Just found out bf doesn't like (super) skinny girls?
LaurenAOK
Posts: 2,475 Member
The other night my boyfriend threw a party, which I attended. After I'd had a few drinks a girl from his work came over to the party and, I'm not normally a jealous person but she was really pretty and I felt a bit uncomfortable knowing that they worked together. I trust my boyfriend completely, that was just my insecurities talking :P
Anyway, I was a bit tipsy so I confided in him that she was really pretty and I was jealous. He laughed and said, "Seriously? Her? No way, wayyyyy too skinny. I'm not even close to attracted to her." I was kind of taken aback because this girl actually looked the way I hope to look one day! So I jokingly said, "So if I get that thin will you still like me?" He said, "Of course I'll still like you, babe. But I honestly think you have the perfect body right now. I love your curves."
I mean, I am at a healthy weight now (lost 15 pounds) and starting to get more toned. I think he was more talking about the fact that I have boobs and a butt (I am proud of both - and the other girl was pretty curve-less in those areas). So, I think even as I continue to tone up and hopefully lose some more stomach fat I will still have those "curves" that he likes. I know he's really attracted to my hips and those are just part of my bone structure, so it shouldn't really be an issue if I continue to get thinner. Still, I'm a little nervous about getting smaller now because I don't want him to get any less attracted to me!
I feel like this is an odd problem to have, haha. Has anyone been in a similar boat?
ETA: Also, I know this journey is for ME, not him. I am going to continue to work towards my goal because I want to be happy with myself, first and foremost. But I can't deny that his opinion of me does matter.
Anyway, I was a bit tipsy so I confided in him that she was really pretty and I was jealous. He laughed and said, "Seriously? Her? No way, wayyyyy too skinny. I'm not even close to attracted to her." I was kind of taken aback because this girl actually looked the way I hope to look one day! So I jokingly said, "So if I get that thin will you still like me?" He said, "Of course I'll still like you, babe. But I honestly think you have the perfect body right now. I love your curves."
I mean, I am at a healthy weight now (lost 15 pounds) and starting to get more toned. I think he was more talking about the fact that I have boobs and a butt (I am proud of both - and the other girl was pretty curve-less in those areas). So, I think even as I continue to tone up and hopefully lose some more stomach fat I will still have those "curves" that he likes. I know he's really attracted to my hips and those are just part of my bone structure, so it shouldn't really be an issue if I continue to get thinner. Still, I'm a little nervous about getting smaller now because I don't want him to get any less attracted to me!
I feel like this is an odd problem to have, haha. Has anyone been in a similar boat?
ETA: Also, I know this journey is for ME, not him. I am going to continue to work towards my goal because I want to be happy with myself, first and foremost. But I can't deny that his opinion of me does matter.
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Replies
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I agree with your boyfriend. I've dated a few ironing boards, and not so attractive. A woman ought to have curves! A guy ought to have bigger shoulders and chest than his waist. It goes both ways!
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I completely agree with your Boyfriend, super skinny girls are not attractive, as pretty as the may seem to be, you want your gf to look healthy0
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It's an interesting concept. I know a lot of guys who are not attracted to super-thin girls. However, I don't think you need to worry! It sounds like he's really into you, and will not stop wanting you just because you lost weight or got fit. He's still going to see you as the beautiful girl you've always been to him. So don't let it hold you back or cause you stress!0
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Men generally don't want to feel like they're gonna split their gf in half when getting intimate... just my opinion. A healthy weight is perfect imo 0
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awwww, he said that?? so sweet!!! my bf doesnt want to be skin n bones either! men like their curves!!! lol0
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btw, your very pretty! dont let some twig make u jealous!!! lol0
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There's a difference between super skinny and fit and toned. If he likes your body shape now, you should be fine, because generally you keep your shape as you lose weight. Women who are pear shaped won't suddenly become apple shaped because they lost weight, they'll become a smaller but still pear shaped woman, if that makes sense. Get to the place where you are happy and just try to keep the conversation lines open with him.0
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No way, wayyyyy too skinny. I'm not even close to attracted to her." I was kind of taken aback because this girl actually looked the way I hope to look one day! So I jokingly said, "So if I get that thin will you still like me?" He said, "Of course I'll still like you, babe. But I honestly think you have the perfect body right now. I love your curves."
Honestly he was probably trying to make you feel better, do not read much into it. Be healthy and NEVER live for anyone else0 -
From what I can gather most men do not like skinny girls and like curves on their women. I know my husband doesn't want me to lose weight but I'm doing it anyway - for me.0
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Kick him to the curb! (Isn't that what most women say when they're fella tells them the opposite of what they want to hear?)
Seriously though... Is your goal weight healthy? Fit? Or just skinny for the sake of being skinny?
You'll find that most girls think guys like super skinny, so they set that as a goal, only to find out that in reality, guys like something that looks healthy. It's human nature for guys to be attracted to a girl with some curves (not meaning fat) or an athletic build.0 -
my hubby said the same thing. I was telling him that i wanted to get back to my size i was when i met him and he thought that was a little small too lol. Good thing about it is he supports me no matter what. That might be another reason i have gotten so big.... his unconditional love and never makes me feel any less attractive than i am.0
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don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!0
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I gotta agree with the bf ... skinny doesn't do it for me. I know a lot of women see these seriously thin women and think they have to look like that to be beautiful. Where did they get this from? I think there's this small army of loser men who made up that skinny is hot just to bring some women down a peg or two so they'd consider being with them. If tha's the guy you know, ladies (in general), you need to walk away and find a real man who just wants his woman to be happy and healthy. Glad your bf agrees ;-)
I like a butt and some hips ... to be a bit crude, if I'm being intimate, I need to be able to smack an a** and have it talk back to me ;-) I don't want a woman I feel like I can hurt in bed because she's so fraile.
Congratulations on your 15 lbs.! Tone is good, but just don't lose the best parts of you that make you a woman.0 -
To the OP: I am actually jealous your boyfriend has noticed the changes to your body and indirectly acknowledged your hard work.0
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don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!
It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.0 -
don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!
It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.
perhaps you should read the posts above saying words like "frail" "twig" and "no curves".......so tired of reading crap like that! What if I stated that "fat rolls" gross me out? I don't think too many people would be appreciative! Just sayin.......0 -
I don’t think I’m super skinny, but I hate it when my family makes skinny comments to me. I eat a lot, but I eat healthy & am training for a marathon. I’m in it for ME & nobody else. Period.0
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I think there is a difference between "skinny" (which i find as offensive as "fat"), and lean, which i equate more with healthy - as long as it isn't too lean. But every person needs to decide for themselves what a good weight is, health issues aside. For my height, BMI charts want me to be between 109 and 145 pounds. That's a *huge* range, and i know from past history that anything under 125 makes me look skeletal, and that was when i was 20 years younger. Now, i think 135 would probably be at the low end of where i'd look good. Hubby says he found me just as attractive when i was 50 pounds heavier than i am now. While i think that's sweet, i don't know how it could possibly be true.
You have to do what is right for you, not what is right for him.0 -
don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!
It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.
perhaps you should read the posts above saying words like "frail" and "no curves".......so tired of reading crap like that! What if I stated that "fat rolls" gross me out? I don't think too many people would be appreciative! Just say.......
...so don't read it. Everyone else was being quite respectful and giving honest opinions until you posted. And honestly if you said that fat rolls gross you out a lot of people here would agree. A lot of people use this site specifically for similar reasons or did you miss the part where this is a sight used primarily for weight loss?0 -
don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!
It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.
perhaps you should read the posts above saying words like "frail" and "no curves".......so tired of reading crap like that! What if I stated that "fat rolls" gross me out? I don't think too many people would be appreciative! Just sayin.......
So if they have curves then obviously they are not talking about the people you are so fiercely defending. BTW, I love for my woman to feel like a woman. Toned but with a softness to her. Have a great day!0 -
don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!
It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.
perhaps you should read the posts above saying words like "frail" and "no curves".......so tired of reading crap like that! What if I stated that "fat rolls" gross me out? I don't think too many people would be appreciative! Just say.......
...so don't read it. Everyone else was being quite respectful and giving honest opinions until you posted. And honestly if you said that fat rolls gross you out a lot of people here would agree. A lot of people use this site specifically for similar reasons or did you miss the part where this is a sight used primarily for weight loss?
you must have missed that the site is called myFITNESSpal! I'm out-no need to reply. No time for your BS-just stating my opinion like EVERYONE else!
Cheers and good luck to you OP.0 -
don't even start with the "skinny" bashing. Thin or "skinny" women CAN have curves, boobs and a butt!
It's not "skinny bashing" it's promoting EVERYONE have healthy and realistic goals and discuss an issue that came up for this particular person in her own life. It's not like someone suddenly was like "I hate all those skinny B'tches because they're freaking ugly." It was a question regarding personal preferences.
perhaps you should read the posts above saying words like "frail" and "no curves".......so tired of reading crap like that! What if I stated that "fat rolls" gross me out? I don't think too many people would be appreciative! Just say.......
...so don't read it. Everyone else was being quite respectful and giving honest opinions until you posted. And honestly if you said that fat rolls gross you out a lot of people here would agree. A lot of people use this site specifically for similar reasons or did you miss the part where this is a sight used primarily for weight loss?
you must have missed that the site is called myFITNESSpal! I'm out-no need to reply. No time for your BS-just stating my opinion like EVERYONE else!
Cheers and good luck to you OP.
BWAHAHAHA.....deuces0 -
I completely agree with your Boyfriend, super skinny girls are not attractive, as pretty as the may seem to be, you want your gf to look healthy
i am with this guy.. skinny girls are just... gross?0 -
The other night my boyfriend threw a party, which I attended. After I'd had a few drinks a girl from his work came over to the party and, I'm not normally a jealous person but she was really pretty and I felt a bit uncomfortable knowing that they worked together. I trust my boyfriend completely, that was just my insecurities talking :P
Anyway, I was a bit tipsy so I confided in him that she was really pretty and I was jealous. He laughed and said, "Seriously? Her? No way, wayyyyy too skinny. I'm not even close to attracted to her." I was kind of taken aback because this girl actually looked the way I hope to look one day! So I jokingly said, "So if I get that thin will you still like me?" He said, "Of course I'll still like you, babe. But I honestly think you have the perfect body right now. I love your curves."
I mean, I am at a healthy weight now (lost 15 pounds) and starting to get more toned. I think he was more talking about the fact that I have boobs and a butt (I am proud of both - and the other girl was pretty curve-less in those areas). So, I think even as I continue to tone up and hopefully lose some more stomach fat I will still have those "curves" that he likes. I know he's really attracted to my hips and those are just part of my bone structure, so it shouldn't really be an issue if I continue to get thinner. Still, I'm a little nervous about getting smaller now because I don't want him to get any less attracted to me!
I feel like this is an odd problem to have, haha. Has anyone been in a similar boat?
ETA: Also, I know this journey is for ME, not him. I am going to continue to work towards my goal because I want to be happy with myself, first and foremost. But I can't deny that his opinion of me does matter.
Oh honey...
He only said it to calm your insecurities. Guys (the ones with brains) aren't really out there going "I like her because she has curves, I don't like her because she's too skinny." There are a myriad of reasons to be interested in a woman and body shape is just one very small one.
Do yourself a favor and work on loving yourself a bit more. I don't mean to sound rude, but you sound very insecure. You were worried about the fact that he worked with an attractive woman and then when he tried to reassure you you became worried he'd no longer be attracted to you in the future.
Relax. Breathe. He's with you. Probably because of all the wonderful things you have going on. Learn to love yourself for them. There's more to you than your hips.0 -
btw, your very pretty! dont let some twig make u jealous!!! lol
I love how its totally ok to call thin women names,and when a woman is calling another woman twig,bag of bones ect it does not make them petty at all0 -
my boyfriend always said the same thing, but then i lost weight and he loves the way i look now too. i wasnt fat before, i'm no twig now, but i guess it made me realise, after being together for awhile, its me he loves, not my body 0
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He only said it to calm your insecurities. Guys (the ones with brains) aren't really out there going "I like her because she has curves, I don't like her because she's too skinny." There are a myriad of reasons to be interested in a woman and body shape is just one very small one.
I definitely think this!
Work to whatever shape you want to be! As long as it is healthy, he will love you regardless. He is not just with you for your body.0 -
We can appreciate the beauty of curvy women without diminishing the beauty of women who weren't fortunate enough to have been born with larger breasts and backsides. It's not the thin girls fault that she isn't shaped like jlo anymore than its the curvier girls fault for not looking like Victoria beckham.0
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My husband moved overseas for a job when we were first married. I was finishing my degree and decided to get in really good shape. I was always small I just though I would step it up and try to get to the lowest BMI without going underweight. It seems foolish now since I am a mom and about 10 years wiser but I saw it as a fun challenge. Either way the first night back with my husband we were fooling around and he looked at me and said, "have your breast gotten smaller". This after working my butt off! That was what he noticed! I went right back to eating my old ways and gained back the 10 or so pounds I lost. I think it is a personal preference that depends on the guy. Some like guys like small girls and some guys like women with more curves! That is how the race has survived! I wouldn't worry about it too much. And if he doesn't like you for your size or shape then you are together for the wrong reasons.0
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Woah, left for a meeting and came back to so many replies! I think there are a few things I need to address/clarify, so please bear with me.
First of all, I want to apologize to anyone I may have offended with this topic. When I posted it, I was telling the story as it happened and I didn't stop to consider that it could be hurtful to girls with naturally "skinny" body types. It was not my intention in any way to put those body types down! I think all body types can be beautiful, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because my boyfriend said he doesn't particularly like skinny girls doesn't mean other guys feel the same. Everyone has different preferences and again, I'm sorry if this was upsetting for skinner-type people to read.Seriously though... Is your goal weight healthy? Fit? Or just skinny for the sake of being skinny?
You'll find that most girls think guys like super skinny, so they set that as a goal, only to find out that in reality, guys like something that looks healthy. It's human nature for guys to be attracted to a girl with some curves (not meaning fat) or an athletic build.
My goal is definitely to be healthy and fit. I'm actually already at my goal weight; 130 pounds at 5'4", which is directly in the middle of the "healthy" BMI range. However, I have started working out a lot more and am trying to tone up, so I'm assuming in the process I'll lose some more inches. That's what I meant when I referenced getting thinner. Right now I still have some belly fat and around 21% body fat, and I'd like to see that number go down.Do yourself a favor and work on loving yourself a bit more. I don't mean to sound rude, but you sound very insecure. You were worried about the fact that he worked with an attractive woman and then when he tried to reassure you you became worried he'd no longer be attracted to you in the future.
I definitely see how my post came off that way, but that's actually not a good representation of my personality. Honestly, I feel HOT in my new body and I can't wait to finish my journey! I do love myself plenty and have very few self-esteem issues. It also doesn't hurt that my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful every single day, notices my progress and congratulates me, etc. I've actually never been jealous of another girl - I really think this was kind of the alcohol talking. She honestly was really attractive - pretty face, long shiny hair - the kind of girl I'd envy even if my bf wasn't involved in any way, haha.If he likes your body shape now, you should be fine, because generally you keep your shape as you lose weight. Women who are pear shaped won't suddenly become apple shaped because they lost weight, they'll become a smaller but still pear shaped woman, if that makes sense.
That definitely makes sense, thanks. I think your'e right - he likes my body type and that's not going to change. As I said in my first post, he seems to have quite an affinity for my hips, and they're not going anywhere :laugh:
Honestly, I posted this because I thought it was just kind of interesting - most people don't want to get bigger because they want others to be attracted to them; not the other way around. I'm not that worried about it because I know he loves me for me - I'd still love him if he gained a ton of weight! (He is very lean now and that's the type of guy I'm most attracted to). I was just kind of interested to see if anyone had similar experiences
Thanks for all the replies!btw, your very pretty!
Thank you, you're very kind!0
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