deal breaker

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  • mrshoneybear1014
    mrshoneybear1014 Posts: 275 Member
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    Well when I was looking for my SO, I was looking for someone with a little sense of humor but someone that knows when to be serious. Someone with a plan for their life, things that THEY would like accomplish. Someone who was compassionate and made me feel better when with them and someone I couldn't stop thinking of. Someone who got along with my family and vice versa (for the most part hehe). Someone who could look past my weight and height and see the true me.

    My husband has all of those qualities. But I never thought I would fall in love with a long curly haired artist. That one still throws me for a loop. I graduate from law school in a few weeks so our careers could not be more opposite! He continues to surprise me with inner strength that I never realized was there and he tells me I help bring it out in him.

    Oh, and my SO had to be taller!!!! I am 5'10 and I am sorry but I just couldn't deal with someone that wasn't at least near my height. Luckily my husband is an inch or so taller than me :D
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    When I was single, this was my criteria (and fortunately, I found a man who met it all!):

    -Must have a job/car and not live at home with his parents
    -Must not be a smoker. I'll probably have every smoker on MFP calling me judgmental or whatever for that, but sorry, I can't stand it.
    -Must be a Christian. Not that I'm like some Bible thumping zealot or anything, but in the grand scheme of life/marriage/kids, I want my partner's ideology to match mine.
    -Must be open-minded. I know, I know. You're like "But you just said he has to be a Christian?" Yeah, we can be open-minded, too.
    -Must want to get married some day.
    -Must be ok with the fact that I have a child; must be willing to participate in my child's life and must also be able to accept that my son will always be the most important person in my life.

    I found me a keeper 3 1/2 years ago :)
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
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    No abusers (been there got the friggin tshirt)
    No dishonest mofo's (cannot stand liars)
    Must be tolerant and non-judgemental (live and let live)
    Must be self sufficient (I already have 3 kids, don't need another one).
    Must be respectful (of himself, his health, the environment, other people, different opininos, of me, of the law, etc.)
  • cfriend71
    cfriend71 Posts: 207 Member
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    Does not have a job.
    Does not see their own children.
    Lives with parents or possibly a room mate..

    All dealbreakers.
  • linz1125
    linz1125 Posts: 441 Member
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    Bad teeth and bad hygiene are deal breakers

    YES
    If you asked me 6 years ago, I would have added a smoker...but then I met hubby...he was in the process of quitting and still struggles from time to time, but for the most part he has kicked the habit.

    Now, if I didn't have DH, I think it would be a dealbreaker if you are a republican...I just can't get into that lol.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    must have:

    their own place (not at home with momma)
    their own car and/or truck
    a JOB
    sense of humor
    a brain

    not use drugs
    not be racist
    not be homophobic
    not beat kids, animals or SO's

    All of those things too. :)
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    No fat chicks.












































































    Gotcha!
  • anabell31
    anabell31 Posts: 268
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    Deal breakers would be no car (I've been chauffeur for too many dudes) and no job. And I'm 21, so at this point in my life younger guys are out. They're still obsessed with sneaking around and drinking underage trying to be badass.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
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    SEXIST. No "oh, little woman" types.
    Racist...obvs.
    Hates politics.
    Selfish.
    Dumb.
    Porn addicts.
    Doesn't want to get married/have kids ever.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Any dad that was as amazing as you mentioned, would see this ten miles away. If the girl I'm with can't accept my kids as if they were her own...sorry, no dice. They are more important to me than I am, and if she can't put them before herself/ourselves...then I can't put her before me, and...we don't belong together. My kids aren't exceptions.

    Very true. The first hint that whomever I'd date was against my kids, they would be gone. This is mainly because I value them being in my life more than I value anyone's company. And not to mention that they wouldn't deserve a woman who is in my life to be in theirs if she was against them.

    Exactly. If I have to worry about where they stand with her...then as I said, I can't put her before me for fear of where that will land my kids. In a relationship...part of who I am is to hold her up and support her emotionally, physically, mentally...100%. Again...that's not possible if I have to worry about where that places my kids. ANY children come first in a relationship (the majority of the time anyhow...you DO of course need your own time and space etc..that's just common sense), whether it be hers, or mine.
  • SlimSammy2012
    SlimSammy2012 Posts: 893
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    SEXIST. No "oh, little woman" types.
    Racist...obvs.
    Hates politics.
    Selfish.
    Dumb.
    Porn addicts.
    Doesn't want to get married/have kids ever.

    <~~~~I gues I am done! LOL
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,279 Member
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    mine is all caps
    She has to type in all caps at work.

    WHAT? THAT IS ILLOGICAL
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
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    Couple of mine:

    -smoker
    -heavy drinker
    -big party goer
    -trashy/poor behavior/unintelligent/etc.
    -already has kids
    -likes to argue/full of drama
    -very unhealthy & poor eating habits
  • JenW0217
    JenW0217 Posts: 11 Member
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    MUST BE INTELLIGENT #1 QUALITY I LOOK FOR
    RACCIST
    RUDE
    SMOKING/ DRUGS/ DRINKING ON A REGULAR BASIS
    NO SENSE OF ADVENTURE
    PRUDE OR TIMID IN THE BEDROOM (I LIKE MY BOYS DIRTY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS)
    CHEAP, IF YOU CAN'T BUY ME COFFEE ON THE FIRST DATE WE SHOULDN'T BE DATING (P.S. I PAY FOR DATES TOO!)
    JOBLESS
    NEGATIVE ATTITUDE, I CAN'T BE YOUR ONLY SOURCE OF HAPPINESS. IT'S DRAINING. SERIOUSLY.
    MUST HAVE A CAR (I WILL MEET HALFWAY AND SHARE DRIVE TIME ETC. I AM NOT A TAXI)
    I THINK THATS IT

    ^^^ THIS ^^^
  • bitty1taz
    bitty1taz Posts: 309 Member
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    No verbal or physical abuse, must have good hygien, has to like kids, no heavy drinking, no hard drugs, must have a job.
    I want an upbeat person with a sense of humor. AND, because I'm on a fitness journey it would be great if they are active also. But they can't be a jerk about it.
    I don't want them in my face if I happen to eat a candy bar or don't work out every day.
    I think now that I'm getting older and have put up with a lot of crap I'm getting picky.

    Oh, and they can't be racist or basically a negative person.
  • MyTime1985
    MyTime1985 Posts: 456 Member
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    Non-Judgemental.
    Must either be working or going to school;not stagnant.
    I don't mind if you live with your parents as long as you don't intend to stay there forever.
    No drug addicts or alcoholics.
    Not clingy.
    Not jealous.
    Must be Christian.
    Be okay with not meeting my child for a long time if ever.
    Must be passionate about something.
    Must have friends and a social like outside of the romantic relationship.
    Must be okay with my obsession with football.

    Now I have it in writing exactly why I'm single. :huh:
  • Fairy_Farts
    Fairy_Farts Posts: 166 Member
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    I have too many to list....

    you'll have to wait 'til my book comes out.
  • MaryDreamer
    MaryDreamer Posts: 439
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    Not promiscuous and not a fundy! No substance abuse addictions or mental instability either. So glad I've been married for over 21 yrs! (and he never leaves the toilet lid up and neither does my son!)
  • SlimSammy2012
    SlimSammy2012 Posts: 893
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    Serioulsy, No real deal breakers other than Liars, cheaters, thieves and drug/Alcohol abusers....

    Kids Great!
  • Jamie2007
    Jamie2007 Posts: 169
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    Crazy Ex-Wives...

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