CHEESY JOKES THREAD

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  • AEB_WV
    AEB_WV Posts: 323 Member
    Did you hear the one about the cross-eyed teacher?





    She couldn't control her pupils.
  • tinacrane
    tinacrane Posts: 134 Member
    What did the Momma tomato say to the baby tomato? Come on ketchup!
  • cowsstealmythong
    cowsstealmythong Posts: 173 Member
    Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

    To Get to Your House.

    Knock Knock

    (Who's There?)

    THE CHICKEN!!!

    Oh my... I love that joke... I can't get over it. It's my favourite just because it is sooo lame!

    That has been my silence breaking joke for YEARS! I just love it. :)
  • megansmith7487
    megansmith7487 Posts: 24
    What do you call a sleep-walking nun?

    A roamin' Catholic!
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    thank you all I needed the giggles today... ones I know are already here so I wont repeat
  • caviarblack
    caviarblack Posts: 41 Member
    hahahaha
  • cowsstealmythong
    cowsstealmythong Posts: 173 Member
    What is the smartest state?
    Alabama! It has 4 A's and 1 B.

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the water?
    Bob (or f---ed)

    What do you call a man with no arms and legs at your door step?
    Matt

    What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
    Doug
  • tkramh
    tkramh Posts: 15 Member
    Hey! We've gotta be kin!

    Your mother and my mother....well, ..........






    They're both mothers :)
  • megansmith7487
    megansmith7487 Posts: 24
    What do you call a man with no arms, no legs laying in a pile of leaves?


    Russell!
  • mstemen
    mstemen Posts: 108 Member
    Why did the piece of gum cross the road?

    Cuz it was stuck to the chicken's foot :happy:
  • AEB_WV
    AEB_WV Posts: 323 Member
    What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on the wall?

    Art!
  • melbot24
    melbot24 Posts: 347 Member
    What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

    Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

    I literally LOL'd @ this one.
  • bdhoward87
    bdhoward87 Posts: 86 Member
    If caterpillars turn into butterflies what do cars turn into?

    Driveways.
  • mstemen
    mstemen Posts: 108 Member
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your wall?
    Art

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole?
    Doug

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs out of a hole?
    Phil

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pot?
    Stu

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your porch?
    Matt

    What do you call a woman with one arm, one leg, and one eye?
    Ilene
  • MikeBer1505
    MikeBer1505 Posts: 1
    How do you get a tissue to dance?



    Put a little boogie in it!
  • Breezedew
    Breezedew Posts: 134 Member
    What do you get when you cross a skunk and a hellicopter?

    A Smell-a-copter!

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Tank
    Tank who?

    You're welcome!

    (courtesy of my preschooler :)
  • SeanNJ
    SeanNJ Posts: 153 Member
    A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, that's pretty cool. Where did you get it?"

    The frog says, "Brooklyn. They got hundreds of 'em."
  • shanna0413
    shanna0413 Posts: 600 Member
    What do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls?

    Sparky
  • L00py_T0ucan
    L00py_T0ucan Posts: 1,378 Member
    What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

    Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.
    A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, that's pretty cool. Where did you get it?"

    The frog says, "Brooklyn. They got hundreds of 'em."

    :laugh: :wink: these are great. i'm not really supposed to finding these so hilarious am i? bad joke? fuhgeddaboutit...


    - - -
    obviously :flowerforyou: to all rabbis.
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
    What kind of music do chiropractors listen to?

    HIP-POP!
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
    What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked into his office?

    I can clearly see you're nuts!
  • rotnkat
    rotnkat Posts: 393 Member
    What did the fish say when it hit a wall?


    Dam
  • Deanthedog
    Deanthedog Posts: 122 Member
    what do you call a donkey with three legs


    a wonky
  • iron_jj
    iron_jj Posts: 446 Member
    How did the chewing gum cross the road?

    It was stuck to the chickens foot.

    :drinker:
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
    How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.

    How do you catch a unique squirrel? *squirrel*
  • msdoan
    msdoan Posts: 42 Member
    What's a Priest's favorite meat?

    Nun.


    Who are the two sexiest barnyard animals?

    *Brown chicken! Brown cowwwww!*
  • liftandcycle
    liftandcycle Posts: 209
    :laugh: i shouldnt be laughing this much at these jokes...
  • Behl9
    Behl9 Posts: 95 Member
    ah, i can't forget my all-time favorite (thank you laffy taffy wrapper)!

    what is the best time to go to the dentist?
    tooth-hurty.


    HAHA! I work for a dentist and I swear I can't tell someone their appt is @ 2:30 without a giggle-fest!
  • jocelynna
    jocelynna Posts: 137 Member
    There are two flies in your kitchen, how can you tell which one is a football player?


    The one in the Sugar Bowl.
  • w2bab
    w2bab Posts: 353 Member
    Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

    He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
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