Closed Diaries?

Mine was open for a while
I had several occasions where people on the forums who creeped my diary came down on me for say...having a piece of cake at a birthday party, or the food choices I made when I was out for dinner etc. I found it irritating, I KNEW they were not great choices, I didn't need it reinforced when i'm nearly always eating healthy within my goals. I have found since closing my diary that i'm much more comfortable putting notes in there about how i'm feeling emotionally/physically so that I can keep an eye on how my improving diet is affecting me etc.*shrugs* I guess I feel like people can support me without seeing absolutely everything I eat. If I were running into a problem i'd open it up to my friends and ask for opinions for sure, but for day to day, I feel better with it closed.

Mine private because:
1)I enjoy my privacy.
2)There is A LOT of people on here who think that there is only one way for you to diet and exercise that works and thats there way! This annoys me and i dont want to deal with these people.
3)I have people in my life that are on MFP and just changing to be healthy that are my support.
4)I don't think it defites the purpose because I'm here for the calorie counter and the forums for questions and ideas.

That being said i'm not saying i don't understand that people want and some need support and they like people keeping an eye on them. I don't like that but I will help support any one who wants to be friends

I just wonder why/how when someone completes their diary for the day they get positive comments ie, good going, well done. when no-one can see what they have eaten. I'm all for giving postive comments on exercising, progress etc but I can't on a closed diary. Thats all folks.


<stands back and waits for the next on-slaught> :noway:

I don't even "complete" my food diary at the end of each day. Never have. So there are no status updates for me about it. I just have no need for others to see my dairy, it does nothing positive for me and actually triggers anxiety to think that people could be looking at something so personal, and that anxiety can actually lead to me to binge (and I eat very healthfully except on Saturdays. But food IS personal, if you don't think so try being vegan for a while. Even when you say nothing about it if you are eating a meal without animals people will comment on it - usually in a defensive manner. Like they think your food choices are a silent judgment on them. Refusing food is often seen as rude, etc, so food and eating can be touchy. Most of my friends on MFP are veg*n, so that is not an issue here, but it's the privacy aspect of it all that creeps me out. But I'm also very private in real life about most things.)

If friends want to leave positive comments on someone's closed diary when it's been completed, that's a different question from asking why do people keep their diaries closed. I almost never look at my friends' diaries, nor do I comment on them. If I have a friend who logs in on MFP sporadically and they have a closed diary they complete I may say "good job logging" or something like that to recognize they logged that day. But frankly I'd rather comment on exercising, I don't have to spend time looking at anything but their status update to see what they did so I can quickly scroll down and do so. Plus, I know I feel like I accomplished something positive each day I exercise, and I'd rather have encouragement for that. That's just what I prefer. We all get different things out of this whole experience, I just don't need encouragement or support for my food choices.

I can understand wanting to get food ideas, but other than that, I don't see why anyone cares what others do with their diaries. And if my friends had something particularly delicious that day they usually comment on it separately anyway. So, we all have different ways of utilizing the tools on MFP that work for us.

Whats wrong with privacy?? My diary was closed when I signed up...never thought about opening it...and I have plenty of support.

You feel uncomfortable supporting a member because you can't see what they are eating? Very interesting!
I truly don't get why some individuals worry about things that have absolutely nothing to do with their own success.

I agree . When people even my carefully selected MFP friends have chastized me for not having my diary open I wonder, why do you need to know what I eat in order for you to be successful?
and I have been successful without an open diary plus I have AWESOME MFPals ! They're the reason I keep going !
I wouldn't put my diary of my innermost feelings online (different than blogging to me) so I'm not going to put my food diary online.
Further- I went through 2 years of therapy with a eating disorder specialist who had to ingrain in me the notion that there are no "good" and "bad" foods. Just food. I can't risk having someone's judgement affect my mindset. And being mindful of that risk is part of my success.

Some people are just private or sensitive...they don't WANT your remarks or input. I don't know why that's so hard to understand??

thanks I DO understand. however do they not want SUPPORT either from their MFP buddies?

You can get support from your MFP buddies WITHOUT an open diary. I've never had mine open, and I have plenty of loving, supportive friends here.

It's MY business what I eat or drink. I don't generally look at other people's diaries, either, unless they WANT me to.

Everyone here has a personal path to take - and NO ONE can do it for you. It's like faith or religion - my way might not be yours, and I can encourage you, but I can't make any decisions for you.

So, that's just my take on the subject :glasses: :glasses:

Not everyone is here for support though. Some people are here only to track their calories and log their exercise.

Agree. But it's such a great support system they should be using it fully.

No.

Just NO.

No one SHOULD do anything because you think it's right for them to do, that's pure and simple arrogance.

Some people would like support, some people don't. Some people find that telling complete strangers on the internet that they have no emotional connection with every single tiny detail of their lives is not something they're interested in doing and they have every right to.

No one should ever feel the need that they MUST do something because others think they should. This thread seriously makes me consider locking my diary back up again, not because I was ashamed of it, or because I was fishing for compliments on it, but because of the amount of entitled, arrogant folks who believe they have a right to my business.

Mine is open to my friends but closed to everyone else because frankly I don't want people snooping around my diary and telling me I should be eating more/what I should be eating, that I won't lose weight/gain muscle with my food choices etc etc etc. I know what I'm doing and my friends will hold me accountable for what I eat, if I have an off day or whatever.

What's wrong with just asking people what they eat? If I'm feeling bored I post something in my newsfeed asking what others are snacking on or what they had for lunch. I don't need to go creep in their diaries for that.

I keep mine closed because 1. I'm bad at logging on the computer (I like writing things down on a piece of paper) 2. It's none of your business. I have people on my list that think eating over 2000 calories is ridiculous for weight loss and I've deleted people when I did have it open when they would say "Oh...that's okay. Tomorrow will be better." Um...no...I ate 2600 calories on purpose because I burned over 3000 that day. Get a grip.

So I put it on private. I don't need someone telling me that I'm eating too much or that they could NEVER fit in over 2000 calories a day let alone 2600 on some days.

I found it too time consuming to look at my friend's diaries, so I closed mine so they would not feel that they had to comment on it! It was actually pretty boring anyway, cause I tend to eat the same things for breakfast and lunch most days!

I also know if I have eaten too many carbs or have had too much sodium, so I really don't need anyone to point that out to me!

The only time I feel the inclination to look at a food diary is if someone posts a question that may be related to either the number of calories they're consuming or the macros.

I had an online discussion with several MFP friends. We all felt that we didn't have time to comment on every friend's diary, but we felt vaguely guilty because they were always commenting on ours. It's simpler just to keep it closed.

I don't want others' opinions on what I eat, how much of it I eat, or how much I eat or don't eat in general. I'm not here for a stranger's opinion on what I put in my mouth. If I want to know something I will ask someone but otherwise I don't need anyone bothering me when the bottom line is I'm making progress and I'm educated enough to know when I've screwed up and how to fix it without another mouth flapping.

I keep my diary closed because I want to be completely honest about what I'm eating. If I think someone may look at it, i'd be tempted to leave out the occasional ugly food choices and the frequent odd food pairings. (Pickles and hot tea for a snack? Yes. I'll admit it. The pantry was running low). My main goal is to stick with the calorie guidelines. That's what I want support with. I don't want comments or advice on macros. If I ever do, I'll open my diary.