Just found out bf doesn't like (super) skinny girls?

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LaurenAOK
LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
in Motivation and Support
The other night my boyfriend threw a party, which I attended. After I'd had a few drinks a girl from his work came over to the party and, I'm not normally a jealous person but she was really pretty and I felt a bit uncomfortable knowing that they worked together. I trust my boyfriend completely, that was just my insecurities talking :P

Anyway, I was a bit tipsy so I confided in him that she was really pretty and I was jealous. He laughed and said, "Seriously? Her? No way, wayyyyy too skinny. I'm not even close to attracted to her." I was kind of taken aback because this girl actually looked the way I hope to look one day! So I jokingly said, "So if I get that thin will you still like me?" He said, "Of course I'll still like you, babe. But I honestly think you have the perfect body right now. I love your curves."

I mean, I am at a healthy weight now (lost 15 pounds) and starting to get more toned. I think he was more talking about the fact that I have boobs and a butt (I am proud of both - and the other girl was pretty curve-less in those areas). So, I think even as I continue to tone up and hopefully lose some more stomach fat I will still have those "curves" that he likes. I know he's really attracted to my hips and those are just part of my bone structure, so it shouldn't really be an issue if I continue to get thinner. Still, I'm a little nervous about getting smaller now because I don't want him to get any less attracted to me!

I feel like this is an odd problem to have, haha. Has anyone been in a similar boat?

ETA: Also, I know this journey is for ME, not him. I am going to continue to work towards my goal because I want to be happy with myself, first and foremost. But I can't deny that his opinion of me does matter.
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Replies

  • jcgrant43
    jcgrant43 Posts: 64
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    I agree with your boyfriend. I've dated a few ironing boards, and not so attractive. A woman ought to have curves! A guy ought to have bigger shoulders and chest than his waist. It goes both ways! :smile:
  • stayxtrue
    stayxtrue Posts: 1,190 Member
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    I completely agree with your Boyfriend, super skinny girls are not attractive, as pretty as the may seem to be, you want your gf to look healthy
  • wingsandgills
    wingsandgills Posts: 48 Member
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    It's an interesting concept. I know a lot of guys who are not attracted to super-thin girls. However, I don't think you need to worry! It sounds like he's really into you, and will not stop wanting you just because you lost weight or got fit. He's still going to see you as the beautiful girl you've always been to him. So don't let it hold you back or cause you stress!
  • RunDottyRun
    RunDottyRun Posts: 95
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    Men generally don't want to feel like they're gonna split their gf in half when getting intimate... just my opinion. A healthy weight is perfect imo :)
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    awwww, he said that?? so sweet!!! my bf doesnt want to be skin n bones either! men like their curves!!! lol
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    btw, your very pretty! dont let some twig make u jealous!!! lol
  • jill92787
    jill92787 Posts: 158 Member
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    There's a difference between super skinny and fit and toned. If he likes your body shape now, you should be fine, because generally you keep your shape as you lose weight. Women who are pear shaped won't suddenly become apple shaped because they lost weight, they'll become a smaller but still pear shaped woman, if that makes sense. Get to the place where you are happy and just try to keep the conversation lines open with him.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    No way, wayyyyy too skinny. I'm not even close to attracted to her." I was kind of taken aback because this girl actually looked the way I hope to look one day! So I jokingly said, "So if I get that thin will you still like me?" He said, "Of course I'll still like you, babe. But I honestly think you have the perfect body right now. I love your curves."


    Honestly he was probably trying to make you feel better, do not read much into it. Be healthy and NEVER live for anyone else
  • carrotstick2012
    carrotstick2012 Posts: 161
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    From what I can gather most men do not like skinny girls and like curves on their women. I know my husband doesn't want me to lose weight but I'm doing it anyway - for me.
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,350 Member
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    Kick him to the curb! (Isn't that what most women say when they're fella tells them the opposite of what they want to hear?)

    Seriously though... Is your goal weight healthy? Fit? Or just skinny for the sake of being skinny?

    You'll find that most girls think guys like super skinny, so they set that as a goal, only to find out that in reality, guys like something that looks healthy. It's human nature for guys to be attracted to a girl with some curves (not meaning fat) or an athletic build.
  • mrsepiphany
    mrsepiphany Posts: 142 Member
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    my hubby said the same thing. I was telling him that i wanted to get back to my size i was when i met him and he thought that was a little small too lol. Good thing about it is he supports me no matter what. That might be another reason i have gotten so big.... his unconditional love and never makes me feel any less attractive than i am.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!
  • bryburry
    bryburry Posts: 2
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    I gotta agree with the bf ... skinny doesn't do it for me. I know a lot of women see these seriously thin women and think they have to look like that to be beautiful. Where did they get this from? I think there's this small army of loser men who made up that skinny is hot just to bring some women down a peg or two so they'd consider being with them. If tha's the guy you know, ladies (in general), you need to walk away and find a real man who just wants his woman to be happy and healthy. Glad your bf agrees ;-)

    I like a butt and some hips ... to be a bit crude, if I'm being intimate, I need to be able to smack an a** and have it talk back to me ;-) I don't want a woman I feel like I can hurt in bed because she's so fraile.

    Congratulations on your 15 lbs.! Tone is good, but just don't lose the best parts of you that make you a woman.
  • Elen_Sia
    Elen_Sia Posts: 638 Member
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    To the OP: I am actually jealous your boyfriend has noticed the changes to your body and indirectly acknowledged your hard work.
  • jill92787
    jill92787 Posts: 158 Member
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    don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!

    It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!

    It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.

    perhaps you should read the posts above saying words like "frail" "twig" and "no curves".......so tired of reading crap like that! What if I stated that "fat rolls" gross me out? I don't think too many people would be appreciative! Just sayin.......
  • silkysly
    silkysly Posts: 701 Member
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    I don’t think I’m super skinny, but I hate it when my family makes skinny comments to me. I eat a lot, but I eat healthy & am training for a marathon. I’m in it for ME & nobody else. Period.
  • shamr0ck
    shamr0ck Posts: 296 Member
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    I think there is a difference between "skinny" (which i find as offensive as "fat"), and lean, which i equate more with healthy - as long as it isn't too lean. But every person needs to decide for themselves what a good weight is, health issues aside. For my height, BMI charts want me to be between 109 and 145 pounds. That's a *huge* range, and i know from past history that anything under 125 makes me look skeletal, and that was when i was 20 years younger. Now, i think 135 would probably be at the low end of where i'd look good. Hubby says he found me just as attractive when i was 50 pounds heavier than i am now. While i think that's sweet, i don't know how it could possibly be true.

    You have to do what is right for you, not what is right for him.
  • jill92787
    jill92787 Posts: 158 Member
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    don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!

    It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.

    perhaps you should read the posts above saying words like "frail" and "no curves".......so tired of reading crap like that! What if I stated that "fat rolls" gross me out? I don't think too many people would be appreciative! Just say.......


    ...so don't read it. Everyone else was being quite respectful and giving honest opinions until you posted. And honestly if you said that fat rolls gross you out a lot of people here would agree. A lot of people use this site specifically for similar reasons or did you miss the part where this is a sight used primarily for weight loss?
  • GoldspursX3
    GoldspursX3 Posts: 516 Member
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    don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!

    It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.

    perhaps you should read the posts above saying words like "frail" and "no curves".......so tired of reading crap like that! What if I stated that "fat rolls" gross me out? I don't think too many people would be appreciative! Just sayin.......

    So if they have curves then obviously they are not talking about the people you are so fiercely defending. BTW, I love for my woman to feel like a woman. Toned but with a softness to her. Have a great day!

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