The "Sissifying" of America...

papa3x

So, I attended a function my daughter had called the "Reading Olympics", last night. There were 2,000 5th graders from schools all over my area of the state. Basic premise is teams of 5th graders get asked questions about 50 books that they have read between them, meaning each kid should read about 7 books, but you can read more. You can also read less per kid; it's all up to the kids. My daughter read about 15 of the 50 books.

So, my daughter's team faced 3 other teams, one team at a time, and her team beat all 3 teams they faced... I am VERY HAPPY about that. A perfect score would be 120 points, but that would mean that your opponents answered every question wrong and your team then "stole" all their points by answering all the missed question by the other teams correctly.

Realistically, 70 points is FABULOUS..... The highest score achieved tonight was 67 points... my daughter's team scored 61, and had the 3rd most points overall.

So when it was over, my kids were told that their school won a "Blue Ribbon".... Which sounds cool, until you realize that teams that only score 45 also got a blue ribbon, as did the teams who scored above my daughter's team... From what I was told, EVERY team "won" a blue ribbon. I know I heard a lot of kids talking in the hallways about their team winning a blue ribbon.

Then over the PA system, the principal says "We have 2000 winners tonight, not a single loser in the bunch.".

This, IMO, is why the USA is backsliding. We reward losing with blue ribbons. Mediocrity is every bit as good as being awesome.... God forbid a kid doesn't learn how to lose. Kids today are not like kids from my era. We had winners. We had losers. We kept score! Can you imagine that? We kept score in athletics. The "mercy rule" in my baseball league was 12 runs in an inning, or 20 in a game. Besides the leagues that don't keep score, because "there are no losers here", ( That makes me want to shoot myself..... ) we have a league that does keep score, but the mercy rule is 4 runs...... Somebody else told me that when his kid's team started beating another team by too much, they turn the scoreboard around so the losing kids don't feel bad.

All you parents who won't let your kids learn the value of losing are only hurting your kids. America is becoming a country of sissies. We are hurting our kid's development all in the name of political correctness, and the desire that no kid should ever feel sad..... What a bunch of nonsense.

If you're a fat kid, and you're the last one picked... well, do something about it. If you are on a team that stinks, well, work to get better and learn from your failures. Nobody wins ALL THE TIME. But every time somebody tells a kid that "there are no losers here", well, you may have just turned a bunch of kids into potential losers IN LIFE.

Sorry for my rant, but I hate this "sissifying" of our country. Let your kids learn that there are winners and losers... PLEASE.

BAMFMeredith

I totally agree with you. My son was in a t-ball league last season (ok he was 4) that didn't keep score, let ALL the kids bat, didn't make the kids go to the dugout when they got out, but let them continue to stay on base, and there was zero competition in it. While I understand they're 4 year olds and they're just learning the game, it was so annoying to me. Even my son was kind of bored.

I've put him in a different league for this season (he's 5 now) and you bet they're competitive! 4 run max per inning, 3 out max, and when you get out, you're OUT like in normal baseball, and there is a winning team and a losing team. The coach is awesome, my son's team has lost 2 games so far and even though they know they've lost the game the coach is really uplifting and lets them know "that's why we practice, and you all did a great job" etc. Since moving to a more competitive league, sure my son gets upset if he gets out or something, but he also has more fun playing the game because it's like what he sees on TV. And he's gotten SO much better in just a couple months!

We teach our kids that mediocrity is ok now, and we're totally screwed when the country is in their hands.

Carl01

Agree completely and think it is a terrible thing.
Self esteem can be taught without sacrificing pride of accomplishment.

We have taught a generation of "special snowflakes" that they are entitled to have all perceived wrongs righted.
It has left people helpless to fend for themselves in life and unable to cope with the unalterable fact that the world is neither fair nor easy much of the time.

Jacwhite22

On that note.....I coach my son's soccer team.....They are 5. We don't "officially" keep score.....but I do. And we dont keep track of who scores......but I do. And at the end of the game I tell them if they won or lost and who scored goals, etc........ok......they didn't lose last season and haven't started games this season but when they lose I will tell them......because it will make them work harder to win. Nobody wants to lose. I actually had coaches ask me to have my players take it easy last season because we would be up by like 6 goals........I will make sure all the players get equal time and won't play the best players any more than the others etc....but I'll be darned if I am going to tell 5 year olds not to try their best and give it everything they've got.

elysianashes

Definitely with you on this. Why is it so important to people that their kid never lose? How are they ever going to have pride in something they did well, if the kid who didn't try at all gets just as much praise? It just makes their hard work seem meaningless. I think it's setting kids up for something bad in the future when they are told they didn't do something right, and they have no idea how to react to that.

DeeJayTJ

i completely agree! I'm sick and tired of the way things are going and getting much worse, telling kids these days its okay to lose, its okay to be wrong.

my brother who is 18 was babied all his life and told "oh its okay!" now hes a bum. never had a job, depends on my parents for everything, HAS BEEN ARRESTED before and still continues to be babied and told ITS OKAY.

it all starts with the "politically correct" thing about not letting something so normal as a "Merry Christmas" be offensive to anyone.

catfish9

I agree as well! As much as everyone wants to see happy children being rewarded for their achievements, I really don't think that this is doing them any favors in the long run. I feel like they're being set up for some huge disappointments. The 'real world,' such as it is, don't give everyone a blue ribbon. You really have to bust your butt for recognition most of the time, and even then, acknowledgement for it may never come.

I was on a softball team in 6th grade, and we lost every single game for the entire season. I'd like to say that there were some close calls, but we were AWFUL. We became the running joke among all of the other teams. However, we had fun. We played hard, we played fair, and there were a lot of opportunities for us to learn from our losses and our mistakes.

nisijam5

Here's a good one, my high school student wasn't handing the work on time. Well, we go to conferences and the teacher says "He has plenty of time to make it up, I'll let him hand it in late". Hubs is like, "Fail him". Bottom line is, it affects their "numbers" if you have a bunch of kids who fail. They let him slide.

Oh, here's the new thing now you don't get zeros for not handing in work, you get 50% because it brings down the grade too much.

alliecat40

Amen well said

AdrienneKaren

THANK YOU!!! These days, kids don't know how to lose, they don't know what discipline is, they eat like crap, and then we wonder what the heck is wrong in this country! I find it absolutely ridiculous. Making mistakes and losing are part of life. That's how we learn how to do things right and work our *kitten* off and be good people. Sheesh. Now I'm all fired up.

MassiveDelta

Here's a good one, my high school student wasn't handing the work on time. Well, we go to conferences and the teacher says "He has plenty of time to make it up, I'll let him hand it in late". Hubs is like, "Fail him". Bottom line is, it affects their "numbers" if you have a bunch of kids who fail. They let him slide.

Oh, here's the new thing now you don't get zeros for not handing in work, you get 50% because it brings down the grade too much.

My Dad just tried to explain this too me a month ago and quite honestly I think the principal brain washed him because he doesn't think this way. UGHH that makes me sick

Alicia7896

Word. I was in elementary school in the eighties and there were definitely winners and losers both academically and athletically. Sometimes I was a winner (usually academically) sometimes I was a loser (usually...er...always athletically). I was taught that was just life. I was a smart kid and even a bit competitive. I don't know if competition fueled those qualities in me or if I simply brought that to the competition, but I credit that learning environment for the skills I have as an adult which are skills that, sadly, I see lacking in the generation that is coming up behind me.

BriskaPacojame

Agreed, wholeheartedly. Isn't there a saying "you win some, you lose some?"

8bitAlina

YES!! I agree with this totally. You have to make mistakes, that's how you learn.

MassiveDelta

Also to the OP you are so right and Im 100% on board with what you said. Our country is definitely losing because of this.

laughingnome

My son played high school football. They had 75 kids on the team because they don't cut. Not all the kids play but have to practice for 11 months. I think it's rediculous..they don't want to hurt feelings but how is it when you show up for every game and never get onto the field. We are raising a bunch of sissys. P.S. my son did play

Tropical_Turtle

I am so with you on this - not everyone in life is a winner. There are winners and losers. Easier for them to learn this at an early age. Breaks my heart this country has turned to the "everyone is a winner" - they will be heartbroken when they get out in the real world and realize life is not like that.

You can have fun and still lose a game - it is ok.

meshashesha2012

building false self-esteem to the point where these people grow up cocky and arrogant.

what sucks for them is that sometimes during their adult lives, life will slap them in the face with a failure and they wont be equipped with the tools to deal with that.

the only reason why i've been able to deal with the failures in my life - and by that i mean the things that you try really hard at but fail nonetheless - is because i think back to the advice i got when i was in 5th grade when i lost at something that i really really wanted. how else are you going to teach kids to pick themselves up, brush themselves off and try again.

EpiGaiaRepens

i disagree.

and my kid is awesome.

the only way you become a winner is to not let the failures beat you down and keep trying. What is the saying? Edison didn't fail 500 times, he found 500 ways to not make a lightbulb work.

Jesea

I agree with you overall, except that I think that when younger kids are learning how to play games initially, it's ok to not keep score. The first year my son played baseball, each kid got to bat, then run the bases. There were no outs and each kid ran home. It was a great introduction to the sport. That being said, however, I disagreed with each kid getting a trophy at the end of the season. A certificate of participation would have been plenty! His soccer league has also not kept score thus far, although several of the coaches offer "points" during the games whenever they see the players showing "moves" that they have been working on at practice. Competition can be a great motivator, and I look forward to cheering his teams on!

JessiC1984

Canada is getting just as bad. It makes me sad.

kapeluza

You can thank all the f%cking helicopter parents for that.

SofaKingRad

It's pathetic. It ruins any drive for competition and improvement. Why is anyone going to want to strive to be the best or push themselves the hardest if their payoff is the same as everyone else's?

Bikini27

I remember Participation Medals being handed out when I was younger, but everyone knew who WON and who didn't.
And those with a drive to win and to be better had a goal.
Now these kids won't have "goals" because they're all unique little snowflakes and every last one of them is perfect.

I am sad for our country.

crisanderson27

I agree. There isn't anything more to say than that.

BAMFMeredith

Here's a good one, my high school student wasn't handing the work on time. Well, we go to conferences and the teacher says "He has plenty of time to make it up, I'll let him hand it in late". Hubs is like, "Fail him". Bottom line is, it affects their "numbers" if you have a bunch of kids who fail. They let him slide.

Oh, here's the new thing now you don't get zeros for not handing in work, you get 50% because it brings down the grade too much.

My Dad just tried to explain this too me a month ago and quite honestly I think the principal brain washed him because he doesn't think this way. UGHH that makes me sick

My mom is a high school teacher by day, personal trainer by night, and you bet your *kitten* she has no problem failing a kid for not doing their work. HOWEVER...the way the public education system in Texas is, teachers have almost stopped giving a *kitten* because they force the standardized testing issue down their throats and the whole "no child left behind" crap. Leave some children behind, dammit! Let teachers actually teach, make kids actually work, and if kids don't do the work, they fail. Period.

Omg, and the helicopter parents thing, my mom was a private school principal for a while and those are the WORST. She could go on for hours about those damn helicopter parents!

emilyhawarah

I also agree fully!! In a healthy world, when we have normal amounts of disappointment, we usually tend to turn that into becoming better.

tig_ol_bitties

I couldn't agree with this any more. All it's doing is breeding entitled little brats that grow up to be even bigger entitled brats.

tinamina78

100% agreed

PlanetVelma

I agree! Thankfully my son went into ROTC in high school and that has really helped him learn life lessons. Why? Because not everyone can be the commander. Not everyone will get promoted and last week before spring break the Major demoted everyone who didn't wear their uniform, including the #2 guy. Is it fair? Probably not. But neither is life.

My kids USED to tell me "that's not fair, Mom" and I would remind them "Get used to it, life isn't fair". Now they tell their friends the whole "Life isn't fair" line. HA!

MrsM1ggins

The crazy thing is that this is supposed to 'help' them, but it leaves them totally unprepared for real life.

They spend their school years constantly being told that they're great, amazing, unique etc and then they enter the world of work with a massively overdeveloped ego and often a correspondingly massive overestimation of their own worth.

I'm sure anyone who has ever interviewed young people as part of a recruitment process knows exactly what that's like. :grumble: