Relationship problem?
BreatheSelina_
Posts: 55
in Chit-Chat
Hi everyone! I was just wondering if any of you could help me out here.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. Everything goes good but it seems like all he wants to do is fight. Last night, a friend of mine, (who is a lesbian) stayed the night. I feel like he doesn't trust me with a FRIEND for crying out loud. So what if she likes boobs? He thinks I am going to cheat on him with everyone and everything!! I have never done anything wrong to him. By the way, I am only into guys. Should I just stop being friends with her?
Thanks xoxo
Also, we have talked about this already. He said he just finds it "weird" that I have her staying the night. He is jealous for no reason. Because like I said, I am into men. I love him, and he loves me. I don't want things to be over with over a few arguments. It's not worth throwing a year and a half down the drain. How am I suppose to show him he can trust me?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. Everything goes good but it seems like all he wants to do is fight. Last night, a friend of mine, (who is a lesbian) stayed the night. I feel like he doesn't trust me with a FRIEND for crying out loud. So what if she likes boobs? He thinks I am going to cheat on him with everyone and everything!! I have never done anything wrong to him. By the way, I am only into guys. Should I just stop being friends with her?
Thanks xoxo
Also, we have talked about this already. He said he just finds it "weird" that I have her staying the night. He is jealous for no reason. Because like I said, I am into men. I love him, and he loves me. I don't want things to be over with over a few arguments. It's not worth throwing a year and a half down the drain. How am I suppose to show him he can trust me?
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Replies
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No, you shouldn't lose friends just because your boyfriend is insecure. Because if it's not her, it will be someone else... eventually you will have no friends left. While lots of friends aren't necessarily a must-have, it's still important to realize that HE has a serious problem.0
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He sounds like a ****.0
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I think it's kind of sad that you're even considering giving in to his insecurity.0
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You should definitely NOT stop being friends with your girl friend. It seems like your boyfriend is a bit insecure and is trying to pick a fight with you. If he doesn't trust you there are deeper issues you two need to work out. Maybe he has been hurt in the past and is manifesting that on to you.
Communication is key. If you try to talk to him and he won't talk with you that is also a red flag. Good luck.0 -
If you guys are fighting then everything is not going good. Break it off and find someone that is going to treat you the way you want to be treated.0
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Sounds like this isn't your problem but his... seems like he has some major baggage from some relationship in the past and is carrying that into your's and making you carry it. I'd say he has insecurities that are intruding on your relationship. I guess we take people for the good and the bad but I think you may want to talk to him about it or might turn into some kind of power and control type of relationship. Nip it in the bud before it gets worse. Good luck!
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No, you shouldn't lose friends just because your boyfriend is insecure. Because if it's not her, it will be someone else... eventually you will have no friends left. While lots of friends aren't necessarily a must-have, it's still important to realize that HE has a serious problem.
I totally agree with this. Also if your fighting so much maybe it is just better to cut ties and find a new man one who will accept and trust you.0 -
The first thing abusive and insecure men do is make their woman separate from every person in their life that they could turn to for help and support.0
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nothing wrong with a little jealousy; you should be flattered0
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You should hook up with your lesbian friend:flowerforyou:0
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Don't lose friends for a boyfriend. Trust me, it's not worth it.0
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You should hook up with your lesbian friend:flowerforyou:
my man0 -
You should hook up with your lesbian friend:flowerforyou:
my man
Like I said, I am not bi.0 -
That is a HUGE problem. It's the sign of a possible abuser or a possible cheater.Hi everyone! I was just wondering if any of you could help me out here.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. Everything goes good but it seems like all he wants to do is fight. Last night, a friend of mine, (who is a lesbian) stayed the night. I feel like he doesn't trust me with a FRIEND for crying out loud. So what if she likes boobs? He thinks I am going to cheat on him with everyone and everything!! I have never done anything wrong to him. By the way, I am only into guys. Should I just stop being friends with her?
Thanks xoxo
Don't give up your friends because of his stupid insecurities. I honestly don't know how anyone can put up with that for a nanosecond.0 -
If you are serious, I could not disagree more.nothing wrong with a little jealousy; you should be flattered0 -
nothing wrong with a little jealousy; you should be flattered
Try living with a 'little' jealousy--it's no picnic. I agree with everyone, you should keep being friends with her. My husband had major jealousy issues when we first started dating, but they've dissipated quite a bit (it was mostly over past relationships, though). I don't have any real advice other than that if it persists and becomes such a big problem that it's seriously affecting your happiness and ability to function as a couple and individuals, it might be time to move on. But yes, communication is key. Make sure you're telling him how awful it makes you feel when he's like this. And if you can't because you are in an unsafe relationship, seek help (I'm not being facetious).0 -
You're only 18, stop settling.0
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lesbian girlfriends of my girlfriend do scare me and yes it is because i am insecure..
they can be burly dikes or lovely "friends"
lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...
we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...
if things flow towards the girl then enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us 0 -
Flattered that he is jealous of me and my lesbian friend? Ehhh..nothing wrong with a little jealousy; you should be flattered0 -
lesbian girlfriends of my girlfriend do scare me and yes it is because i am insecure..
they can be burly dikes or lovely "friends"
lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...
we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...
if things flow towards the girl then enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us
I am not bisexual sir, I like men, i like men, i like men.0 -
Run far away.
Jealousy is not a good trait in a relationship.0 -
That is so stupid I don't even have words for it.lesbian girlfriends of my girlfriend do scare me and yes it is because i am insecure..
they can be burly dikes or lovely "friends"
lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...
we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...
if things flow towards the girl then enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us0 -
Sue, had it right, it will only get worse. soon you won't be allowed to do anything without him. I've seen it...0
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How do you handle his confrontation? I would suppose that he is trying to get a reaction from you. I definitely don't think you should be sacrificing friends for anyone. It's his trust issue and its unfair for him to impose it on you. However, have you ever told him these things straight up? Men don't take well to hints or going around the bush. I personally think if you have never done anything wrong and he seems like he is just testing boundaries and limits (which happens in every relationship) that it appears to be of a control issue he is having. Don't let him walk all over you, let him know when he is going too far.
Tell him how he makes you feel when he acts that way and that he needs to talk these things out in a mature way. Tell how much of an impact it has on your life, he probably doesn't even realize what he is doing. However, never point the finger!! That is what leads to arguments, always suggest outcomes and better solutions for the BOTH of you. If he don't care then he is not worth the time of day love.0 -
You're seriously considering dumping your friend (who I assume has done nothing wrong), just because your boyfriend is acting jealous and starting fights with you about it? Sounds like he has the problem, not her.
I think you really need to take a step back and look at yourself and your relationship and see if it is healthy. Based on your post, it doesn't sound like it is. I'm not trying to be mean. Just take advice from someone who has been there, in an unhealthy relationship. I lost friends, held back from doing things I really wanted, etc. All because I loved him and like you, didn't want to throw our time together (two years) down the drain. I told myself that all relationships take sacrifice and in the end it would be totally worth it.
Well, it wasn't.0 -
You should hook up with your lesbian friend:flowerforyou:
Most men/boyfriends would be encouraging the OP to hook up with her friend, so I find this comment hysterical. LOL
Okay, I have my serious face on now.....I agree with the other posters, either throw his **** out on the lawn and tell him "Peace out" or "Kick Rocks (whatever your preference is).....OR sit him down and talk to him.
Be direct and clear, if he has trust issues than he should resolve those issues before entering into a relationship of ANY kind.
I have found that being direct and to the point saves you a lot of heartache.0 -
The first thing abusive and insecure men do is make their woman separate from every person in their life that they could turn to for help and support.
^ this
i am pretty sure you are probably going to disagree with this 100% but you need to take a serious look and your relationship and choose to stay or leave. I know you're thinking that there's no way he would every do anything to hurt you, he loves you too much, that's why he's jealous, he's afraid to lose you. But I'm telling you, I have lived your future and it's not pretty. It's only going to get worse. You're a young girl, you do not need to be stuck in a relationship that most likely is going to spiral out of control. And the longer you stay in the relationship, the harder its going to be to leave in the long run. I'm not telling you what to do one way or the other, because you have to make the decision on your own, but I strongly encourage you to look at the relationship as honestly as you can and make an informed decision, because this is not a healthy situation. Good luck!!0 -
lesbian girlfriends of my girlfriend do scare me and yes it is because i am insecure..
they can be burly dikes or lovely "friends"
lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...
we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...
if things flow towards the girl then enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us
Ugh. I'm bisexual (a label I hate to use, but I won't get into that), and this just makes my stomach turn. Ironically enough, though, despite the fact that all women are apparently God's gift to women, I am married to a man. Funny how things work out.0 -
i understand that you dont dig chicks.. im not trying to say otherwise...
its just that when guys see chicks digging his chick then he starts to worry..
sure we got parts that girl;s can only pretend to have...
BUT
if he is lucky he gets to watch... if not then he gets to "watch" his girl run off somewhere and have "times" with someone else...
either way he is not included in the actual physical interaction...
he is left out... not saying that he shouldnt be sometimes... just saying that he is...0 -
I've also seen really possessive men and women who cheat themselves.The first thing abusive and insecure men do is make their woman separate from every person in their life that they could turn to for help and support.
^ this
i am pretty sure you are probably going to disagree with this 100% but you need to take a serious look and your relationship and choose to stay or leave. I know you're thinking that there's no way he would every do anything to hurt you, he loves you too much, that's why he's jealous, he's afraid to lose you. But I'm telling you, I have lived your future and it's not pretty. It's only going to get worse. You're a young girl, you do not need to be stuck in a relationship that most likely is going to spiral out of control. And the longer you stay in the relationship, the harder its going to be to leave in the long run. I'm not telling you what to do one way or the other, because you have to make the decision on your own, but I strongly encourage you to look at the relationship as honestly as you can and make an informed decision, because this is not a healthy situation. Good luck!!0
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