The secrets to cutting fat and looking awesome

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  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    You have forgotten one of the most important tenets of weight loss:

    A pound of marshmallows weighs less than a pound of lean chicken.

    Therefore you should eat more light foods and less heavy foods in order to lose weight. My friend lost 10 pounds eating only cool whip for a month. I'm not sure if there was a unicorn involved, though.
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 330 Member
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    Awesome advise. Love this thread.
  • Seraphinablu
    Seraphinablu Posts: 26 Member
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    LOL
  • Awkward30
    Awkward30 Posts: 1,927 Member
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    Do you have anything for me if I cut the fat but still don't look awesome? My face is unfortunate.
  • Aineko
    Aineko Posts: 163
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    3) As soon as you wake up every morning, chug a glass of ice water and hop around on your right foot, counter clockwise. It’s a known fact that your body will burn cals heating up the water, and hopping around will make it take even longer to heat up as it’s splashing around, leading to a higher calorie burn.

    Does direction really matter and if so do you have to go clockwise if you live below the equater !
    you have to take Coriolis effect into consideration, otherwise you won't lose any fat!
  • MarianneDarroch
    MarianneDarroch Posts: 71 Member
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    Anyone got a unicorn I can borrow :)
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    can't belive i didn't stumble upon thos earlier.
    I LOVE this post!
  • kendrafallon
    kendrafallon Posts: 1,030 Member
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    2) Eat Ben and Jerry’s or Haagen Dazs 3-7 nights a week. The reason for this is that both companies use magic cows to source their cream, and it has been shown to exponentially increase fat burning.

    This am I'm going to start ASAP!! Cheers m'dear for some extremely valuable pointers!! :bigsmile: :drinker:
  • gail2207
    gail2207 Posts: 133
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    Bump
  • LondonEliza
    LondonEliza Posts: 456 Member
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    I knew from the second I saw unicorns mentioned, this advice was going to be as dependable as he bank of England :)

    Thank you so much, I will change all my eating habits immediately, bulk order soya sauce, fix the broken toaster (jabbing it wildly with a screwdriver while it is plugged in should work, right?) and look forward to seeing the fat flow off.

    I could use a more specific carb breakdown for my weight and height - I am 3"6 wide and weigh the same as 200lbs of feathers NOT 200lbs of muscle (nasty heavy things) Could you help me with this?

    Thank you, random person on a message board on the internet, YOU have changed my life. I am immediately going to do all that you advocate. YOU ROCK!
  • ickybella
    ickybella Posts: 1,438 Member
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    Wait, I thought unicorns cancelled out all calories. All this time! Gonna have to reset my ticker again. Also, where's the part about the peanut butter and standing on your head?
  • julieellam
    julieellam Posts: 20 Member
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    Thanks for these great tips. I've a question though.

    If I turn counter clockwise for more than 360 degrees I have to counteract that by turning the same amount clockwise (I'd be walking in the wrong direction else, wouldn't I!). Does my directional reset counteract the burn from the original hopped turn?
  • Peta22
    Peta22 Posts: 377 Member
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    I'm SO glad you told me about No 6 & 10!!! I'm going to be following these rules religiously! :drinker:
  • cufirst84
    cufirst84 Posts: 127 Member
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    The carb thing totally makes sense...selling my unicorn..lol !!
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    I have some more, but the ones i listed def helped me on my journey. Please no negativity aka correcting where i may have made things up.


    1) Never eat white carbs while riding a unicorn. This one is pretty self explanatory.

    I thought the rule only applied when Mercury was aligned with Venus?
  • aewalk07
    aewalk07 Posts: 51 Member
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    :) thanks for the laugh
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    The best part of the list was the complete lack of any studies or reviews. I mean we all know science just makes things up. It's all about whatever works for that person. Pfft! Science. Like they ever get anything right.

    *presses reply and his words are magically spread around the world*
  • siliisobel
    siliisobel Posts: 49
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    Erm I dont have a unicorn so how about I substitute it for a horse? Will I still get the same results? :-)
  • MrsLong1980
    MrsLong1980 Posts: 181 Member
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    FYI folks - broken biscuits don't have any calories in them :D

    siliisobel - just glue a wafer cone, preferably with a chocolate tip, to the horse's head and you've got your own home-made unicorn. Bonus since it's home made so will burn more calories for you :D

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