bad pickup lines

24

Replies

  • jplord
    jplord Posts: 510 Member
    "Hi there! Could you tell me the time, or shall I f*<k off now?"

    - Overheard in the Dubai Airport
  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
    “Is your last name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get.”
  • MrEmoticon
    MrEmoticon Posts: 275 Member
    In the best Mario voice:

    "Baby, are you a magic leaf? Cause you give my heart a tail to fly."
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
    Girl , if you were words on paper you'd be fine print
  • Shelbert79
    Shelbert79 Posts: 510 Member
    I have a funny one
    "You must have fallen from heaven, that's how you messed up your face" Weird Al's Wanna Be Your Lover

    I used to hear
    "are you single, yet?"
  • ampa916
    ampa916 Posts: 189 Member
    I never had a corny pick up line used on me but this exact conversation has happened multiple times:

    Tall Black Guy: Hey, can I holla at you?

    Me: (reluctantly) Sure...

    Tall Black Guy: What's your name?

    Me: Viola.

    Tall Black Guy: Can I have you're number?

    Mighty confident to ask for the digits after asking only two questions.
    Sometimes they have the common sense to ask if I have a boyfriend and for some reason I always tell the truth and say no.

    I need to learn to lie.

    I've had guys ask me if I was taken when I clearly have a wedding ring on, when I say "yeah I am married" they almost always reply with "He ain't gotta know" :noway: I think it was job (I worked at a hotel)
  • beabelieve
    beabelieve Posts: 112
    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together.
  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
    Hey baby, got any cavities?
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

    OMG I love this one.
  • notdancinganymore
    notdancinganymore Posts: 57 Member
    This one has been used on me. "Do you have a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself in them."


    Or "Are you a speeding ticket? Cause damn girl you have fine written all over you."

    or " If you were a trans-former you would be Optimus-FINE!"
  • anima_gemella
    anima_gemella Posts: 243 Member
    "Babe, you got some Irish in u ? No? u want some ??"
    :huh: :huh:
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    Worst one I've heard:

    I was in a bar with my friend watching UFC. I'm pretty modest, so I was kind of pulling my sweater around to cover my boobs when a black dude walks up to me (you'll see why it's important to know he was black in a minute), grabs my fat sides and says "Why you covering that *kitten* up? Quit covering that! There's a bunch of n*ggers in here that want to *kitten* the *kitten* out of you." As lovely and heart warming as that was, my response was "Get your f*cking hands off me! You're grabbing my fat rolls!" A few months later she and I were there again, sitting at the bar, and the guys at a table behind us got our attention and asked us if we wanted some of their chicken wings. As heavenly as it sounded to eat off random dudes plates, we politely declined the offer.
  • anima_gemella
    anima_gemella Posts: 243 Member
    Worst one I've heard:

    I was in a bar with my friend watching UFC. I'm pretty modest, so I was kind of pulling my sweater around to cover my boobs when a black dude walks up to me (you'll see why it's important to know he was black in a minute), grabs my fat sides and says "Why you covering that *kitten* up? Quit covering that! There's a bunch of n*ggers in here that want to *kitten* the *kitten* out of you." As lovely and heart warming as that was, my response was "Get your f*cking hands off me! You're grabbing my fat rolls!" A few months later she and I were there again, sitting at the bar, and the guys at a table behind us got our attention and asked us if we wanted some of their chicken wings. As heavenly as it sounded to eat off random dudes plates, we politely declined the offer.

    it is kinda cute in a creepy way lol
  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
    Hi, who's your friend?
  • Sp1nGoddess
    Sp1nGoddess Posts: 1,134 Member
    I used to always get "haven't we met before?"


    I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
  • toosywoots
    toosywoots Posts: 18
    Thinking of getting back into the dating scene again since my husband died a year ago. Thanks for all the lame but funny lines I need to watch out for.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    "Babe, you got some Irish in u ? No? u want some ??"
    :huh: :huh:

    A guy at one of our stores called one day and we were talking about football and Mexican food. He asked me if I have Mexican in me, I said "No, but I did in High School." He had to hang up and call back when he recovered from being in shock.
  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
    Kiss me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Guadalupe?
  • smileymel27
    smileymel27 Posts: 171 Member
    Urgh.
    As a red head, the worst usually involve comments about my hair colour.

    And y'all know which ones I'm talkin' about.
  • ShannaB83185
    ShannaB83185 Posts: 441 Member
    "Your body's name must be VISA cause it's everywhere I wanna be"

    "I am new in town, can I get directions to your house"

    "**** me if I am wrong but is your name Yolanda"

    "Do you have a quarter cause my mom said to call home when I met the girl of my dreams"
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    can I rub your head?

    Sorry about that. I had a little too much to drink that night.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    Wolfeman49 Gained back 21 pounds! So, I went from 213 lbs to 176 lbs from April to mid-June 2011. It is a year later and I am back to 197. Cloths not fitting again and I'm uncomfortable just sitting down or driving. I'm back on it! Since I hate dieting I will do it one more time but this time I will change my habbits. It will stick this time. That's a promise.

    You definitely win bad pickup line award!
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    Kiss me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Guadalupe?

    Bahahaha!
  • ShannaB83185
    ShannaB83185 Posts: 441 Member
    hahahahaha I have 2 more I couldn't resist lol

    The word for the night is legs, lets go back to my room and spread the word

    Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, or yield?
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    Is that a mirror in your pocket, cuz I can see myself in your pants. <-- I actually had a guy say that to me once with a straight face

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
    Are you from Tennessee? [No, why?] Because you're the only 10 I see!
  • CEQuick75
    CEQuick75 Posts: 311 Member
    Being the goof I am, I prefer to awkwardly mix up the classics:
    "Girl, was your daddy a thief? 'Cuz somebody stole my damn car stereo! Oh, and you have pretty eyes."
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    I actually think I saw this one posted here in a funny pictures thread...

    "You remind me of my big toe... 'cause I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own."
  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
    Milk does the body good, but damn how much did you drink?
  • anima_gemella
    anima_gemella Posts: 243 Member
    I actually think I saw this one posted here in a funny pictures thread...

    "You remind me of my big toe... 'cause I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own."


    lolo very good
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