How has having a child affected your life?

No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.

Do you have kids? What truth do you think people are omitting? Most people are saying that having children is hard, and you have to make sacrifices, but in the end it is worth it. That IS the truth.

I have several friends who are moms, and after a few drinks they tell me 'everything' (why people pour their hearts out to me I don't know...they just start rambling). I knew a long time ago I never wanted kids, and the things they told me just solidified the reasons I had about having kids.

this is all I'm gonna say about this because I can see this thread turning into a fight and getting locked.

What are they saying, that they regret it? That they don't love their kids? What could they be saying that people won't openly express here? I have turned off people from having kids just by venting about my frustrations at times. Doesn't mean the good doesn't outweigh the bad.

well for starters, my life is not about me anymore...... it's never about me... I am trying to change that because I think if you lose yourself in your children or live vicariously through them then you will not be happy in the long run.

My lift has changed because I now have to find a balance... between being a mom and being a person, who has needs and wants and wants to have a life. My life seemed to end a little when the kids were younger...but I am slowly recovering it and you know, I think the kids are happy about that.

If you are self centered, obsessive about your body or your house, don't like bad smells and sticky things.....do yourself a favor and don't have kids LOL

Well I found this balance easy since both me and my wife are on the same page. Both of us have our own goals and hobbies that take away time from the kids. Both of us know that if we don't pursue these, then we will be unhappy which will carry over to our parenting and hurt the children in the end. So we do our best to take turns with the kids while the other pursues our interests. We are both marathon runners with two kids in diapers and somehow we still find the time to take good care of the kids.

I hit a nerve. I'm just stating my opinion.

It's like the woman that says she's so in love with her husband, then is hitting on me because I changed my status to "single" on facebook. I've see it enough to know that what people say, and what they really say when you get them being honest, are different things.

It's like online, in some other communities I've been a part of, no one ever ever ever goes above the speed limit, but here in REAL LIFE, everyone does 45 in a 25. Just sayin'

What people say, and how they act, are often different. Especially online.

Everyone will take this to mean that I am saying that they don't love their kids. That's not what I'm saying. It's just a little soul sucking at times.

I hit a nerve. I'm just stating my opinion.

It's like the woman that says she's so in love with her husband, then is hitting on me because I changed my status to "single" on facebook. I've see it enough to know that what people say, and what they really say when you get them being honest, are different things.

It's like online, in some other communities I've been a part of, no one ever ever ever goes above the speed limit, but here in REAL LIFE, everyone does 45 in a 25. Just sayin'

What people say, and how they act, are often different. Especially online.

Everyone will take this to mean that I am saying that they don't love their kids. That's not what I'm saying. It's just a little soul sucking at times.

Hmm, guess I haven't gotten to the "soul sucking" years yet. Although my mother has said more than once she wants to strangle my sister, so perhaps I'll change my mind when my son's a teenager.

Sleep and free time do not exist. The task of taking over the world will have to fall to them because I am now too damned tired.

I would not change a thing...but I will constantly complain.

Seriously? I feel bad for your kids.

I have 3 kids - 2 of whom are under 3, 1 of them is teething, my oldest has ADHD and SPD...and I still have time to myself, including going to the gym. It's about prioritizing. Yeah - I don't get out much on the weekends b/c my kids go to bed early - but that is fine by me. I don't get to always do what I want when I want...but that's part of being an adult, really.

Maybe people should stop focusing on what they are losing & look at what they are GAINING.

How has it changed my life... I now have someone I would die for.

Ditto. Don't think I understood how much you could love someone until I had a kid. There are times I wish he'd just sleep - for the love of GOD! *LOL* It's trying at times, but I don't regret it for a second. I also have 50/50 custody with my former husband. And people may hate me for this, but it's nice. I get to be a part-time parent, and while I miss him, I can also have me time. Most parents don't have the luxury of coming home from work and reading a book all night. I do.

But having kids is a CHOICE. Don't want them? Think they're too much trouble? Too much money? Don't have them...

My little guy is 3 and a half months old today. I will tell you the first month was absolutely awful. I honestly looked at him several times and thought what did I get myself into? I didn't think I could ever do this mom thing! I thought why do all these women constantly talk about motherhood being the best or how much they loved their babies? I was so tired and all I wanted to do was put him in his crib and leave. I hated breastfeeding, it was so uncomfortable. He was wanting to nurse an hour at a time on 1 SIDE! There were times I'd just pull him off and sit him down b/c I was about to flip out if he touched my nipple for one more second. I might have had a touch of the baby blues but for the most part i was just tired. After talking to my sister and getting a lot of support from her I switched from breastfeeding to strictly pumping and bottle feeding. Eliminated one stressor, I was so much happier, in turn I knew my happiness was better for him. Once he started sleeping through the night things started to get better. We were really lucky and he's slept through the night since he was 7 weeks!! Once I started getting rest I found myself happier and growing more and more attached to him. Now in just a few months he has become my everything. He's the first thing I think about when I get up in the morning, what I think about all day at work, and I can't wait to get home to see him every day! Yes, having a baby does change your life, which was very difficult at first for my husband and I, but now its becoming the new normal! We take him every where we go. To friends' houses, to happy hour, out to eat, car shopping, every where! My husband and I were 30 and 28 when we had him. I'm not sure we were 100% at those ages to have a baby so I couldn't imagine having him any younger!

To the person that said no one would be honest on here, well I was pretty honest above! Kids do take over your lives, but if there is one person I don't mind being inconvienced for it is definitely him!!

Sleep and free time do not exist. The task of taking over the world will have to fall to them because I am now too damned tired.

I would not change a thing...but I will constantly complain.

Seriously? I feel bad for your kids.

I have 3 kids - 2 of whom are under 3, 1 of them is teething, my oldest has ADHD and SPD...and I still have time to myself, including going to the gym. It's about prioritizing. Yeah - I don't get out much on the weekends b/c my kids go to bed early - but that is fine by me. I don't get to always do what I want when I want...but that's part of being an adult, really.

Maybe people should stop focusing on what they are losing & look at what they are GAINING.

Wow, judgmental much? Since you don't know me, I am assuming that you probably don't know what is going on in my house OR what my sense of humor/life outlook is.

My children 2 and 4 this month are very happy and well taken care of and provided for. Just this morning at 5:00 am, they decided to come running in and jump on the bed. Very happy, bubbly children who do not understand that I went to bed at 1:00 am because I had some work to do. Does any parent have the free time that they had when childless? not at all. Do I regret it? Not at all.

Try to have a bit of a sense of humor rather than insulting someone in the future.

I also think that parenting takes on a whole new world once those sweet innocent faces become teenagers....

I now know why some species eat their young....... lol

you really don't have a complete grasp on what it's like to parent a child until that child is 20. Kids are so sweet and cute and they melt your heart for the first 10yrs....... and it's a good thing, cause they usually spend the next 10yrs being evil

LOL 10yrs?? Mine stopped melting my heart when she learned to talk.

Kidding.

My child is my world. Gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning and get my *kitten* to work. Somebody has to pay the bills. They suck every penny out of you. "i need this, and that and while you're at it empty your purse of all the spare change because I need pizza $$ for school"

omg school!

needs money for field trip
needs money for books
here's our fundraiser THIS week, must sell a million piece of **** whatevers for child to be included in super awesome party club. there will be a new fundraiser next week
needs money for school speaker on bullying

my heart melted once.

it never re-froze

now it's a gooey mess somewhere around my midsection. rationality melted along with it. kids don't check in every five minutes while playing outside? OMG THEYRE DEAD PANIC kids being too quiet? OMG THEY BROKE THEIR HEADS AND ARE DYING! kids didn't get good grades when they usually do? OMG SOMETHING:S WRONG WITH THEIR BRAINS

i have NO friends with kids, because other parents are psychotic losers who talk about nothing but how great their kids are

yeah, i've got great kids too. they're amazing, brilliant, beautiful, creative, clever, helpful, polite.... no one wants to hear about that ****.

let's talk about the zombie apocolypse instead

Having a child made me GROW UP. I was 21 when I got pregnant. I didn't have a real clear career goal or life path figured out, although I was about to graduate from college. I used to party A TON and live the young and reckless lifestyle, but I'm beyond glad I snapped out of that. I finished school, and really the only regret I have is staying in the miserable relationship I was in for as long as I did (with my son's dad, we split before he was 2). Sure, I can't just up and go do things whenever I want, my son is priority, but I thoroughly enjoy my life.

I still have a social life and get to do fun things with my friends, but I make time with my son a priority. Instead of partying, we opt for daytime things so that I can hang out with my friends AND my son all at the same time! My body's not quite the same, but honestly if I'd just not been such a lazy *kitten* when I was pregnant (and an emotional eater after--during the hellacious relationship), I'd still be in good shape. It was more my fault than anything, and I'm getting back to where I want to be physically.

Sure, my lifestyle has changed. But I think this lifestyle is way better than the one I was living before I'm now a college graduate, with an awesome job, a great relationship, and one kick *kitten* little 5 year old who tells me I should be a model because models are beautiful and I'm beautiful (for real, he said that the other day).

That being said: kids are not for everyone. One of my best friends in the world has zero plans of ever having children and I can't say I blame her. She's a model/marketing person and is always travelling all over the place, and a child would not really fit into her plan. Different strokes for different folks!

This is almost me!! I like the person I've become because of my children!!