CHEESY JOKES THREAD

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kealambert
kealambert Posts: 961 Member
in Chit-Chat
It's friday, I'm stuck at work for another two hours.

let's share our awful cheesy jokes, I'll start:

Have you heard the one about the unsharpened pencil? don't worry about it, it's pointless
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  • stuffsdb
    stuffsdb Posts: 165
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    What's brown and sticky?? **A stick
  • Claire594
    Claire594 Posts: 357 Member
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    What do u call a deer with no eyes?

    No idea.

    An oldie but a goodie
  • Claire594
    Claire594 Posts: 357 Member
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    What do u get if u cross a rotweiller with a Labrador puppy?

    A dog that scares the *kitten* out of you and then runs away with the toilet paper.

    (people in the UK will probably only get this)
  • stuffsdb
    stuffsdb Posts: 165
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    What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
  • amurdaugh2010
    amurdaugh2010 Posts: 39
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    actually, I totally get that. I had a lab/rotweiller mix, fiestiest little puppy, but way to playful for her own good.
  • jplord
    jplord Posts: 510 Member
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    These are some of my favorite 1-liners:

    Blind Venicians make better louvers.

    My karma just ran over your dogma.

    You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

    Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

    :bigsmile:
  • melbot24
    melbot24 Posts: 347 Member
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    If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45 of them, what does he have?

    Diabetes. John has diabetes.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    a dyslexic walks into a bra
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45 of them, what does he have?

    Diabetes. John has diabetes.

    this one always gets me.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    what's sadder than a fly in your soup?

    Cancer.
  • stuffsdb
    stuffsdb Posts: 165
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    If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45 of them, what does he have?

    Diabetes. John has diabetes.

    Bahahahaha....that is great!

    What is red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint
  • stuffsdb
    stuffsdb Posts: 165
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    what's sadder than a fly in your soup?

    Cancer.

    Ah anti jokes :laugh:
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,070 Member
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    whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

    a carrot
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,070 Member
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    what's sadder than a fly in your soup?

    Cancer.

    this is my new favourite :D
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    Roses are red, violets are blue

    I have a gun--get in the van
  • melbot24
    melbot24 Posts: 347 Member
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    a dyslexic walks into a bra

    Hahaha, awesome.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    you know what they say when life throws you melons

    you're dyslexic
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    lol.. a guy walks into a bar, says ouch

    two guys walk into a bar, third guy ducks

    a blond a brunette and red head walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "what is this some kind of joke" :)
  • RobynC79
    RobynC79 Posts: 331 Member
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    I have dozens of stupid non-sequitur jokes...


    What's white and can't climb trees?

    A refrigerator



    What's green and would hurt you if it fell out of a tree?

    A billiard table


    What's red and looks like a bucket?

    A red bucket


    What's blue and looks like a bucket?

    (no.... not a blue bucket) A red bucket holding its breath.


    I see the 'what's brown and sticky' one is already here.


    And don't get me started on the baby jokes... those are worse.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    :laugh:

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