Stay at home parents- (kind of long)

Just remember that whatever your choice, it doesn't have to be forever. I have lots of friends who have gone onto second careers after being moms at home, have jumped back into their original careers, have gone to school again for something totally different, whatever. IMHO, staying home with the kids if financially possible (and we do it and yes, it's painful sometimes from a financial standpoint) is best.

It is a VERY tough decision! I have just let my company know I won't be returning and it was really hard for me to do. On the one hand, you want what is best for your children and to know they are being looked after and getting the best life possible. On the other hand, you have worked so hard to get where you want career wise!

What made it for me was my parents. I don't want to scare you, please don't think that this is how all families are but unfortunately both my parents had to work and I, and my siblings, got up to all kinds of mischief after school etc. because we were unsupervised or with someone who had no say in what we did. It is not my parents fault, they gave us the best life they could but I can't help but think how things would have been different had one of them been at home!

The other thing about financial freedom was the biggest thing for me. In the end, we decided to each have spending money for the month, whatever is best for you, so for example you both get £100 for whatever you want like downloading movies or songs of iTunes, buying clothes, CDs etc. etc. that way I don't feel like I have to keep asking him every time I want to spend money. That also helps our relationship because he has the same amount and, while he NEVER would say this, he can't spend more money and then say he earns it so he can use it.

At the end of the day though, it is entirely based on your circumstances. This works for us for the time being but in a few years when my little one is in nursery or whatever, I may want to return to work even if it is part time.

Good luck with it and always remember that communication is key! If something is not working, you must talk to your partner about it as it can get tough from both parts. The stay at home parent may feel neglected because the working partner is away all day or all night and then might want to go out for drinks after work with a colleague even though you never get a break with the baby and the working partner might feel that the house is dirty or the dinner isn't made and don't understand what you do all day because they've never had to look after the baby 24/7

Sorry for the essay lol - good luck with it xx

I always find it kind of odd the question of to work or not to work. I asume you have a decent paying job or someone to watch your son for free. I have taken care of my stepson since he was 3 and worked up untill he was almost 7 when I had my other son. I worked from home though so it was a lot different. Me and my hubby decided that I would not work after I had my other son becasue its not finacialy reasonable. Daycare is expensive!! I am still going to college ( im 21) and any job I could get at this point would only cover childcare cost and gas to get to work. So there is no way I was going to work to have someone else watch my kid. I recently read an article about this that it cost more for moms to work than to stay home.

That being said I still think its most important to be home for your kids. My mom used to work for my grandpa and she was alwasy home or I was at work with her. Then she had to get another job, the "freedom" i felt was unreal and i went buck wild and did a lot of things I regret that I know I wouldnt have had teh oportunity to do if she was there. I think that your kids would be best served if someone was there with them. The years go by FAST. a job can come and go, your kids are forever.

as for finances as a dr it doesnt seem like yall will have an issue, but for us my husband works a rather medocre job as h is still in school to, and God always provides some way or another.

I have all the opportunity in the world to do career stuff once they are in school full time. I would reccomend a good support system, and play groups... You really do not realize how much you miss adult interaction until you are talking to a baby for most of your waking hours LOL I

Damn...that's not so bad...we pay 450/week for two

My wife and I decided before our son was born almost 12 years ago, that we would only have kids if my wife could stay home. We have structured our expenses, including the house we bought, cars we drive, vacations we take, to ensure we can do it on just my salary. I have been very fortunate to have a well paying job the past several years, but there are still sacrifices, for sure.

Today, my wife picked up my son at school for lunch, and they went out together. She does that every last Wednesday of the month, a tradition that I think is absolutely awesome, and one he will remember as time he got to spend with Mom.

No question on money - it's all ours. One bank account, discussions about any purchase beyond gas and groceries, and equal consideration for setting financial priorities. We have never had a disagreement about money.

If you can swing it, stay at home with your kids. They will never forget.