cheating and in-love, mutually exclusive or no?
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People get SEX and LOVE mixed up! Seperate the two and you have no problem.
I've loved few, but had sex with many.0 -
Absolutely everything she said.If you are in a committed relationship with someone, and you really love them, you should have enough respect for them to be clear about your needs and desires. If you can't handle monogamy, then the other person should know that going in so he/she can decide if this is something they can or cannot live with. You should respect whatever their decision is.
There's really no excuse for cheating. It's a betrayal of trust more than anything, and for me, it's a stab in the back. The damage is not the physical act, but the lying and the deceit.
I have never cheated, but I've been cheated on, and it's incredibly painful.0 -
If its truly love then you wouldn't disrespect them by cheating on them. Period.0
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People get SEX and LOVE mixed up! Seperate the two and you have no problem.
I've loved few, but had sex with many.
That's fine as long as it's clear with your partner in advance. Don't commit yourself to someone if you can't be with just them.0 -
If you are IN LOVE, then you wouldnt feel the need to cheat. I guess it depends on your situation and if you are truly happy with your man.
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That was the first post by that dude that I read. I was thinking, "that dude seems seriously thoughtful", until I saw that the cleverness had been met with incredulity. Now I'm confused.
A seriously thoughtful post from you?? This changes my view on you... I'm so confused.This whole "I love you, I'm just not "in love" with you craze has got to go. Romance novels and romcoms have ruined our minds to think that relationships are supposed to stay like they are in the beginning. Yeah, righ. Quit being tween girls and realize that relationships are work and passion ebs and flows through out a relationship. Any real relationship between two people that last any consider amount of time is going to have days, weeks, and months where you actually think about smothering the other person with a pillow, let alone cheating. The key is working through those times. If being "in love" is the barometer in which you gauge how your relationship is going, be prepared to go through many.0 -
Ok, what about this situation. I have a friend that is bi and is happily married. She has been with a woman outside of her marriage, with her husband's consent. Is this cheating, or just filling a need that the opposite gender can't fill? (no this isn't me, it is an actual friend). Those of you that are going to give me the "homosexuality" is wrong speech, please don't respond...I really want a thought out answer, because I don't know how I feel about this myself.
I would have to say yes it's still cheating. Cheating with consent is still cheating. If a person wants to lower their standards based on what they want at the time, then they are the sole beneficiaries of the choices they make.
You would be wrong. Because you can't cheat on someone who knows exactly what you're doing and accepts it.
If I say you can have my candy bar, you can have it. It isn't stealing.
If I don't think you should be offering your candy bar because I feel it's wrong, for whatever reason, whether it be free or not, i'm still not gonna take it. So I feel it would be cheating still. Although either of the participants feel that way in the case mentioned.0 -
Is it cheating if she hooks you up with her divorced friends?0
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Sure you can. Doesn't say much for your commitment and character, though.
Amen. There is a reason they are called "wedding vows" and your word is your bond. In my world, break your word, you are worthless.0 -
Sure you can. Doesn't say much for your commitment and character, though.
I like this. ^^^
As for the word love and cheating, it don't mix in my opinion. I think someone could be in lust with someone for years, and decide one day they get sick and tired of it. I've been with my wife for 10 years. Sure, she can be a pain in the *kitten* and drives me insane sometimes. And sure ladies out there try their luck, but I don't persue anything like that cuz I don't want to casue a world of hurt like that. Monogamy is not stupid. I would not like my wife whoring around if I don't do it. If you and your other swing, enjoy life.
PS- I also hope this doesn't turn into another Evolution vs Creationsim debate.0 -
I have one for you?? What if you found out your husband was seeing another woman the first two years of your relationship (not married yet), I'm talking when you weren't there she was and he was duplicating the same romantic stuff he did for you for her. Saying the same things....I'm talking exact same things! She knows theres another woman, his friends know about both, but you are completely oblivios and falling in love with this man because you find him to be one of the most loyal, honest, romantic man you've known! Then when you get a idea he lies right to your face and tells you they are just friends and she lives no where near him, you believe him and get married a couple years later to find out the truth and that there were many explicit online flirting sessions with her and others??? They supposedly stopped once he popped the question....but do you believe him?? And how would you feel about him, learning that the reasons you fell in love with him weren't actually who he is?? It happened years ago...so do you forget about it and move on?? Do you still remember the romantic times as special now knowing they weren't just for you?? Do you think he has any respect for you??
Whewww glad to get that off my chest LOL!!0 -
I have been cheated on by my now ex boyfriend that said he loved me but did it because he was mad at me. In the end when we realized that we really loved one another and couldn't be with other people the girl that he cheated on me with got pregnant. Then all of the sudden I was the bad guy and it was my fault that he got her pregnant. Throughout over half of the other girls pregnancy he fooled with my mind, snuck text messages and everything to tell me how much he still loved me behind her back and now he is with her. We haven't spoke in over a year and I am the most hated person on earth to them.
The funny thing is that when I ran into them for the first time since we broke up he looked at me like I was a ghost from the past and he wanted to cry. So to answer your question, I do believe that you can love two people at once and I do believe that you can cheat if you are in love. It just depends on how low the person goes and how selfish they are I guess.0 -
In theory, having a sense of "morality" (for this time and this society) and love towards my partner tells me that cheating is wrong.
However, the relationship between sexual desire, passionate/romantic love, and companion/comfort love is not an easy one.
Is sex ever just sex?0 -
People cheat for such a variety of reasons. Yes. You can totally cheat on someone you love. Sometimes, you're just being too selfish to see that what you're doing is wrong. I don't think you can speak for anyone else, and I've never understood the social stigma on sex outside of a marriage. A couple can be perfectly happy if they both agree on boundaries.0
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This whole "I love you, I'm just not "in love" with you craze has got to go. Romance novels and romcoms have ruined our minds to think that relationships are supposed to stay like they are in the beginning. Yeah, righ. Quit being tween girls and realize that relationships are work and passion ebs and flows through out a relationship. Any real relationship between two people that last any consider amount of time is going to have days, weeks, and months where you actually think about smothering the other person with a pillow, let alone cheating. The key is working through those times. If being "in love" is the barometer in which you gauge how your relationship is going, be prepared to go through many.
Completely agree :drinker:0 -
In theory, having a sense of "morality" (for this time and this society) and love towards my partner tells me that cheating is wrong.
However, the relationship between sexual desire, passionate/romantic love, and companion/comfort love is not an easy one.
Is sex ever just sex?
In my experiences SEX was just that. When i met my wife, outside of the lifestyle, I fell totally and was faithful to her throughout our marriage, shedid not approve of that so I respected her wishes, my wishes didn't matter......0 -
This whole "I love you, I'm just not "in love" with you craze has got to go. Romance novels and romcoms have ruined our minds to think that relationships are supposed to stay like they are in the beginning. Yeah, righ. Quit being tween girls and realize that relationships are work and passion ebs and flows through out a relationship. Any real relationship between two people that last any consider amount of time is going to have days, weeks, and months where you actually think about smothering the other person with a pillow, let alone cheating. The key is working through those times. If being "in love" is the barometer in which you gauge how your relationship is going, be prepared to go through many.
What they really mean is, "I like spending time with you, but I don't want to hump you anymore." True story.0 -
People cheat for such a variety of reasons. Yes. You can totally cheat on someone you love. Sometimes, you're just being too selfish to see that what you're doing is wrong. I don't think you can speak for anyone else, and I've never understood the social stigma on sex outside of a marriage. A couple can be perfectly happy if they both agree on boundaries.
This x10000 -
If you cheated on someone you love you never loved them at all. Being faithful isn't that hard to do.0
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I think you can. It's possible to truly love more than one person. It's also possible to love one person, but find some kind of animal desire with another. Our system of monogamy is silly. I don't think it truly reflecst actual human behavior, for the most part. If we would open up more about this, I think people in general would be happier. If we viewed each other as sexual beings with the possibility that an encounter does not mean betrayal and mistrust, then it would be a happier world overall. And, I really don't think "cheating" would increase at all. I know people in open relationships and they hardly ever have encounters outside their relationship. Almost never, to be honest. So, I really don't think it's a big deal.
After saying all that, I don't know if I could handle knowing my girl is out boinking some dude. So, I'm part of the problem I speak of. Lol. But, I recognize it.
^^^This !!0 -
@NYCDutchess i agree with you 100% u can not be in love with someone and cheat, because when you in love you don't want no one else but that person on the side of you, and no matter what that person always on your mind, and no matter what any man/woman try to do or say you can not cheat.0
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Sure you can. Doesn't say much for your commitment and character, though.
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I believe it's possible...for one reason.
I'm 150% positive that my ex still loves me. It's in how she acts (both positives and negatives), the things she says, the things she does. I know her very, very well.
SHE cheated on me (multiple times actually), left me a year ago, lives with another guy, the list goes on.
So yes, I believe that a person can cheat and still love the person they cheated on.
Now, if you ask me if I could?
Umm, Hell no.0 -
No, I couldn't cheat on my bf. I know it would hurt him. I love him that much.0
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All interesting responses, but lets pose a scenario
Guy gets in accident and is paralyzed from neck down.
Wife is fully devoted to him, loves him, prays for him, waits on him hand n foot....
And she truly, truly loves him....
But she wants to get physical attention and has a one night stamd, no emotions just physical....
Isnt that cheating n being IN love?
It is cheating and I see if you cheat with someone else you don't really love the person you are supposedly IN love with. There are toys to make this needy wife with a paralyzed husband happy0 -
Yes you can.0
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You are not in love if you cheat on him/her. I speak from experience. The feeling you have for them is not love. Its the next best thing. You simply have so much feelings for this person but yet cheating on them when you know it will hurt them is not love. Love is when you do all you can to keep this person happy. That means being loyal, being able to not give in to selfish acts that you know will only benefit for yourself. Being in love, you want to share your happiness with them and vice versa.
If your not ready to just be with one person, talk with your other half. See where that goes. Maybe there are certain fantasies you guys can full fill together without the need of going outside the relationship. If that doesn't work, your either not ready to love someone or maybe you should look up being poly-amorous.0 -
I think it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. Ideally, if you love someone and found yourself interested in someone else as well, instead of cheating and betraying your partner's trust, you would talk to them about it. However, our societal norms are for couples NOT to discuss these things (which really isn't healthy), so many people feel like their only options are to suppress their feelings or to cheat. Either one of those can severely damage a relationship.0
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for me it comes down to this .. I love you I love you I LOVE YOU.
if they cheat.. I bolt..
if they show me signs I DODGE,..
my first husband and I could talk about anything.. lovers . whatever.. but* we had to end the marriage due to something on his part ..
my current husband is younger ...I think I give him passes where he shouldn't have any.
I love him but at the end of the day
does he love me..........?
this is when cheating happens I am .. super loyal.
but I need to know that I am loved .. sex is not important .. I need to know I am the one you want , need cherish .. if that isn't there,.... I am lost .. and I am searching for the one.
I am still exclusive.0 -
baby u mus be awful youngI think if you are truly and completely in love then there is no way or reason you would cheat. I feel that if you cheat, you want to be with the other person more than the one you are with.....so just end it. Why cheat and break someones heart and make a fool out of them. Sure you can love more than one person but I dont think you can be "in love" with more than one person. Staying faithful is a choice and im sure a challenge to many people but nobody said relationships are easy. For better or worse doesnt mean...or until something hotter or more attractive comes along.0
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