How has having a child affected your life?
I have no interest in having children at the moment. I have things I would like to achieve before that times comes. But basically, I wanted to know how having children has impacted your life. What hopes and dreams have changed, is there anything you regret not doing? If you were able to, would you go back and change something? My friend and I were talking about it and I was hoping to get some more opinions on the matter.
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my hopes and dreams became unattainable. my body was ruined. i missed out on my twenties (while all my friends were experiencing freedom and youth, i was changing diapers). i've had to work twice as hard for half the money. relationships are awkward and difficult. i rarely have time to and/or for myself.
There's also a down side.0 -
Sleep and free time do not exist. The task of taking over the world will have to fall to them because I am now too damned tired.
I would not change a thing...but I will constantly complain.0 -
Wow, it really sounds like you resent having children.
Of course my like has changed since having children. Anyone who says otherwise must have a nanny 24/7 and never spend time with their children. yes, it is harder to find alone time and sometimes it's a pain in the *kitten* to find a sitter at the last minute so I can go do something fun, but that's the price you pay for being a parent.
I think I'm a damn good mother. I love my kids more than anything in this world and wouldn't want my life to be any other way. Having kids has enriched my life and my relationships with my husband and family.0 -
I regret not doing a lot of things but it wasn't because of having kids. I believe that hopes and dream can still be fulfilled. You just have to work harder for them.
The only thing that I wish I could change... the age at which I started having kids. 19 yrs old was just WAY too young. I will tell my kids the same thing.
I can't say that having kids has had a negative impact on my life at all. I continually learn from them. They inspire me every day. They are entertaining and make me happy, even though they are pain in the @sses at times.0 -
Having a child made me GROW UP. I was 21 when I got pregnant. I didn't have a real clear career goal or life path figured out, although I was about to graduate from college. I used to party A TON and live the young and reckless lifestyle, but I'm beyond glad I snapped out of that. I finished school, and really the only regret I have is staying in the miserable relationship I was in for as long as I did (with my son's dad, we split before he was 2). Sure, I can't just up and go do things whenever I want, my son is priority, but I thoroughly enjoy my life.
I still have a social life and get to do fun things with my friends, but I make time with my son a priority. Instead of partying, we opt for daytime things so that I can hang out with my friends AND my son all at the same time! My body's not quite the same, but honestly if I'd just not been such a lazy *kitten* when I was pregnant (and an emotional eater after--during the hellacious relationship), I'd still be in good shape. It was more my fault than anything, and I'm getting back to where I want to be physically.
Sure, my lifestyle has changed. But I think this lifestyle is way better than the one I was living before
I'm now a college graduate, with an awesome job, a great relationship, and one kick *kitten* little 5 year old who tells me I should be a model because models are beautiful and I'm beautiful (for real, he said that the other day).
That being said: kids are not for everyone. One of my best friends in the world has zero plans of ever having children and I can't say I blame her. She's a model/marketing person and is always travelling all over the place, and a child would not really fit into her plan. Different strokes for different folks!0 -
How has it changed my life... I now have someone I would die for.0
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I finally have a good reason to get up in the morning...0
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How has it changed my life... I now have someone I would die for.
LIKE!!!!!!0 -
How has it changed my life... I now have someone I would die for.
Exactly this^^^^^^^^^0 -
Having children are great but they are a lot of work and yes, they give a whole new meaning to tired. And after three c-sections my body is gone. Nothing is your own anymore and you can't even go to the bathroom without someone yelling for you or walking in. I have three and although only one was planned I would never trade my mothering years for my motherless years. Yes, there are days I think I lost out on so much (traveling, a career at a younger age, further schooling...) but when your son runs downstairs because the toothfairy just left him a note and two dollars and he REALLY believes the toothfairy was there, you realize there is more joy living through your children then through your own life. I'm not the person that always wanted to be a mom like so many of my friends did but I am, so I needed to get use to it. They are precious and beautiful and innocent and see the world in such a new way. Mud puddles are beautiful, worms are cool, ants are pets, your flowers in the your garden are always for picking ... I didn't take to being a mom in the begining but by my third I realized it was going to be ok and my life could still be great. When my two year old sits on my lap and puts both of his tiny hands on my cheeks and says "I love you. Your the best mamma ever", that's when you take a breath and say, "I can do this one more day." What I really want to say is, Kids are Wonderful BUT make sure you are ready for them and make darn sure you have the right dad. Once you have children, your life and desires are not your own. You HAVE to think of those little tiny people instead of yourself. But in the end it's worth it.0
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No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.0
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How has it changed my life... I now have someone I would die for.
^so true^
How has it changed?
No I can not do what I want when I want, but I do get to wake up to two smiling faces everyday and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.0 -
My values changed. I like having the opportunity to do things to make others happy (ie. my kids) instead of doing everything for myself. For instance going to the zoo, chucky cheese, or the playground would be really boring to me if I didn't have kids. But since I know my kids will have fun, its exciting to do these activities. Same goes for holidays and family gatherings...they were lame to me until I had kids and now they are fun.
The hardest part for me about having kids is that I can't just go do whatever I want whenever I want because I need to make sure somebody is always watching the kids. So we miss out on things that some of our childless friends get to do.
The only regrets I have are not being better financially prepared to deal with having kids. I regret making a home purchase when I did, because it has set me back tremendously.0 -
Mud puddles are beautiful, worms are cool, ants are pets, your flowers in the your garden are always for picking ...
This is so true. We get so stuck on the anxieties of life. Children can turn your attention to the simple things and the anxiety can melt away. IF you take the time.0 -
No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
I answered totally honestly. I know people who have totally different views than I do, who think "I have had a child now, I have to stop enjoying everything I enjoyed before and have no life because my child is all I'm allowed to focus on now" and to me, that's no way to live.
Edited to add, I have been VERY fortunate though to have so much support and so many people around to help out. I haven't experienced the "all our child-less friends got to go to this awesome concert and we couldn't find a sitter" too often because of all the family we have nearby ready and willing to have some quality time with the kiddo. I get calls from my boyfriend's mom ASKING to watch my son for us when we don't even have plans or anything!0 -
I went from Party Animal Iive for the night to Daddy animal live for his smiles..I wouldnt trade it for all the money in the world.0
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No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
Do you have kids? What truth do you think people are omitting? Most people are saying that having children is hard, and you have to make sacrifices, but in the end it is worth it. That IS the truth.0 -
No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
I answered honestly. A child is the only unconditional love you will ever feel.0 -
No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
Do you have kids? What truth do you think people are omitting? Most people are saying that having children is hard, and you have to make sacrifices, but in the end it is worth it. That IS the truth.
I have several friends who are moms, and after a few drinks they tell me 'everything' (why people pour their hearts out to me I don't know...they just start rambling). I knew a long time ago I never wanted kids, and the things they told me just solidified the reasons I had about having kids.
this is all I'm gonna say about this because I can see this thread turning into a fight and getting locked.0 -
I finally have a good reason to get up in the morning...How has it changed my life... I now have someone I would die for
this and this along with, i finally grew up sorted out my life, and became happier than i have ever been before.
sure there are downsides to parenthood and belive me i have something to moan about every day, and the responsibility that goes with it is overwhelming-but one smile, cheeky giggle or inpromtu hug and my heart melts every time0 -
well for starters, my life is not about me anymore...... it's never about me... I am trying to change that because I think if you lose yourself in your children or live vicariously through them then you will not be happy in the long run.
My lift has changed because I now have to find a balance... between being a mom and being a person, who has needs and wants and wants to have a life. My life seemed to end a little when the kids were younger...but I am slowly recovering it and you know, I think the kids are happy about that.
If you are self centered, obsessive about your body or your house, don't like bad smells and sticky things.....do yourself a favor and don't have kids LOL0 -
No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
Do you have kids? What truth do you think people are omitting? Most people are saying that having children is hard, and you have to make sacrifices, but in the end it is worth it. That IS the truth.
I have several friends who are moms, and after a few drinks they tell me 'everything' (why people pour their hearts out to me I don't know...they just start rambling). I knew a long time ago I never wanted kids, and the things they told me just solidified the reasons I had about having kids.
this is all I'm gonna say about this because I can see this thread turning into a fight and getting locked.
What are they saying, that they regret it? That they don't love their kids? What could they be saying that people won't openly express here? I have turned off people from having kids just by venting about my frustrations at times. Doesn't mean the good doesn't outweigh the bad.0 -
No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
i didn't sugar coat it.
the ONLY good thing about being a parent, is the kids themselves. And that's only if your kids are cool people. If you're gifted with horrible evil brats, well then, there's nothing good about parenting.
I'm lucky my kids are super awesome. (*on knees, praying in gratitude)0 -
well for starters, my life is not about me anymore...... it's never about me... I am trying to change that because I think if you lose yourself in your children or live vicariously through them then you will not be happy in the long run.
My lift has changed because I now have to find a balance... between being a mom and being a person, who has needs and wants and wants to have a life. My life seemed to end a little when the kids were younger...but I am slowly recovering it and you know, I think the kids are happy about that.
If you are self centered, obsessive about your body or your house, don't like bad smells and sticky things.....do yourself a favor and don't have kids LOL
Well I found this balance easy since both me and my wife are on the same page. Both of us have our own goals and hobbies that take away time from the kids. Both of us know that if we don't pursue these, then we will be unhappy which will carry over to our parenting and hurt the children in the end. So we do our best to take turns with the kids while the other pursues our interests. We are both marathon runners with two kids in diapers and somehow we still find the time to take good care of the kids.0 -
I also think that parenting takes on a whole new world once those sweet innocent faces become teenagers....
I now know why some species eat their young....... lol
you really don't have a complete grasp on what it's like to parent a child until that child is 20. Kids are so sweet and cute and they melt your heart for the first 10yrs....... and it's a good thing, cause they usually spend the next 10yrs being evil0 -
I hit a nerve. I'm just stating my opinion.
It's like the woman that says she's so in love with her husband, then is hitting on me because I changed my status to "single" on facebook. I've see it enough to know that what people say, and what they really say when you get them being honest, are different things.
It's like online, in some other communities I've been a part of, no one ever ever ever goes above the speed limit, but here in REAL LIFE, everyone does 45 in a 25. Just sayin'
What people say, and how they act, are often different. Especially online.
Everyone will take this to mean that I am saying that they don't love their kids. That's not what I'm saying. It's just a little soul sucking at times.0 -
How has it changed my life... I now have someone I would die for.
^^^^This :drinker: And nothing else really matters when you finally experience a love like this!!0 -
I hit a nerve. I'm just stating my opinion.
It's like the woman that says she's so in love with her husband, then is hitting on me because I changed my status to "single" on facebook. I've see it enough to know that what people say, and what they really say when you get them being honest, are different things.
It's like online, in some other communities I've been a part of, no one ever ever ever goes above the speed limit, but here in REAL LIFE, everyone does 45 in a 25. Just sayin'
What people say, and how they act, are often different. Especially online.
Everyone will take this to mean that I am saying that they don't love their kids. That's not what I'm saying. It's just a little soul sucking at times.
Hmm, guess I haven't gotten to the "soul sucking" years yet. Although my mother has said more than once she wants to strangle my sister, so perhaps I'll change my mind when my son's a teenager.0 -
I hit a nerve. I'm just stating my opinion.
It's like the woman that says she's so in love with her husband, then is hitting on me because I changed my status to "single" on facebook. I've see it enough to know that what people say, and what they really say when you get them being honest, are different things.
It's like online, in some other communities I've been a part of, no one ever ever ever goes above the speed limit, but here in REAL LIFE, everyone does 45 in a 25. Just sayin'
What people say, and how they act, are often different. Especially online.
Everyone will take this to mean that I am saying that they don't love their kids. That's not what I'm saying. It's just a little soul sucking at times.
What have women told you about having children that they would likely not share online? I can't see what you are talking about without any examples.0 -
Sleep and free time do not exist. The task of taking over the world will have to fall to them because I am now too damned tired.
I would not change a thing...but I will constantly complain.
Seriously? I feel bad for your kids.
I have 3 kids - 2 of whom are under 3, 1 of them is teething, my oldest has ADHD and SPD...and I still have time to myself, including going to the gym. It's about prioritizing. Yeah - I don't get out much on the weekends b/c my kids go to bed early - but that is fine by me. I don't get to always do what I want when I want...but that's part of being an adult, really.
Maybe people should stop focusing on what they are losing & look at what they are GAINING.0
This discussion has been closed.
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