men quick question

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  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    Number 3 would be my only answer.
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
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    You forgot one major possiblity. Gay?
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
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    This is something to discuss with your hubby and/or a therapist. People here really aren't qualified to give you insight into how he's feeling and what he's thinking.

    Quickly - speaking as someone with high confidence and an SO without, you really need to try to open your mind to how severely self-consciousness can effect that part of your relationship. Sex is about so, so much more than attraction and hormones. If you feel unworthy of that level of enjoyment, or alienated, or any number of other things, it really will kill libido. Don't think that just because he's a guy he has to be wanting sex first and foremost. There are other pieces to this puzzle that seem to me to be more important.
  • mandag9008
    mandag9008 Posts: 182 Member
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    i try to get it all the time. he just does not want to. and i mean i try. i walk around naked, i have bought cute outfits , nice undies, i have hills. curled my hair, got dolled up. and nothing. so the no quicky part or even sex part isnt bc of me.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    ive actually ask him. he wouldnt respond. i know its not cheating. i would know.(past situation). i think hes to nice to come out and say he isnt into me anymore. but actions speak louder than words.

    Not to be crude, but men are into almost anything. Just keep asking. Act upset about it. You can probably figure it out from there by how he reacts.

    *speechless*
  • mandag9008
    mandag9008 Posts: 182 Member
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    he wouldnt go to a therapist. i have ask time and time again. i ask here bc i wanted another mans opinion maybe to open my eyes to another spectrum.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    I think you can narrow it down to 2 answers. He is getting it elsewhere or he is gay.
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
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    Most women completely fail to understand that guys need TWO kinds of sex. One is the very attentive and loving kind that women say they want and the other is best described as a QUICKIE. If you don't give your guy about 10 quickies for every "attention session" then he is not getting what he wants.
    His desires count too.

    This is a ludicrous generalization. His desires do count too, but this sounds really specific- not all men and not all women are this polar opposite in their sexual preferences- and there are a bunch of shades between quickie and "attention session".
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
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    i try to get it all the time. he just does not want to. and i mean i try. i walk around naked, i have bought cute outfits , nice undies, i have hills. curled my hair, got dolled up. and nothing. so the no quicky part or even sex part isnt bc of me.

    Maybe it's the outfits you are wearing or the way they fit you. Take some pics with you in them and send them too me. I will give you an honest guy opinion.
  • mandag9008
    mandag9008 Posts: 182 Member
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    Most women completely fail to understand that guys need TWO kinds of sex. One is the very attentive and loving kind that women say they want and the other is best described as a QUICKIE. If you don't give your guy about 10 quickies for every "attention session" then he is not getting what he wants.
    His desires count too.

    This is a ludicrous generalization. His desires do count too, but this sounds really specific- not all men and not all women are this polar opposite in their sexual preferences- and there are a bunch of shades between quickie and "attention session".
    true
  • mandag9008
    mandag9008 Posts: 182 Member
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    haha nice try
  • wingednotes
    wingednotes Posts: 279
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    Look up Madonna complex.
  • LadyRush
    LadyRush Posts: 95 Member
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    Perhaps there is an erectile dysfunction problem happening that he is reluctant to talk about... that would be embarassing to talk about even with his spouse. Maybe a counsellor might help....
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    Most women completely fail to understand that guys need TWO kinds of sex. One is the very attentive and loving kind that women say they want and the other is best described as a QUICKIE. If you don't give your guy about 10 quickies for every "attention session" then he is not getting what he wants.
    His desires count too.

    This is a ludicrous generalization. His desires do count too, but this sounds really specific- not all men and not all women are this polar opposite in their sexual preferences- and there are a bunch of shades between quickie and "attention session".
    true
    OF COURSE ITS A GENERALIZATION !
    I am sorry if I couldn't include a balanced description of all aspects of human behavior in a 5 line internet post answering your question about getting your husband's doodle excited.
    (insult edited out because I was taught to respect people of varying mental abilities)
  • dukes418
    dukes418 Posts: 207 Member
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    Consider talking to your husband and stop asking strangers what could be the reason he doesn't want to have relations with you. Unless you want to have your head cluttered with a bunch of ideas that may not even be close to whatever the issue is, I seriously suggest you just ask "honey, what's up?" You may find out that just sincerely asking may open the door. Keep in mind, you'll need to put on your "tough skin" suit when you ask. What you may find out is something that maybe not what you want to hear. Hopefully, you too can have a healthy conversation about the issue and move on. You'll gain a great amount of respect if you go to the source rather than reaching for straws on a message board for answers/advice.
  • mandag9008
    mandag9008 Posts: 182 Member
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    thats another thing girls he has noooo problem getting an errection. and he will not go to a counselor. he said and i quote " im mexican i dont need a counselor" idk what that means.
  • mandag9008
    mandag9008 Posts: 182 Member
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    ive honestly tried asking him. ive come out and ask. ive had a sit down and talk. all i ever get is the wall. he puts up a wall. then 5 minutes later tells me im beautiful. i guess i just wanted different opinions. i feel like everytime i ask im pulling a dog out of the air. or something.
  • blind4
    blind4 Posts: 28 Member
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    probably getting it somewhere else... a guy is rarely tired to go to action, i don't think is body image because if you still want with him then he should be grateful someone wants him looking the way he looks, so for me

    1.Affair
    2.need to spice it up, he might be bored with just regular sex, but that's not even a excuse for just 4 times since Sept 4 2011
  • docdrd
    docdrd Posts: 174 Member
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    If you have asked him and he won't respond and now you are thinking about something on the side, it's time to get extra help. Go to a Pastor or a therapist before you do something that you can't take back. There are a gazillion and a half reasons, but he should be willing to talk about them for the sake of the marriage. If he won't talk to you, and he won't go to talk with a professional there to help, then that is telling you that there is a more serious issue than just a lack of sex. Good luck!
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
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    Never had a girlfriend, never was laid, nor do I want to... and no I am not gay...

    So my opinion means much of 2 cents.... but, is there something else that seems to be lacking in the relationship?

    I mean, did you used to go out for 'date nights' and recently stopped? Did he lose his job? Has he stopped hanging out with the guys? You don't have to answer, just food for thought.... I am sure you could look for other things that are missing

    Rarely, if something is wrong, is only one thing effected.

    If no one does the dishes, then their is no clean dishes for meals, or cups for drinks... then the options go to take out, or dollar store meals.... money spent on meals increase.... instead of being diverted to other avenues..... just an example.

    Guy's and Ladies, aren't as different to say the things that effect guys, don't effect the other. The two just go about different ways of dealing with it.

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