Husband not physically attracted to me anymore

get a new husband... or get permission to rent one

lol, and this is a better example of love?

I wasn't attracted to me anymore, and that affected my marriage. I have noticed a HUGE improvement for us since I started improving me!

I totally agree with this!

This! Big time for me. Now that I'm back in love with me things are getting even better than they were before!

I certainly hope he didn't tell you that he's not attracted to you anymore. If he loves you you should be attractive to him regardless. If my husband told me that I'd be heading for the door. Conditional love is not love at all.

Physical attraction and love go hand in hand. How do you think she feels knowing that her husband isn't attracted to her anymore? It build insecurities, which isn't healthy. And how do you think she's being treated because of her weight? If he was kind about it, fine, but thats prob not the case. He's most likely not as romantic/kind, if at all. It's messed up.

so he said..... I find it hard to understand conditional love. I loved my husband even when he was very large....I gained weight and he was cruel...I guess you have to decide how you want things to go. Maybe its an excuse,if you lose weight and things don't get better on his end,consider it 'not your issue' but his, but the benefit will be a trimmer you to tackle whatever is thrown at you. Best of luck. But please,don't take the burden of everything he says and carry it around with you. As I said..love is supposed to be unconditional.

Well said!!!

Tell him straight up, you liked me when i was unhealthy?

Positive side effect of weight loss....better sex! LOL

Not necessarily. My husband told me after the last "encounter" that he didn't like how my breasts had become small and wrinkly (extra skin when lying) and that we can't afford a boob job so he'd rather I just do it the old fashioned way and put weight back on so they fluff up on their own. :noway:

ps. My husband has gained at least 50 pounds since he was the slim man I first married...but with men, they lose stuff as they get bigger instead of gain it... and gain it back as they lose weight...I haven't thrown this in his face. yet.

Love and physical attraction are totally seperate things. If he didn't love her he wouldn't be with her! Has my partner ever said anything? No! Do I realise he would be more attracted to me if I got back to the weight I was when we met (another 20lbs) or less? Ues. Of course he would. I'm not stupid. I'd fancy him more if he lost the 20lbs he's gained since we met. Do I love him less? No! I love him more than I ever did. Not to mention sex will be a lot better if we are both confident, because there's no doubt about it we've lost our confidence and it has a big effect, coz when we've had a drink and inhibitions are lowered its so much better, so I know things will get better and better as we both get fitter. I know it makes no difference at all to how much he loves me. Please don't take it as he doesn't love you. You don't have much to loose so can get back there. X

This is a tough situation. Physical attraction to someone you love can change if their appearance changes. I have a feeling the issue may be more about your perception of his attraction rather than his actual attraction. If you haven't already, I recommend talking to him about it. Explain that you are concerned your appearance is affecting the way he feels about you physically and come to some sort of solution where you feel more confident in his attraction to you. Or, if he does admit to being less attracted to you physically right now, ask him what you can do to increase his attraction. It may not be your weight. It may be that you've changed what you wear because of your weight (just as an example).

If you are unhappy with your weight I believe it does affect marriage life. I totally understand how you feel.

Honey....just keep encouraging yourself to lose weight for you. If he joins the band wagon then good....if he dsnt then keep encouraging yourself along the way or we will keep you encouraged...

You guys should be ashamed for your insensitive remarks about her husband. Does he really deserve to be called these terrible names for the way he feels?

Between a fit individual, and one who is obese, how many of you would be physically attracted to a the slim person?

This.

and how many of you calling him out for feeling that way, yet post and check out the males in the sexy guy threads.

How many 'sexy fat guy' threads exist on here?

Just another day on MFP.

Physical attraction and love go hand in hand.

I disagree. I love my wife to death and I find her attractive and I would still love her exactly as much if she were 400lbs. I would not be physically attracted to her if she weighed four bills and I have no problem admitting it.


I love my mother and I am not attracted to her. I also can see women out in public that I think are attractive and I do not love them.

How do you think she feels knowing that her husband isn't attracted to her anymore? It build insecurities, which isn't healthy.

I agree with this part.

To each his own I suppose. If your wife is fine with you being that type of person then very good for the both of you. In this case, however, the wife ISN'T alright with her husband being insensitive and needs his support more than ever. If she was alright with it, she would have never posted this topic in the first place.

He said if his wife was 400lbs, not 14lbs overweight. I've been to 301lbs and it was in no way attractive, never mind another 100lbs on top. I've been there and I'm not all defensive about it, I can see it wasn't attractive, with or without it being pointed out to me x

um...I think this is something you really need to discuss with your husband and or possibly a counselor/pastor/etc and not with some nameless, faceless, online crowd. If you're looking for encouragement, you've got it it. But marital advice, or pity? Go elsewhere.

Have you talked to him about it or do you just get that feeling from him?

Great Question!!

My fiance (we've been together over 9 years, might as well be married) has loved me every bit of our relationship, from a size 9 to size 18 and back down to size 14, and will the rest of the way down too. He has been attracted to me through all of it. I have loved him and wanted him through probably about a 50 pound swing as well.

However.

I know I wanted him MORE when he was fitter. I liked running my hands over his biceps, I liked when he wore more fitted shirts. He is working to get back to that for me. He likes it when I run around in short skirts and likes being able to get a good hold on my hips when grabs me from behind and kisses the back of my neck in the kitchen.

The fitter we are, the better we feel about ourselves. The better we feel about ourselves, the more confidence we have. The more confident we are, the sexier we act. The sexier we act, the more we desire each other, both because of our perceptions of ourselves and each other.

So, not every lack of attraction is the end of the world. It can be a motivator. If he is being callous about it, or unsupportive, or demanding, then you do need to have a serious talk with him. If he was just trying to be open and supportive and motivating and his words were kind, just take it as incentive.