When people unfriend you, for being human!!

proverbs31chick
proverbs31chick Posts: 485 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have to say, you know when people are real. I fell into a slump for about two months, but still checking into MFP here and there, I noticed I lost a few "friends" and that is fine. But here is my thing, real support is when people stick around in the bad not just when your doing good. And who made anyone the chief of perfection, just because someone doesn't log in or has some set backs I do not delete them, you don't know what anyone's personal struggles are. People trip me out with this, "If you don't log in daily I will delete you" Seriously, is your weight loss based on if someone else logs in or not, I am here whether you log in or not. Be humble, my goodness were not celebrity's.
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Replies

  • mzbehaven1
    mzbehaven1 Posts: 55 Member
    I'm with you girl!:smile:
  • beduffbrickie
    beduffbrickie Posts: 642 Member
    going to be honest here dont pull my head off, but to me if you dont log in it looks like you cant be arsed! if someone's on holiday or going to be away then thats a different story altogether
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    I never delete anyone. How can someone who isn't being active "clog" up your friend's list? It's not like they are posting anything. *shrugs*
  • proverbs31chick
    proverbs31chick Posts: 485 Member
    going to be honest here dont pull my head off, but to me if you dont log in it looks like you cant be arsed! if someone's on holiday or going to be away then thats a different story altogether


    I understand what your saying, however, my weight loss isn't based on if the people on my page log in or not. I don't go through and check to see if someone has logged in and if I see the thread that they haven't logged in for 3 days or whatever, I don't just delete them. There have been times I was still working out and eating right, but I just didn't have time to log in, I have a life outside of here. People act like this is their only life, and if you don't log in than it's over. It's not that serious, I don't base my goals on others.
  • MichelleV1990
    MichelleV1990 Posts: 806 Member
    I have to say, you know when people are real. I fell into a slump for about two months, but still checking into MFP here and there, I noticed I lost a few "friends" and that is fine. But here is my thing, real support is when people stick around in the bad not just when your doing good. And who made anyone the chief of perfection, just because someone doesn't log in or has some set backs I do not delete them, you don't know what anyone's personal struggles are. People trip me out with this, "If you don't log in daily I will delete you" Seriously, is your weight loss based on if someone else logs in or not, I am here whether you log in or not. Be humble, my goodness were not celebrity's.

    Eloquently spoken!
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    going to be honest here dont pull my head off, but to me if you dont log in it looks like you cant be arsed! if someone's on holiday or going to be away then thats a different story altogether


    I understand what your saying, however, my weight loss isn't based on if the people on my page log in or not. I don't go through and check to see if someone has logged in and if I see the thread that they haven't logged in for 3 days or whatever, I don't just delete them. There have been times I was still working out and eating right, but I just didn't have time to log in, I have a life outside of here. People act like this is their only life, and if you don't log in than it's over. It's not that serious, I don't base my goals on others.

    I tell people that if I cant log in to my food diary - never ever assume its because I dont want to or gave up. I cant tell you the number of times the internet got dipped in Molasses and the server just doesnt want to load the website. The times MFP is doing maintenance or worse: when the site is down for repairing, loss of power due to a massive snowstorm (considering I live in New Hampshire it DOES happen! LOL), or plain and simple: Im WORKING! Ill jump on MFP to report my meals, and peruse on my breaks.. but that doesnt always mean I need to post my meals the very minute I log in. Sometimes I cant log in until the night of each posting simply because responsibilities dictate priority... people here DONT.

    I just spent the last 10 days packing and unpacking to move into a brand new apartment. I wrote my food intake on paper because we packed the computers (common sense)... but I made sure to log in every day on my cell phone (I cant post to my food logs on my phone, no app available) but I still logged in...

    Im only responsible for myself.. I could care less about anyone else... they arent my business and I wont sit there and babysit them to make sure they are there every waking moment...

    Keep your chin up - not all of us are MFPstalkers! LOL!!!
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    The internet - SERIOUS BUSINESS.
  • BIGJIMMYU
    BIGJIMMYU Posts: 1,221 Member
    I am here for health and motivation. I do not kick friends out per habit but have in the past if it becomes a habit. To keep the number manageable, if they do not log in for 10 days, then log in for 1 day, then do not log in for 20 days, so on and so forth, I get no contribution from them anyway so out they go.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    The internet - SERIOUS BUSINESS.

    Internet_serious_business_bush.jpg
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    I have logged for the last 500 days everyday. I want friends that are not trying but doing this. When I see someone not logging for 3 days, I delete them. If it makes me a snob ...then so be it. I have amazing friends.
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    I am here for health and motivation. I do not kick friends out per habit but have in the past if it becomes a habit. To keep the number manageable, if they do not log in for 10 days, then log in for 1 day, then do not log in for 20 days, so on and so forth, I get no contribution from them anyway so out they go.


    Kind of how I feel. When they're not making an attempt at one of the main points of the site/having friends (MOTIVATION), it makes me think they aren't all that motivated themselves- so how the heck will they motivate me? Not saying this is the case for everyone, and I understand that things happen and we can't always be here... but I also don't care if people delete me. I'm awesome with or without them :tongue:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    How close are you to these people anyway? If someone on here deletes me, I don't care, because the people with whom I have a strong bond would never do that.
  • rmwinters
    rmwinters Posts: 288 Member
    If a friend did not log for awhile, then why wouldn't you message them and see what's up???? That's what a friend should do.
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 811 Member
    I am here for health and motivation. I do not kick friends out per habit but have in the past if it becomes a habit. To keep the number manageable, if they do not log in for 10 days, then log in for 1 day, then do not log in for 20 days, so on and so forth, I get no contribution from them anyway so out they go.

    He said it perfectly. This is about my weight loss. If you happen to get help from me while I'm in the process of trying to lose weight, that's cool. But I'm putting myself first. Call me selfish, I guess. :(

    Edit: I do shoot them a comment though being like, "Where are you?" and I really only delete people who have been gone for about a month or so.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    I have logged for the last 500 days everyday. I want friends that are not trying but doing this. When I see someone not logging for 3 days, I delete them. If it makes me a snob ...then so be it. I have amazing friends.

    This, minus the 500 days part. I tend to dispense with negative influences in all aspects of my life fairly quickly.
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    Because if they're not logging in, they probably won't respond :wink:
  • airlily
    airlily Posts: 212 Member
    The internet - SERIOUS BUSINESS.

    Super SERIAL!!!! (>-.-)>
  • LeggyKettleBabe
    LeggyKettleBabe Posts: 300 Member
    My two cents. I add friends to connect with and interact. If you arent connecting with me, your not stayin on the list. No way some people have hundreds of friends and they are keeping up and motivating them. I wouldnt take it personal if someone deleted me, their choice.
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    I am here for health and motivation. I do not kick friends out per habit but have in the past if it becomes a habit. To keep the number manageable, if they do not log in for 10 days, then log in for 1 day, then do not log in for 20 days, so on and so forth, I get no contribution from them anyway so out they go.

    He said it perfectly. This is about my weight loss. If you happen to get help from me while I'm in the process of trying to lose weight, that's cool. But I'm putting myself first. Call me selfish, I guess. :(


    NOT selfish! You're doing this for YOUR weight/fitness, you aren't responsible for theirs!
  • DayAtATime
    DayAtATime Posts: 72
    I agree. I am not the MFP police. We are all here because we have a desire to better ourselves...sometimes quickly sometimes slowly. I don't judge because I understand the struggle to live a better life. I have not reached a better plateau than you because I log in every day.
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    I have to say, you know when people are real. I fell into a slump for about two months, but still checking into MFP here and there, I noticed I lost a few "friends" and that is fine. But here is my thing, real support is when people stick around in the bad not just when your doing good. And who made anyone the chief of perfection, just because someone doesn't log in or has some set backs I do not delete them, you don't know what anyone's personal struggles are. People trip me out with this, "If you don't log in daily I will delete you" Seriously, is your weight loss based on if someone else logs in or not, I am here whether you log in or not. Be humble, my goodness were not celebrity's.

    Why would you even care, this is about you. If they don't support that's on them.
  • Sobe1970
    Sobe1970 Posts: 36 Member
    I had a very small number of friends on here (less than 10). I deleted most of them one day when I came to the realization I was the only one in the mix providing support and encouragement. I want to have MFP friends who will acknowledge, encourage, support and comment on my achievements (because that's what friends do) so while it may seem "mean" it's kind of an expectation of mine. :ohwell:
  • LeisureRunner
    LeisureRunner Posts: 185
    We all need support so if someone isn't logging in then they're not being very supportive either. However, I have a few friends that haven't logged on in a while but I keep them around. I delete people who DO log in daily and NEVER offer any type of support pr encouragement.
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
    I am here for health and motivation. I do not kick friends out per habit but have in the past if it becomes a habit. To keep the number manageable, if they do not log in for 10 days, then log in for 1 day, then do not log in for 20 days, so on and so forth, I get no contribution from them anyway so out they go.


    Kind of how I feel. When they're not making an attempt at one of the main points of the site/having friends (MOTIVATION), it makes me think they aren't all that motivated themselves- so how the heck will they motivate me? Not saying this is the case for everyone, and I understand that things happen and we can't always be here... but I also don't care if people delete me. I'm awesome with or without them :tongue:

    I'm with you both on this. If they've NEVER said a word to me and I'm constantly making an attempt to be friends and encourage than I'm not going to waste my time anymore. Right now I have a whole list of wonderful supportive friends.
    I understand vacations and family issues but if they have never bothered to say anything than I'm not keeping them around.
    This isn't even necessarily for people who don't log in, I've deleted people who log in everyday.

    It's like bad family/friend relationships in your real life. If I'm ignored and treated like poo I won't hang around them anymore.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I regularly delete people that are inactive. Unless we are GOOD friends and I know you're coming back but in a funk, I have no reason to keep people no longer participating actively in MFP.

    Just request them again and say you're back. Or... move on.
  • msudaisy28
    msudaisy28 Posts: 267 Member
    I never delete anyone. How can someone who isn't being active "clog" up your friend's list? It's not like they are posting anything. *shrugs*

    I feel the same way!
  • LeisureRunner
    LeisureRunner Posts: 185
    I had a very small number of friends on here (less than 10). I deleted most of them one day when I came to the realization I was the only one in the mix providing support and encouragement. I want to have MFP friends who will acknowledge, encourage, support and comment on my achievements (because that's what friends do) so while it may seem "mean" it's kind of an expectation of mine. :ohwell:



    Totally agree!
  • Syntax_Error
    Syntax_Error Posts: 77 Member
    Let's keep in mind the distress that seeing numerous friends populating my journal entries with:
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"
    "X has not logged in for Y days"

    It's not all about you, your actions have an impact on the mindset of others. If it's perceived that you don't care or take it seriously, that could cause someone else to fail.

    While I will absolutely support my friends in their efforts, if they stop caring and show no effort to trying to convince them to return, I'll un-friend them so I can stay focused on the positives. It's nothing personal against them, but keep in mind what kind of players you want on your team. Do you want folks who aren't taking it seriously, or do you want people who may drag you down? Weight loss and fitness are absolutely tough work and we all need adequate support.
  • AmandaLAcosta
    AmandaLAcosta Posts: 87
    I want friends that are serious about eating healthy and being accountable. If one of my friends have not logged in for a few days I'll send them a message and try to reach out and ask them what is going on and if I can help. If I don't get a response after a few days I delete them.
    I'm not a friend collector and I take this ( MFP) very seriously. I love the friends that I have.
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    No one may like this.... but

    I too, am one of those people who delete others that have "disappeared". For every alert MFP sends me on a MIA friend, I'll send, "Hey girl? Where are you, come back!" or "Hang in there!" or "Don't lose hope!".

    If these messages to bring people back to MFP does nothing to motivate them, then nothing will. Support on this site is a 2 way street. If you expect support but give nothing in return, it's a drain for me. I take the time to read my friends blogs, status updates and encourage them anyway I can.

    If you disappear off the face of MFP, then naturally I will delete you.

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