Man's Rules

245

Replies

  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    Damn.. feel sorry for any woman who has a guy like that
    I hate to break this to you but all guys think like that, they just know better than to say it out loud.

    As for the toilet seat thing, if it's the middle of the night and I don't have my contacts in, it all kind of looks the same. So sorry if I pee on the seat, you should have put it up when you were done.
  • JThomas61
    JThomas61 Posts: 892
    But . . . but, they all say "1.". How do I know which one is the most important?

    The one that gets us our sammich made the quickest. :smokin:

    ^ This!!!
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    lol the hints thing is right. Probably right for women too. We never take the hint.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    I would like to point out that the toilet seat should always be down as the default because both men and women use it in the "down" position for at least one...um, action. Women use it that way for both. 4 possible bathroom jobs and only 1 requires standing/lid up. Put it down, boys.

    (Why yes, I did grow up with 4 men...how could you tell?) :laugh:
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    Look. .The toilet seat thing is the first step in our training. . If a woman can convince us to take responsibility for something that is obviously not our responsibility, and get us to comply with a rule that is completely irrational. .and get us to apologize when we forget to perform this irrational act, then she has won a great victory and all other training becomes easy.

    That being said. . I put the damn seat down!
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    I would like to point out that the toilet seat should always be down as the default because both men and women use it in the "down" position for at least one...um, action. Women use it that way for both. 4 possible bathroom jobs and only 1 requires standing/lid up. Put it down, boys.

    (Why yes, I did grow up with 4 men...how could you tell?) :laugh:
    Yes, but when we drop a deuce we can somehow manage to put the seat down, but when a female can't it somehow becomes the man's fault???
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    Man Rule MIssion Statement: NEVER talk about Man Rules.

    Also, did u see that hottie?
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    After reading this list, I had to go check that I do not, in fact, have a penis.

    I was almost convinced I was a man for a minute there.

    I checked though, and I still have a vagina, despite agreeing with everything on this list.
  • aj_31
    aj_31 Posts: 994 Member
    Lol..this is funny and accurate.
  • Steelheart7
    Steelheart7 Posts: 1,056
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    :huh: :grumble:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    1. Don't ask us if a piece of clothing makes you look fat.........................you may not like the answer. You always want us to tell you the truth except from this question.

    1. Don't tell us to get off the toilet while we're meditating and doing number 2 (we're actually reading and looking at the laptop).

    1. When you tell us a story and we look like a deer lost in headlights......................we are.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    Thanks for the rules. Life just makes more sense now. :)
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    how funny! :) as i was reading them to my husband, he was in fact itching his giggle berries (i know, tmi :laugh: )

    It's not TMI, but giggle berries? that's just gay.
    they're balls. or testiculs if you wanna get technical.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    1. Farting is a manly joy. We love to spread joy around us.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • kenlad64
    kenlad64 Posts: 377 Member
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

    In the middle of the night when you're half dead...the rude awakening you get from the *kitten* bath that ensues when the seat is left up is not overly appreciated.

    I put the seat down at my house... and the lid.

    ^^^^ This is the key!
  • qkidney
    qkidney Posts: 258
    Ha!
  • m60kaf
    m60kaf Posts: 421 Member
    I LOL'd soooooooooooo much at number 1.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    Damn.. feel sorry for any woman who has a guy like that

    Only way you don't have a guy like that is if you're single...
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    Bump for later. :)
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    HA HA! I like this list!
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    1. Farting is a manly joy. We love to spread joy around us.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    card_fart.jpg
  • Ezwoldo
    Ezwoldo Posts: 369 Member



    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



    I love these ones how true they are
  • Jferg69
    Jferg69 Posts: 241 Member
    Hahaha, men rules and I can think of some more......

    Too scared to put them on here though, hahahaha
  • MrsSWW
    MrsSWW Posts: 1,585 Member
    Haha, love it! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    This entire thread is a violation of ManRules. Per last year's meeting in Vegas.
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    :huh: :grumble:

    If is if you let me snipe Wal-Mart customers with Airsoft guns while you shop!

    JM
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    Personally liked the yes and no as perfectly suitable answers....that would save me HOURS if that truly applied \m/

    Also I don't care for trap questions or conversation....the no matter what you say you're wrong situational crap....I tune those out because I know of the pending doom that awaits me \m/
  • BeingWiser
    BeingWiser Posts: 65
    Thanks for giving me the rules! I can stop the beatings..he can't help himself!
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
    Only comment I have on this, is the seat and lid remain closed when the throne is not in use.
  • Cycl0tr0n
    Cycl0tr0n Posts: 52
    I'm a guy *and* I have 'fallen in' after failing to notice the seat was up while stumbling about in zombie-like stupefaction at 4 AM. Not one of my proudest moments :)

    Sad part is, I was probably the one who left it up. Denis always puts the seat down (probably so the cat won't fall in while trying to use the toilet as a step-stool to the window).
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