ladies help! my mom and girlfriend dont like each other
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sorry but your mother sounds like a horrible person! She needs to keep her mouth shut if she has nothing nice to say! AND she does'nt lack "tact" she is just outright RUDE. I don't blame your girlfriend for not liking her-I haven't met her and I would never want to!
You mean tact like telling people you don't really know that their mothers are horrible people?0 -
So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".
How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?
I just want to apologize for everyone that clearly disrespected your mother on this message board! Maybe she was a little harsh what she said to your girl's face, but older people are known for NOT giving a **** about what comes out of their mouth. My dad is a Vietnam Veteran and will cuss you out in a heartbeat for anything. LOL! He is also a laugh riot. She should have known better though than to wear that! You steer on the conservative side when trying to make first impressions (common sense) and I don't know who said you shouldn't have told her anything, but you should have. I bet she would NOT have worn that to an interview and essentially meeting your mom was an interview (she was trying to make a good impression and get the "job" [the good graces of a person who love and adore]). I think both parties should apologize and move on. Your girl should apologize for wearing that attire and ultimately disrespecting your mother and her beliefs. Older people have a way of being extra offended about ANYTHING! Also, your mom should apologize for hurting your girl's feelings (even though she obviously meant what she said)! She may be reluctant to, but if she loves you, wants the best for you, and wants to see you happy then maybe she will make this exception and your girl to. I do wish you luck. Tough situation to be in, but believe me, I've been there.
Respect is earned! And his mother clearly doesn't deserve respect if she "doesn't give a s*** about what comes out of her mouth.0 -
His mother doesn't deserve my respect. I don't even know her.So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".
How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?
I just want to apologize for everyone that clearly disrespected your mother on this message board! Maybe she was a little harsh what she said to your girl's face, but older people are known for NOT giving a **** about what comes out of their mouth. My dad is a Vietnam Veteran and will cuss you out in a heartbeat for anything. LOL! He is also a laugh riot. She should have known better though than to wear that! You steer on the conservative side when trying to make first impressions (common sense) and I don't know who said you shouldn't have told her anything, but you should have. I bet she would NOT have worn that to an interview and essentially meeting your mom was an interview (she was trying to make a good impression and get the "job" [the good graces of a person who love and adore]). I think both parties should apologize and move on. Your girl should apologize for wearing that attire and ultimately disrespecting your mother and her beliefs. Older people have a way of being extra offended about ANYTHING! Also, your mom should apologize for hurting your girl's feelings (even though she obviously meant what she said)! She may be reluctant to, but if she loves you, wants the best for you, and wants to see you happy then maybe she will make this exception and your girl to. I do wish you luck. Tough situation to be in, but believe me, I've been there.
DEFINITELY THIS^^^^ FINALLY, someone who is not disrespecting his mother..0 -
No girlfriend and mom ever really get along. Me and my boyfriend's mom got along GREAT until we moved in together, now we're in a constant battle with each other and she did some really f**ked up stuff to me so the boyfriend finally put his foot down with her and she's starting to back off. She acts like I took her baby away, mid you we're 30yrs old. So you have to decide if you can live with it that's all
I've gotten along with every mom of a guy I've dated. They don't have to like each other but they need to genuinely be respectful of each for your sake. In this 'first meeting' instance your mother is in the wrong for saying something so offensive to her face. But your gf def should have shown a little more class in her attire for meeting your mother for the first time.0 -
Kudos to you OP, you are one of my favourite subtle trolls on this site. Your last post about your wife trying to poison you was great entertainment, and provoked the obvious ****storm.
I hope this thread will be as successful.
A+ would read again.
Oh dear! I missed that one.
Me, too!
I will say that my troll sensor did blink a bit while reading the OP, but I generally accept everyone at face value until they are proven trolls.0 -
Inappropriately dressed or not your mother was extremely rude. As long as your GF's *kitten* was not hanging out of her skirt as an adult she has the right to wear what ever she feels comfortable in, even if it doesn't meet you mother's approval. I definitely think if you care about the GF then you need to let your mom know she was out of line and IMO owes the GF an apology.0
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I think if your GF wears that attire to her job this Fortune 500 company you say than she should be able to wear it to your moms or anywhere else. If she doesn't, than she shouldn't have worn it. I think that you are also at fault here because YOU know your mom better than your GF does and should've given her a heads up on how she will react to her outfit or that she isn't tactful before you got there. Then she could've at least had the option to change or deal with her rudeness by shooting back with a smart remark to her like "well your son seems to like my outfit and he liked it last night too" If your GF is going to be there for the longhaul than she probably will need to learn how to snap back at her. Sometimes people act that way just to see how you'll react or if you can stand your ground. Tell her to grow some balls sorta speak lol0
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So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".
How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?
On your last post my issue wasn't with you giving your gf a heads up, it was your approach. This time, it's with not giving your gf a heads up. Have a talk with both of them about first impressions:
To the gf: I'm really sorry that my mom offended you, she just has a quirky sense of humor and a more traditional taste in clothing. You're both extremely important to me and it would mean a lot to me if we could give this another, fresh start.
To the mom: Mom, you really offended gf, while she is fun and funny she just doesn't have your sense of humor and with her figure even conservative clothing is sentuious. You're both extremely important to me and it would mean a lot to me if we could give this another, fresh start based on personality not taste in attire.
So they spelled sensuous incorrectly, this was good advice. I'm married with two kids and still have TONS of mother in law issues, so be forewarned, if you marry this girl, things could get worse. If you think a disagreement like this is bad, wait til it's something over children, people get crazy.
I would say that you do owe it to your significant other not to make them number two, so if you are serious, you're going to need to spend a lot of time asking your mom to back off. Can you do that? If this girl worth it?
Lastly, I think men in general are mostly bad at "the way" they approach things. A lot of times we ladies need to calm down and understand men don't translate feelings into words well, and that rude or tactless can stem from concern and caring. That said, it is something men tend to get better at with age, especially with a good woman to coach them along. I missed the last posting, but if you're concerned for what she wears, you may just be a good guy (or you may be an *kitten*, I don't like to judge). Point is, how you present it to her is big. Example: " You're really important to me gf, so I want to make sure you and my mom have a smooth start. That outfit is a little sexy for the occassion, I don't want to "get aroused" whith my mom around. And she's kind of old-fashioned." Flatter her lots while you call her outfit trampy and your mom an old stuffed shirt. If she still gets mad, or freaks out, she's one of my lucky generation's "all about me" types, and heaven help you.
Course, now you have to try to arrange a "fresh start." Lots of communication, and remember YOU are involved, whether you want to be in the middle or not. Good luck.0 -
No girlfriend and mom ever really get along. Me and my boyfriend's mom got along GREAT until we moved in together, now we're in a constant battle with each other and she did some really f**ked up stuff to me so the boyfriend finally put his foot down with her and she's starting to back off. She acts like I took her baby away, mid you we're 30yrs old. So you have to decide if you can live with it that's all
I've gotten along with every mom of a guy I've dated. They don't have to like each other but they need to genuinely be respectful of each for your sake. In this 'first meeting' instance your mother is in the wrong for saying something so offensive to her face. But your gf def should have shown a little more class in her attire for meeting your mother for the first time.
Of all the boyfriends I've ever had, I only didn't get along with one mother and that's because she was a truly horrible human being. When she died, only seven people signed the funeral home guest book and they all had known her only a very short time.
I've lived with my current boyfriend for seven years and his mother and I get along great.0 -
Sounds like your mother calls it how she sees it, and doesn't hold her tounge! I love her already!! Seriously if you are meeting someone's parent you should dress respectfully. You don't have to dress like a nun but come on use a little common sense. By the way I LOVE my Mother-in-law! And we have a great relationship and she's as "direct" as your mom. Don't become a the rope in between them and don't carry stories back and forth...just keep your head down. This stuff is only important if you plan on marrying this girl.
Good luck with your situation.0 -
His mother doesn't deserve my respect. I don't even know her.So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".
How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?
I just want to apologize for everyone that clearly disrespected your mother on this message board! Maybe she was a little harsh what she said to your girl's face, but older people are known for NOT giving a **** about what comes out of their mouth. My dad is a Vietnam Veteran and will cuss you out in a heartbeat for anything. LOL! He is also a laugh riot. She should have known better though than to wear that! You steer on the conservative side when trying to make first impressions (common sense) and I don't know who said you shouldn't have told her anything, but you should have. I bet she would NOT have worn that to an interview and essentially meeting your mom was an interview (she was trying to make a good impression and get the "job" [the good graces of a person who love and adore]). I think both parties should apologize and move on. Your girl should apologize for wearing that attire and ultimately disrespecting your mother and her beliefs. Older people have a way of being extra offended about ANYTHING! Also, your mom should apologize for hurting your girl's feelings (even though she obviously meant what she said)! She may be reluctant to, but if she loves you, wants the best for you, and wants to see you happy then maybe she will make this exception and your girl to. I do wish you luck. Tough situation to be in, but believe me, I've been there.
DEFINITELY THIS^^^^ FINALLY, someone who is not disrespecting his mother..
Because you don't know her, means you don't know whether she deserves respect or not. Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes say mean things, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve respect.0 -
youre not a jerk. because if you was you wouldnt CARE...your mom would probably have to grow to like her and vice versa..stay with your girlfriend for you....and dont allow your mom to get involved and into your business.0
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All I know is I'm not bringing some guy off the street with saggy jeans and a tank top to come and meet my mother and father for the first time. I have way more love and respect for them than that. I would never let him get away with disrespecting our household like that. He would have to change before he goes to meet Colonel and Mrs. Smoot period. But I wouldnt even date anybody where it would cross their mind to dress inappropriately for a first time meeting.0
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You don't have to leave either. They might not like each other. They'll just have to get over it because you are the one seeing the girl, not your mother. And I don't believe it says anywhere that you have to like your in-laws. You just have to bare-with them when you meet up with them. But if you happen to get along with them, then great! Makes things easier. Maybe try talking to your GF and see if she can at least understand where your mother is coming from.. And talk to you mother, see if she can see where your GF is coming from as well.0
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So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".
How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?
I just want to apologize for everyone that clearly disrespected your mother on this message board! Maybe she was a little harsh what she said to your girl's face, but older people are known for NOT giving a **** about what comes out of their mouth. My dad is a Vietnam Veteran and will cuss you out in a heartbeat for anything. LOL! He is also a laugh riot. She should have known better though than to wear that! You steer on the conservative side when trying to make first impressions (common sense) and I don't know who said you shouldn't have told her anything, but you should have. I bet she would NOT have worn that to an interview and essentially meeting your mom was an interview (she was trying to make a good impression and get the "job" [the good graces of a person who love and adore]). I think both parties should apologize and move on. Your girl should apologize for wearing that attire and ultimately disrespecting your mother and her beliefs. Older people have a way of being extra offended about ANYTHING! Also, your mom should apologize for hurting your girl's feelings (even though she obviously meant what she said)! She may be reluctant to, but if she loves you, wants the best for you, and wants to see you happy then maybe she will make this exception and your girl to. I do wish you luck. Tough situation to be in, but believe me, I've been there.
Respect is earned! And his mother clearly doesn't deserve respect if she "doesn't give a s*** about what comes out of her mouth.
To be honest, the girl brought it on herself when she showed up to that woman's house inappropriately dressed. No, she didn't deserve to be reamed like that, but you kinda open yourself up when you wear that around older people, especially your boyfriend's mom. I'm from Louisiana, the ultimate conservative deep south, and you respect your elders to the utmost and wearing inappropriate clothing is something that will get a Bible thrown at you. LOL!0 -
If your mom is anything like my mom, you can't just tell her how she was supposed to behave. Your mother is an adult and if you approach her telling her what she should have done, you'll have a very pissed off Momma on your hands. I do think it's appropriate for you to bring up to her GENTLY that she really offended your girlfriend. As for your girlfriend, I think if you approach her with the facts of what dress your mother deems appropriate and the fact that she is going a bit senile, I would hope she would be more understanding. At any rate, you're going to have to sit them both down (especially if you're serious about this girl) and tell them your position. Do not let them put you in a situation to have to choose one over the other.0
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To be honest, the girl brought it on herself when she showed up to that woman's house inappropriately dressed. No, she didn't deserve to be reamed like that, but you kinda open yourself up when you wear that around older people, especially your boyfriend's mom. I'm from Louisiana, the ultimate conservative deep south, and you respect your elders to the utmost and wearing inappropriate clothing is something that will get a Bible thrown at you. LOL!
I totally agree with this. It's not that you want to be something that you're not... you just need to exercise common sense around others.0 -
im sorry, but for my experience there is nothing you can do
Just be fair and dont make any drastic decision when in comes to stay on the side of one or other.0 -
This is just my personal opinion of course, but - you GF should not have to dress to impress your Mama. You obviously love her for who she is - and if a tight skirt is what she feels most comfortable in - then by all means, let her wear the damn skirt.
So you mean it is OK to wear a bikini top & a short shorts on a first meet-up if that is what you're comfortable with? Just because you're comfy to wear it doesn't mean you can do it. I have nothing against wearing a tight skirt but there is a right time & place to wear it. Would you show up in a job interview in a fortune 500 co in a sweat pants or short shorts just because that's what you find most comfortable? I don't think so.
This wasn't a job interview and she wasn't in a bikini top. You don't even know what type of skirt his mother considers to be too short or too tight. Sorry, but his mother is just a person and his girlfriend is just a person and neither should be judging the other.0 -
SMDH at some of these comments0
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