men quick question

124

Replies

  • He could be addicted to online porn.
  • yungnold
    yungnold Posts: 33 Member
    I didn't read through every single post so sorry if I say whats been said already, But there could be a couple reasons. I never met a man that turned down sex even if he wasn't attracted to the woman.

    1. Getting it from some where else
    2. He's gay
    3. Stress
    4. Porn... it actually can ruin the excitement men getting from seeing real women

    But you should really ask him that's the only sure way to know what's going on... we could all be wrong lol
  • KariQuiteContrary
    KariQuiteContrary Posts: 274 Member
    I think all of the internet psychologists have no idea what's really going on, because the only one that really knows whats going on is your husband. There can be any number of reasons why he's denying sex. Without knowing the man, which none of us do, none of us can say with any certainty what that reason is.

    Ask him. If he's not into you anymore, time to move on.

    This.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    4 times since 9/2011???

    For me and you KNOW he is not cheating...
    He would have to get the talking. You can't live the next 50 years with that type of sexual relationship. I know couples in long relationships tend to go through dry spells but that is waaaaayyyyyyyy too long. And his lack of communication is a huge problem....HUGE!
    Allow me to introduce you to my deal breaker....
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    sry went to work out.

    answers:
    1.yes we work out together. we diet together, everyday.
    2. no drugs.

    Maybe you spend so much time together he is just sick of you
  • Farfourah
    Farfourah Posts: 896 Member
    Your vagina smells a foul.
  • LiftBigtoGetFit
    LiftBigtoGetFit Posts: 3,399 Member
    not sure if you do this or not, but lifting him up/making him feel like a man (not just in bed). make sure not to complain about finances/living conditions things he is supposed to provide. it is ok to discuss issues but you want to make sure to discuss things without hurting his feelings, which might be hard to do because most men wont let you know if you are. amongst the other things being discussed, depression, stress, etc. hope things get better for you.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    I think you can narrow it down to 2 answers. He is getting it elsewhere or he is gay.
    kinda leaning towards this too..

    This is unreal to me. I can't believe people's first thoughts on lack of sex drive is cheating or sexuality related. I think this is such a general ignorant response. I'm not saying it's not an option, but this whole attitude that if men don't want sex, it's just unthinkable so they MUST be cheating or gay. There is no one size fits all for sexual issues, and these two issues are very 'day time tv' perspectives on real life issue that have many different triggers and causes.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!
  • FlyeredUp
    FlyeredUp Posts: 632 Member
    My sex drive last year when I felt like a 60 year old man and look liked one aswell was very low. But now you better watch the F#@K out!!
    And if its not a similiar type of thing that he is going thru , I agree 100% with the guys that mentioned the following.
    Cheating or addicted porn!!
  • FlyeredUp
    FlyeredUp Posts: 632 Member
    I think you can narrow it down to 2 answers. He is getting it elsewhere or he is gay.
    kinda leaning towards this too..

    This is unreal to me. I can't believe people's first thoughts on lack of sex drive is cheating or sexuality related. I think this is such a general ignorant response. I'm not saying it's not an option, but this whole attitude that if men don't want sex, it's just unthinkable so they MUST be cheating or gay. There is no one size fits all for sexual issues, and these two issues are very 'day time tv' perspectives on real life issue that have many different triggers and causes.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!
  • FlyeredUp
    FlyeredUp Posts: 632 Member
    i try to get it all the time. he just does not want to. and i mean i try. i walk around naked, i have bought cute outfits , nice undies, i have hills. curled my hair, got dolled up. and nothing. so the no quicky part or even sex part isnt bc of me.
    :flowerforyou: I just wanted to give you a flower for being the perfect women!! I hope you are able to work it out with him.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    I think you can narrow it down to 2 answers. He is getting it elsewhere or he is gay.
    kinda leaning towards this too..

    This is unreal to me. I can't believe people's first thoughts on lack of sex drive is cheating or sexuality related. I think this is such a general ignorant response. I'm not saying it's not an option, but this whole attitude that if men don't want sex, it's just unthinkable so they MUST be cheating or gay. There is no one size fits all for sexual issues, and these two issues are very 'day time tv' perspectives on real life issue that have many different triggers and causes.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

    Sigh.

    And why are you saying the 'male sex drive' as if it's related to gender? I have a higher sex drive than any male I've ever met.
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

    So there is something wrong with a guy, who has no sex drive, or isn't addicted to porn?
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    It could have nothing to do with you.
    April of last year, I completely lost interest in sex with my boyfriend of 2 years, and it was because of how disgusted I was with myself and how bad my depression had become.(I could hardly even stand up in the shower)
    I told him this, but he wouldn't listen and kept saying that it must be him.
    Soooo he kept pushing for it, and that pushed me away even further. I eventually ended becoming disgusted with him as well because of how aggressive and pushy he became. What I needed was TIME, but he wouldn't give it to me.
    Either way, my insecurities became too much and I left him.

    Give him a little space with it, and don't push him too hard. It could be any number of things.
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    okay so i have been coming up w reasons why a man wouldnt want to have "relations"...do it....w a woman. My husbands has body image issues and hes totally taking it to far but lately ive been wondering if thats what it really is. s0 here are the reasons ive come up with:
    1.affair
    2. hes not attracted to me
    3. hes tired
    4. he hates sex (yea right)
    5. he doesnt like the poontang, haha i rarely think its that,


    wo please if u have any ideas why guys dont want to well do it please add them. Remember this is from a womans point of view. i need a mans point of view. someone besides the husband,

    only 5 real reasons....
    He is gay
    He thinks you're ugly
    His junk doesn't work
    He is cheating and feels guilty cheating with you against his cheat girlfriend
    He is gay
  • MaryBowen27
    MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

    So there is something wrong with a guy, who has no sex drive, or isn't addicted to porn?

    Well according to flyered up, such a man doesn't exist. Or if he does, he's gay.
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

    So there is something wrong with a guy, who has no sex drive, or isn't addicted to porn?

    Well according to flyered up, such a man doesn't exist. Or if he does, he's gay.

    FLyered up is 100% correct.
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

    So there is something wrong with a guy, who has no sex drive, or isn't addicted to porn?

    Well according to flyered up, such a man doesn't exist. Or if he does, he's gay.

    FLyered up is 100% correct.

    Just because you lovely gentlemen are fueled by hormones doesn't mean that all of the other men out there are as well. Some of them actually have feelings. (other than in their penis) :)
    Do roids damage your ability to empathize? I'm gonna go with yes.
  • jiggy_gibby
    jiggy_gibby Posts: 197
    What did your husband say when you asked him what was wrong? If you don't ask, he won't tell you.

    Something is wrong physically or mentally for a 24 year old male to avoid sex, especially if you were initially active in your marriage!

    Ask him and listen.

    If he refuses to tell you or says "nothing", tell him YOUR FEARS as a way to try to open up the conversation.

    If he doesn't start talking - there is an even bigger problem- lack of communication and that is never a good thing in a relationship.
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

    So there is something wrong with a guy, who has no sex drive, or isn't addicted to porn?

    Well according to flyered up, such a man doesn't exist. Or if he does, he's gay.

    FLyered up is 100% correct.

    Just because you lovely gentlemen are fueled by hormones doesn't mean that all of the other men out there are as well. Some of them actually have feelings. (other than in their penis) :)
    Do roids damage your ability to empathize? I'm gonna go with yes.

    How does having feelings play into this at all? Im a dude, i know dudes, chit I attend all the meetings and follow all the rules. Trust me when I say if a dude does not want to hook it up with his SO it can only be for the following;
    1. He is gay
    2. his chit doesnt work
    3. He is cheating

    That is IT.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    First thoughts:

    1. Depression
    2. Affair
    3. Stress
    4. Erectile dysfunction (or fear thereof)
    5. Thinks (or knows!) he's got an STD
    6, He's just not that into you any more

    Really, you need to back him into a corner and say "This is VERY important, spill the beans right now or I'm out of here"
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    Also thanks for the roids comment, I almost take it as a compliment. Wish I looked good enough to be thought of as on roids lol.
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

    So there is something wrong with a guy, who has no sex drive, or isn't addicted to porn?

    Well according to flyered up, such a man doesn't exist. Or if he does, he's gay.

    FLyered up is 100% correct.

    Just because you lovely gentlemen are fueled by hormones doesn't mean that all of the other men out there are as well. Some of them actually have feelings. (other than in their penis) :)
    Do roids damage your ability to empathize? I'm gonna go with yes.

    How does having feelings play into this at all? Im a dude, i know dudes, chit I attend all the meetings and follow all the rules. Trust me when I say if a dude does not want to hook it up with his SO it can only be for the following;
    1. He is gay
    2. his chit doesnt work
    3. He is cheating

    That is IT.

    No, that is NOT "IT".
    Seriously? IT could have a lot to do with many other things that are not on your list.
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

    So there is something wrong with a guy, who has no sex drive, or isn't addicted to porn?

    Well according to flyered up, such a man doesn't exist. Or if he does, he's gay.

    FLyered up is 100% correct.

    Just because you lovely gentlemen are fueled by hormones doesn't mean that all of the other men out there are as well. Some of them actually have feelings. (other than in their penis) :)
    Do roids damage your ability to empathize? I'm gonna go with yes.

    How does having feelings play into this at all? Im a dude, i know dudes, chit I attend all the meetings and follow all the rules. Trust me when I say if a dude does not want to hook it up with his SO it can only be for the following;
    1. He is gay
    2. his chit doesnt work
    3. He is cheating

    That is IT.

    No, that is NOT "IT".
    Seriously? IT could have a lot to do with many other things that are not on your list.

    Yes it is.
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    [/quote]

    Yes it is.
    [/quote]

    Whatever you say :)
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member

    Yes it is.
    [/quote]

    Whatever you say :)
    [/quote]

    ok let's put it to the test.
  • MaryBowen27
    MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
    Yes it is.

    Whatever you say :)

    Im glad all the great mysteries in life have been solved. Doctors and therapists stop your research. Just give them the good old are you gay, is your **** broken or are you cheating test. Universal libido law.
  • FlyeredUp
    FlyeredUp Posts: 632 Member
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

    So there is something wrong with a guy, who has no sex drive, or isn't addicted to porn?
    No I did not say that, please read the post I made prior to that.
    But like I said if its not depression or low T levels (which there is no shame in either one)
    out of all my friends over the years that lost interest in having sex with their wife or girlfriend
    it was because of one of the following 3 things:
    Cheating
    addicted to Porn
    his partner *****ed or nagged at him sooo much that he could no longer stand to even touch her any longer. Which I dont think is the issue in the OP.'s relationship. In my opinion the OP.'s husband is going to thru exactly what I did not to long ago and is depressed because he currently hates the way he looks and feels.
  • greene89
    greene89 Posts: 49 Member
    Me and my guy just mix it up alot, Do it in different places, be dangerous and talk dirty. We dont get bored because we are very sexually attracted to eachother. I get riled up just looking at him and vice versa. I am the 2nd woman he has evyer been with and he wanted to date me for about 5 years but I was dating his best friend... Anyways, You gotta keep it interesting, Some guys though cant be faithfull, And cant just be with the same woman. On the other hand I have been with 2 guys that have worshipped me and never needed another woman while im with em. FIND YOUR GUY THAT WILL BE LIKE THAT or your wasting too much of your life on a pointless relationship !
This discussion has been closed.