CHEESY JOKES THREAD

1235789

Replies

  • harley0269
    harley0269 Posts: 384 Member
    A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves.
    "What are you doing in there?" She asked. The rabbit replied:
    "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?",
    To which the lady replied "Yes."
    "Well," the rabbit said,

    "I'm westing."

    Sorry... I just couldn't stop myself.
    Have a Wonderful Easter...
  • upnorthtim
    upnorthtim Posts: 376 Member
    Why did the pervert cross the road...........





    He was stuck to a chicken!
  • upnorthtim
    upnorthtim Posts: 376 Member
    What's stucco...?


    It's what happens when you step in bubblegummo.....
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    Whats Cheaper? Beer Nuts? Or Deer Nuts?

    Beer Nuts $1.99
    Deer Nuts... Under a buck... Haaaah.

    :tongue:
  • Lee510
    Lee510 Posts: 46
    What do you do when your giant gets wrinkled?


    Iron giant!
  • Claire594
    Claire594 Posts: 349 Member

    What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
    Doug

    What do u call a man without a spade on his head?

    Douglas
  • Claire594
    Claire594 Posts: 349 Member
    What do u call an Irish man with one leg?

    Liam.

    What do u call an Irish woman with one leg?

    Eisleen (pronounced i lean)

    Why did the potato cross the road?

    He thought he saw a peeler on the otherside.

    What do you get if u cross a snowman with a vampire?

    Frostbite
  • mstemen
    mstemen Posts: 108 Member
    What do you see when the doughboy bends over?
    Doughnuts

    What did Tennessee? What Arkansas
  • Salamanda425
    Salamanda425 Posts: 358
    A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

    What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette.
  • ConcordPhil
    ConcordPhil Posts: 118 Member
    So this termite walks into a bar and says "is the bar tender here"?
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    This needs to be revived.

    Hey, did you hear the one about the indian that drank five gallons of tea one night? Yeah. five gallons.

    They found him d e a d. . . dead the next morning.

    Drowned in his tea pee.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    Two cannibals are standing around a bubbling cauldron.

    One takes a taste and says to the other, "Dr. Livingston, I presume?"
    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
  • ndmain1977
    ndmain1977 Posts: 69 Member
    A little racy, but:

    Did you hear about the guy that was born with 5 penises?



    Pants fit him like a glove.

    Ba DUM pshhhh
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    what do you call a cow with no legs?
    ground beef.
    What do you call a cow with two legs?

    Lean beef

    What do you call a cow with one leg?

    Extra lean beef

    Hey, did you hear the one about the cow that tried to jump over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.

    And the worst cow joke I know (yeah, I made this one up myself)
    What does a dairy farmer and a proctologist have in common? They both work in the dairy air.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    Once I get going. . .

    Hey, did I ever tell you about my uncle who had a rabbit farm? He always said it was a hare raising experience.


    There's also a joke about braunschweiger-- it's the wurst.
  • Kooraloo
    Kooraloo Posts: 362 Member
    This is a terrible sexist one told to me by my coach...

    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
    Nothing, you already told that b!tch twice.

    I like my woman like I like my glasses... sitting on my face.
  • ndmain1977
    ndmain1977 Posts: 69 Member
    You know beer makes you smarter.....



    It made Budweiser....


    (works better if you say it out loud)
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    How do you milk an ant?

    Well, first you get a low stool. . .
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    69 used to be my favorite #, but now it's 77.

    Because you get ate (8) more.

    haha


    what's wrong with 6.9?

    it's a great thing ruined by a period

    What's a 68?

    You do me and I'll owe you one
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    How many server admins does it take to change a light bulb?
    It's always been like that
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    What's small and screams and can't turn corners?

    A baby....with a spear through it.

    What's black and white and red and can't fit thru a door?

    a nun with a spear thru her head
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

    Snowballs.
  • Lee510
    Lee510 Posts: 46
    What's red, white, and blue and goes 100 miles an hour?

    Smurf's in a blender.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?

    . . .
  • Lee510
    Lee510 Posts: 46
    End the seat up/seat down debate by using the sink!
  • Rixx31
    Rixx31 Posts: 220 Member
    What do you call a...

    Man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool?
    Bob

    A man with a shovel on his head?
    Doug

    A woman who can balance a bottle of beer in each hand and a pool cue between her knees?
    Beatrix Potter
  • Rixx31
    Rixx31 Posts: 220 Member
    One more.

    Q:What do you get if you cross a donkey leg with an onion?

    A: A piece of *kitten* that makes your eyes water
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
    Q: What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?



    A: Dr. Dre
  • MNguerita
    MNguerita Posts: 199 Member
    what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

    Eleph-ino! (get it??? He-double hockey sticks if I know?!?!?) cracks me up every time!!!!
  • ashbee03
    ashbee03 Posts: 274 Member
    how do you make a tissue dance?

    ...


    you put a little boogie in it.


    :P
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