How has having a child affected your life?

How has it changed my life... I now have someone I would die for.

Ditto. Don't think I understood how much you could love someone until I had a kid. There are times I wish he'd just sleep - for the love of GOD! *LOL* It's trying at times, but I don't regret it for a second. I also have 50/50 custody with my former husband. And people may hate me for this, but it's nice. I get to be a part-time parent, and while I miss him, I can also have me time. Most parents don't have the luxury of coming home from work and reading a book all night. I do.

But having kids is a CHOICE. Don't want them? Think they're too much trouble? Too much money? Don't have them...

My little guy is 3 and a half months old today. I will tell you the first month was absolutely awful. I honestly looked at him several times and thought what did I get myself into? I didn't think I could ever do this mom thing! I thought why do all these women constantly talk about motherhood being the best or how much they loved their babies? I was so tired and all I wanted to do was put him in his crib and leave. I hated breastfeeding, it was so uncomfortable. He was wanting to nurse an hour at a time on 1 SIDE! There were times I'd just pull him off and sit him down b/c I was about to flip out if he touched my nipple for one more second. I might have had a touch of the baby blues but for the most part i was just tired. After talking to my sister and getting a lot of support from her I switched from breastfeeding to strictly pumping and bottle feeding. Eliminated one stressor, I was so much happier, in turn I knew my happiness was better for him. Once he started sleeping through the night things started to get better. We were really lucky and he's slept through the night since he was 7 weeks!! Once I started getting rest I found myself happier and growing more and more attached to him. Now in just a few months he has become my everything. He's the first thing I think about when I get up in the morning, what I think about all day at work, and I can't wait to get home to see him every day! Yes, having a baby does change your life, which was very difficult at first for my husband and I, but now its becoming the new normal! We take him every where we go. To friends' houses, to happy hour, out to eat, car shopping, every where! My husband and I were 30 and 28 when we had him. I'm not sure we were 100% at those ages to have a baby so I couldn't imagine having him any younger!

To the person that said no one would be honest on here, well I was pretty honest above! Kids do take over your lives, but if there is one person I don't mind being inconvienced for it is definitely him!!

Sleep and free time do not exist. The task of taking over the world will have to fall to them because I am now too damned tired.

I would not change a thing...but I will constantly complain.

Seriously? I feel bad for your kids.

I have 3 kids - 2 of whom are under 3, 1 of them is teething, my oldest has ADHD and SPD...and I still have time to myself, including going to the gym. It's about prioritizing. Yeah - I don't get out much on the weekends b/c my kids go to bed early - but that is fine by me. I don't get to always do what I want when I want...but that's part of being an adult, really.

Maybe people should stop focusing on what they are losing & look at what they are GAINING.

Wow, judgmental much? Since you don't know me, I am assuming that you probably don't know what is going on in my house OR what my sense of humor/life outlook is.

My children 2 and 4 this month are very happy and well taken care of and provided for. Just this morning at 5:00 am, they decided to come running in and jump on the bed. Very happy, bubbly children who do not understand that I went to bed at 1:00 am because I had some work to do. Does any parent have the free time that they had when childless? not at all. Do I regret it? Not at all.

Try to have a bit of a sense of humor rather than insulting someone in the future.

I also think that parenting takes on a whole new world once those sweet innocent faces become teenagers....

I now know why some species eat their young....... lol

you really don't have a complete grasp on what it's like to parent a child until that child is 20. Kids are so sweet and cute and they melt your heart for the first 10yrs....... and it's a good thing, cause they usually spend the next 10yrs being evil

LOL 10yrs?? Mine stopped melting my heart when she learned to talk.

Kidding.

My child is my world. Gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning and get my *kitten* to work. Somebody has to pay the bills. They suck every penny out of you. "i need this, and that and while you're at it empty your purse of all the spare change because I need pizza $$ for school"

omg school!

needs money for field trip
needs money for books
here's our fundraiser THIS week, must sell a million piece of **** whatevers for child to be included in super awesome party club. there will be a new fundraiser next week
needs money for school speaker on bullying

my heart melted once.

it never re-froze

now it's a gooey mess somewhere around my midsection. rationality melted along with it. kids don't check in every five minutes while playing outside? OMG THEYRE DEAD PANIC kids being too quiet? OMG THEY BROKE THEIR HEADS AND ARE DYING! kids didn't get good grades when they usually do? OMG SOMETHING:S WRONG WITH THEIR BRAINS

i have NO friends with kids, because other parents are psychotic losers who talk about nothing but how great their kids are

yeah, i've got great kids too. they're amazing, brilliant, beautiful, creative, clever, helpful, polite.... no one wants to hear about that ****.

let's talk about the zombie apocolypse instead

Having a child made me GROW UP. I was 21 when I got pregnant. I didn't have a real clear career goal or life path figured out, although I was about to graduate from college. I used to party A TON and live the young and reckless lifestyle, but I'm beyond glad I snapped out of that. I finished school, and really the only regret I have is staying in the miserable relationship I was in for as long as I did (with my son's dad, we split before he was 2). Sure, I can't just up and go do things whenever I want, my son is priority, but I thoroughly enjoy my life.

I still have a social life and get to do fun things with my friends, but I make time with my son a priority. Instead of partying, we opt for daytime things so that I can hang out with my friends AND my son all at the same time! My body's not quite the same, but honestly if I'd just not been such a lazy *kitten* when I was pregnant (and an emotional eater after--during the hellacious relationship), I'd still be in good shape. It was more my fault than anything, and I'm getting back to where I want to be physically.

Sure, my lifestyle has changed. But I think this lifestyle is way better than the one I was living before I'm now a college graduate, with an awesome job, a great relationship, and one kick *kitten* little 5 year old who tells me I should be a model because models are beautiful and I'm beautiful (for real, he said that the other day).

That being said: kids are not for everyone. One of my best friends in the world has zero plans of ever having children and I can't say I blame her. She's a model/marketing person and is always travelling all over the place, and a child would not really fit into her plan. Different strokes for different folks!

This is almost me!! I like the person I've become because of my children!!

No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.

I'm not here to say motherhood is all roses and unicorns, but I will say there is no greater love. Of course there are bad days as a parent, but there are bad days when you aren't a parent. Kids take your time, your money and your sleep (and maybe even did a number on your body), but most parents would agree they wouldn't have it any other way. If you aren't one to make sacrifices, don't become a parent. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood. They will challenge you in ways you never thought possible, but you will also love them more than anything!

Children hijack your life, completely!

That being said, they're awesome when they are not breaking stuff or throwing tantrums or throwing up or having explosions in their diapers or throwing food across the room or spilling all their juice on the sofa or screaming cries of terror because you don't want to buy them a toy at the store, yes just marvelous! I only have 1 child. I can't imagine how it is to have 2+.

No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.

Oh yes... Kids are incredibly frustrating. In the first few months of my daughters life she had colic. I realized why single parents shake their babies. The frustration was awful. BUT... I didnt - If anyone else put me through that I would beat them with a 9 iron. Not my own child. That is the difference. The good outweighs ALL the bad.

Single parents shake their babies? Guess I'm behind on that trend...

Now, we're getting somewhere. i know you guys love your kids, but I get sick of the rainbows and unicorns that people paint when someone is thinking about it or asking what it's like. It's really really really tough. That fact should NOT be underemphasized, IMO.

Thanks for the honesty. I'll bow out now.

Overhearing my oldest tell the 2 yr old, "Us 3 are always gonna love each other because we are brothers"...

That's just about the cutest thing I've ever heard. Love it!

I have no interest in having children at the moment. I have things I would like to achieve before that times comes. But basically, I wanted to know how having children has impacted your life. What hopes and dreams have changed, is there anything you regret not doing? If you were able to, would you go back and change something? My friend and I were talking about it and I was hoping to get some more opinions on the matter.

You need to do the things you would like to do that doesn't include children now while you don't have any. Children are wonderful and exciting, but it is a different universe. It is a universe where you are not at the center of it any longer. You revolve around your kids, you have to think of doing things from a different vantage point. You have think of how your child's needs fit into the daily activities and how you are going to make them fit, even at the expense of your own. That being said, children can bring you a whole wonderful life you have yet to experience.

Don't be in a rush for children.

I have a lot less free time.
I sleep a lot less.
Dates and childless activities are harder to plan.

But I have 3 little wonderful souls who love me, depend on me and make me happy. My 3 year old constantly brings me "flowers" (usually dandelions). My baby just learned to give kisses. He knows when it's bedtime that it's kiss time, so he takes his pacifier out and leans in for kisses. You can't be mad/ or side when you hear him laugh. My 5 year old has wonderful thoughts like if the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy had to come on the same night that they would most likely have a fight because the Bunny would want the Fairy's money. She told me I could have her grandpa when mine died. She won a special award at school for being nice to people. She wants to be a princess AND a dentist when she grows up.

Also, I am much less lazy then I was pre-kids. I don't have time so things must get done, this includes workouts, etc.

Sleep and free time do not exist. The task of taking over the world will have to fall to them because I am now too damned tired.

I would not change a thing...but I will constantly complain.

Seriously? I feel bad for your kids.

I have 3 kids - 2 of whom are under 3, 1 of them is teething, my oldest has ADHD and SPD...and I still have time to myself, including going to the gym. It's about prioritizing. Yeah - I don't get out much on the weekends b/c my kids go to bed early - but that is fine by me. I don't get to always do what I want when I want...but that's part of being an adult, really.

Maybe people should stop focusing on what they are losing & look at what they are GAINING.

Wow. That was very rude. How about you GAIN a sense of humor?

You give up your body to an alien for 9 months, go through extreme pain and then hear them cry for the first time and realize your life was nothing before this.
You get pooped on, peed on, puked on, woken up all hours of the night, worried half to death over fevers, check to make sure they are breathing when they are sleeping heavy, have nightmares about people breaking into your house and stealing your kid.
They look at you with a variation of your own face and tell you they love you and the world turns sideways.
They climb into bed with you and wake you up at 3 am because they had a bad dream and you spend the rest of the night trying to get back to sleep with little feet in your back and/or face.
They become teenagers and you wish you never had kids and spent the enormous amounts of money spent on them on clothes, parties and vacations.
Through all of it they give you a reason to be alive, to get up in the morning, to cry, to appreciate beauty and innocence.

I find motherhood totally fulfilling and totally nerveracking in the same breath. I would decribe it as conflicting at all times. Super joyful, super painful. I find happiness in the smallest things because I'm a mother. I'm excited to tell you about my son pooping in the potty or putting his shoes on by himself. I'm also STILL mourning my single, pre-motherhood life.

I wouldn't encourage or discourage anyone from having kids. It's an individual choice and not everyone wants to be a parent (even some people who already have kids). What I will say is that if you are self serving or selfish as a general statement, don't have kids. They are very narcisitic little creatures and everything revolves around them. LOL.

As for my goals? i've never had goals that i felt were unattainable and honestly, being a mother was actually on my list of goals (boy, did I NOT know what I was asking for). I honestly don't remember what my life was like prior to having my son. I will say that motherhood has humbled me dearly. I care about strangers more: "Where is that little girl's mother and why is she in the middle of the street by herself? Get out of the street sweety and go play in the grass over there." LOL. I'm more compassionate and empathetic to what other people are going through. I'm a better version of the things I lacked as a single childless person, but I've lost a lot of the things I used to think were important. Parenting changes your perspective to say the least.

Any regrets? Sure, tons of them, but when your kid stares into your eyes and plants a sloppy kiss on you, you kinda forget all about the regrets and bask in someone loving you almost as much as you love them. That's my two cents anyway.

^^^^ This, and them some!...LOL. I do love my kiddos though and would "wring" their necks while hugging and kissing them at the same time. (of course I would not literally "wring" their necks). I do have to clarify that with kids and people in general..."one minute you like them and the next you don't",~ as in you "are happy one minute and not the next"! :frown: