The "Sissifying" of America...
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I blame attachment parenting and helicopter parents. I'm making sure my daughter goes to a school with teams that keep score and teachers who fail students for not doing their *kitten*.
I'm pro attachment parenting, anti helicopter parenting. For me it's an age thing- attachment parenting is for infants. It stops. Helicopter parenting is overbearing and not allowing children to be free. In my opinion, controlling to such an extreme that it hinders your child's development.
But some parents AP way beyond the infant stage.0 -
So, I attended a function my daughter had called the "Reading Olympics", last night. There were 2,000 5th graders from schools all over my area of the state. Basic premise is teams of 5th graders get asked questions about 50 books that they have read between them, meaning each kid should read about 7 books, but you can read more. You can also read less per kid; it's all up to the kids. My daughter read about 15 of the 50 books.
So, my daughter's team faced 3 other teams, one team at a time, and her team beat all 3 teams they faced... I am VERY HAPPY about that. A perfect score would be 120 points, but that would mean that your opponents answered every question wrong and your team then "stole" all their points by answering all the missed question by the other teams correctly.
Realistically, 70 points is FABULOUS..... The highest score achieved tonight was 67 points... my daughter's team scored 61, and had the 3rd most points overall.
So when it was over, my kids were told that their school won a "Blue Ribbon".... Which sounds cool, until you realize that teams that only score 45 also got a blue ribbon, as did the teams who scored above my daughter's team... From what I was told, EVERY team "won" a blue ribbon. I know I heard a lot of kids talking in the hallways about their team winning a blue ribbon.
Then over the PA system, the principal says "We have 2000 winners tonight, not a single loser in the bunch.".
This, IMO, is why the USA is backsliding. We reward losing with blue ribbons. Mediocrity is every bit as good as being awesome.... God forbid a kid doesn't learn how to lose. Kids today are not like kids from my era. We had winners. We had losers. We kept score! Can you imagine that? We kept score in athletics. The "mercy rule" in my baseball league was 12 runs in an inning, or 20 in a game. Besides the leagues that don't keep score, because "there are no losers here", ( That makes me want to shoot myself..... ) we have a league that does keep score, but the mercy rule is 4 runs...... Somebody else told me that when his kid's team started beating another team by too much, they turn the scoreboard around so the losing kids don't feel bad.
All you parents who won't let your kids learn the value of losing are only hurting your kids. America is becoming a country of sissies. We are hurting our kid's development all in the name of political correctness, and the desire that no kid should ever feel sad..... What a bunch of nonsense.
If you're a fat kid, and you're the last one picked... well, do something about it. If you are on a team that stinks, well, work to get better and learn from your failures. Nobody wins ALL THE TIME. But every time somebody tells a kid that "there are no losers here", well, you may have just turned a bunch of kids into potential losers IN LIFE.
Sorry for my rant, but I hate this "sissifying" of our country. Let your kids learn that there are winners and losers... PLEASE.
Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?0 -
Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?
Doesn't mean you born a loser. It means you were born with or developed special needs. Maybe, you shouldn't have been set-up for failure if that is the case.
You tap into the talents someone has.0 -
You can't measure success without failure. There is no value in a scoring system if there are no losers in a competition.
But there is value, especially when a child is very young, in playing rather than competing, and learning without comparing. You can score tests based on knowledge--your dreaded "standardized testing," without assuming that for one kid to do well another kid has to do less well. Every kid CAN be a winner--especially acedemically. It IS possible for there to be winners without losers.0 -
Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?
You cannot excel at everything. I would suggest in your situation that you find the area where you ARE strong and work on that instead of worrying about whether or not you can win a medal doing something that is obviously not suited to you.
In the meantime, you can participate without needing rewards and just have fun with it instead of joining in an actual competition...0 -
how is giving them a ribbon for participating coddling them???
how is it coddling six year olds to have them play a three hour t-ball game without declaring a winner or a loser???
I guess I'm just really different than y'all. And I'm pretty ok with that.
A participation ribbon is one thing... but no clear winner and loser and the same ribbon for everyone, whether they won or not IS coddling.
If it's a competition there is a winner and a loser. If it's just a demonstration then there is a participation ribbon for everyone.
Six year olds like to win just as much as adults. I remember participating in a skipping competition when I was 7 and I also remember how PROUD I was to place 26th... I also remember how devastated I was to get second place in the running competition... but win or lose I ENJOYED the competition and it pushed me to try harder and harder when I didn't win...0 -
i disagree.
and my kid is awesome.
the only way you become a winner is to not let the failures beat you down and keep trying. What is the saying? Edison didn't fail 500 times, he found 500 ways to not make a lightbulb work.
How do they know they have failed if they are rewarded for failing? You can't learn how to keep on trying or what to do if you don't understand why you failed. They can always give out a cheap reward to the losers since they are kids and put time into reading but they should give something of a better value to those who won so they know the work they did is of value. A lesser value to those who didn't win so they know it was good they participated but need to step their game up. They should not all be winners if they truly didn't win. It would be like if Edison was satisfied with one of his tries to make the lightbulb so then he decided not to keep trying, why bother? He was already a winner with his failure.0 -
Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?
Doesn't mean you born a loser. It means you were born with or developed special needs. Maybe, you shouldn't have been set-up for failure if that is the case.
You tap into the talents someone has.
All kids have special needs, not just those on the autism spectrum. All kids are different. It's possible, even desireable, to encourage kids to compare themselves to them selves, not to other kids, to measure success. You're not "sissifying" kids by asserting they can all be winners. They may not all BE winners, mind you, but it is absolutely true that they all can be.
BTW, I didn't know about my Asperger's when I was a kid. I was diagnosed as an adult. It explains a lot of the whys of my childhood, but, because my IQ is actually high (which isn't unusual with Asperger's) I received no special attention in school. I dreaded phys ed classes, where I'd be made fun of and explicitly called a "loser" regularly becaaquse of things I could do nothing about.0 -
I agree, I think it doesn't give the kids who worked their *kitten* off their Just Due.0
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I'm sorry for what you experienced. Thank you for defending me.
Ahhh and my job here is done. Look, at this ^^^ your own statement. Someone defended you on the internet. SO YES, YOU CAN BE DEFENDED ON THE INTERNET which is contrary to your own belief that each child is an island on the internet in a sea full of heartless sharks looking to tear them to bits.
I'm not a heartless person, if I was, I wouldn't be a nurse. I'm not sure where in my statements you got that I'm a heartless b!tch but you're clearly taking this topic entirely too personally for what was once a reasonable debate. This would probably be a good time to just step away from the computer and go play outside.0 -
My Newphew has played on a little league football team forever and they always keep score.
The kids even keep score and they may cry when they loose, but they just get back out there the
next game and play harder.0 -
Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?
You cannot excel at everything. I would suggest in your situation that you find the area where you ARE strong and work on that instead of worrying about whether or not you can win a medal doing something that is obviously not suited to you.
In the meantime, you can participate without needing rewards and just have fun with it instead of joining in an actual competition...
EXACTLY! The value is in participation! SO we need to REWARD participation--especially when they are CHILDREN! There is no need for children to compare themselves to others--only to themselves. I should strive to be the best ME I can be!
And you don't answer my question. The OP said if you're the one who is always picked last and you don't like it you should do something about it. What should I have done? The OP's child was in a competition that all the kids participated in, it wasn't something you chose to do. In what way is it not abusive to force kids to compete when some of them are not ABLE to do as well as others, then label the ones who don't do well as "losers?" In a state spelling bee or the like, kids are choosing to participate in a competition, and there are and should be clear winners and losers. When a whole class or school has something like this it is an "activity" and children should be rewarded simply for participation. They are all winners.0 -
Our kids feel like they are entitled to everything and not have to work for it. and a big majority of them do not have any form of respect for them selves and others.Some of this should be taught at home.0
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I don't raise my kids with the 'everyone's a winner' attitude. Sometimes, they lose.. sometimes, they really really do a poor job. I do let them know that they can work harder, study harder, try again or ask questions to see where mistakes happen. Even then, they still might not be the winner, but we focus on self-improvement. I don't say 'awwww, good job' when they don't do a good job.... when they were little, if I said 'awwww, good job' everytime they didn't tie their shoes correctly, they would still be unable to tie their shoes, etc. I didn't gripe at them for not being able, but I did go over the process and urge them to try again. I want children that are self-sufficient and that can make their way in the world. My boys are 7 years old and they can put clothes from the washer into the dryer, fold and put away their own laundry, take out the trash and put a new empty bag in the can, make their own snacks or breakfast in the microwave or toaster, they can tie their shoes, read & write at a pretty high level and I don't cut them any undue slack. When I say 'take out the trash', it's done and then applauded for the accomplishment... not beforehand. When I was in school, the thing that made me try harder was when I didn't win... or do the best... or get the prize. Then, I was out for blood (figuratively, of course) the next go round!0
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EXACTLY! The value is in participation! SO we need to REWARD participation--especially when they are CHILDREN! There is no need for children to compare themselves to others--only to themselves. I should strive to be the best ME I can be!
And you don't answer my question. The OP said if you're the one who is always picked last and you don't like it you should do something about it. What should I have done? The OP's child was in a competition that all the kids participated in, it wasn't something you chose to do. In what way is it not abusive to force kids to compete when some of them are not ABLE to do as well as others, then label the ones who don't do well as "losers?" In a state spelling bee or the like, kids are choosing to participate in a competition, and there are and should be clear winners and losers. When a whole class or school has something like this it is an "activity" and children should be rewarded simply for participation. They are all winners.
I disagree. Competition can be healthy and perfectly good for children too but you MUST know your child and choose competitions that will suit them. Even then they may lose but so what? Losing isn't the end of the world.
What's with the big stigma to the word 'loser'. There CAN be only ONE winner. One person who wins the job interview. One person who wins the promotion. One person who wins the lottery...
This is just part of life and we may as well learn this young so we can learn how to deal with it.
Self-esteem issues have nothing to do with having lost so many competitions but with something much deeper. I know. I lost pretty much every competition I ever entered and it had NOTHING to do with my poor self esteem issues.
What should you do about it if you're always last and always the loser? Find a new thing to compete in and/or work harder.
I don't think you can learn that winning isn't everything if you haven't experienced losing. I really don't.
PS: When I say you must know your child I mean you must know they are physically and mentally capable of partaking in whatever competition they're partaking in. There are some things certain children just CANNOT do well, no matter how much effort they put in and they shouldn't be forced to participate in those things in that case.0 -
Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?
Doesn't mean you born a loser. It means you were born with or developed special needs. Maybe, you shouldn't have been set-up for failure if that is the case.
You tap into the talents someone has.
All kids have special needs, not just those on the autism spectrum. All kids are different. It's possible, even desireable, to encourage kids to compare themselves to them selves, not to other kids, to measure success. You're not "sissifying" kids by asserting they can all be winners. They may not all BE winners, mind you, but it is absolutely true that they all can be.
BTW, I didn't know about my Asperger's when I was a kid. I was diagnosed as an adult. It explains a lot of the whys of my childhood, but, because my IQ is actually high (which isn't unusual with Asperger's) I received no special attention in school. I dreaded phys ed classes, where I'd be made fun of and explicitly called a "loser" regularly becaaquse of things I could do nothing about.
I think you are hung up on the bullying side of it when the issue at hand is whether not declaring "winners" or "losers" is making "sissys" of this generation. Should you have been bullied because you weren't as coordinated at sports as other kids? No, ofcourse not. I think what most people are trying to say on here is that during competitions, whether that be athletic or academic, there should be a clear cut winner. No one is saying a kid should be bullied for not excelling in a particular area. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and by having competitions with a "winner" and "loser" our youth will be able to better hone in on what they do well at.0 -
what about the kid that worked his *kitten* off to be #1? he's going to get the same trophy as the kid that did terrible. whats the point in trying hard for anything?0
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I agree, I think it doesn't give the kids who worked their *kitten* off their Just Due.
I guess I don't know that they are "just due" it. Lots of times the kids who don't do well worked JUST AS HARD as the ones who did very well, they simply had a bigger hill to climb, if you will. Why should the "score" detewrmine who gets the most praise? Maybe they should have done IQ tests and looked at life circumstances before hand and based the "winners" on whose score represented the most work considering the kid's limitations, rather than the raw score? Because I ALSO didn't get any extra praise for always having the highest score on the tests in school. I was told that was "expected" because my IQ made that easier for me.
When kids are kids, comparing them to each other when their skills and gifts are so varied, is simply not fair to them. Kids should be praised and rewarded based on participating, especially if it's something they are not naturally good at.
In fifth grade, the winner isn't always the one who worked the hardest.0 -
Pffttt...I don't even HAVE any of my old blue ribbons, and I got them back in the days when they were awarded because I was legitimately better than everyone else. But you know what? It doesn't matter, because I still have the memory of being better than everyone.
And your daughter still knows her team had the 3rd most points overall...regardless of what color her ribbon is. Maybe you can point that out to her, after you're done chastising her for only ending up in 3rd place. Sheesh!0 -
what about the kid that worked his *kitten* off to be #1? he's going to get the same trophy as the kid that did terrible. whats the point in trying hard for anything?
What about the kid who works JUST AS HARD and could never be #1 no matter what? It's plenty soon for them to compete on that level when they are in HS and college. Fifth graders should be rewarded for working hard, no matter where they rank in the scoring. The kid who worked the hardest might also be the one who came in last.0 -
Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?
Doesn't mean you born a loser. It means you were born with or developed special needs. Maybe, you shouldn't have been set-up for failure if that is the case.
You tap into the talents someone has.
All kids have special needs, not just those on the autism spectrum. All kids are different. It's possible, even desireable, to encourage kids to compare themselves to them selves, not to other kids, to measure success. You're not "sissifying" kids by asserting they can all be winners. They may not all BE winners, mind you, but it is absolutely true that they all can be.
BTW, I didn't know about my Asperger's when I was a kid. I was diagnosed as an adult. It explains a lot of the whys of my childhood, but, because my IQ is actually high (which isn't unusual with Asperger's) I received no special attention in school. I dreaded phys ed classes, where I'd be made fun of and explicitly called a "loser" regularly becaaquse of things I could do nothing about.
I think you are hung up on the bullying side of it when the issue at hand is whether not declaring "winners" or "losers" is making "sissys" of this generation. Should you have been bullied because you weren't as coordinated at sports as other kids? No, ofcourse not. I think what most people are trying to say on here is that during competitions, whether that be athletic or academic, there should be a clear cut winner. No one is saying a kid should be bullied for not excelling in a particular area. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and by having competitions with a "winner" and "loser" our youth will be able to better hone in on what they do well at.
And I agree with you, BUT whenever children are required to participate then there needs to be no winners and losers. Only when children and their parent's can choose not to participate should we be choosing winners.0 -
Pffttt...I don't even HAVE any of my old blue ribbons, and I got them back in the days when they were awarded because I was legitimately better than everyone else. But you know what? It doesn't matter, because I still have the memory of being better than everyone.
And your daughter still knows her team had the 3rd most points overall...regardless of what color her ribbon is. Maybe you can point that out to her, after you're done chastising her for only ending up in 3rd place. Sheesh!
And indeed that is the whole point. Coming in first, or third, in a reading competition or any other competition doesn't make you "better" than anyone. The kids who consistently beat me in sports in elementary school are not "better" than me any more than I am "better" than them because I kicked their butts on every test given throughout our entire school career.0 -
Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?
Doesn't mean you born a loser. It means you were born with or developed special needs. Maybe, you shouldn't have been set-up for failure if that is the case.
You tap into the talents someone has.
All kids have special needs, not just those on the autism spectrum. All kids are different. It's possible, even desireable, to encourage kids to compare themselves to them selves, not to other kids, to measure success. You're not "sissifying" kids by asserting they can all be winners. They may not all BE winners, mind you, but it is absolutely true that they all can be.
BTW, I didn't know about my Asperger's when I was a kid. I was diagnosed as an adult. It explains a lot of the whys of my childhood, but, because my IQ is actually high (which isn't unusual with Asperger's) I received no special attention in school. I dreaded phys ed classes, where I'd be made fun of and explicitly called a "loser" regularly becaaquse of things I could do nothing about.
I think you are hung up on the bullying side of it when the issue at hand is whether not declaring "winners" or "losers" is making "sissys" of this generation. Should you have been bullied because you weren't as coordinated at sports as other kids? No, ofcourse not. I think what most people are trying to say on here is that during competitions, whether that be athletic or academic, there should be a clear cut winner. No one is saying a kid should be bullied for not excelling in a particular area. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and by having competitions with a "winner" and "loser" our youth will be able to better hone in on what they do well at.
And I agree with you, BUT whenever children are required to participate then there needs to be no winners and losers. Only when children and their parent's can choose not to participate should we be choosing winners.
Disagree. Life isn't something you get to choose to take part in, and if you aint winning, you're losing. I was always expected to do my best, whatever that was, and if I didn't do well I didn't get put down about it, but also wasn't told 'You did so well! Here, have a cookie!'. When I won, I was rewarded and it taught me and most of the other people in this thread the importance of hard work and pushing yourself to succeed.0 -
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-who-didnt-get-what-they-wanted-for-christm
I Read this and wanted to slap all of them
I was lucky enough to miss the "snowflake generation" by like 2-3 years or so, I mean seriously I saw the beginning of it in highschool, with the difference in attitudes, from gr 12 that I was in to the new grade 9's coming in, it was frightening.
My kids are gonna have to pay for everything themselves, I do not care how much they complain. I never did the helicopter parenting thing myself, my favorite thing about that is the time my son who was 4 at the time was playing lacrosse got hammered in the chest and knocked on his a** he got up looked over at me, I smiled at him and he got right into playing again, same thing would have happened to another kid and probably would have ended in tears. No special snowflakes in my house lol (that being said if they are really hurt they cry and i comfort them, but i am glad i have taught him the difference already)
one of the best feelings I ever had was after royally failing calculus with style, then going to summer school and literally doubling my percentage, through trying incredibly hard. Wouldn't have had to do that if the grading system is how it is now0 -
Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?
Doesn't mean you born a loser. It means you were born with or developed special needs. Maybe, you shouldn't have been set-up for failure if that is the case.
You tap into the talents someone has.
All kids have special needs, not just those on the autism spectrum. All kids are different. It's possible, even desireable, to encourage kids to compare themselves to them selves, not to other kids, to measure success. You're not "sissifying" kids by asserting they can all be winners. They may not all BE winners, mind you, but it is absolutely true that they all can be.
BTW, I didn't know about my Asperger's when I was a kid. I was diagnosed as an adult. It explains a lot of the whys of my childhood, but, because my IQ is actually high (which isn't unusual with Asperger's) I received no special attention in school. I dreaded phys ed classes, where I'd be made fun of and explicitly called a "loser" regularly becaaquse of things I could do nothing about.
I think you are hung up on the bullying side of it when the issue at hand is whether not declaring "winners" or "losers" is making "sissys" of this generation. Should you have been bullied because you weren't as coordinated at sports as other kids? No, ofcourse not. I think what most people are trying to say on here is that during competitions, whether that be athletic or academic, there should be a clear cut winner. No one is saying a kid should be bullied for not excelling in a particular area. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and by having competitions with a "winner" and "loser" our youth will be able to better hone in on what they do well at.
And I agree with you, BUT whenever children are required to participate then there needs to be no winners and losers. Only when children and their parent's can choose not to participate should we be choosing winners.
Disagree. Life isn't something you get to choose to take part in, and if you aint winning, you're losing. I was always expected to do my best, whatever that was, and if I didn't do well I didn't get put down about it, but also wasn't told 'You did so well! Here, have a cookie!'. When I won, I was rewarded and it taught me and most of the other people in this thread the importance of hard work and pushing yourself to succeed.
So the take away from this thread is "there is only one winner" and "if you ain't winning, you're losing." That right? We should make fifth graders feel like losers no matter how hard they work unless they are the winner in a school event? BTW, the OP's daughter's team DIDN'T win--they were third. Losers?
And it's sad that you weren't told you did well when you worked hard for something, even if you didn't win. Because you DID do well if you did the best you could, and you deserved to be rewarded for that. If you truly did the very best you could, and you said you were always expected to do that, then not rewarding you for that hard work will never improve your performance, ever.0 -
Should we not have the Olympics either? Just give everyone a medal and call it a day?0
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Should we not have the Olympics either? Just give everyone a medal and call it a day?
As I clearly said, older kids and adults who choose to compete, should have definite winners. Fifth graders are not required to participate in the Olympics. Adolescents and adults choose to participate. There is a huge difference.0 -
I am not an expert...but, olympians do train when they are children...MN hockey, kids start when they are 3, it's almost cult'ish and sad. But, that's the way it is.0
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I'm amazed that some of you actually don't see anything wrong with giving all the kids the same blue ribbon. If a child does not have the ability to excel at something, that is the hand they were dealt.
This is the kind of stuff that causes people to think they are entitled to everything for doing nothing.0 -
As the late and great George Carlin once said:
"You're a fu***** loser Bobby"
He said this of course in the context that everybody should hear this, it allows for personal growth!0
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