Husband not physically attracted to me anymore

Is he emotionally attracted to you??? A marriage shouldn't just be about physical attraction. There needs to be an emotional connection. Thats the first place I would want to make strong. The physical piece is something that can be worked on together.

I learned awhile back that in order to have a healthy relationship, I needed to first learn to like/love myself. Once I could do that I was able to be a better partner.

I am sorry this is happening to you and your husband. I don't even know you but I hope and pray that everything will work out for the better.

I will be smitten to hell for this but this is how I feel: Love keeps me with you, physical attraction affects what we can and cannot do. I'm going to give you the best me I possibly can and expect the same in return. It's not about how we look as much as how is this affecting our overall health and mental stability. When those start getting messed up it's time to take a closer look at things. I would never expect my wife to stay with me if I let myself go completely, and I don't expect her to let herself go either BECAUSE of how it makes us feel about ourselves.

so he said..... I find it hard to understand conditional love. I loved my husband even when he was very large....I gained weight and he was cruel...I guess you have to decide how you want things to go. Maybe its an excuse,if you lose weight and things don't get better on his end,consider it 'not your issue' but his, but the benefit will be a trimmer you to tackle whatever is thrown at you. Best of luck. But please,don't take the burden of everything he says and carry it around with you. As I said..love is supposed to be unconditional.

Love isn't really supposed to be anything... unless you're a spiritual person and you use your religion to define it. Using Christianity as an example, we all fall miserably short of what 1 Corinthians describes love as being. With a 40% or more divorce rate (at least in the states) I find it difficult to actually critique love or the way it's supposed to be... none of us really measure up, so I'm a hypocrite to attack someone else for their weaknesses when I can find so much weakness in myself.

To the OP... it's easy to jump on the "what a jerk" bandwagon and tell you how hurtful he's being, but I don't think that will help you much. My suggestion -- evaluate your marriage as a whole and try to figure out what's really going on, because there may be a much bigger picture than your weight.

My husband and I started dating when I had just lost 50 some odd pounds with WW...and throughout the course of our courtship, engagement, and the first year of marriage, I put back on all the weight I had lost prior to meeting him, plus 7 pounds. He never said a word. Now I'm back to the weight I was on the day of our wedding, and within 15 pounds of where I was when we met, but he hasn't noticed much of a physical change. I am led to believe one of two things: A, he notices all along (the up and the down) but doesn't say anything so that I "think" he doesn't notice, or B, he really doesn't notice because he loves me either way. Regardless, it hasn't affected our relationship in the bedroom so I can't complain.

*Sometimes* men are just simple and clueless...and I think I kinda like it that way. LOL!

I have actually noticed that my weight loss has negatively impacted my marriage. I have lost over 100 pounds and it is like my husand doesn't even remember who I am anymore. I am a more confindent and active person and he is a home body. He doesn't like my new confidece but I don't let it bother me. I am comfortable and happy with my progress but sometimes I think he liked me when I was heavier because I didn't want to do anything and he didn't have to worry about me going out and meeting people.

Keep doing what you are doing and if he doesn't come around then it is his loss.

get a new husband... or get permission to rent one

lol, and this is a better example of love?

I wasn't attracted to me anymore, and that affected my marriage. I have noticed a HUGE improvement for us since I started improving me!

I totally agree with this!

This! Big time for me. Now that I'm back in love with me things are getting even better than they were before!

I certainly hope he didn't tell you that he's not attracted to you anymore. If he loves you you should be attractive to him regardless. If my husband told me that I'd be heading for the door. Conditional love is not love at all.

Physical attraction and love go hand in hand. How do you think she feels knowing that her husband isn't attracted to her anymore? It build insecurities, which isn't healthy. And how do you think she's being treated because of her weight? If he was kind about it, fine, but thats prob not the case. He's most likely not as romantic/kind, if at all. It's messed up.

so he said..... I find it hard to understand conditional love. I loved my husband even when he was very large....I gained weight and he was cruel...I guess you have to decide how you want things to go. Maybe its an excuse,if you lose weight and things don't get better on his end,consider it 'not your issue' but his, but the benefit will be a trimmer you to tackle whatever is thrown at you. Best of luck. But please,don't take the burden of everything he says and carry it around with you. As I said..love is supposed to be unconditional.

Well said!!!

Tell him straight up, you liked me when i was unhealthy?