CHEESY JOKES THREAD

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Replies

  • healthychx
    healthychx Posts: 8 Member
    A mushroom walks into a bar and hops up onto a stool.

    The bartender says, "We don't serve ur kind here".

    The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fungi".
  • Scoobiesnax
    Scoobiesnax Posts: 148 Member
    What did the fish say when it hit a wall?


    Dam


    BAHAHA !!!
  • CoachDave2012
    CoachDave2012 Posts: 34 Member
    What do you get when you cross Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel?

    Either a great looking kid with incredible music talent...
    or
    a kid who's not too bright and looks like a bassett hound.
  • taxidermist15
    taxidermist15 Posts: 677 Member
    what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile?

    get in the batmobile robin
  • deedeetris
    deedeetris Posts: 207 Member
    Thanks for all the laughs--ok here I go:

    What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging by the window? Kurt 'n Rod

    A skeleton walks in to a bar and says, "I'll have a beer and a mop."


    By the way, I loved the Knock, knock/get in the van and the girl with two black eyes!! Totally politically incorrect--=--story of my life!!
  • KristenStone
    KristenStone Posts: 106 Member
    You got any crackers?





    no? So you're cracka-lackin?


    Haha I'm lame.


    How about this one? Wanna hear a joke about a hawk?


    Hawkward....
    (It works best at an awkward moment. :))
  • HardcorePork
    HardcorePork Posts: 109 Member
    My gf loves me cause I'm foreign...

    But you're from Nebraska...

    Yea. But she says I have Roman hands and Russian fingers
  • deedeetris
    deedeetris Posts: 207 Member
    This is courtesy of a Laffy Taffy:

    What were Tarzan's famous last words? "Who greased the vine?"
  • b3kah5
    b3kah5 Posts: 280 Member
    What do u call a deer with no eyes?

    No idea.

    An oldie but a goodie

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

    Still no idear
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member

    How about this one? Wanna hear a joke about a hawk?


    Hawkward....
    (It works best at an awkward moment. :))

    HOLY HELL I'm stealing this
  • FORIANN
    FORIANN Posts: 273 Member
    What's small and screams and can't turn corners?

    A baby....with a spear through it.
  • b3kah5
    b3kah5 Posts: 280 Member
    What do u call a deer with no eyes?

    No idea.

    An oldie but a goodie

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

    Still no idear

    What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and that has been neutered?

    Still no f@6&en idear.
  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
    I saw a pirate walking down the street the other day and he had a steering wheel sticking out of his fly, so I said to him " hey, you have a steering wheel sticking out of your fly" and he replied "aarrgghh, and it's driving me nuts".
  • rachelleahsmom
    rachelleahsmom Posts: 442 Member
    Thanks for the laughs!

    Two olives were ona plate. One fell off. The other asked "are you okay?"
    It responded "I'll live"
  • b3kah5
    b3kah5 Posts: 280 Member
    My six year old made this up-
    I don't want to see the "Hunger Games" because I don't like cooking shows."
  • b3kah5
    b3kah5 Posts: 280 Member
    What do you call a fish with no eyes?

    A fsh

    What do you call a fish with 8 eyes?

    f i i i i i i i i sh
  • HBL2012
    HBL2012 Posts: 31
    My six year old made this up-
    I don't want to see the "Hunger Games" because I don't like cooking shows."




    OMG, thats soo adorable,

    Haha this is the best thread EVER!!
  • gr8dayao
    gr8dayao Posts: 27 Member
    What do you get when you cross a female dog with a GPS?

    A B**** that can find you!
  • whoiskat23
    whoiskat23 Posts: 103 Member
    Don't know if these were posted or not...



    Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? Cause he's a fungi.

    Lol! I love corny jokes. Lol!

    Edit to remove double joke. Lol.
  • gr8dayao
    gr8dayao Posts: 27 Member
    What's the definition of a fart?

    A turd honking for the right of way.
  • roadrunner32
    roadrunner32 Posts: 51
    After mowing the lawn yesterday, I searched everywhere for my misplaced rake.

    And then it hit me!
  • roadrunner32
    roadrunner32 Posts: 51
    I just found a human hair in my Big Mac!

    **** me, when did they start using natural ingredients?
  • TheMerryPup
    TheMerryPup Posts: 186 Member
    Two cannibals are standing around a bubbling cauldron.

    One takes a taste and says to the other, "Dr. Livingston, I presume?"
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
    you are all wonderful for contributing.

    i'm glad I'm not the only one who can truly appreciate a cheesy joke.

    that said, if you're going to see a doctor

    don't see Dr. Acula
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,069 Member
    What do u call a deer with no eyes?

    No idea.

    An oldie but a goodie

    and no legs....

    still no idea
  • Claible
    Claible Posts: 106 Member
    why don't banana's sunbath? because they'll peel
  • jbuntu
    jbuntu Posts: 54 Member
    How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Two, but I don't how the heck they got in there...
  • jbuntu
    jbuntu Posts: 54 Member
    Guy returns from a sales trip and tells his boss, "I just got back from Green Bay and boy, there's nothing there but football players and hookers."

    Boss says, "My wife is from Green Bay."

    Guy replies, "What position does she play?"
  • 967_1111
    967_1111 Posts: 221 Member
    What's the definition of happiness?



    A picture of your mother-in-law on a milk carton.
  • harley0269
    harley0269 Posts: 384 Member
    bump ~till i can think of a good one! lol

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