When people unfriend you, for being human!!

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  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
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    I have to say, you know when people are real. I fell into a slump for about two months, but still checking into MFP here and there, I noticed I lost a few "friends" and that is fine. But here is my thing, real support is when people stick around in the bad not just when your doing good. And who made anyone the chief of perfection, just because someone doesn't log in or has some set backs I do not delete them, you don't know what anyone's personal struggles are. People trip me out with this, "If you don't log in daily I will delete you" Seriously, is your weight loss based on if someone else logs in or not, I am here whether you log in or not. Be humble, my goodness were not celebrity's.

    Why would you even care, this is about you. If they don't support that's on them.
  • Sobe1970
    Sobe1970 Posts: 36 Member
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    I had a very small number of friends on here (less than 10). I deleted most of them one day when I came to the realization I was the only one in the mix providing support and encouragement. I want to have MFP friends who will acknowledge, encourage, support and comment on my achievements (because that's what friends do) so while it may seem "mean" it's kind of an expectation of mine. :ohwell:
  • LeisureRunner
    LeisureRunner Posts: 185
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    We all need support so if someone isn't logging in then they're not being very supportive either. However, I have a few friends that haven't logged on in a while but I keep them around. I delete people who DO log in daily and NEVER offer any type of support pr encouragement.
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
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    I am here for health and motivation. I do not kick friends out per habit but have in the past if it becomes a habit. To keep the number manageable, if they do not log in for 10 days, then log in for 1 day, then do not log in for 20 days, so on and so forth, I get no contribution from them anyway so out they go.


    Kind of how I feel. When they're not making an attempt at one of the main points of the site/having friends (MOTIVATION), it makes me think they aren't all that motivated themselves- so how the heck will they motivate me? Not saying this is the case for everyone, and I understand that things happen and we can't always be here... but I also don't care if people delete me. I'm awesome with or without them :tongue:

    I'm with you both on this. If they've NEVER said a word to me and I'm constantly making an attempt to be friends and encourage than I'm not going to waste my time anymore. Right now I have a whole list of wonderful supportive friends.
    I understand vacations and family issues but if they have never bothered to say anything than I'm not keeping them around.
    This isn't even necessarily for people who don't log in, I've deleted people who log in everyday.

    It's like bad family/friend relationships in your real life. If I'm ignored and treated like poo I won't hang around them anymore.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I regularly delete people that are inactive. Unless we are GOOD friends and I know you're coming back but in a funk, I have no reason to keep people no longer participating actively in MFP.

    Just request them again and say you're back. Or... move on.
  • msudaisy28
    msudaisy28 Posts: 267 Member
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    I never delete anyone. How can someone who isn't being active "clog" up your friend's list? It's not like they are posting anything. *shrugs*

    I feel the same way!
  • LeisureRunner
    LeisureRunner Posts: 185
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    I had a very small number of friends on here (less than 10). I deleted most of them one day when I came to the realization I was the only one in the mix providing support and encouragement. I want to have MFP friends who will acknowledge, encourage, support and comment on my achievements (because that's what friends do) so while it may seem "mean" it's kind of an expectation of mine. :ohwell:



    Totally agree!
  • Syntax_Error
    Syntax_Error Posts: 77 Member
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    Let's keep in mind the distress that seeing numerous friends populating my journal entries with:
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"

    It's not all about you, your actions have an impact on the mindset of others. If it's perceived that you don't care or take it seriously, that could cause someone else to fail.

    While I will absolutely support my friends in their efforts, if they stop caring and show no effort to trying to convince them to return, I'll un-friend them so I can stay focused on the positives. It's nothing personal against them, but keep in mind what kind of players you want on your team. Do you want folks who aren't taking it seriously, or do you want people who may drag you down? Weight loss and fitness are absolutely tough work and we all need adequate support.
  • AmandaLAcosta
    AmandaLAcosta Posts: 87
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    I want friends that are serious about eating healthy and being accountable. If one of my friends have not logged in for a few days I'll send them a message and try to reach out and ask them what is going on and if I can help. If I don't get a response after a few days I delete them.
    I'm not a friend collector and I take this ( MFP) very seriously. I love the friends that I have.
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
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    No one may like this.... but

    I too, am one of those people who delete others that have "disappeared". For every alert MFP sends me on a MIA friend, I'll send, "Hey girl? Where are you, come back!" or "Hang in there!" or "Don't lose hope!".

    If these messages to bring people back to MFP does nothing to motivate them, then nothing will. Support on this site is a 2 way street. If you expect support but give nothing in return, it's a drain for me. I take the time to read my friends blogs, status updates and encourage them anyway I can.

    If you disappear off the face of MFP, then naturally I will delete you.
  • AmandaLAcosta
    AmandaLAcosta Posts: 87
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    I had a very small number of friends on here (less than 10). I deleted most of them one day when I came to the realization I was the only one in the mix providing support and encouragement. I want to have MFP friends who will acknowledge, encourage, support and comment on my achievements (because that's what friends do) so while it may seem "mean" it's kind of an expectation of mine. :ohwell:



    Totally agree!







    Ditto!
  • i_miss_donuts
    i_miss_donuts Posts: 180 Member
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    I went on vacation out of the country for a week and someone unfriended me because I didn't log in (hello? no internet access!). Whatever - clearly not the type of person who is going to support you anyway!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,708 Member
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    I give them 30 days. Once a month I clean out the ones who are over 30 days with no activity. If MFP was important to them, they'd log in. If not, and their other life ventures are more important, then why bug out if someone here deletes you for not holding it as important to them?
    Sounds more like you don't handle rejection very well. Buck up.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
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    I like seeing all my friends in the green.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Frankly, I don't even notice when people delete me *LOL* No clue how many friends I have and take zero offense at being deleted *shrug* To each their own... I'm just hear for the wine.
  • slimgal613
    slimgal613 Posts: 56
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    How close are you to these people anyway? If someone on here deletes me, I don't care, because the people with whom I have a strong bond would never do that.


    I agree wth this ^^^
    :smile:
  • wyze
    wyze Posts: 248
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    @ OP, i understand where you are coming from, but i have to say that i am one of those people who delete others if they do not log in for a while (usually a month or 2. i never delete until it has been atleast a month) or do not show any sign of activity. I do not do this because i am perfect, on the contrary we all have issues, but if you have not logged in for a month and you have not left a comment on your page or updated your weight loss or your status, how do i know you are still on here or working?

    People add friends for motivation and support, if you are not here, then how do you expect people to receive motivation and support from you? I understand that life happens, no one is blaming anyone for that, and our hope is that things even out, but at the end of the day we cannot read peoples mind and if they are not doing the work on MFP, then for some of us, we get them off our list. Its not because we are trying to be mean. I also do not complain if i ever get deleted, people have different needs on their weightloss journey
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I delete people who are happy with no progress and lots of excuses that never comment on my activity ever.
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
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    my goodness were not celebrity's.

    I can't speak for anyone else.... But you know I'm a pretty big deal in Germany.
  • JoniBologna
    JoniBologna Posts: 653 Member
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    Piece of advice: Get. Over. It. I have unfriended people. People have unfriended me. I am extremely motivated and dedicated. Not looking for perfection, but for friends who are similar to me. Sounds like you need to reevaluate why you are even here in the first place.

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