My rant: Unsolicited Parenting Advice...

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  • jaxbeck
    jaxbeck Posts: 537 Member
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    Oh hellll no! That would not have gone well!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I know what you're saying Ken. I just think it depends on my relationship with the advice giver. In this case, we aren't on that level where it's even remotely appropriate. If it's one of my best friends saying, "Honey, you really are over-coddling that child and he's going to grow up a whiny brat if you don't grow some balls," I may have taken it differently... and replied differently. But this just wasn't the case.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    "That was fun, I hope you enjoyed yourself. But I'm not taking parenting advice today. Probably not tomorrow, either, just so you're aware." Smiled, and walked away.
    I am one of those who dislikes unsolicited advice. I can't quite really explain why. I've always been this way, even as a child. Call it reverse psychology or whatever, but my instinct is to do the opposite of what anybody suggests when it's unsolicited.

    Now that I'm a grown up, I can resist that instinct in most cases. And see good advice for what it is...good advice (if it's good). I'm mature and *kitten*. But I doubt I will ever grow to like unsolicited advice. I'm not walking around waiting to be offended. I just prefer to make my own decisions, and when I need help, I ask. And for people to mind their own business.

    But this phrase...I'm going to use it next time. I'll substitute another word for parenting, as the situation fits.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    "That was fun, I hope you enjoyed yourself. But I'm not taking parenting advice today. Probably not tomorrow, either, just so you're aware." Smiled, and walked away.
    I am one of those who dislikes unsolicited advice. I can't quite really explain why. I've always been this way, even as a child. Call it reverse psychology or whatever, but my instinct is to do the opposite of what anybody suggests when it's unsolicited.

    Now that I'm a grown up, I can resist that instinct in most cases. And see good advice for what it is...good advice (if it's good). I'm mature and *kitten*. But I doubt I will ever grow to like unsolicited advice. I'm not walking around waiting to be offended. I just prefer to make my own decisions, and when I need help, I ask. And for people to mind their own business.

    But this phrase...I'm going to use it next time. I'll substitute another word for parenting, as the situation fits.

    Not going to lie... was kind of proud of myself for that one :) And the look on their faces was pretty priceless.
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
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    There is nothing wrong or unmanly about loving a child and comforting them. I would rather hug and kiss my childs boo boos and raise a man who knows how to relate to other human beings, empathize and treat a woman, than be an emotional cripple. If crying is for Homos, then our a lot of our solider memorials have a lot of homo WW II, Viet Nam, and current veterans hanging around. Tell these advice givers to go and call these service men and women weak and homosexual for crying.
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I would have kicked him in the b@lls and when he hunched over in pain told him to "man up and quit being a sissy"
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
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    I suspect that the advice given was much worse than the fact that it wasn't asked for.

    That said.

    I helped raise my nephew the first 6 years of his life in my house with his mother. He is 17 and I have been involved the entire time. At age 6 we were play fighting, I think we were ninjas, and he jumped on me and landed his tummy on my elbow....gravity sucks. He sat down with a really weird expression. I asked, " are you okay, what are you doing?" To which he replies, " I'm not crying."
    I then explained that it is okay to cry if you are hurt, and yes I gave him a hug.

    I don't know how, but at 17 he isn't gay.......all those hugs........ and yet, if he were gay.....I don't think it would matter.

    Edit to say..... he hasn't been in jail either.
  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
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    You handled it perfectly, much better than I would have.
  • supermom2002
    supermom2002 Posts: 180 Member
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    Wow. You are a 1st class lady!! I would not have been able to sit there straight faced and listen to that bullcrap!! I would have tore him a new hole.
    I hate unsolicted advice. Regardless of what it's about. But telling me how i should or should not be raising my child..that's a HUGE one for me. Nobody should be giving advice or opinions until they've walked in your/my shoes for 1 day.

    The "weekend dads" who think their children are wonderful and they way they parent them is best get under my skin too. C'mon, really? If you had your kids all day every day 24/7/365 you would be doing things MUCH differently.

    There's no right and wrong way to parent a child. Just "different". So STFU stupid people!!
  • happypath101
    happypath101 Posts: 534
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    Love your rant! And, I loved your response to the "advice". I might just use that one. :O)
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    Not going to lie... was kind of proud of myself for that one :) And the look on their faces was pretty priceless.

    If you ever use that line again, you need to make sure to walk off EXACTLY like your profile picture.
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,366 Member
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    Oohhhh my god.

    My sons dad does that to me all the time.

    Look bud I am basically a single parent. We live 45min away from you and you HARDLY ever see him.

    Dont tell me not to baby my 3 YEAR OLD.

    Yes he cries, he dont like to be HIT by other children, NO im not gonna teach my son how to HIT BACK OR FIGHT at this freakin age.

    You see that kid that just hit him? Yea maybe you should be talking to HIS MOM about the way her son runs around doing what he wants and hitting other kids because he gets mad that he dont get his way.

    Ugh.

    OOHHH and my lil sister (who by the way is 20 with no kids who likes to party and has no high school diploma or life) likes to tell me how I can or cannot discipline my son (WHILE WE ARE IN PUBLIC, its embarrasing).

    People should mind thier own business.
  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,118 Member
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    My son is 8 and if it happened to him I would hug and coddle him if he is hit hard enough to bruise I can't blame him for crying. I probably would have cried at the age I am now if it happened to me.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    You definitely handled that better than I would have. Good for you for saying something to them! Little boys need compassion too. :flowerforyou:
  • susangrimes1
    susangrimes1 Posts: 1 Member
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    Good for you................we don't need any more men being raised to ignore/deny their feelings..............
  • kms1981
    kms1981 Posts: 207 Member
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    My son is 9 and I will continue to hug him if he gets hurt or cries. I will validate his feelings and not make him ashamed to show when he is in pain or hurt. I am raising a son who is confident and comfortable showing who he is and what he is feeling.
  • ksanchez311
    ksanchez311 Posts: 31
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    At least you are raising a child that will be sensitive to others' feelings and is capable of empathy.... NOT like the guys you were speaking of.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    I think your response was awesome. And for the record I'm 37 and if I got whacked in the face with a basketball I would want to be cuddled and hugged too.:blushing:

    Yep, liked your response as well. And I've been hit in the face with a basketball. It hurt like a son of a B____. And I was in my 20s at the time and wanted to cry...
  • lumina0o0
    lumina0o0 Posts: 498 Member
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    you handled yourself well, i on the other hand may very well have kicked him in the balls, and when he balled over...told him to man up...
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    My boyfriend had his mother and me at his bedside a couple months back when he was in the ER after hurting his back...we were both totally coddling him and he's a grown-a.ss man. I suppose I should be prepared for some gay news around the corner then...

    In their hearts all men are little boys, even douche bags.

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