When people unfriend you, for being human!!

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Replies

  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
    i deleted people before, and it was usually if they hadnt logged in for months, or if they never gave me support (ie, commenting on my burns, or diary ) not to sound rude, but why should i only be your support ? i need it too, and if im not getting it back, then you are gone..
  • HotBodUnderConstruction
    HotBodUnderConstruction Posts: 420
    Just because you're struggling that really doesn't mean you shouldn't log in your food. Once you stop logging, you stop holding yourself accountable, and is everyone on your friends list supposed to hold you accountable for yourself?

    MFP friends are there to support you on your daily food logging, your exercise activities, questions you might have about fitness, or share recipes. When you feel blue, sure put up a status update and receive a pat on the back...but I definitely do NOT expect them to be "there for you" when I can't even log my own food. That's a whole different level of support that you might need your family or significant others to help you with.
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
    I don't delete friends for not logging in but I do usually delete people that I don't really interact with much. Sooo....I'm sure that would be people who don't log in much
  • teresacc26
    teresacc26 Posts: 91 Member
    going to be honest here dont pull my head off, but to me if you dont log in it looks like you cant be arsed! if someone's on holiday or going to be away then thats a different story altogether


    I understand what your saying, however, my weight loss isn't based on if the people on my page log in or not. I don't go through and check to see if someone has logged in and if I see the thread that they haven't logged in for 3 days or whatever, I don't just delete them. There have been times I was still working out and eating right, but I just didn't have time to log in, I have a life outside of here. People act like this is their only life, and if you don't log in than it's over. It's not that serious, I don't base my goals on others.



    LMFAO I Agree
  • Brandongood
    Brandongood Posts: 311 Member
    If they delete you, oh well. Keep moving forward.
  • ball858
    ball858 Posts: 395 Member
    I have logged for the last 500 days everyday. I want friends that are not trying but doing this. When I see someone not logging for 3 days, I delete them. If it makes me a snob ...then so be it. I have amazing friends.

    Same here but I give them 7 - 10 days (holiday time) if you dont like it then tough!
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
    I send a PM to see what's up and if they are ok-if I don't get a responce "DELETE"- sorry but I have high expectations for myself and my friends-it's my prerogative!
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    People unfriend for different reasons. Hopefully, it's not because you're human. If it's because you slack... well, hmmm. I wouldn't blame anyone for unfriending me if I lost interest and quit logging in consistently.

    There are people who spend a lot of time on here supporting and receiving support from their friends. We all have different amounts of time to spend... some people don't want too many friends because they'd rather have a closer knit group, etc.

    Don't let it bother you. Just do what you need to do for yourself, get s*** done, ya know? In the end, the people who stick with you are the ones who matter.
  • BADGIRLstl
    BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
    I would just pick new friends. The truth is people have the right to accept and delete who they please. Don't worry, there are plenty other awesome people on here that you can be friends with. I don't mind you being my friend...but I love "active" friends...just my personality. Have a beautiful weekend/Easter.
  • teresacc26
    teresacc26 Posts: 91 Member
    How close are you to these people anyway? If someone on here deletes me, I don't care, because the people with whom I have a strong bond would never do that.

    I Agree..If sum1 deletes me I probably wouldnt even notice lol (unless its sum1 i actually talk to on here on the regular and those ppl Wldnt do that !!!
  • LeggyKettleBabe
    LeggyKettleBabe Posts: 300 Member
    my goodness were not celebrity's.

    I can't speak for anyone else.... But you know I'm a pretty big deal in Germany.

    lmao i really laffed at thanks. be my friend :)
  • jms3533
    jms3533 Posts: 316 Member
    My two cents. I add friends to connect with and interact. If you arent connecting with me, your not stayin on the list. No way some people have hundreds of friends and they are keeping up and motivating them. I wouldnt take it personal if someone deleted me, their choice.

    Well said. That's how I tend to handle/balance my friend list.
  • LeggyKettleBabe
    LeggyKettleBabe Posts: 300 Member
    I have logged for the last 500 days everyday. I want friends that are not trying but doing this. When I see someone not logging for 3 days, I delete them. If it makes me a snob ...then so be it. I have amazing friends.


    I never said it makes you a snob. I just realize that my life isn't just about this site and deleting people for not meeting my standards.

    Then why start this post ???
  • rmhand
    rmhand Posts: 1,067 Member
    Sounds like an opportunity to find better friends.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    Just think of it this way- if they are gonna delete you chances are they are not the type of person you wanted on your friends list anyway!
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
    I have to say, you know when people are real. I fell into a slump for about two months, but still checking into MFP here and there, I noticed I lost a few "friends" and that is fine. But here is my thing, real support is when people stick around in the bad not just when your doing good. And who made anyone the chief of perfection, just because someone doesn't log in or has some set backs I do not delete them, you don't know what anyone's personal struggles are. People trip me out with this, "If you don't log in daily I will delete you" Seriously, is your weight loss based on if someone else logs in or not, I am here whether you log in or not. Be humble, my goodness were not celebrity's.

    Without knowing who and why you've been deleted it's hard to tell, I mean if you just see your numbers go down it could be that the account has been deleted. I've lost some people on here without knowing why and I log every day. Best thing to do is not take it to heart. I myself wouldn't remove anyone, if there away for a few days or a few months you don't really know what is going on with them so it's best to stick around in case they need a buddy when they return.
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
    I don't have this problem. I have no friends on MFP. Problem solved.
  • catlady76
    catlady76 Posts: 5 Member
    WOW...AMEN....:)
  • dngortegae
    dngortegae Posts: 27 Member
    :smile: Some people think the world revolves around them, little do they know. A friend should be there for you too and not just because they need someone to help them. I suggest you get some better friends!
  • Ke1ra78
    Ke1ra78 Posts: 146 Member
    I had a very small number of friends on here (less than 10). I deleted most of them one day when I came to the realization I was the only one in the mix providing support and encouragement. I want to have MFP friends who will acknowledge, encourage, support and comment on my achievements (because that's what friends do) so while it may seem "mean" it's kind of an expectation of mine. :ohwell:

    my feelings exactly. I have mfp friends who never comment on my activity or weight loss.
    We all need support at times.:-)
  • MrsGoHard
    MrsGoHard Posts: 150 Member
    1. Why do you care?
    2. Just like some people aren't your cup of tea, you may not be theirs. It's life.

    I have deleted people because I don't like the things they talk about. I'm about a particular life, and they are about another. They talk too much. I don't like their friends comments on their posts. lol... There are many reasons and all of them include BEING HUMAN. I have been deleted for being ME. If you want someone to give you an explanation every time they delete you, of if you feel like you need to give one when you delete people, then you should hang up your online social activities. This site is full of insecurity and a deep desire to do and say anything to fit in. It's also filled with awesome people who couldn't care less about who wants to or doesn't want to be their "friend" here and handle their business regardless. Recognize, some people remove themselves from you to YOUR benefit. What you may look at as "sticking it out" others may see as "pacifying".

    Bottom line: It's never serious enough to write a post about. As far as friends and support goes, I'd rather have 1 GOOD friend, than 100 worshipers or fillers, which lot of people here tend to be. Give me ONE good buddy who's gonna say "Girl, get back in the game" over 100 "YES MAAM" and behind kissers all day. And that's with life... period.
  • Poorgirls_Diet
    Poorgirls_Diet Posts: 528 Member
    I recently put something like this on the boards and got attacked because of it. I don't agree with the whole deleting senario however I am understanding more as to why people have to do it. For e,g, if you are giving allot of your attention to one person and they don't give it to you back. Support should be a two way street not a one way! However I just believe if you befriend someone you are there for the good or the bad.

    I can honestly say that I have only deleted one person and that was because she was downright rude to me on the thread that I am referring to about deleting people. Two weeks after the thread was closed she added me so after I recognised who she was I deleted her on the basis of the bullying I received because of that thread. I did not want to befriend a person like that! . Since then I have had about 10 people delete me because they didn't agree with the thread and because of my chosen direction in losing weight. Their loss not mine!

    I am very thankful to have a beautiful connection of people who have been with me from day one and has helped me through one of the worst few weeks of my life. I hope in return I can do the same for them!
  • WinWinGo
    WinWinGo Posts: 99 Member
    I hate when I find out that my friends are really human. I mean, come on people, I only want friends that are ALIENS! Is that too much to ask for?!

    Calm down there, Haruhi. :laugh:

    In response to OP, I think the issue is more with the word used than anything else. "Friend" is clearly not the right word for the kind of relationship most people in this thread are talking about. I don't think "friend" should be the word used in any of these online dealings. It's loaded with too much emotion, and the way it's used here, it means exactly nothing. To stop being friends on the internet, you push a button. To stop being friends IRL, something more substantial has to take place. The word used shouldn't be "friend". (in best Jamaican accent) Ain't nuttin' go suh.
    In my opinion, Mfp (and all social networking sites) should use a different term. Based on what I'm seeing in this thread, what most people want out of their online relationships doesn't equate to anything I would describe as "friendship"
  • Cupcakehippiemommy
    Cupcakehippiemommy Posts: 457 Member
    I kinda look at it like this if you are on here period well then we have something in common :) I figure before you judge the path someone else has chosen to conquer the challenges we all face in our weight loss adventure, stop and think on this-

    Even though we are all at different stages in this weight loss quest, whether it is the last twenty pounds you have to lose or the first twenty pounds you need to get started...well...we all deserve the same respect and dignity.No one knows more than the other and no one "method" is better than the other...

    I don't judge people based on their post I just give support and encourage when it's needed.I don't care if you are white,black,gay,lesbian,straight,democrat,republican,catholic,atheist,christian,rich,poor,fluffy or thin.If you are kind to me then I will be kind to you.That simple.
  • FORIANN
    FORIANN Posts: 273 Member
    going to be honest here dont pull my head off, but to me if you dont log in it looks like you cant be arsed! if someone's on holiday or going to be away then thats a different story altogether

    I'm with you. I want to associate with people who are achieving and who are putting in the work.
  • SexyCook
    SexyCook Posts: 2,249 Member
    Sorry that you feel that way sweetie but to each its on being that we all have rights here what we want from our pals...Everyone see their reasons here differently...When I add on pals...it's for motivational support for a healthier lifestyle...Not logging, no exercising/eating, and continuous unrelated status..along with keeping up mess...are all reasons I have deleted people... I do it and keep on moving...I have been deleted but no hard feeling taken simply because its by Choice..Hopefully you won't sit on the negative of deletion just take has one less person gone with an open door of a new Awesome People...I know I have Gained Many!! Have a great journey!
  • MsQt
    MsQt Posts: 793 Member
    I keep a small amount of friends on this site! I like it like that because it's easier for me to keep up a real connection with them. I delete people alllll the time and make room for people who are serious about changing for the better with eating healthy foods and into fitness life. Yes I take this site seriously because it was my stepping stone to the weight I have lost. I tried to weed out the pros from the wannabe's and it works perfectly for me! When I jump on site I am motivated to do just a little bit more because my pals inspire me with their drive and determination. They get up and start their mornings to a great breakfast, take care of their family duties, hit the gym/exercise regimens, and come with no excuses. I call my pals MFP All Stars and those are the people I keep on my list of friends! If you don't fit you got to go. Yes we are all human which means I can choose to delete or keep! Happy Easter everyone:happy:
  • dont_give_up
    dont_give_up Posts: 312 Member
    I had some friends delete me because I didn't log in for a few months. At the time, I had no internet, and no car to go to the library. There are times that I did walk to the library, but couldn't do it often because it was in the middle of winter. It did help however that when I was able to get back on, that I still had some that didn't delete me.

    I guess people forget that we do have a life outside of MFP. Just because we're not logging in everyday doesn't mean we're out eating fast food every night, or sitting in front of the tv eating an entire cake! We're all on here for one reason or another, and if we didn't need the support we wouldn't be here!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I had some friends delete me because I didn't log in for a few months. At the time, I had no internet, and no car to go to the library. There are times that I did walk to the library, but couldn't do it often because it was in the middle of winter. It did help however that when I was able to get back on, that I still had some that didn't delete me.

    I guess people forget that we do have a life outside of MFP. Just because we're not logging in everyday doesn't mean we're out eating fast food every night, or sitting in front of the tv eating an entire cake! We're all on here for one reason or another, and if we didn't need the support we wouldn't be here!

    It is not about whether or not you have a life. It is about wanting people who use this program. Too many stop using the site and never come back. As I said in a previous post, it can be discouraging if you have friends that never log on. At least one of those times when you made it to the library you could have posted on your wall or your profile that you were having probs accessing the Internet and I'm sure more of your friends would wait for you. I always attempt to go to someone's profile and encourage them to check in before I delete them. I would have seen that message on your profile and waited until you could return.
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    I don't have this problem. I have no friends on MFP. Problem solved.

    You speak with forked tongue, you have one friend, I just looked!

    hehehehehe

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