The "Sissifying" of America...

77tes

I think the principal meant that everyone won because all the kids read a bunch of books. Sort of like on MFP -- al the folks who are taking control of their lives are winners. And like another poster said, the kids always know who did the best.

I'm not saying that sissifying isn't happening. I'm just saying this isn't much of an example.

penrbrown

I spent my childhood LOSING and I am none the worse for it. It pushed me to try harder. It pushed me to do my best. If you 'win' even when you lose... what's the point of giving it your all?

I really hate this new 'everyone is a winner' attitude.

No. We aren't all winners. And that makes the winning so much SWEETER when it DOES happen... because you lost so much and worked SO HARD to win!!!!

ThePhoenixRose

my husband is a college professor, and he *****es about this all the time. he has students who come to class totally unprepared and don't understand why they are not passing. he's had kids tell him, flat-out, that in high school, they came to class and didn't cause trouble, and they got decent grades. they never realized they'd have to actually study, turn in work, etc. in college. Can you imagine?!?!

momof8munchkins

AGREED! People are too busy pampering the little precious and making sure their days are only filled with unicorns and rainbows to teach them about real life.. All that accomplishes is a nation full of spoiled adults.

frogman4591

It is known as "The duming down of America"

Elizabeth_C34

my husband is a college professor, and he *****es about this all the time. he has students who come to class totally unprepared and don't understand why they are not passing. he's had kids tell him, flat-out, that in high school, they came to class and didn't cause trouble, and they got decent grades. they never realized they'd have to actually study, turn in work, etc. in college. Can you imagine?!?!

EXACTLY the same thing I see teaching undergrads. I even see it periodically in graduate students which is really mind-boggling.

IARXPHD

The "Trophy for Breathing" generation is a NIGHTMARE to teach in college. Too many have such unearned ego that they think they know everything. And heaven forbid you ask them to work hard.
Go to Hulu and look for the SNL Skit "You can do ANYTHING". Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

TK266

it is not like this is a new problem. I saw the same thing when I was kid back in the 1970's. half the time I think statements like this fall in the the category of "kids today have it too easy, why when I was a kid ...." which for the most part is looking back though the rose colored glasses of nostalgia, IMHO.

but that is OK, cuz now everyone can post how their childhood was much rougher then kids today to prove me wrong. :laugh:

ironanimal

I don't necessarily disagree with you OP, but what is the value of losing?

Teaches the value of hard work and self-independence.

rockerbabyy

COMPLETELY agree! my kids are 5 and 6 and when we first started playing board games there would be huge tantrums if they didnt win - theyve finally figured out (or got sick of me saying) life isnt fair, and you dont always win. if you dont like the outcome, try harder. havent had/noticed issues at school yet, but just one is in kindergarten - im sure itll come up some time lol

sjkcarter

Totally agree. I don't have kids, but I work in the financial aid office at a community college and the student here have such a feeling of entitlement. But out higher up don't help either. If you have failed every class you have taken and are on suspension and our office denies your appeal based in the fact that you have not shown any effort or successful progress, all the student has to do is fuss and yell and treating to sue and that get whatever they want. What is the point to school if were teaching people that they don't have to work hard to succeed.

IARXPHD

What you do is take the trophy and give it to the local Special Olympics for the kids who really do appreciate it, and who DO have a hard road ahead of them.

Elizabeth_C34

What you do is take the trophy and give it to the local Special Olympics for the kids who really do appreciate it, and who DO have a hard road ahead of them.

I like this idea.

myak623

i disagree.

and my kid is awesome.

the only way you become a winner is to not let the failures beat you down and keep trying. What is the saying? Edison didn't fail 500 times, he found 500 ways to not make a lightbulb work.

He may have learned something different each time, but each time he didn't get it right was a failure.

And, I'm sure your kid is awesome. That wasn't the point of the OP.

Meaganandcheese

The crazy thing is that this is supposed to 'help' them, but it leaves them totally unprepared for real life.

They spend their school years constantly being told that they're great, amazing, unique etc and then they enter the world of work with a massively overdeveloped ego and often a correspondingly massive overestimation of their own worth.

I'm sure anyone who has ever interviewed young people as part of a recruitment process knows exactly what that's like. :grumble:

I work in college recruiting for a fortune 500. I talk to college students and recent grads for 90% of my day. Hiring and managing the Millennial attitude (I like to call them the Self Esteem Generation) is a huge HR initiative for us. The "real world" is changing to meet them, for better or worse.

sassylilmama

This is why I am honest with my kids. I let them know there is always room for improvement, they do not get everything they want and understand they are not always going to be the star of everything.

Oh and theses parents that do all the work for their kids, you are not doing them any favors either. My daughters class just had a big project and it was clear many parents did the work.

EpiGaiaRepens

i disagree.

and my kid is awesome.

the only way you become a winner is to not let the failures beat you down and keep trying. What is the saying? Edison didn't fail 500 times, he found 500 ways to not make a lightbulb work.

And had he been sufficiently rewarded for those 500 failures, he might never have found the need to go on to find the one success.

BS. What you guys are talking about is about giving kids posivibes even when they don't win like it's some crime against humanity. My son always gets told he did good even when he fails because i'm not gonna emotionally abuse him for not being the best at everything. Trying, and continuing to try, is what matters.

Scott613

What's the point of winning if everybody gets one of these.

lucythinmint

AMEN!!!!

I have 4 children and I fully agree with this.

myak623

i disagree.

and my kid is awesome.

the only way you become a winner is to not let the failures beat you down and keep trying. What is the saying? Edison didn't fail 500 times, he found 500 ways to not make a lightbulb work.

And had he been sufficiently rewarded for those 500 failures, he might never have found the need to go on to find the one success.

BS. What you guys are talking about is about giving kids posivibes even when they don't win like it's some crime against humanity. My son always gets told he did good even when he fails because i'm not gonna emotionally abuse him for not being the best at everything. Trying, and continuing to try, is what matters.

I think you might be missing the point a little. Being told you're a failure is much different than being allowed to fail.

raydot

I have to speak on behalf of the babied generation. YES the grand majority of us are whiny brats with smug senses of self entitlement that they totally do not deserve. They have been babied and are almost intolerable wusses for it. They need to learn how to lose and accept criticism. I agree with you wholeheartedly in that respect.

BUT REGARDING COLLEGE: the college process is not the same. To the university professors, I am sorry, this really is going to sound offensive for which I will admit forthright, but I have to assume you are not teaching at an upper tier school. There will inevitably be good students and bad students at every level but in order to get into prestigious universities (provided you don't have enough money to donate a hall) you have to work *hard*. I mean *hard*. This is the hardest thing my peers (middle class American high school students) will work for. I'm not kidding when I say they develop stomach ulcers, scratch themselves until they bleed, and contemplate suicide over college. The high school system is not like it used to be. It is a butt busting, brain numbing, grueling test of endurance for kids that want to get into good colleges. They *do* work hard in that respect and if they take a college level courseload, they are more than prepared for college. *Every* IB diploma student at my school has come back saying college was significantly easier than high school.

Sorry, I just wanted to say my piece. It's a little off topic but please don't equate my generation's sissy attitude with their school ethic, because I'd say half of the middle class kids go to hell and back, and end up more than prepared for the difficulty of college. They're not intellectuals, school has more or less stifled their curiosity and creativity, but they can take a college class and pass with flying colors.

DFWTT

NANNY STATE. We'll all be losers soon enough. The world owes us something and entitlements will be given to all. bbaaaaaa!

rockerbabyy

i disagree.

and my kid is awesome.

the only way you become a winner is to not let the failures beat you down and keep trying. What is the saying? Edison didn't fail 500 times, he found 500 ways to not make a lightbulb work.

And had he been sufficiently rewarded for those 500 failures, he might never have found the need to go on to find the one success.

BS. What you guys are talking about is about giving kids posivibes even when they don't win like it's some crime against humanity. My son always gets told he did good even when he fails because i'm not gonna emotionally abuse him for not being the best at everything. Trying, and continuing to try, is what matters.

theres a big difference between telling your kid he sucks because hes not the best and telling him "im sorry you didnt win, maybe we can practice more" or "maybe next time" - say good job, but follow that with how they can improve if they want.
its not emotional abuse to help your kids learn that life isnt fair and not everyone will tell you "good job" when you lose. no need to get a participation ribbon/trophy - to me that just makes the winners trophy seem pointless. help your kid realize that to get what you want, you have to strive for first place and that you wont get a "ribbon" until you get there

Meaganandcheese

I don't necessarily disagree with you OP, but what is the value of losing?

Teaches the value of hard work and self-independence.

Losing can foster healthy competition and a drive to succeed. It also teaches that it's okay for someone else to get 1st place - it's okay to not always win, we all don't get all the glory all the time. This is also raising a generation of perfectionists that don't know how to handle getting anything less than an A or not getting a job, etc.

But here's the thing, kids still find a way to be competative and "win." If not at sports, the social hierarchies they create are much stricter - take bullying, for example.

Marll

This is the typical liberalism that is rotting it's way through America. Everyone in the same you see, isn't that right Comrade? God forbid that you fail at something and have to use your f**cking brain to figure out a different approach. By having all "winners" you are not only degrading what the actual winner was able to accomplish and setting up the ones that didn't do as well with an ego complex that they are great.

It later turns into bad attitudes, and over confidence. I recently ran into someone in a professional manner that provided the worst quality of work, barely even passable for what he was paid to do, and all he could say was "I worked really hard, this is my best work, I don't know what your problem is!" When I pointed out the flaws he had 100 excuses as to why it couldn't be done better. I spent a mere 10 minutes showing him how it COULD be done better and his response was "My way was good enough, your way is too much work..."

EpiGaiaRepens

i disagree.

and my kid is awesome.

the only way you become a winner is to not let the failures beat you down and keep trying. What is the saying? Edison didn't fail 500 times, he found 500 ways to not make a lightbulb work.

And had he been sufficiently rewarded for those 500 failures, he might never have found the need to go on to find the one success.

BS. What you guys are talking about is about giving kids posivibes even when they don't win like it's some crime against humanity. My son always gets told he did good even when he fails because i'm not gonna emotionally abuse him for not being the best at everything. Trying, and continuing to try, is what matters.

I think you might be missing the point a little. Being told you're a failure is much different than being allowed to fail.

Maybe I am.

It's the part where the principle gave everyone a ribbon and told them they all were winners that I'm focusing on. Whatever it was, i'm sure every kid knows who "won" and who "lost" but there is benefits to being positive about plugging ahead even when you aren't on top. Even with things like marathons- hell, I consider myself a winner for finishing the goddamned thing!

I'm also focusing on all the talk about t-ball. The point of t-ball isn't to be competitive, it's to learn how to work as a team and how to play the game. I LOVED that they didn't keep score and no kid got beat up becuase his dad was absent and his mom worked all the time and so he wasn't at the same level as coaches three boys or whatever.

I'm not saying hand them a silver platter and free keys to the car and let them do whatever. But i'm not into the "LET KIDS FAIL" and calling them losers.

NicoleElen

Here's a good one, my high school student wasn't handing the work on time. Well, we go to conferences and the teacher says "He has plenty of time to make it up, I'll let him hand it in late". Hubs is like, "Fail him". Bottom line is, it affects their "numbers" if you have a bunch of kids who fail. They let him slide.

Oh, here's the new thing now you don't get zeros for not handing in work, you get 50% because it brings down the grade too much.

My Dad just tried to explain this too me a month ago and quite honestly I think the principal brain washed him because he doesn't think this way. UGHH that makes me sick

My mom is a high school teacher by day, personal trainer by night, and you bet your *kitten* she has no problem failing a kid for not doing their work. HOWEVER...the way the public education system in Texas is, teachers have almost stopped giving a *kitten* because they force the standardized testing issue down their throats and the whole "no child left behind" crap. Leave some children behind, dammit! Let teachers actually teach, make kids actually work, and if kids don't do the work, they fail. Period.

Omg, and the helicopter parents thing, my mom was a private school principal for a while and those are the WORST. She could go on for hours about those damn helicopter parents!

^^^ This. Texas has a poor excuse for an educational system.

thefuzz1290

I think it starts at the toddler age. For example, I see too many parents on the playground rushing over to help their kid who tripped and fell. I tell my daughter, to get up and deal with it, and you know what....she does. Its pitiful seeing a kid twice my daughter's age go crying to mommy or daddy when they trip and fall. You have to let kids experience falling, skinning their knees, dealing with conflict, etc. from an early age so they are prepared for the real world. Mommy and daddy aren't going to save you when your boss gets onto you about not doing your job.

Also, I bet a lot of these parents talk a good game, but I'd really be interested to see how many follow through. I've seen too many "Not My Kid" parents these days.

Meaganandcheese

Then over the PA system, the principal says "We have 2000 winners tonight, not a single loser in the bunch.".

I like this only in the sense that this was a literacy drive and that really is good for everyone.

khagador

Agreed OP. If the kid is upset about losing, it's up to the parents to talk to their child about sportsmanship and hard work. It's not only giving the kids a free pass through life, but it's giving the parents a free pass too. They never have to disappoint their child or tell him/her that he/she isn't good enough in something. I'm sure there are some things your daughter isn't as good at that some of the other kids are better at. Your daughter earned her ribbon and 3rd place because she was better-- plain and simple. The other kids need to find things that they are better at and stick with those or work harder.