Dating site slams on weight
fitforlife34
Posts: 331 Member
I couldn't believe it! I started back up on POF dating site (because I had a lot of good dates back in July) thought I'd give it a try. I added one guy, kinda cute, and he was fit, worked out etc. Well, he sent me a letter that wrote:
"Hi, you seem like an interesting person. But...I need a woman who can keep up with me exercise, running etc."
It was like a slap in the face! I didn't care (I didn't know him) but it made me feel kinda depressed. Especially since I'm not fat, and I posted pictures that were flattering (not as many body shots.) lol.
Has anyone else had this same experience, and if so, what did you do to not let it get to you?
Thanks.
"Hi, you seem like an interesting person. But...I need a woman who can keep up with me exercise, running etc."
It was like a slap in the face! I didn't care (I didn't know him) but it made me feel kinda depressed. Especially since I'm not fat, and I posted pictures that were flattering (not as many body shots.) lol.
Has anyone else had this same experience, and if so, what did you do to not let it get to you?
Thanks.
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Replies
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wow the guy sounds like a real douche, at least he revealed his douchyness to you sooner rather than later so you didn't have to waste your time.0
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Yeah, what he said.0
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at least he was honest. i might be the one of the few people who think this, but i dont fault people for not liking certain body types (whether that type be skinny, fat, tall, short) because attraction isnt based on political correctness. if someone doesnt find a certain body type sexually or physically appealing then there really is no way to have a complete relationship, at least in my opinion.
i wouldnt think anything of it. there's something for everyone. for every guy who's not going to be attracted to you there' sure to be another who does.0 -
The bottom line is, if the guy is that shallow to allow assumptions of what you are capable of or your personality he's not worth it. I say forget him and keep on looking. POF is filled with TONS of guys who are losers or are just looking for the hook up. There are also really great guys. Case in point, I met my husband on POF and he's really the most amazing man I've ever dated. They are out there, but just remember, you have to be willingly to only date the awesome guys, not that jerk who assumes he knows who you are.0
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I've never used one of those sites but I do have a suggestion!...
DON'T SWEAT IT!!!
He was obviously way to shallow for you anyway.0 -
Yeah... I got the "sorry" I don't date fat chicks more than once...
Slap in the face all right, but in the end, who cares? Don't need another d-bag in my life... 0 -
I don't think it's shallow at all. People are attracted to what they are attracted to.
Geez....if every guy acted like this every time he got shot down the human race would cease to exist.0 -
I am sorry but I don't see anything wrong with what he said. I have many times wanted to say it to some of the guys that message me. If you want to look atheltic or show that you are into working out maybe post a picture from a 5k or zumba or what ever you do to exercise. That would show that maybe just because you are not a perfect size 2 your are active.
I have a picture from the warrior dash and that is one of the most commented on pictures I have posted.0 -
I have used POF too and all I get are offers for NSA type encounters...:noway:0
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wow the guy sounds like a real douche, at least he revealed his douchyness to you sooner rather than later so you didn't have to waste your time.
THIS. Five times over... To be fair POF is like the trailer park of dating sites.0 -
Yes I have had this happen several times0
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What I find harsh are the sites that match you with people who are lazy slobs just because you're overweight. Sure, I'm 240+ lbs. but I work out a lot... I eat healthy... I don't sit on my butt and play video games or watch TV for hours and hours and hours every night. I lead a healthier lifestyle even though pictures don't always show that. It boils down to the world thinking a fat chick must automatically want a fat dude. If the dude is working on his weight and health an overall well being like I am, sure.... love that!!!! More power to him and his poppin booty. BUT, if they match me with some dude just because he's in the same weight category and he's a sluggish lazy bum... why could I be matched with someone a couple of notches up. I'm not ugly... I'm not lazy... I'm not boorish.... I'm just carrying around some fat that I'm slowly but surely getting rid of. That's where the whole problem starts for me - right from the darn get-go.
In more of an actual response to the topic, I've gotten the negative comments too though. One person actually replied "yttaF".. and I'm like... "uh, I can see that it says "Fatty" backward... did you think I was too stupid to notice." They replied that most fat people just don't get it and then they block those fat people for being both fat and stupid so they could justify blocking them with 'two faults'. Really? WTH?0 -
I haven't used that particular dating site...i used zoosk but stil ran into the same kinda thing from guys. But here's why I think this guy you mentioned sucks!! I have a gym membership altho I rarely use it (shame on me!) and while I was there let me tell you. There were plenty of older women (60+) that could whoop my butt on most of the equipment and there were alot of younger girls that were...healthy and they could out run me, out do me on weights and everything else. So just because a person may be skinny, chunky, fair, old or young doesnt mean they can or can't keep up with someone else's exercise routine!!!0
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Don't waste your feelings on guys who don't even know you. It's a good thing you didn't invest any time on him. You're a beautiful lady... Good luck reaching your goals... Sending you a hug....:bigsmile: .0
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wow the guy sounds like a real douche, at least he revealed his douchyness to you sooner rather than later so you didn't have to waste your time.
THIS. Five times over... To be fair POF is like the trailer park of dating sites.
^^ This...0 -
I thought this was about how dating makes you gain weight with all the meals out and sitting around at movies =P
I feel Okcupid has people a notch up from POF...but generally the internet is a place can be more douchie than in real life.0 -
I think that yeah it may have been shocking but at least he wasn't mean or hateful in the way he said it. We all have preferences in the people we choose to date and if he is a super fit guy that loves the gym that's who he is. The only thing is why do people automatically assume that plus size people aren't or can't be fit or athletic?0
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He was being honest. He could have maybe been a little classier about it, but he was being honest. Nobody wasted anyone's time.0
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wow the guy sounds like a real douche, at least he revealed his douchyness to you sooner rather than later so you didn't have to waste your time.
^^ THIS... Well to be fair I commended his honesty because it takes a lot of courage to tell someone phrases like "I like you but I don't love you", "Well you're pretty but you're just not my type" or "I think you're awesome but I'm not interested" especially when they don't have someone special in theri lives & so most of the time guys (or even some ladies) would play around & keeping your hopes up and then will leave you when they meet someone else.0 -
You could have always thanked him for letting you know that he was an @ss, then wished him luck in finding some one as shallow as he is. That is why they call it plenty of fish. There are many more where that one came from. It becomes a fun game of catch and release when you look at it that way. I found a keeper on there 20lbs ago. Don't let one jerk get you down.
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I think that yeah it may have been shocking but at least he wasn't mean or hateful in the way he said it. We all have preferences in the people we choose to date and if he is a super fit guy that loves the gym that's who he is. The only thing is why do people automatically assume that plus size people aren't or can't be fit or athletic?
stereotypes exist for a reason. there are exceptions, but there is a general rule0 -
Why would you be upset? this guy is being honest. Isnt that what you would want if you're starting a relationship? If i asked a female to be able to keep up with me i know i would be asking for a lot. Most 5ks i would win most of the female divisions. Lets be honest that females who win their races runnin are usually of a certain body type and that's ok. If that's what he wants then move on. Plenty fish in the sea.0
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at least he was honest. i might be the one of the few people who think this, but i dont fault people for not liking certain body types (whether that type be skinny, fat, tall, short) because attraction isnt based on political correctness. if someone doesnt find a certain body type sexually or physically appealing then there really is no way to have a complete relationship, at least in my opinion.
i wouldnt think anything of it. there's something for everyone. for every guy who's not going to be attracted to you there' sure to be another who does.
I agree.0 -
I couldn't believe it! I started back up on POF dating site (because I had a lot of good dates back in July) thought I'd give it a try. I added one guy, kinda cute, and he was fit, worked out etc. Well, he sent me a letter that wrote:
"Hi, you seem like an interesting person. But...I need a woman who can keep up with me exercise, running etc."
It was like a slap in the face! I didn't care (I didn't know him) but it made me feel kinda depressed. Especially since I'm not fat, and I posted pictures that were flattering (not as many body shots.) lol.
Has anyone else had this same experience, and if so, what did you do to not let it get to you?
Thanks.
Oh yes! Unless you post naked pictures(no, and I won't) most guys believe you to be fat! Just my experience. I've had the same thing happen. Believe me, they're not worth it in the scheme of things.
I do think he was rude to say that!0 -
I dont see anything wrong with what he said at all. He wants a running partner to share his interests. He didnt insult your looks or personality.0
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I agree.0
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okay..stories? you want stories? I have tried most sites in the 13 + I have been alone. first experience...emailed..no phone or pictures a guy for about2 months. couldn't wait to get his email each morning and night...planned a mtg. I drove 2hrs to where he lived, we met at a parking lot ...well. he was chunky,john deer cap, flannel,green teeth. I didn't really feel an instant attraction,but we had been'friends' for months. well,we went wine tasting,during that time he told me that if the 'date' wasn't going well he was supposed to call his friend,then his friend would call and say he had an emergency at work....45min. later he went to the john. 5min. later he got the emergency call... he then told me that he had another date set up for the evening anyway..another first date....so I drove 2hrs home. that evening he emailed and told me that the second date was much better looking than me,so he wanted to stop all contact. I have about 8 of those aborted attempts at dating sites...yes it is about weight, also confidence or lack of, and what you are willing to do or not do. After every membership ran out I was more depressed than ever. Even singles dances are meat markets....that is why I am ..once bitten, twice thrice ect shy.0
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Yea major douche.... you can find better. you will find better.0
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I have never been on a dating site per say, but my whole life, until 5 years ago, was pretty much the same too. I was always called too fat, too weird, too short, too young-looking, too uninteresting, and too studious, to name a few. I can tell you that yes, he doesn't deserve your time, but yes also, it does hurt, no matter which one it is. I personally only let myself be around people who are at least a little like me in one of those ways but also like me for who I am, not what I look like, say, or do sometimes, cause let's face it, everyone has some off days sometimes. Keep up the work you are doing and forget about him, and find someone else who likes you no matter what (only if you want to, lol). 0
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A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away I had a girl tell me " i like big guys" I felt like a piece of meat and.... I loved it. Now back to you. I've seen girls who are of the larger persuasion run longer than some of those supposedly fit guys. He's a bit of an idiot. A better way to have handled wouldve been to say I'm sorry youre not my tyoe. Easy and honest. Just like me.0
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