up because until you wake up, you dont start running after what you want... you dilly dally in the bornder between dreams and nothingness.
If someone constantly tells a 250 pound child that they are lovely and perfect just the way they are, headed for so many health problems and heartache- that kid will hear their voice in their head when they start wondering if they really are just like all the other kids. Unfortunately, they arent. Fortunately, it can be reversed quikly! Unless they always have their people whispering in their mind 'awww you're just a widdle fwuffy' - its not coddling, its lying. Its well intended, lovely sounding, misdirected sabotage IT SUCKS - i wish it werent true! But I wish someone had told me when I hit 200- yo Yooves... time to curb that gut before it gets outta control!
I did just say that NO ONE BUT YOU can make you start. But signing up for MFP doesnt mean you are having your 'real' day one. It just means you now talk about health stuff on the internet and even just signing up doesnt mean that you track anything- or that you are trakcing anything GOOD. Unfortunately, being on a weightloss/fitness website does not fuel your body or burn calories- it simply is one more wy to keep the idea of doing all of this in the front of your mind.
" but people being negative to those of us working on getting to the point they are is not helpful." which is why Im not being negative.
"if we are all snowflakes how can you make a generalization like that?"
Because it is true. When someone makes excuses instead of workouts. When someone eats crap all the time and complains about not making progress. When someone moans about their metabolism being hereditary, its all victim mentality until you work against your obstacles.
If you get great joy in having valid reasons why you cant succeed.. then its NOT SUCCEEDING that you love.
If you get great joy in overcoming valid obstacles, then is is SUCCEEDING that you love.
we are not talking about children who arent on here. we are talking about MFP members who have or have not lost their weight. so the children are irrelevant.
no not everyone on MFP gets it right from day one...its called progress.
and yes no one but you can make a start and my point is if someone here has made, that people generalizing and pointing fingers is not always the answer. and saying we are all just *****ing and moaning is being negative. if you see someone struggling you could be the support they need to stick with it when it is hard....you were talking about people need to say something right?? well say something when you see someone is having it rough. someone who has been there is a great example to have around when you think it will never get any better.
and wow you completely refuse to see that your generalization cant work because you just said we are all snowflakes. not everyone is making excuses. sometimes you have to take into account every thing about you to make sure you are doing the best you can for you. so acknowledging you have a thyroid disorder, lupus, diabetes or anything else for that matter can sometimes be the make or break in your success. and I did not say they were reasons to fail anywhere in that post. how is it you want people to acknowledge that they are fat and need to do something but dont want them to acknowledge all the factors that play a part in it? were you the one who made the car analogy? well not everything works the same for every car, nor can every mechanic. why? because different mechanics have different specialties and/or knowledge.
success doesnt always come easy.
Its not my responsibility to motivate anyone but myself and anyone I may find myself able to motivate out of love.
Its not my responsibility to open anyone else's eyes.
And it is most CERTAINLY not my responsibility to give You reading comprehension. If you cannot understand what I am saying, then I cannot continue this conversation with you.
I hope you reach all your goals and that you stop assuming that people who arent holding your hand- are automatically pointing a finger.
Good luck in life.0
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