Newbies, beware.
Replies
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Not very nice though.
The very first reply was spot on. Then there was a joke. Then there was another decent reply. Then a few more replies to clarify that the joke was a joke.
So, all in all, a simple question, some straightforward answers, a joke, and then a bit of extra noise.
If only every thread was that clean and efficient.
If you want unconditional niceness, make some friends here with like-minded folks. If you want answers, do some research or ask the forum. Usually you will get some factual answers mixed in with tons of noise and misinformation.
Ask a question that's been asked thousands of times before, and you will likely get ridiculed. Which is fair in my opinion. It's common etiquette on internet forums to search before posting.
Yes ok, but having never done this sort of thing before, how was I to know those things? I get it, i just didn't appreciate the "joke".
One time when I was a young kid, my mom allowed me to wander off all by myself in the shopping mall. I walked into a store, where a salesperson greeted me cheerily, "Hi! How are you today?". I was put off by this. I wondered, who the hell is this person that I don't know and why are they talking to me. I eventually found out, little shops in the shopping mall have salespeople, and they act very friendly to people who walk in; it's their job.
Now, on the other hand, this is the internet. And it has its own set of conventions and behaviors.
Welcome to the internet.
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Hi, I saw your post and also the responses you got. I think you may have been too sensitive. I don't think the posters meant to be rude. One poster shared where you could find the answers and the other with the cheeseburger comment was trying to be funny.
That's the disadvantage with posts like this, you don't see the persons face, inflection or smile.
I do believe you will get the help you need here. Stick around for a time and see what happens.
Good luck on your goals
You may be right, but it upset me nonetheless. I am a bit fragile to be honest, and I thought it was ok on here to ask for other users opinions. Thank you for your kind words though.
I don't mean to sound mean spirited, and I truly mean what I am saying in a kind way: If you are that "fragile" you may want to stay away from the forums altogether. People joke, people are sarcastic-if it's going to throw you into a tizzy and cause you to post angry, attention seeking threads, you may just want to avoid it. :flowerforyou:0 -
As a newbie my advice to you is to not waste your time focusing on a comment here and there that may bother you. There will always be a wide variety of responses because there are so many different personalities here.
Its much better to read what people write and take the suggestions you like or benefit you, and ignore anything else. Truth is among all the different types of responses you will come out with friends you may not have had before.
I do think the person was joking, but if you think it was rude thats your right, but there are going to be many many many just like it.
Good luck to you.0 -
You may be right, but it upset me nonetheless. I am a bit fragile to be honest, and I thought it was ok on here to ask for other users opinions. Thank you for your kind words though.
It is perfectly okay to ask questions here, we all do from time to time. Keep doing so, how else are you going to learn? I read your other post and am really unable to see any real rudeness. I agree, you may have overreacted a bit; even posting this thread could be considered an overreaction.
May I suggest you have a cheeseburger, I saw you had written that you'd never eaten one. In my professional opinion, that is a problem. In the spirit of welcoming and good cheer, I present you with a REALLY good one. Bon Apetit!
Your post made me smile through my tears! Thank you! But I'm too English, I don't do cheeseburgers!!0 -
Actually, Newbies, the forums are awesome fun. Seriously. And there are some fantastic, helpful, smart and informed people out there. People tend to get "shot down' when they're promoting unhealthy behavior or spreading common diet myths. Sometimes people do this shooting down gently, sometimes not so gently, but it's usually done with the desire to help others. Unhealthy behaviors (like eating too few calories) and myths can jeopardize another's health or ability to succeed with their diet.
The waters can get a bit choppy. I'll freely admit to that. That's the nature of any forum on the internet. But I hope you'll put on a brave face and come and 'play'. Really, it is fun and rewarding.... discussion and debate is great way of expanding your mind and learning new things.
Best wishes, newbies!
This is so true, don't be put off by what anyone says, there is so much support and information on this site and when in the forums try not to take anything personally and just look for the gold in amongst the dross. Stick around and you will find some amazing friends to help you on your journey. .
Good luck
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I'm going to side with Taso42. The first answer you received was straight forward. A lot of people have asked this question, the person who suggested the search function was being awesome to you! Instead of [MAYBE] giving you wrong/bad advice this person was saying here, if you do A, you will get B & C & D & E & F & G etc.
Ok, the cheeseburger one might not have been funny to you, but it was just a joke. Some are funny others aren't. Most here are really great people, some are tools. Sounds just like real life.0 -
I actually do believe that the OP was very poorly treated. I responded to her original thread. Not everyone is obnoxious on MFP...as a rule, I usually ask my friends a question as the forum people are too preoccupied about debating fruit as sex toys etc to treat other people with dignity0
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From what I can see, you had a couple of people try to help, and one person trying to be funny - and, yeah.. They weren't funny.. But your reaction was hypersensitive. Why would you let a silly comment send you into such a spin. Moreso since you have now started a pretty childish thread as a consequence. These forums reflect real life. You will like some people, you will like others less. You will receive some good advice, and some people will say things you perceive as objectionable. Would you support your children if, in the event that they have ross words with another child saying "stay out of the schoolyard. Kids are nasty"
This here. Fo' sho. OP, you actually come across as looking for a fight rather than the other way around. They were trying to make you laugh. How dare they!
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Not very nice though.
The very first reply was spot on. Then there was a joke. Then there was another decent reply. Then a few more replies to clarify that the joke was a joke.
So, all in all, a simple question, some straightforward answers, a joke, and then a bit of extra noise.
If only every thread was that clean and efficient.
If you want unconditional niceness, make some friends here with like-minded folks. If you want answers, do some research or ask the forum. Usually you will get some factual answers mixed in with tons of noise and misinformation.
Ask a question that's been asked thousands of times before, and you will likely get ridiculed. Which is fair in my opinion. It's common etiquette on internet forums to search before posting.
Yes ok, but having never done this sort of thing before, how was I to know those things? I get it, i just didn't appreciate the "joke".
One time when I was a young kid, my mom allowed me to wander off all by myself in the shopping mall. I walked into a store, where a salesperson greeted me cheerily, "Hi! How are you today?". I was put off by this. I wondered, who the hell is this person that I don't know and why are they talking to me. I eventually found out, little shops in the shopping mall have salespeople, and they act very friendly to people who walk in; it's their job.
Now, on the other hand, this is the internet. And it has its own set of conventions and behaviors.
Welcome to the internet.
Off topic, but I'm totally crushing on you right now!0 -
EVERYBODY. i read the thread. this place is for support. i dont think that it was meant rude in any way.
please, if you dont agree with the comment, ignore it.0 -
I am a newby here also (This is actually my first post), but you can go to meetup.com, do a search for fitness, exercise, whatever near you zip code, and find groups that may offer some support and help for you.0
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You may be right, but it upset me nonetheless. I am a bit fragile to be honest, and I thought it was ok on here to ask for other users opinions. Thank you for your kind words though.
It is perfectly okay to ask questions here, we all do from time to time. Keep doing so, how else are you going to learn? I read your other post and am really unable to see any real rudeness. I agree, you may have overreacted a bit; even posting this thread could be considered an overreaction.
May I suggest you have a cheeseburger, I saw you had written that you'd never eaten one. In my professional opinion, that is a problem. In the spirit of welcoming and good cheer, I present you with a REALLY good one. Bon Apetit!
Your post made me smile through my tears! Thank you! But I'm too English, I don't do cheeseburgers!!
Sweetie you can never be too English. I am from the UK (Bath) welcome to MFP I don't do cheesburgers either but only because I live miles away from the nearest McDonalds.0 -
I have found this to be the case on most Weight Loss/Improvement sights. Keep in mind that there will always be people who delight at bringing you down and making you feel bad about yourself. Remember, calorie counts include what you worked off in a workout. I don't eat for food. You need to burn more than need to lose weight. I eat the recommended daily amount and then I work out. What I burned I don't consume back. I won't be guilted into eating my fitness routine. I do that for me. Just ignore the critics and enjoy your success and progress. You aren't here for them, you are here for YOU. That is the only person on here you should be concerned about.
I admire you a lot. Very brave to stick to your guns like that and be so confident. Listen to your gut, educate yourself but in the end do what is best for YOU. and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone on the internet.
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i think you have the right to be as sensitive as you are
and yes it stings
not everyone can get along
just don't let it drag you down0 -
I have to agree that many of the posters on this site are downright rude and quite frankly many of the responses to your question WERE rude.
Sarcasm, last I checked, was something smart-*kitten* teenagers applied heavily to piss adults off. These days it's something 'cool' adults use to make fun of everyone and make their friends congratulate them.
Anyway, just ignore the immature folks that run around these forums and find a core group of friends who have like-minded ambitions and attitudes to your own. Otherwise the forums will drive you crazy. 0 -
Maybe we all grow a thicker skin and care less about what other people say? I understand being sensitive, I'm pretty sensitive myself but you can't let a couple of rude responses upset you. You aren't going to get only responses that you like to everything you say. If you disagree with what was said or how it was said just brush it off.0
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Some people on here think they are stand-up comedians. In reality, they are rarely funny. Unfortunately, the lame joke told on your thread was one of the first few responses. There's also a bit of Catch-22. It's true that you would be better off acquiring like-minded friends that you could ask for advice, but just about the only way to acquire said friends is to comment on the forums and that means dealing with the rabble.0
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same thing happened to me infact it was like being bullied, now I NEVER ASK A QUESTION IN THE FORUMS, I only ask on my own wall0
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You do have the right to be as sensitive as you want, but starting another thread about how "ill treated" you were with one joke just makes you look like a whiny pseudo adult looking for a basketful of "there, there poor baby"s.
Congratulations.0 -
I'm new, & frankly, I don't think it's helpful to post a topic telling others not to ask for help. I've found most folks here to be very supportive & I'm enough of a grown up to ignore the one who aren't. I read the thread, & I'll give you that some responses weren't full of sunshine & rainbows. So what? Some were very polite & helpful. Try to focus on the good & ignore the bad. Starting another conversation about it just to complain that someone was mean to you does no one any good. I'm sure you didn't start this thread as a genuine warning, the purpose seems to be for tattle-telling. I tell little kids that no one likes a tattle tale, adults should already know better.0
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And you fell right into her trap by responding.You do have the right to be as sensitive as you want, but starting another thread about how "ill treated" you were with one joke just makes you look like a whiny pseudo adult looking for a basketful of "there, there poor baby"s.
Congratulations.0 -
I actually do believe that the OP was very poorly treated. I responded to her original thread. Not everyone is obnoxious on MFP...as a rule, I usually ask my friends a question as the forum people are too preoccupied about debating fruit as sex toys etc to treat other people with dignity
The OP was not poorly treated in the other thread.
JOKE noun, verb, joked, jok·ing.
noun
1. something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.
2. something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.
3. a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke.
4. something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class.
5. practical joke.
verb (used without object)
6. to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us.
7. to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn't really mean it, he was only joking.0 -
Oh, and don't log cleaning, no matter how vigorous. Because apparently only hard cardio or weight training is an acceptable method of burning calories.
I log cleaning and bathing my toddlers. Anyone that thinks my household chores don't count as burning calories, is welcome to come over and give it a whirl! And anyone that believes that I should be doing cardio and weight training more, is welcome to teach 150 middle school students for me on Monday and then pay for a sitter so they can go to the gym/on a run.
Haters are going to hate! I just try to surround myself with supportive and logically-minded people. Even my own husband tries to give me a hard time about not hitting the gym often enough, but I'm losing weight and toning up- so i just ignore him!
Good Luck!0 -
I am new here also, but I read your question and just saw something about this on The Biggest Loser, either Bob or Jillian. What they said is that no matter how many crunches you do, the muscle is what is getting worked, and the muscle is behind the layer of abdominal fat. So, they suggested that you had to change your diet, and lose the fat percentage, so that the toned muscle shows and the fat s then gone. Basically, it meant to cut your calories, but not below 1200 per day, and increase your exercise. 0
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the forums and be great tool and no so great! the first thing I do when I have a question is when you go to the message boards is hit the search button and type in part of your question or all of it and see what already comes up in the forums. Mainly with being new or not ussing the forums very often they are a great way to see if something has already been posted about whatever subject you are wondering about! Good luck!!0
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Thank you to all who have offered support. You have no idea how much I appreciate it! I am open to everyone's viewpoints, but I stand by my initial response that there is no need for cruel sarcasm. I will say no more on the subject! :flowerforyou:0
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I think this is THE response the OP wanted/needed. Thanx!I am new here also, but I read your question and just saw something about this on The Biggest Loser, either Bob or Jillian. What they said is that no matter how many crunches you do, the muscle is what is getting worked, and the muscle is behind the layer of abdominal fat. So, they suggested that you had to change your diet, and lose the fat percentage, so that the toned muscle shows and the fat s then gone. Basically, it meant to cut your calories, but not below 1200 per day, and increase your exercise.0 -
If people would CHOOSE to be kinder than necessary when replying to threads (any threads, newbie, veterans, a question asked for the first time, a question asked for the millionth time....) then the drama would stop. Period.
But getting nasty, vile and rude TROLLS to stop "joking" at other people's expenses is like trying to move a mountain with a teaspoon: You could work at it your whole life and never make a dent.
Here are two quotes to keep in mind when bothering to reply to a thread you've opened....
"Always be a little kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. ~T.H. Thompson and John Watson
"Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it." ~Author Unknown
(I take the last one to mean, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all... but this quote says it so much more elegantly!)
And for the people defending the way the OP was treated in her last thread ....
From the Urban Dictionary...
1. Trolling
Trolling is trying to get a rise out of someone. Forcing them to respond to you, either through wise-crackery, posting incorrect information, asking blatantly stupid questions, or other foolishness.
I believe the majority of the responses to her perfectly reasonable question fall into the realm of trolling.
I just call 'em like I see 'em.0 -
im newb here too, im sorry that happened0
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And you fell right into her trap by responding.You do have the right to be as sensitive as you want, but starting another thread about how "ill treated" you were with one joke just makes you look like a whiny pseudo adult looking for a basketful of "there, there poor baby"s.
Congratulations.
I thought I heard Admiral Akbar's voice... [/Star Wars]0
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