ladies help! my mom and girlfriend dont like each other
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How can you say that, when you don't know her??? His mom is just being honest..Obviously she wants a good woman for her son..No female should dress that way meeting the parents the first time...(in my opinion) Im not saying his girlfriend can dress how she wants, because maybe thats her style, but at the same time maybe wear something that isn't so tight and short. But to call his mom a ***** and you don't know her is ****ed up..Wow your mom's a b****.
But Dave, maybe talk with your mom about it..Explain to her how you feel about the girl, and ask her to try and respect her.Also talk to your girlfriend.. If you really care about this chic, then your mom will respect your wishes and same as the girlfriend..But hopefully they get along sooner than later..Other wise that would be hard.
How can you say that when you don't know her??? You don't know whether she was being honest or rude. You don't know if she really wants the best for her son or if she just doesn't want any woman taking her place.0 -
shes your girl.
either you like/lov her or you dont. you shouldn't dictate what she wears, nor should your mom make such comments to her..
id tell my mom to suck it but hey thats just me0 -
Ugh, first hand experience.. They will NEVER get along. They may play nice, but they will never be 100%0
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I think they should fight to the death. The winner gets to be the recipient of your devotion. Also, the winner gets to not die.0
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So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".
How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?
I just want to apologize for everyone that clearly disrespected your mother on this message board! Maybe she was a little harsh what she said to your girl's face, but older people are known for NOT giving a **** about what comes out of their mouth. My dad is a Vietnam Veteran and will cuss you out in a heartbeat for anything. LOL! He is also a laugh riot. She should have known better though than to wear that! You steer on the conservative side when trying to make first impressions (common sense) and I don't know who said you shouldn't have told her anything, but you should have. I bet she would NOT have worn that to an interview and essentially meeting your mom was an interview (she was trying to make a good impression and get the "job" [the good graces of a person who love and adore]). I think both parties should apologize and move on. Your girl should apologize for wearing that attire and ultimately disrespecting your mother and her beliefs. Older people have a way of being extra offended about ANYTHING! Also, your mom should apologize for hurting your girl's feelings (even though she obviously meant what she said)! She may be reluctant to, but if she loves you, wants the best for you, and wants to see you happy then maybe she will make this exception and your girl to. I do wish you luck. Tough situation to be in, but believe me, I've been there.
Respect is earned! And his mother clearly doesn't deserve respect if she "doesn't give a s*** about what comes out of her mouth.
To be honest, the girl brought it on herself when she showed up to that woman's house inappropriately dressed. No, she didn't deserve to be reamed like that, but you kinda open yourself up when you wear that around older people, especially your boyfriend's mom. I'm from Louisiana, the ultimate conservative deep south, and you respect your elders to the utmost and wearing inappropriate clothing is something that will get a Bible thrown at you. LOL!
and I would throw it right back!0 -
How can you say that, when you don't know her??? His mom is just being honest..Obviously she wants a good woman for her son..No female should dress that way meeting the parents the first time...(in my opinion) Im not saying his girlfriend can dress how she wants, because maybe thats her style, but at the same time maybe wear something that isn't so tight and short. But to call his mom a ***** and you don't know her is ****ed up..Wow your mom's a b****.
But Dave, maybe talk with your mom about it..Explain to her how you feel about the girl, and ask her to try and respect her.Also talk to your girlfriend.. If you really care about this chic, then your mom will respect your wishes and same as the girlfriend..But hopefully they get along sooner than later..Other wise that would be hard.
How can you say that when you don't know her??? You don't know whether she was being honest or rude. You don't know if she really wants the best for her son or if she just doesn't want any woman taking her place.
you don't need to "KNOW" someone to when they are being rude!0 -
To be honest, the girl brought it on herself when she showed up to that woman's house inappropriately dressed. No, she didn't deserve to be reamed like that, but you kinda open yourself up when you wear that around older people, especially your boyfriend's mom. I'm from Louisiana, the ultimate conservative deep south, and you respect your elders to the utmost and wearing inappropriate clothing is something that will get a Bible thrown at you. LOL!
and I would throw it right back!
And the Lord spoketh unto her and He said, "Thou shalt clothe thyself in a skirt no shorter than mid-knee." And she did. And it was good.0 -
Maybe your mom should learn to judge people by who they are and not what they wear.
My mother in law and I didn't like each other at all when I started dating my husband. But there is no rule saying that everyone has to like each other so we just dealt with it. Over the years we have learned to tolerate each other, but we are by no means friends. If you really want to be with that person, you tell your mom that she's just going to have to deal.
Oh, and BTW stand up for your woman to your mom. If you don't it'll be one of the quickest ways to doom your relationship.0 -
So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".
How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?
I just want to apologize for everyone that clearly disrespected your mother on this message board! Maybe she was a little harsh what she said to your girl's face, but older people are known for NOT giving a **** about what comes out of their mouth. My dad is a Vietnam Veteran and will cuss you out in a heartbeat for anything. LOL! He is also a laugh riot. She should have known better though than to wear that! You steer on the conservative side when trying to make first impressions (common sense) and I don't know who said you shouldn't have told her anything, but you should have. I bet she would NOT have worn that to an interview and essentially meeting your mom was an interview (she was trying to make a good impression and get the "job" [the good graces of a person who love and adore]). I think both parties should apologize and move on. Your girl should apologize for wearing that attire and ultimately disrespecting your mother and her beliefs. Older people have a way of being extra offended about ANYTHING! Also, your mom should apologize for hurting your girl's feelings (even though she obviously meant what she said)! She may be reluctant to, but if she loves you, wants the best for you, and wants to see you happy then maybe she will make this exception and your girl to. I do wish you luck. Tough situation to be in, but believe me, I've been there.
Respect is earned! And his mother clearly doesn't deserve respect if she "doesn't give a s*** about what comes out of her mouth.
To be honest, the girl brought it on herself when she showed up to that woman's house inappropriately dressed. No, she didn't deserve to be reamed like that, but you kinda open yourself up when you wear that around older people, especially your boyfriend's mom. I'm from Louisiana, the ultimate conservative deep south, and you respect your elders to the utmost and wearing inappropriate clothing is something that will get a Bible thrown at you. LOL!
and I would throw it right back!
Hmmm...maybe because you don't deserve any respect.0 -
Wow your mom's a b****.
^
If I were your girlfriend and your mom said that to me, you'd probably really want to break up with me after I put her in an armbar for calling me a tramp.
"I don't think I'm going to like your mom very much" is an understatement indeed.0 -
They will eventually get along. Just don't get in the middle or make a big deal about it
This.
Then again maybe not. Your girlfriend doesn't have to like your mom to be with you. Neither does your mom have to like your girlfriend. What they have to do is respect each other for the sake of just loving one common thing....ummm person...you.
If you are serious about this girl then maybe your could have warned her about your mother's personality. Instead you allowed her to walk into something she hadn't prepared herself for. Not a good way to play it.
When it comes down to it. No one on this forum is living your life...nor is your mom or your gf. In the end you have to use your best judgement in this situation. Whats the best thing for you? How could you have approached this situation differently? Man up Daaaaaaave!!0 -
JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY0
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You know your mom is harsh, you know she will have an issue, you should have said something. You could have said, my mom is kinda conservative, do you mind wearing a skirt a little longer, I love it, but she wont.
If they hate each other, it wont change. At some point, you will either have to make a choice or one of them will make it for you.0 -
honestly - i think your mum is really funny - i might not want her as a mother in law but i would for sure go for a coffee or two with her0
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Remind your GF that your mother is your mother and they are going to have to get along.
I disagree. They don't "have" to get along. However, they should be respectful to one another.
Tell GF that your mom is old school and doesn't appreciate club wear...and ask if, for the sake of everyone getting along, she could dress a little more conservatively.
Tell Mom that you appreciate her input but you also care for this girl and could she keep her thoughts to herself.
Easier said than done, I know. Looks like you'll be needing to set some boundaries!0 -
I say if the relationship with your girlfriend has potential to grow into
something even more serious be on her side. I had a sort of similar problem where
my mom in-law and I did not get along and I'm pretty sure I would have broken up with
my now fiancée if he would not have been on my side.0 -
I knew my mother in law before we got married, she loved me. She past away soon after we got married, but I met the rest of his family and his aunt tried to take the place of his mom after she past away and she is insane and acts like I took away her baby?? We get a long as long as we are not in the same room together, or either my hubby or his big uncle are in the room with us. Even with them in the same room she will breakout the potential bride photos and try to get my husband to pick out a bride from their home country.
It is normal for the mother in law to not get a long with the daughter in law especially if your family comes from a village or your mother was raised in a smaller village especially over seas. This is because they believe they will keep her in line and constantly making an effort to earn their approval and please you. Apparently it is normal in my family also (my father explained it to me), just not to that extreme. Again his Aunt is nuts!!!0 -
wow, your mother was out of line on this one, While the short skirt may not have been the most appropriate thing to wear, what about the person on the inside??? Doesn't anyone take time to look beyond the cover anymore to see??? Maybe your girlfriend thought she was looking appropriate for the meeting, maybe her sense of fashion is fun and flirty. Seems like you are a mommas boy and you will allow momma to chase away someone that could have ended up being "the one". You are obviously not a child anymore, so grow up!0
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Ugh, first hand experience.. They will NEVER get along. They may play nice, but they will never be 100%
This. On the one hand, it kinda sounded like mama had her mind made up before the conversation even started. On the other hand, I'd NEVER wear a short, tight skirt to meet my boyfriend's mother for the first time. Honestly, I wouldn't wear one now if I knew I was going to be seeing her, and she loves me like a daughter (she even calls me to complain about my bf lol). Have a talk with both of them separately, try again, and if it's not any better, then it kinda sounds to me like you've got a decision to make (which sucks, but you can't go on playing mediator forever).
As the old saying goes, "If mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy."
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I dont see why a GROWN *kitten* WOMAN would wear a short AND tight skirt to meet a dates mom in the first place....moms comment was a little EXTRA.....Just chill and see what their interaction is the next time because they may have just started out on the wrong foot.....I mean geesh what kind of reaction was she looking for with that skirt, she already impressed you.....0
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