CHEESY JOKES THREAD

Options
12467…13

Replies

  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 330 Member
    Options
    Roses are red, violets are blue

    I have a gun--get in the van

    Love it.

    One I made up when I was a kid:

    Where do cat's get their fleas?

    -The flea market.
  • Behl9
    Behl9 Posts: 95 Member
    Options
    What's the safest place in a haunted house?
    The living room!

    I've got a great magic trick-- throw a pumpkin in the air and it comes back down SQUASH!

    Why didn't Cinderella make the soccer team?
    She kept running away from the ball.

    Why did the lettuce blush?
    It saw the salad dressing.
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 330 Member
    Options
    What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked into his office?

    I can clearly see you're nuts!

    As a psych major, I"m stealing this one for further use.
  • staps065
    staps065 Posts: 837 Member
    Options
    How can you tell a Blonde's been working on your computer? There's White Out all over the screen! :tongue:
  • Lukazetta
    Lukazetta Posts: 427 Member
    Options
    "I used to have a job crushing cans... it was soda pressing."
  • CoachDave2012
    CoachDave2012 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take him out for a drag.
  • lalalalyndsey
    lalalalyndsey Posts: 565
    Options
    What do you call a fish with no eyes?

    A fsh
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    Options
    If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45 of them, what does he have?

    Diabetes. John has diabetes.

    I laugh every time.
  • CoachDave2012
    CoachDave2012 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? 11... one to make the batter and 10 to peal the M&Ms.
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 330 Member
    Options
    One that a friend growing up made up:

    "You're so old, when you were growing up rainbows were in black and white."

    Another one he made up (if it offends I apologize):

    "You're so old. when you were growing up you didn't wear Air Jordan's you wore Air Moses'."
  • CoachDave2012
    CoachDave2012 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    What do you cal a brunette and three blondes on a street corner? Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.

    That one is kinda dated...think pizza hut.
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
    Options
    I love this thread. SO MUCH.
  • hannp
    hannp Posts: 34
    Options
    Why didnt the bicycle move?
    It was two tired!
    haha
  • CoachDave2012
    CoachDave2012 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    Did you hear the one about the turtle that mugged the snail?
    The cops get there and ask the snail if he can identify the turtle and the snail says " I don't know, it all happened so fast."
  • AEB_WV
    AEB_WV Posts: 323 Member
    Options
    Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9 !
  • shell4short76
    shell4short76 Posts: 28 Member
    Options
    Why do gorillas have big nostrils??

    Because they have big fingers!
  • missykm7
    missykm7 Posts: 42
    Options
    What's a pirates favorite letter?

    R you say?

    Nope, it's actually P...kinda like an R, but missing a leg.
  • hannp
    hannp Posts: 34
    Options
    Seen a few similar to this but
    What do you call a man with a shovel?
    Doug
    What do you call a man without a shovel?
    Dougless
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
    Options
    What do u get if u cross a rotweiller with a Labrador puppy?

    A dog that scares the *kitten* out of you and then runs away with the toilet paper.

    (people in the UK will probably only get this)

    I got this one! We had a lab/rottie and that is EXACTLY how he was!
  • CoachDave2012
    CoachDave2012 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    Knock knock!
    Who's there?
    Nobody
    Nobody who?

Categories