why do women seem to want WHO they can't have?
love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
Posts: 6,897 Member
in Chit-Chat
So from MY PERSPECTIVE it seems that women always seem to want the man who's taken. All of a sudden the once invisible guy has a girlfriend and then he's hotsh!t.
What's the deal? I mean from an evolutionary perspective it makes sense (If another woman is with him then maybe she has access to information regarding his ability to provide for his future offspring so you're more likely to want to mate with him as well). But damn aren't we EVOLVED?
One of my male friends jokes (but not really joking at all) that the best way to pick up a girl at a bar or someplace like that is to arrive with a female. It instantly draws more attention to him I guess.
Now don't get me wrong...I'm not saying there aren't men who do the same thing and go after taken women BUT I think it's more prevalent in women FROM WHAT I'VE OBSERVED. I've never seen men trying to go after their best friend's GF but I have seen women do it! In fact, 2 of my closest friends SCREWED one of our other best friend's now husband. True story and quite sad that she still married him KNOWING what he did.
Isn't there a CODE FOR WOMEN? It seems that guys are more likely to back off when a girl is taken and respect the other guy in that way. Maybe it's just me though.
What are your thoughts?
What's the deal? I mean from an evolutionary perspective it makes sense (If another woman is with him then maybe she has access to information regarding his ability to provide for his future offspring so you're more likely to want to mate with him as well). But damn aren't we EVOLVED?
One of my male friends jokes (but not really joking at all) that the best way to pick up a girl at a bar or someplace like that is to arrive with a female. It instantly draws more attention to him I guess.
Now don't get me wrong...I'm not saying there aren't men who do the same thing and go after taken women BUT I think it's more prevalent in women FROM WHAT I'VE OBSERVED. I've never seen men trying to go after their best friend's GF but I have seen women do it! In fact, 2 of my closest friends SCREWED one of our other best friend's now husband. True story and quite sad that she still married him KNOWING what he did.
Isn't there a CODE FOR WOMEN? It seems that guys are more likely to back off when a girl is taken and respect the other guy in that way. Maybe it's just me though.
What are your thoughts?
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Replies
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Women, for the majority, seem more fond of Drama.0
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Sorry if that's your experience, but both genders are perfectly capable of being ****ty people.0
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I was like that when I was younger.... and before finding the true love! Now... I don't care, I'm happier having what I have
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Nope...it works both way. This guy I met at college pursued me for like a year, and slowly I developed feelings for him. However, I was just too young for him and very inexperienced with dating, so I pushed him away. He has a girlfriend now, but every few months or so he tries to "reconnect" with me and even asked me to be with him or come visit. Because I know he has a girlfriend, I will never go there with him. And I see it totally opposite. I have had guys hit on me when they had girlfriends. Some women will do it, but 'I see it more with men than anything else. In general, people may subconsciously want what they can't have.0
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Sorry if that's your experience, but both genders are perfectly capable of being ****ty people.
^Agree!
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Maybe that's been your experience, but that's not always the case. Speaking from an evolutionary perspective, if a man has solidified a mate, that means he's more successful at reproduction and providing for a family. These are still hardwired into our DNA, despite our evolution. Remember that song "No Scrubs".... yeah, that's a modern-day expression of the fact that females seek a mate with resources.
I, personally, don't find men other than my husband appealing, regardless of their relationship status. I mean, sure, I can appreciate a handsome guy or a sexy actor, but I don't pursue anyone.
And, for some people, male or female, the thrill of the chase and "catching" someone and pulling them away from their current mate might be a motivator.0 -
We really don't need yet another post by a woman (or anyone else for that matter) putting women as a group down by insisting that the majority of women fall into some specific pattern of behavior.
We all need to stop degrading women and men. We need to stop stereotyping. Seriously.
I don't want WHO I can't have. I don't know many women or men who do. Are there some out there with a penchant for chasing the taken man/woman? Sure. You'll find them. But I seriously doubt they're more prevalent in one sex vs. another.0 -
It works both ways. People just always want what seems unattainable.0
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Seriously!!! Some women see it as a challenge to be able to get guys that have girlfriends. These are the type of women that add the "B" in "itch"!!0
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It's my main mission in life to bang all your husbands and boyfriends.0
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It seems that guys are more likely to back off when a girl is taken and respect the other guy in that way. Maybe it's just me though.
Uhh sorry but I don't think that is true. I experience it many times when I was single, I was literally "invisible" & no one seems interested to even approach me but now that I have a boyfriend all of a sudden, guys appear from nowhere & start to flirt with me. They even say things to me like "As long as you're still not married, there is still a chance". So I guess its just human nature to want the things in life that we know we can't have.0 -
I do not hunt on someone else field but then again I want nothing to do with a guy that would leave his SO for me...... he can't be trusted0
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agreed!Seriously!!! Some women see it as a challenge to be able to get guys that have girlfriends. These are the type of women that add the "B" in "itch"!!0 -
We really don't need yet another post by a woman (or anyone else for that matter) putting women as a group down by insisting that the majority of women fall into some specific pattern of behavior.
We all need to stop degrading women and men. We need to stop stereotyping. Seriously.
I don't want WHO I can't have. I don't know many women or men who do. Are there some out there with a penchant for chasing the taken man/woman? Sure. You'll find them. But I seriously doubt they're more prevalent in one sex vs. another.
well that is YOUR opinion and you're entitled to it. if you don't like the thread then stay away from it.0 -
I think some of it may have to do with a comfort level. I don't know about how this applies to just meeting someone in bars, but speaking about long-term friendships, it seems that once the guy is taken (we'll go with this scenario, but it's applicable in the reverse, I'm sure), they tend to relax around females and spend less time "trying to impress" because they already have someone (who they DID spend their time on impressing). They also at this point, don't tend to be so much bothered with women trying to impress them. Women can sense this and once the guy allows himself to be himself and stops trying to make her into something that she's not, then the super-attraction starts.
At least that's been my experience with it.0 -
Sorry if that's your experience, but both genders are perfectly capable of being ****ty people.
^Agree!
i agree that both do sh!tty things from time to time--but this ONE BEHAVIOR seems TO ME to be more prevalent in women than men. I've never seen men trying to go after their best friend's GF but I have seen women do it!0 -
It seems that guys are more likely to back off when a girl is taken and respect the other guy in that way. Maybe it's just me though.
Uhh sorry but I don't think that is true. I experience it many times when I was single, I was literally "invisible" & no one seems interested to even approach me but now that I have a boyfriend all of a sudden, guys appear from nowhere & start to flirt with me. I guess its just human nature that we all want the things that we know we can't have.
^^ This! I've even lied to men about being in a relationship, and many do not care..There are women who don't care about relationship status, but I would say it works both ways def.0 -
Sorry if that's your experience, but both genders are perfectly capable of being ****ty people.
^Agree!
i agree that both do sh!tty things from time to time--but this ONE BEHAVIOR seems TO ME to be more prevalent in women than men. I've never seen men trying to go after their best friend's GF but I have seen women do it!
Guess what my current bf is the ex-friend of my ex-bf (they're enemies now but our relationship has nothing to do with that, were both serious) & we met while I was still with my ex & he started to flirt to me also although the reason for the break-up with my ex has nothing to do with him (my now bf). Also I had one ex-bf who was a friend of an ex too. So you see it works both ways, not just for women. Its just that we are more vocal & emotional than men that's why you noticed this being more prevalent to women.0 -
I think the OP is taking a small sample size and making a generalization...No bueno, IMO!0
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We really don't need yet another post by a woman (or anyone else for that matter) putting women as a group down by insisting that the majority of women fall into some specific pattern of behavior.
We all need to stop degrading women and men. We need to stop stereotyping. Seriously.
I don't want WHO I can't have. I don't know many women or men who do. Are there some out there with a penchant for chasing the taken man/woman? Sure. You'll find them. But I seriously doubt they're more prevalent in one sex vs. another.
Agreed.
I don't know any women who like taken men nor have any made attempts at my husband.0 -
I think the OP is taking a small sample size and making a generalization...No bueno, IMO!
maybe so but i do remember quite clearly that i prefaced it with MY OPINION, MY OBSERVATION, ETC!0 -
Maturity. Pure and simple. Maturity, either you have it, or you don't. BOTH sides.0
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I think the OP is taking a small sample size and making a generalization...No bueno, IMO!
maybe so but i do remember quite clearly that i prefaced it with MY OPINION, MY OBSERVATION, ETC!
You seem angry. Did someone steal your man? Because it's all the woman's fault, he clearly had nothing to do with it.0 -
We really don't need yet another post by a woman (or anyone else for that matter) putting women as a group down by insisting that the majority of women fall into some specific pattern of behavior.
We all need to stop degrading women and men. We need to stop stereotyping. Seriously.
I don't want WHO I can't have. I don't know many women or men who do. Are there some out there with a penchant for chasing the taken man/woman? Sure. You'll find them. But I seriously doubt they're more prevalent in one sex vs. another.
well that is YOUR opinion and you're entitled to it. if you don't like the thread then stay away from it.
Yes, it is my opinion, and yes I am entitled to it. But I will not stay away from a thread trash-talking a gender. We have a serious problem in society. Instead of seeing each other as individuals, we group them into categories and we assume that that individual shares all of those qualities simply because they fit that category based on a few outward characteristics. Because we do this, we still have serious problems with racism, sexism, bigotry, and so on.
YOU, a woman, are propagating a negative view of woman as a whole simply because you've encountered a few individuals who engage in behavior that you don't like.
As another woman, I find this sad, frustrating, and it makes me angry. I am sick and tired of being judged for the "sins" of others. I am a woman. I am not a catty woman. I am not a "*****" that seeks another's man. I am not drama loving or overly emotional. My hormones don't control me. My ovaries, uterus, and vagina are not me.0 -
because women in general (not all but A LOT ) are a bunch of backstabing dirty over competive hookers0
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It's not a matter of what you alone have seen. Your assumption that women are the only people who can be like that is kind of sad and sickening to read.Sorry if that's your experience, but both genders are perfectly capable of being ****ty people.
^Agree!
i agree that both do sh!tty things from time to time--but this ONE BEHAVIOR seems TO ME to be more prevalent in women than men. I've never seen men trying to go after their best friend's GF but I have seen women do it!0 -
It's not a matter of what you alone have seen. Your assumption that women are the only people who can be like that is kind of sad and sickening to read.Sorry if that's your experience, but both genders are perfectly capable of being ****ty people.
^Agree!
i agree that both do sh!tty things from time to time--but this ONE BEHAVIOR seems TO ME to be more prevalent in women than men. I've never seen men trying to go after their best friend's GF but I have seen women do it!
you're "putting words in my mouth" as they say--I never said women are the "only people who can be like that"--i said it appears "more prevalent" among women. get your facts straight.0 -
I think the OP is taking a small sample size and making a generalization...No bueno, IMO!
maybe so but i do remember quite clearly that i prefaced it with MY OPINION, MY OBSERVATION, ETC!
You seem angry. Did someone steal your man? Because it's all the woman's fault, he clearly had nothing to do with it.
no, never actually. Just got talking with a friend about how women are always all up on him when they know he's taken.0 -
We really don't need yet another post by a woman (or anyone else for that matter) putting women as a group down by insisting that the majority of women fall into some specific pattern of behavior.
We all need to stop degrading women and men. We need to stop stereotyping. Seriously.
I don't want WHO I can't have. I don't know many women or men who do. Are there some out there with a penchant for chasing the taken man/woman? Sure. You'll find them. But I seriously doubt they're more prevalent in one sex vs. another.
well that is YOUR opinion and you're entitled to it. if you don't like the thread then stay away from it.
Yes, it is my opinion, and yes I am entitled to it. But I will not stay away from a thread trash-talking a gender. We have a serious problem in society. Instead of seeing each other as individuals, we group them into categories and we assume that that individual shares all of those qualities simply because they fit that category based on a few outward characteristics. Because we do this, we still have serious problems with racism, sexism, bigotry, and so on.
YOU, a woman, are propagating a negative view of woman as a whole simply because you've encountered a few individuals who engage in behavior that you don't like.
As another woman, I find this sad, frustrating, and it makes me angry. I am sick and tired of being judged for the "sins" of others. I am a woman. I am not a catty woman. I am not a "*****" that seeks another's man. I am not drama loving or overly emotional. My hormones don't control me. My ovaries, uterus, and vagina are not me.
oddly enough--neither am I. I would never do 1/2 the things that i observe other women doing. Unfortunately, many women are more alike than they are different when it comes to things they'll do for social acceptance or approval by men.0 -
WHOM.
Yet another reason this thread is dumb.0
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