Would you move for love?

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  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
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    I moved when I got pregnant, and we decided to try and make things work. We weren't in love, but I've gone about 1000 miles, and two states so far, and it's been worth it.

    Now, for you, since you sound like you would actually like to try something new, I would say go for the move. You can always move back, if you want, and it's a great thing to move to a new community, and discover something about yourself.

    That being said, I would really try and avoid moving right in when you get there, and making your relationship go on fast-forward. I've had the experience of moving in right away, and the experience of never moving in together at all, and I would DEFINITELY live apart for a good couple of months, just so you have the fun experience of actually dating, and not just the experience of being in a domestic partnership. I mean, domestic partnerships are cool, but having fun dating and spending time together in separate places, and having to plan time together is something that is just.. Nice.

    Good luck!
  • lmclean58
    lmclean58 Posts: 9 Member
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    Like many other posters, I've done it.

    I was older, had one failed marriage (about 9 years previous) and we'd known each other in college and still had one very good friend in common. So I had a safety net. We'll celebrate 20 years married this June. I was 30, moved 800 miles (Seattle to San Francisco) after reconnecting with someone I'd known slightly in college (he is my BF's good friend) Prior to moving down I'd stayed at his apartment for a weekend on my way through SF (guest room) as a casual friend. Flew down a month later for a long weekend and moved down 3 weeks after that. Something just clicked and I knew he was the one. (guess he thought so too).

    My advice:
    1) Housing: find a house of women looking for a housemate. That way you'll have some independence from him, have some built in friends to hang with, and be able to learn a bit about him and yourself - post college.
    2) Don't move in with him. I know I would have at your age, but it's safer for your sanity, personal safety and finances if you have more independence. There's also a lot to be said for living on your own (even with housemates) as an adult. (my first marriage was right out of college and looking back I think I was scared of being on my own).
    3) Think about doing an internship there (depending on your major) It would be an easy way to gain a 2-6 month stay and see if you like the city, him, his friends & parents & ex girlfriends.
    4) don't sell all your stuff and move. Put it in storage (parent's basement) and travel light. Look at this as a chance to try on a potential career/boyfriend/new city.
    5) Birth control/safe sex. Life is much simpler if you don't bring a child into it when you aren't really ready (emotionally, financially, etc). Ditto with safe sex. Get tested and play safe. (I'd suggest abstinence, but that never was really a viable option for me :laugh: )

    Good luck!
  • kriskaryl
    kriskaryl Posts: 120 Member
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    My one regret in life was NOT telling someone I loved, how I felt. I moved away and left him behind. We had strong feelings for each other, but never acted on them or even admitted to having them because we were in other relationships and respected our commitments. Fast-forward around 25 yrs later, thanks to social media...we found each other again. Both of us in committed relationships, not the same people we were with before...and he finally tells me how he felt all those years ago. That he had been looking for me all those years and couldn't stop thinking about me. It was amazing to find out that while I was going through my darkest days in life, in an abusive marriage and contemplating ending my life, someone was out there loving me...We'll never act on our feelings, 1st of all because of our love for our current partners, 2nd because we have a safe distance between us. But he is truly, my dearest friend and I treasure that.

    I say, if you have such strong feelings and there are jobs in NC...I live here on the coast...don't let love pass you by. Don't look back regretting lost love.
  • SweetNaughtyLips
    SweetNaughtyLips Posts: 374 Member
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    :heart: I would move for love :heart:

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  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
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    I dropped out of college, quit my job, and moved 2300 miles away from home to be with the guy I was dating at the time. I was 19. 13.5 years later we're still together and we're married. Would I move for love? Hell yes! It was the best decision I've ever made.
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
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    Do it... You can always move back... Lol
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I did it when I was 22. moved from Seattle to San Fran.

    Didn't know ANYbody, only him. I just dropped everything and left. Didn't have a job set up or anything. I was young and dumb. Him having to support me while I lived with him was hard. Eventually I found a job, but still couldn't make any friends. I was depressed, so I said I wanted to go home, and he came back with me. That pretty much ended everything, well in addition to the fact that he was lazy and immature.

    Anyway, I believe in following your heart, I never really wanted to move to San Fran, I moved so I could say I tried living somewhere else. If you want the experience, then go. If you are at all on the fence, then don't move.
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
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    ~ You only live once ... life is a collection of risks ... when we let fear guide us, later in life we look back and wonder what if ??? I honestly believe that if you jump now .... your young enough to sustain the waves ... don't let opportunities pass you by ... no regrets.

    One day ... you will have to live " life with restrictions " ... and making choices won't be so simple. Do it while your young ... live a little, hell ... live a lot ! Your in the perfect position to experience life ... why not ????

    And really .... if you think about it, your already half way there ... looking to a bunch of strangers to give you the " ok " to move forward ... is like asking a kid if they want candy ! Just do it ! Have fun and learn from whatever experience life throws your way !

    I'd already be packed ... one foot out the door ... and if he is truly the one ... well my friend, that's just a bonus !

    :flowerforyou:
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    If I was going to marry the guy, then yes........
  • Bookchick887
    Bookchick887 Posts: 126 Member
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    I did it, left a good job and good house. We eventually married. I wish he had moved to my town instead while I still had that new love power over him.
    No matter what you do, it will turn out okay, just have a back up plan that you can take care of yourself and be independent if need be.
    Another thought, are you leaving all your friends, family and all that is familiar? It's difficult to only have him as your 'everything'.
  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Research cost of living, job market etc. Do not live with him. Date like normal people. All should be fine.

    ^ I second this advice. You're young. Take your time and enjoy the adventure. If it doesn't work out, go on to the next adventure.

    As to the question, "would you move for love?", it's a little too early in the relationship to decide you're in love. Personally, I told my husband before we married that I wouldn't move north of Austin (TX). After 17 years of marriage, if it were necessary, I would retract that statement, because I would follow him for love's sake.

    God bless you!
  • ElleOQuent
    ElleOQuent Posts: 431 Member
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    Yes, absolutely.

    You have one chance to make life beautiful; go out and create a masterpiece.

    I wish you all the best. :heart:
  • countrydarling1
    countrydarling1 Posts: 386 Member
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    Just make sure you can go HOME if you need to. I moved fro love & now im STUCK in ARKANSAS. Most of its pretty, but i just happened to be stuck ing the ugliest part, with some crazy nlaws near by, who im glad we dont see or talk to. Im a girl who is Missing TEXAS REAL BAD & MISSING FAMILY & FRIENDS. Take the jump, try something new, but put some rainy day money aside so you can run home if needed.
  • erinkeely4
    erinkeely4 Posts: 408 Member
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    Do it!!! Even if the relationship doesn't end up working out, you will grow a lot from the experience! And if it does work out, you'll thank yourself every day for taking the leap :)

    I moved for a long term boyfriend, and I'm really glad I did... because even though we broke up, if I hadn't moved out here I wouldn't have met the man I'm completely and happily in love with now, and have been with for 4 years, and I also wouldn't have started the business that I love and have been doing successfully now for 6 years!
  • CourtneayB2010
    CourtneayB2010 Posts: 25
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    I can totally vouch for charlotte and a situation like this, I do believe in moving for love especially if you have no doubts in your mind at all and is willing to take that step then go with your gut, and on the other hand Charlotte is a HUGE modern city JOBS EVERYWHERE.. its a college town so they cater to new grads and younger graduates in general I used to go to UNCC for summer school there.. but its a very afforable living area I lived with a room mate in a 2 br for only 490 a month and that included utilities... You can find a nice 1br anywhere from 575-685 and it would be closed to uptown with those prices.. So even if you wanted to live along it would be extremely easy to do it until your comfortable and also its a big city lots of people so if things didnt work out you'll be in a great area to meet new people..
  • sandiki
    sandiki Posts: 454
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    without a doubt.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    I did. Moved 1,100 miles, from SoCal to Portland, Oregon, in 1987. Marriage lasted 3 years. But, found the love of my life here, after the divorce, in Portland and built a new and better life.
  • carebear9703
    carebear9703 Posts: 6 Member
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    Do it! I moved to San Diego from Indiana right after I graduated college and although it didn't work out with the guy I moved for I have no regrets. I experienced things, met people, and lived a life i would have never know of if i hadn't taken the leap. The wrost thing that can happen is you move back home. You don't want to look back and think what if. No matter if it doesn't work out you can at least say you did it. So excited for you! Go for it!
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    Move at the end of August, after you have looked at the possibilities for your field, and have a job nailed down that has room for promotion. Get your own place so if, by remote chance, it doesn't work out, you don't have to uprooted yourself.
  • Tandksmommy11
    Tandksmommy11 Posts: 399 Member
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    Go for it! I always said I'd do just about anything for love...real love, not just lust..haha.

    Do it the smart way though, do some research, job interviews, find a place to live, etc. Don't just rush down there and hope it all falls into place- you won't want any extra stress on your new relationship. :)

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